17. The Rainbow Comes and Goes by Anderson Cooper and Gloria Vanderbilt

The title comes from a quote by Wordsworth. 

I find it reassuring knowing the rainbow comes and goes. It helps me accept the way things often are.  

In every life, you have moments of blinding beauty and happiness, and then you land in a dark cave and there is no color, no sky. Then the rainbow returns, and sometimes only briefly, but it always does come back. You have to believe that it will, even in the darkest of times. That belief is what is really important. 

Nothing is meant to last forever. Our lives are fleeting. We surround ourselves with objects, collect things, try to hold on to people and money and status, but it doesn't last.  

We are not meant always to be happy, and who would want to be? Happiness would become meaningless if it were a constant state. If you accept that, then you will not be surprised when something bad occurs, you will not gnash your teeth and ask, "Why me? Why has this happend to me?" 

It has happened to you because there is a nature of things. No one escapes. 

The rainbow comes and goes. Enjoy it while it lasts. Don't be surprised by its departure, and rejoice when it returns. 

There is so much to be joyful about, so many different kinds of rainbows in one's life: making love is an incredible rainbow, as is falling in love; knowing friendship; being able to really talk with someone who has a problem and say something that will help; waking up in the morning, looking out, and seeing a tree that has suddenly blossomed, like the one I have outside my window -- what joy that brings. It may seem a small thing, but rainbows come in all sizes. 

I think about Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz singing, about where "bluebirds fly," and Jan Peerce singing about " A bluebird of happiness." Well, they may never find it, they may never reach it, and that's okay. The searching, that's what I think life is really all about. Don't you?   Gloria Vanderbilt, p. 273-274

This is more a story of Gloria's life than Anderson's, but I found her story so touching. She admits to the many mistakes she has made. She is definitely a survivor. I felt such compassion for her. Her dad died when she was a baby (cirrhosis of the liver brought on by alcoholism). Her mother was too vain and narcissistic (and young) to care for her. This is about her search for love in all the wrong places. 

This is all in the backdrop of her coming from one of the richest families in America. It is sad, and she made some REALLY poor choices (very impulsive person and a dreamer) devoid of any real understanding of God, but I thought these reflections between son and mother were so beautiful that it is a worthy read. I cannot understand the reviews that call her a whiner and complainer. Those people are so non-compassionate and unfair! I ended up wanting to meet this woman!

I could not put it down. (Another reviewer said it was "boring," and I couldn't believe it! As my Senior English teacher once said, "There are no such things as dull subjects, only dull minds." And I might add that she directed it to me when I told her what we were reading was boring. Youth is wasted on the young!)

P.S. This Dorothy Parker quote makes me want to ponder:

"They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm."

I am NOT one of those people, and I never sicken of the calm. Gloria Vanderbilt strikes me as someone who needs chaos. So, I do not think this quote applies to all people. Just sayin'! 

The whole poem in context:

Here are sweet waters, pretty in the sun,
Whose quiet ripples meet obediently
A marked and measured line, one after one.
This is no sea of mine. that humbly laves
Untroubled sands, spread glittering and warm.
I have a need of wilder, crueler waves;
They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.

So let a love beat over me again,
Loosing its million desperate breakers wide;
Sudden and terrible to rise and wane;
Roaring the heavens apart; a reckless tide
That casts upon the heart, as it recedes,
Splinters and spars and dripping, salty weeds. 

Dorothy Parker

Thursday Freewrite

George's CPAP machine was squeaking at 2 am. He didn't hear it, but it woke me up out of a sound sleep, and I was not able to go back to sleep. I also have some pollen stuck in my throat or something because I keep coughing. So, I am sipping apple cider vinegar and enjoying a very EARLY morning. I went to sleep before 10 pm so am not that tired. I will just go to be early tonight. :) 

I had a great eating day. Chai, soup, salad, four strawberries, orange, salmon and hazelnut salad, and a McFlurry (not my choice but my sweet husband brought it home). YAY! 

