Freewrite

I have attempted to do this so many times by doing a "Prayerful Review of my Day," but it has not happened. So, I am just going to write freely in a freewrite for the next fifteen. It seems like it has been a while since I did that.

The last couple of weeks have been really lovely. Something is changing in me that is really encouraging. For instance, we had taken our taxes to an accountant, and we had signed everything on the dotted line last Friday and thought they were going to the IRS. Tuesday afternoon (tax day) brought in a flurry of texts and emails. Long story short, there was a mistake on our tax form, and we would not be getting the big refund that we thought, and we had to pay more for our Oregon tax. I had looked forward to getting a break on Tuesday afternoon. We had all day Sunday with guests for Easter, all day Monday with teaching at the University and then visiting for about five hours with different internationals, and then getting ready to lead my Kingdom Community on Tuesday morning (getting up early on Tuesday to do it since I had quite a bit of reading to do). So, I was taking a walk and then was going to just rest! (I was sick in bed Thursday - Saturday with a nasty cold.)

Instead of resenting, complaining, sighing, etc. I just got in my car, drove down to the accountants office, and wrote a check and walked out and was laying down within 30 minutes. No hemming or hawing. I was just resigned and peaceful.

I have been that way since then. I made a choice. I just decided not to exert any energy on it. I even had a great time driving down there in the car and back.

Then, I rest and woke up this morning to have great time with God (reading Acts now), preparing for Kingdom Community for next Tuesday (only five more weeks), and leading two high powered Pilates classes, walked and did Dial a Book, and now I have just been home and so peaceful.

I asked Elizabeth for prayer on Monday night. Someone (who is obviously in pain and probably ashamed) doesn't want to talk to me. I know I didn't do anything wrong, and they are feeling unsafe. (I think something really terrible happened, but I don't know what happened.) Anyway, I realized the pain of that was bothering me. So, I asked Elizabeth to pray for me (I don't usually do that except with George). Since then, I have a real peace. God keeps on telling me that He is keeping me from drama. That it is a matter too difficult for me and I can compose and quiet my soul (Psalm 131:2). So, I chose peace and not drama.

So, I sit here just aware that I don't need to be fearful or afraid or frustrated or even nervous. I can just be at peace.

That is lovely.

So, here I sit composed and quieted. I am good.

I do think it has helped that Michael is working the swing shift, and I can have solitude in the afternoon. He is not loud or obnoxious though. It is just nice to have the run of the house for all these hours. I love it. I love just resting into that.

I have to say that I am really going to miss this Kingdom community. They are so positive and encouraging and caring and love to pray. They are also so teachable. They have been introduced to so many new things, and they have just eaten everything up and APPLIED everything. They feel convicted, and they respond so humbly. I really like this group. I will miss praying and studying and doing outreach with them. Such a good year. I am really glad I listened and obeyed.

Well, I think that has been a long freewrite. But I am going to press the button and just not worry about proofreading anything. (I always say that, but I might do it, and that is ok because it is my freewrite.)