I am a fast reader, but this one was so painful to get through. It is the father of Christian Internal Family Systems (I took a seminar from him a few months). I bought this thinking that it was his book about that subject only to discover that it is his in-depth journal from the trauma of sexual abuse to recovery. It is raw and emotional, and there was times where I felt physically ill reading it. That is why it took so long to get through it.
It is a worthwhile read to understand what those who go through childhood sexual abuse endure. I wanted to slap his mother. Even when she "realized" that what she had done was wrong (duh!), she was so self-centered! I admire this man for continuing to even be in the same room with her.
I was most touched by his time at the Our Lady of the Redwoods Trappist Retreat Center.
This book is NOT for everyone. I was sexually abused, but it was a one-time incident (with mind games played on me for year since he was a neighbor across the street for my whole childhood), and I had the boundaries to know that I needed to steer clear of him from then on out (although he was constantly coming over to our house and visiting with my dad who had no idea of what he had done because I never knew to tell him). There was enough damage from that encounter. I cannot imagine what it must have been like for this author.
The book has very strong language. It is very graphic.
I did love that part of his healing came from doing the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius as this is what I have facilitated every year with individuals and groups since 2019. I think that the Exercises were really significant in my continued healing. Once I got to that part of the book, I knew there was a reason why I mistakenly bought it.
This was a LOONG book. I am glad I finally finished it.
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