I also had a wonderful talk with my boss yesterday, and I am really happy to say that he is very happy with what I am doing. He just wanted to check up and see how I am doing and his plans for me for next year, which were great. Same schedule. We talked about the transition issues in the room I am in, and that was very helpful. We have a game plan now. 

Wednesday Freewrite

I don't have a whole lot of time this morning as I stayed up late finishing up watching Dr. Thorne, an adapted screenplay by Julian Fellowes from a Anthony Trollope book.

It was lovely. Most of the actors were familiar to me. It was great to watch. Alas, I stayed up too late. I look forward to having the summer off where I do not have to rush out the door in the mornings. At this point, I am done getting up and out the door on Mondays, and I only have one more Wednesday, and I am done. I also finished up my Tuesday morning commitment, and I will be done with the Thursday afternoon commitment once on month this Thursdays. My only commitment will be the Summer Storytelling Symposium (or some other "S" to make it an alliteration). I am hoping to have that in the mornings, but I need to talk to the lovely girl who teaches at INTO to see if she is teaching this summer. 

All that said, I think my first priority will be getting a bit more cardio in. I have done a lot of core strengthening this year, and I am rock solid. I will continue to do Pilates each morning, and I hope to have Marie train me on the apparatus a bit this summer (expensive, but I am curious). But I want to combine that with more cardio. I have especially enjoyed riding my bike to and from class every Monday and Wednesday (except on days I have had Dial-a-book or it has rained too much. I think I have only had one day where the rain was the reason for me driving to work - amazing for Oregon). All that said, I need more calorie burn. My cardiovascular fitness level is still excellent, but I just am not burning calories like I used to with the extra Pilates. So, it is more walking and moving around every day of the week. I hope to do many home projects that always burn a lot of calories. I hope to go through each closet. I had started that last summer, and I got through many of them, but I also want to do a total kitchen reorganization, paint the wall in my bedroom. I also want to get the deck all spruced up as the plexiglass has been broken for years. 

I need to be faithful to do all of these things and not sit around! Move More and Eat Less.

I have been eating too much lately! I just snack in the evenings. But that will change as I hope to move more in the evenings too. The three shows I love to watch: Survivor, Amazing Race, and Dancing with the Stars have all concluded. So, in the evenings, I will move more; but I also hope to read more. I have so many books waiting to be read, and I just have not been good about reading them! 

I also hope to go up with George more often as I will not be limited on Mondays and Wednesdays. I will just not teach at SNAP on the weeks when I want to be up with George. If my enrollment for SNAP continues to be low in the summer, I will take a hiatus in the class. 

Well, that is almost fifteen minutes, and I need to get ready for my second to last day of class. I will be meeting with my boss after class today, and I am bit nervous. I am not sure why. I have debated about continuing to do this. I have not been able to develop my personal training, but I love being able to work with people who are young and establishing life-long habits of postural awareness, corrective stretching, and core stabilization! I use all my knowledge from personal training for this class too. It has benefited me greatly. 

I applied for the scholarship for further Pilates training, but I have not heard a word. I guess I didn't even make the first cut. Oh well!

TTFN! 

Wednesday Freewrite

I have been able to do more freewrites lately. I love them. I love that Paul does them daily now. YAY!

I am still suffering from allergies! I keep thinking I am better, take a walk in this beautiful weather, and then suffer the consequences the next morning when I am all stuffed up. I don't know if I will stopped walking and riding my bike though because I love outdoor exercise. What is a girl to do? We will see. 

I must remind Will that I need my membership refunded. Sue is the only one coming to my class lately, and I think it is weird that three weeks ago, I had a full class. The weather is much nicer so people are out and about. I am wondering about it all and will just have to pray about it.

I know it is silly, but I am watching the finale of all these shows that I watch in the spring: Survivor, Amazing Race (last Friday), Dancing with the Stars, and Selfridge. I am not sure when the finale for Call the Midwife is though. Anyway, I am excited to have more time to read! I have a pile of books I am ready to plow through in the evenings!

