Lightworks Two/6 (Jn 8:3-12, Lk 15:4-32) FREEWRITE

I couldn't sleep again last night. So I got up and had some meditation time at 1 am on Jn 8:3-12. I kept on thinking something was eating at me all evening, but it was a burden that I am carrying for my oldest son. He called me at 5:06 pm yesterday to say that his job was being outsourced to Atlanta, and he was immediately out of a job. This was after they had given him a 30% pay raise six weeks ago telling him that they did not want to lose him. Say what?

I kept hearing HOPE for my son as I had my Examen. I had such a wonderful day. I had gotten up and was already mostly done with getting my house ready for the housecleaners (This was a gift from my hubby back in 2006 when I was so full up with homeschooling, discipling women, and having back problems - so George hired housecleaners, and now I don't really have back problems, but they are like part of the family now. So I cannot let them go.) I woke up to a non-rushed morning, no pain in my QL/Psoas, and no more sickness. I had my time on the deck as they cleaned. Then I went and did volunteering for the library (and got a FREE BOOK by Candace Millard - Score). I also did final preparation for leading my book study on Restructuring the Gospel. Then the lovely ladies came. I really enjoy them all, and it was a good group this year. I think they all loved the book, but as the leader, I did not reveal that I did not care for the book. Anywho, they left, and I was so full to overflowing. Time with God. Time doing self-preservation tasks.(This is my weakest area on the Enneagram Instinctual Variants so I always feel SO GOOD when I focus on task rather than relationships which is usually what I do.) Stimulating spiritual formation discussion (they caused me to like the book a bit more, and I love these women and their humility and passion for God and social justice). Moving and dancing and meeting my exercise goals even though I did not go out of the house for my normal walk.

Then the bad news about Michael job.

But, I do count is as the most meaningful and consoling parts of my day. Mainly because God met me in HOPE for him. My mother's heart hurt for my son (although it was nothing personal, and they were pleased with his work - strictly a restructuring since the owner of the company died). God said: "You are loved. Michael is loved. I have bigger and better things for him." I hope this includes a deepening relationship with God for Michael too. I love him so, and it was so good to realize that when I first started consistent Examen, the anxiety over his job search 18 months ago was eye opening as I wrestled with that on a daily basis, but this time it is all about hope. It is all about bigger and better things that God has for him. I am different from how I was 18 months ago.  Growth.

LIGHTWORKS 2/6: THE HOLY SPIRIT CALLS TO ONGOING CONVERSION. 

Grace sought: I ask Christ's Spirit to lead me in ongoing conversion to what I am to change just now. 

The meditation on Jn 8:3-12 was meaningful also. Jesus did not condemn the woman caught in adultery but told her to go and sin no more. I got that flash of the bishop in Les Miserables and Jean Val Jean where he does not condemn him for stealing the candlestick but essentially told him to "go and sin no more." 

Jean Valjean attempts to reintegrate with society, but the ex-prisoner finds rejection at every turn. At last he turns to the charity of a local bishop, Bishop Myriel, a kind and self-sacrificing man that takes him in for the night. That night Valjean steals the Bishop’s silver, is soon caught by local police and brought back to the church. The Bishop tells the police that the silver was his gift to Jean Valjean, thus sparing Valjean from a return to prison.

In the play the Bishop later says to Valjean, “By the passion and the blood, God has raised you out of darkness.”² And such mercy spares Jean Valjean from returning to prison, but it is a mercy that forces a crisis in Valjean’s life.

Take an eye for an eye!
Turn your heart into stone!
This is all I have lived for!
This is all I have known!
One word from him [the Bishop] and I’d be back
Beneath the lash, upon the rack.

Instead he offers me my freedom!
I feel my shame inside me like a knife.
He told me that I have a soul...
How does he know?
What spirit comes to move my life?
Is there another way to go?

I am reaching, but I fall
And the night is closing in...
As I stare into the void —
To the whirlpool of my sin.³

In the light of mercy, Jean Valjean is thrown into the depravity of his sinfulness, and he is broken. By the Blood-bought mercy offered to him by the Bishop, Jean Valjean’s life is permanently and forever changed. He himself becomes a man of mercy.

From: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-power-of-les-miserables 

God is good and merciful. 

Luke 14:4-7- I think God just wants our humble hearts. He rejoices over a humble heart and a changed mind about the status quo of things. I am open to the whole social justice/racism dialogue. For me it is more a matter of calling and time. God gives us so much time in every day to glorify him, and if he told me to drop the missional work he has already given me to do, I would do it, but I think it is legalism and playing the voice of God to say that EVERYONE needs to do this. So, I asked God about this whole racism thing, and God said to learn more about the "social justice stream," and pray for racial equality. Of course, as it crosses my path, I will speak up for inequality because that is just what I do (Like when people would have physical fights at school, and I would get in the middle of it and say NO NO NO NO, that is just how I roll [and it helps to be tall and intimidating. LOL!]) Well this has gone on far too long. My battery is going to run out (the plug is on the wrong side of this deck by the way). Going to go and do my review of The Secret Garden.