Continuing Thoughts About Slowing Down

I have a prayer watch in an hour and fifteen minutes. So I will journal/freewrite for fifteen and then take a nice long walk before my bike ride. 

I think I realized that I have added another two or three layers to my plate, and this is where I am at. 

I would love to talk to my spiritual director, but she is not answering me. 

I think that going back to teaching in-person really is more time involved. It isn't as simple as putting out a mat on my living room floor and setting up my computer. It is riding my bike to campus, opening my room early, getting COVID sanitation things set before and after class; but I feel like the benefit far outweighs the cost:

1) Face-to-face with young people

2) Conversation instead of me alone in my living room talking to a computer with everyone's microphone muted

3) MUSIC that doesn't sound distorted and not a problem (because some people cannot hear it and other people can)

4) PROPS that I don't have to arrange for people to have to purchase or get from my boss

5) Extra time riding my bike that I probably would not do if I did not do it

6) Seeing the beautiful fall leaves turn as I ride

7) The hustle and bustle of a college campus

8) Extra income (not a big deal though)

So I do think I love being back, but I think it is more time than it was before, and if I go to two classes in subsequent terms, it will be even more time cleaning and adjusting because of COVID.

So, there is that. I providentially had one directee take a hiatus because she is doing the Spiritual Exercises and another has moved and transitioned (and I questioned after two sessions whether it really was a good foot for me and for her). I have one I don't know if she is going to continue because I have met with her a lot over the last four years, and she does not have a lot of time flexibility. So I have fewer directees now. That is great. I am wanting to transition from local to global directees too.

But I am still doing another group facilitation, and I started that before this class. I like it, but it is WAY more time than the 60 hours they originally told me it would be. So I am in a bit of a quandary about whether I would continue next year. Is it a good fit for me too? I am so much more a one-on-one director and co-leading a group has been awkward for me in many ways. I think the group is too big too. I would put people in groups of four. So I would have one leader for four instead of two leaders for eight of us. Not my call. I love most of the content though, and I am very familiar with it.

I am also leading a Prayer Watch. I love being IN the Prayer Watches, and leading one is pretty easy because it is a silent prayer time which I do anyway! So I like that, but it does involve time preparing. I like it though, but that is one thing that was added in the fall. 

I decided to not participate very much in the Book Babes this year too. I won't go to the picking party. They did not pick any of my books this last year, and I ended up leading one because all three of another person's books were picked. I am also uncomfortable with political discussions sometimes. Last time the majority were making comments about people who choose not to be vaccinated, and I think that is a personal choice (I am vaccinated, but I am not going to condemn my friends who are not.) I was uncomfortable with that. I really love those people though. I think I need a break for this season of my life. And the people that I am closest to are in the Renovare Book Club. So I am happy about continuing that. Maybe go back after I retired from OSU?

I am also seeing that my commitment to developing Abiding Resources has reduced since I got through the podcasts we already have. The rest will come in with a trickle, and I have asked the last seven to come in by December 1st so I can have them in by December 21. The rest are "icing on the cake" podcasts that can trickle in. I am happy to find resources for them during my break between March 10 and April 2 when we go on our big trip, but I won't be doing any more interviews after December 21. that is when I feel like the leadership of this sub-group will end. I think P can take it to another level. I think my money will run out by then too. I will hopefully transition more to spiritual direction within the organization. 

Renovare Book Club is going to start up again, but if I am not doing the other one, I will have the bandwidth. I love most of the books we read. I love the people. I love the resources they provide. So I think I can do that. So surprised they all wanted to continue too!

So I will drop Abiding and Power and Book Babes. I won't have the OMS Cohort next year either. So that will be good. I will sponsor Elizabeth and Claire though. I am also going to not do as many 1000 Books to Read Before You Die. I am getting to some I just DON'T LIKE!

I need to go on my walk. LOVE to write these days.