I got a book called The Inklings that Lorraine had on her shelf. I am very excited to do that since I will go to where they gathered in Oxford! YAY. 

I know it has not been fifteen minutes, but I am struggling for things to write. Today, I have to straighten up the house for Valentina, get ready to teach a Ball Pilates class (I cannot for my 10 am because Dee is using the balls for her class.), teach two classes, stop by free lunch and say hi to Ika on my way to having lunch with Teala. Then I go to the library to pick up dial-a-book books and then back home for a bit of a rest before my Wednesday Pilates night class. Then, it is that Survivor finale! 

Thursday is relatively free other than a lunch at Panera with Michelle. I have not seen her in forever. I have no idea what she is up to these days.

Friday, George is working from home so I am keeping the day clear and working on home projects which have been sadly neglected. 

Saturday, we are free! I had the option of going to a listening prayer workshop, but it was a basic level one and none of the women I mentor needed that basic level, and I certainly did not. I am excited about having a truly 100% free Saturday for the first time since April 16. Last Saturday was close to it, but we went to the wedding (which was a joy) in the afternoon and early evening. 

Well, now it is probably closer to the fifteen minutes. Valentina will be here in 1 hour and 15 minutes (I woke up at 5:15 but went back to sleep until 6:15!).  So, I must get this house ready for her. I don't care if there are allergens throughout the air, I won't to go out and enjoy the sunshine! 

Ta ta for now. 12 1/2 minute freewrite is better than no freewrite at all! 

Sixty Slim Down

Spring is always busy. I am not sure why. Five workshops between March 12 and May 5 and 12 weeks of teaching in Sunday School. I am through all the workshops and one more month of Sunday School, and we will be free.

Maybe I am just tired from the school year. I have been dragging the last two weeks. It also might be that spring always brings on allergies that seem to knock me out. 

Spring also brings on extra pounds. I don't exercise as much because I walk less due to the allergies and being busier than usual. 

So, over the next sixty days. I WILL be better (also helps that those holidays where George tends to buy me FOOD instead of something non-edible are all over until our anniversary.) 

So, I will be journaling more about my journey to wellness of BODY here. I may listen to more audiobooks instead of sitting down to read them. I need some Move more and Eat Less Training (MELT) for the rest of the spring and first month of the summer. 

Ready GO! 

P.S. June 1 update: I decided to wait until my classes were over so I started this yesterday and am on a plan with two other people for the next 45 days. That should get me down to my "low" weight again. I am still at an acceptable BMI, but I like to be at the lowest and healthiest BMI for me!

June 6 update: I have a five day streak going in recording and reporting! It is going great. I am biking more, and I am done with my allergies and the cold that followed and plagued me for 11 days! 

Monday Freewrite

Listening to Ephesians 2-6 and freewriting.

Ephesians 2: He sits us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus the Messiah. Saving is all God's idea. It is God's gift from start to finish. Whew!

Rich history of God's covenants. So rich to know the Old Testament covenants. It makes listening to this so joyful. 

Christ came and preached peace to everyone. Equal access to the Father through Christ. We all belong here in Christ. Building a home. Brick by brick. Stone by stone. A temple in which God is home. 

Ephesians 3: The mystery is that people who have never heard of God and those who have heard of it all their life are on equal ground before God through Christ. This is my life's work: helping people understand and respond to the Message. . . Came as a gift . . . God handling all the details. . . When it came to presenting the Message to people who had no background . . . I was the least qualified . . . God saw to it that I was equipped, but you can be sure that it had nothing to do with my natural abilities. 

I was going to go on in the Ephesians, but I think I need to pause and marvel. "This is my life's work . . . " that section is what I turned to while praying with Lorraine on Friday! I had written the whole passage out in my journal, but I had not written down the reference. I am grateful that God showed me it this morning because I think this is my life's work also! Lorraine said that hers was to "Sow the Word of God." She has done that her whole life. God can take care of the rest.

5:18 and The First Bird Sings

I am up early this morning, and it is getting lighter earlier and earlier. I heard my first bird start to sing at 5:18 am, and now the other birds are joining in the morning welcome of the new day that God has made. "We sing the glory of our God!" YAY!

I went to a lovely wedding last night. It really was lovely. Anna B. married a man she has been dating for a little bit over a year. She was at Jesse and Kat's engagement party, and I knew there was something different about her. She was positively glowing! Then she told me about Michael. What a sweet, sweet girl who used to come to the Bible Book Club (www.3yearbiblebookclub.blogspot.com) during our first cycle through back in 2008! I guess we have known her a very long time, and she has always been a very, very sweet girl!

I am not feeling really well with a bit of a fever. So, I am thinking of staying home from church and Sunday School this morning as I have a big week ahead of myself. 

I am currently reading through Galatians, and I am loving this! I should be able to start my favorite book, Ephesians, this morning too. YAY!

Well, I just wanted to write about the birds. Nothing significant or earth-shattering. This is more like a mini-freewrite to welcome the new Sunday, May 15! 

Sweet Sixteen Saturday Freewrite

Sixteen minutes on a Saturday at . . . darn . . . I should have done it at 6:16 or 7:17! Then it would have been so alliterative that I would have been in raptures.

Not!

It is 9:46, and I have already started reading Galatians (yummy), sipped my chai (two days without it while up in Newberg and McMinnville is such a sad thing), listened to Tozer, written a review of Tozer, responded to emails about request to lead another thing (a good thing - so am tempted), and had a dialogue with a friend who wrote me in distress last night and then did not respond when I asked what was wrong (8:36-9:26)! ACK! All is right with her (I finally started praying when she didn't respond to my texts about her condition! Duh!)

Oh yes, then George got up, and we processed about a few things. I also cleaned up the kitchen, having neglected to totally clean it up before i left on Wednesday afternoon (bad homemaker!). 

So, here I sit three hours after having risen from my slumber (A good one - I might add after a very lousy one my first night in Newberg! I needed to catch up. I slept from 10:30-2:30 and had to get up due to Mexican food tummy ache, bad bed, and shifting hubby.) I have a free Saturday morning only because I opted out of going to book club this morning. They are discussing Wuthering Heights, and this group had already discussed it long ago, and I did not want to revisit it with the newbies. I like all those newbies though. They are reading Jungle Book next, and I definitely want to go to that one! :) 

George is going to pick up my hold. I want some more Bible Study time though. I think Galatians deserves my full attention, and I was distracted by my friend's distress. 

I sit here so happy to say that I "It IS well with my soul." I told George there was one thing that was causing me stress, but I pray for it daily, and I expect God to answer in a surprising and wonderful way. 

I sit here in love with God and my husband, and so loving my boys. They are men of exceptional character and responsibility. I really love them a whole lot. I love that Paul freewrites every day, and that I did not know it. I am so happy that Michael responsibly carries out everything that he needs to do without expecting us to hold his hand. I pray he gets an internship in animation this summer. :) He is so talented. I pray Paul gets one in graphic design, but I think that will come later these days. 

I love Tozer, and I hope that you can read my review before this post. SO yummy.

I got distracted by that handsome man in the room so I added five minutes to my freewrite time and am going to not stop (he is leaving to pick up library holds and tomatoes so I will be distraction free until my next thing - lol!).

So what else is on my mind (freewrites mean you can write about anything you want). I have been eating too much. For Mother's Day, I got twelve HUGE chocolate dipped strawberries, three cheesecakes, and one HUGE ice cream cake (and a partridge in a pear tree - oh wait, no). How can one person eat all that before they go back. George came home after a week, and I am forcing him to eat one of the cheesecakes and having Paul have ice cream cake. If it is in the house, I feel obligated to eat it! 

Well, I am now tired of freewriting and will go for a walk in the rain. I need to move more and eat less as I think I have put on five pounds since the beginning of the term! ACK! I can feel it keenly. 

So good-bye blog for today. :) 

16. Delighting in God by A.W. Tozer

My, oh my! Get this book. I am a HUGE A.W. Tozer fan. He was the first theologian I read when I was a fairly young believer. I remember reading The Knowledge of the Holy in the music room of the Memorial Union Ballroom on the Oregon State University campus in 1981 and being absolutely blown away! This book is a follow-up to that book, but it was only recently published. 

It comes so perfectly timed as our Celebration of Discipline chapter this week was on Worship. I did not have an "I WILL" statement from our reading, but I knew God would reveal that to me. I had downloaded this free book on to my iPhone (Christian audio gives away a free book every month. If you want to download this one, you can download the app and search for it or go to the website HERE. This book is only available for May 2016, but if you are reading this after that, there will be another one available on the website.), and I had a long car journey up to Newberg, down to McMinnville, and back home. So I listened and marveled at God's perfect timing.

He talks about passion for God, and how our perception of God can be shaped. The outflow of that is worship and much more. Perception is reality, but I really believe our perception of Him is based more on the church's anemic representation of Him, rather than who He really is. That, coupled with our perception of Him that is based more on our parents, makes for not seeing God as He really is. Therefore, we do not delight in Him. This book is a call to truly seeing Him for who He is: fantasy transformed to reality.

So good. I am in the middle of the book, but I wanted to post this before I finished so others could take advantage of the free book for the next few days. I may add more to this book when I finish! 

15. The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Can I just say, "WOW!"? 

I had this as one of the books in my library. Somehow I have a memory of reading this in the Rustenbach's backyard in about 1981, but I remember a much smaller book. It must have been something else or maybe it is was just a chapter of it.

This book is so deep and rings so true in my heart. The advantage of listening to it in audio is that I don't find Bonhoeffer as difficult to get through (thinking how audio helped me get through C.S. Lewis and Dallas Willard when I first began reading them), but the disadvantage is that there were so many gems that I would have loved to underline and cut and paste! 

I think everyone should read this (behind the Bible, of course). I think it will be hard for most to get through but well-worth the sustained effort. 

The audio narration was lovely too. 

This book is so compelling. I especially liked his words on the disciple and unbelievers. The bottom line is the way of love, which is the way of Jesus. I have said that to so many who have wanted to thump people over the head with the gospel. 

Wednesday Freewrite

Things are slowing down so much that it looks like I can finally go up and see my mother-in-law, aunt-in-law, and George! I had to cancel something, but I was very happy to do that and wish I would have just done it last week since I was there already. 

I am really mellow this morning. I think I am still a little knocked out from allergies. Nancy is a little bit higher in elevation so her Scotch Broom was in bloom while they have stopped blooming down on the valley floor. So, needless to say, a 2 mile hike socked it to me. 

Nevertheless, the walk was so worth it. What a glorious and beautiful day! I loved it. We had a nice talk on worship yesterday. It was lovely. 

All of a sudden, I am thinking how nice it would be to have a webinar about spiritual growth with people all over the world. Women who are in countries where they are somewhat isolated. Or more specifically, single women who are isolated. I think about my talk with one of those single women. She is in the States right now though, but she is somewhat isolated, and she wants to have a "growth plan." What about a growth plan of spiritual growth going through Celebration of Discipline? 

I am going to pray into that, and we will see where that ends up. 

I went to my doctor for a little "check up" because I only see him once a month for back issues. Guess what, I went in there having not had any pain for a very long time, and I have had a pain in my right lower back ribs since he adjusted me last THURSDAY! That is six days. What gives? I don't understand what has happened.

I stayed at Nancy's until 4:30 yesterday. I got there at 9:30. It was was relaxing though. I needed a day "away" from things I could be doing at home. I needed a day to just talk. I talked about being tired. I am not as tired now. I think I am tired because of the allergies though. Seven hours is a long time, but I think Nancy enjoyed it. :) It was edifying conversation. 

I just want to say that I sense God's Spirit pretty powerfully now. I have been reading this heretical book by this guy who calls everyone else a heretic. I don't think he would know God's Spirit. I feel like he is always in his head, slamming every other legitimate spiritual leader in the world, not hearing God's still, small voice because he doesn't believe that God has a still, small voice. It made me very sad. I got his book because somehow it came up when I was searching for something else. The heretic who calls others heretics. The people he calls heretics are just going about their business helping others grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ while he is spending all his time and energy slandering and mocking others and trying to recruit people to his point of view. It is very interesting. You will know them by their fruit. Where is the fruit in this man's life. He really believes he is doing God's work, but he is creating destruction and disunity. I am resolved to pray for him.

On a fun note, I have LOVED praying for the world recently. I am in the "K" countries. :) 

And speaking of that, I am off to do it because my 15 minutes freewrite is officially over. 

Have a wonderful, sunny, lovely day!

Wednesday Fifteen Minute Freewrite

When I have time to freewrite, I know I have created margin in my life. I have been very busy. I told George this morning that we have been doing everything we love lately. There is nothing we have been doing that is outside of our giftings and passions, but even too much of a good thing is not so good! 

So, today, I made an executive decision to just "be" here. All here. I do not have a single obligation until 3:30 this afternoon. I am thinking that I will NOT do anything on Friday or Saturday either. We realized we had not had a "clear calendar day" since April 16th, and I think we are due for one. So, I think I can swing tomorrow as a free day for just me, and then Saturday is a free day for the two of us together. George does work at home on Friday, but he will not be free. 

I think I have a free day. I do not want to come up for air on this freewrite to look at my calendar though. Actually, I remember that I do have a possibility of something, but I am going to resist it. I am not going to go to it. It would be really fun, but it might mean an obligation of more relationship follow-up, and I have more than enough relationships for one person, and George does too. We are filled up to fullness, and it is fun. Too much would not be fun. It would be a burden.

Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline series has been lovely, and the "Discipline of Submission" chapter was pretty profound for all of us. He said something like, "Submission is also submission to your own human limitations." I know myself all too well that if I do too much, I crash. I have no energy left. I get crabby and lose perspective. I need those times of solitude and prayer beyond my daily time with God. I have learned the joy of a moment-by-moment relationship with Him more and more with each passing year as it has been my ambition to lead a 24/7/365 kind of life since I was in my early-20's. 30+ years of practice has made that more of a reality, but YET, I still need those times where that is my only occupation with no discipling others, no exercising, no Pilates, no teaching, no workshops, no social engagements, no writing work, nothing but me and Him and 100% focus. Both are important, but I follow Jesus' lead that He, "often departed to lonely places to pray." 

So, I sit here today. Actually, I do have something very important to do for my OSU Pilates classes, and I need to do them before Jennifer is off of work for the weekend because I might have questions for her. I also will need to grade two late papers that I anticipate will come in any minute. But that will be the bulk of my "work" for today. Then, I will help lead this Webinar at 3:45 - 5:15. Thursday night will be the beginning of my rest, of wait, I might go to the thing at Calvary tonight as Kellie is leading something fun. But FOR SURE, I will start bright and early Friday morning. (I may not go tonight either - I need to see if my partial rest this morning will be sufficient for me - I am very tired.) Friday and Saturday can both be those days. 

Well, I love to freewrite even though people always ask me what it is that I am doing. It still shocks me that anyone actually reads these things anyway! 

I also have to say that George always laughs when I say I have a free day because he knows that I will fill it with doing something productive, but I am not having to "work"! Productive does not mean that I cannot have restful productivity! I don't like to be a slug, at least not in the mornings. I am usually a slug in the late afternoon, and that has usually been my practice unless I meet with Kellie. I am sure glad we moved our Celebration of Discipline time to the mornings. I am so much more "with it" then!

I am sure it has been 15 minutes. 

I will say what is left of my longer term commitments:

Ahh. Saved by the BELL! No listing. I am pressing send. Please know I know the difference between there, their, and they're. I just do not proofread these things before I send and am aghast when I read them later on! LOL! 

Tuesday Twelve Freewrite

This new Google timer on my search page is going to be a boon to my existence! It is so convenient to do freewrites without having to search online for my old one or search for my little Flylady timer (Where is that thing anyway? I saw it recently, but I don't remember where. I am so bad at keeping track of little things.). 

I am going for a walk with Jamie today. I had been thinking that she would probably benefit from some basic discipleship time. It would be great. I think I will tell her that and see what she says.

I am texting with Ika from Indonesia right now about going on a walk. I am excited about that. I like her alot!

I need to contact T too. I have not heard from her in a few days, and I like to check up on her because she lives in a very dangerous place. 

I will do that after I finish this freewrite. 

I woke up early this morning. Yesterday, I had not gone to bed until 2 am because I was fixated on our London itinerary, and the time just flew by. I think I have a really good itinerary now, and I am excited about that. 

Ika and I are going to go to Bald Hill! I am not doing a very good job of sticking with this freewrite. LOL! I keep texting with Ika. 

Well, with my few minutes remaining, and I will say that I have eaten far too much ice cream lately. I think that May will be the day I start in earnest. Could I go a whole month without overeating? I have done it in the past (I don't think I am overeating truly because my weight is still OK - just a bit up from my ideal but still very healthy BMI). I need to bring my eating in or I will get overweight! It happens to so many at my age, and I am determined not to be a statistic! So, May it is! 

In fact, I will start TODAY with that (Even though there is another pint of ice cream screaming at me from the downstairs freezer - can I go until June 1st until I eat it? Hmm.)

Resolved. Ask me if I did it. I have it on the web for all the world to see! 

Ika and I will walk at 9 am. 

I think I am going to get to reading my book chapters for my study on Friday. :)

The Bard Lives on 400 years later!

Love this little summation of the greatest storyteller of all time. https://t.co/jhjpL9SYPN

— Carolfoasia (@Carolfoasia) April 23, 2016

Thursday Thirteen Freewrite

Google now has an online timer that comes up on the search page. Oh happy day. This will be great for my freewrites, but it will also be great for my attempts to get up every fifteen minutes to make sure my hip flexors are not in a set position for too long. 

George is home today, and I could not be happier. I have to prepare for a workshop on Saturday, get my hair done, and meet with Heather, but it is great to have him here until ten tomorrow morning.

It is Queen Elizabeth II 90th birthday today. What a great and consistent monarch she has been. Long live the queen. I am going to go and see those bells of Westminster ring in person. I cannot wait!  England, here we come!

This morning, I get to pray for more of the world again. Yay! I am very excited about. You can read my previous post about this great little prayer resource, Pray for the World. I am also going through Romans right now. I have listened up through Romans 9, but my studying has followed far behind. So I hope to catch up today. I need a "catch my breath" day because Monday-Wednesday were full and fun.

Tuesday was especially great. I am so glad that the Celebration of Discipline group has gone so well. It was a bit rocky at first when we set down some goals, and I realized that one of the people seemed not ready for the journey. Alas, she confessed on Tuesday that she was skeptical, but not she is totally on board. I saw such great glimpses of wisdom with her, but she was still a bit wrapt up in her journey of healing. Some people get so wrapped (Is it wrapt or wrapped? I think it is the latter, but this is a freewrite! So, I won't stop to check!) up in their healing that they don't integrate and invite the Lord into the process. It becomes this separate self-absorbed enterprise, and I think this can be very dangerous. Anyway, I think she sees the benefit of the integration. So, I am excited to finish out the journey with these two where I wondered about bowing out because it was not meeting the goals that I explained for the group. The turning point was also the half day in the Upper Room. It was very beneficial for all of us. 

God is very good. I am very excited.

With work on Monday and Wednesday, this disciplines group, and free lunch, it has been a busy three days. I tried to keep this day free, but this seemed to be the only day that Heather could meet, and I felt it was very important to meet with her this week. So, I will really have to focus this morning on the workshop that is starting in 50 hours! It is not like I have not done this before though. Seriously, it is like breathing for me. So, I am not too worried about the preparation for it, and Nessa is helping me. I just need to incorporate Betty Sue's great graphic on how storytelling affects different parts of the brain! So fun!

Well, I best be going. I think this ringer is going to go off any second. Nope. It goes off in 1 min and 20 seconds.

I am doing great health-wise. I am losing those pesky five pounds that came on because I focused on Pilates without doing cardio over the summer. There is such a balance between strength training and calorie burn. Yes, strength is super important in more efficient calorie burn, but you have to do the work of burning too. I have a nice balance, and I am also free of pain because of that concentration on Pilates. I need to go back to maximal strength training though.

There is the timer!

14. Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster

This is a reread. It all started because I had linked my Bible Book Club site to a PDF of the chapter on fasting from this book. When I was editing my blog (www.3yearbiblebookclub.blogspot.com) , the PDF was no longer there. So, I searched for it. I didn't find it, but I found that there was a DVD curriculum on this book:

http://lifespringsresources.com/products/curriculum/curriculum-of-christlikeness/celebration-of-disciplne-dvd-kit (This is the only place I could find it, but it is lovely. It is really expensive shipping though!) 

So, I ordered the DVD curriculum and invited a friend (who invited a friend) to read the book and watch the curriculum. We have even taken a field trip for the solitude and prayer chapters (see my post from last week). 

The two other people in this group have the newer version, but I am reading my old copy (image above) one that I got in the 80's  that brings back fond memories of reading this book when I was a fairly young believer!

This is a foundational book for growth in Jesus. I highly recommend it! 

13. Pray for the World

It is my first absolutely free Saturday in a long time, and my first thought when I woke up was, "I get to pray for another country in Pray for the World this morning!" That should give you an indication of how much I love this little book. You see, I have been praying for the world for a long time. When Ron York of the Navigators at a conference in 1979, challenged us to pray everyday for the world, I thought, "This guy is crazy." But I stood up and committed myself to it. Most of my prayer consisted of praying for my friends already out in the world. I also had this great Asia book about what was happening there. 

2nd Edition 

Then, in probably 1983, while sitting in a chair in the living room of Randy and Mary Law, I spied the book, Operation World on their shelf (a picture of that 2nd edition is pictured here). I borrowed it and devoured it! It is a comprehensive overview of everything that is going on in the world. It has had seven editions all together (all but one is pictured below. I am not sure there are ANY copies of the first edition!), and I have devoured each one. 

Last year, Pray for the World came out, and it is a concise summary of key prayer points for each country on earth from the Operation World researchers who asked Christian leaders in every country, "How should the body of Christ throughout the world be praying for your country?" Readable. Concise. Doable. Brilliant! 

 I still use Operation World as a reference book (and I have recommended it to students who have had to do reports on difference countries - so helpful!), but I am praying through this one on a daily basis! 

Just a little note, I pray through the current book, and I marvel at the FRUIT of 30+ years of global prayer! I am so thankful for Patrick Johnstone and his vision for praying for the world in an informed way!  God is on the move, and prayer is His gift to us so that we can share in the joy of the harvest. Intercession is God's design, and it leads to greater intimacy with Him. Go for it! Operation World can be overwhelming, but Pray for the World is doable!  

1993 Edition, I think this was the 5th Edition
(also had a kids edition that my kids and I prayed through!)

Below are different editions of the "parent" book for Pray for the World. So grateful for the people who labored to get these published. 

4th Edition 

The middle one is the only image I could find of this edition. I think it is the 3rd Edition

2010, 7th Edition 

2001, 6th Edition 

12. When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Klanithi

I saw this author's wife, Lucy, interviewed on PBS in February, and I put this book on hold.

It took me some time to want to finish. I almost brought it back, but I thought it was so short that I needed to persevere, and I am so glad that I did. I sat in my library yesterday and marveled at this man's beautiful memoir. 

This man was brilliant. I have a pretty large vocabulary, and I had to look up some of his words! He received a BA and MA in English Literature AND a BA in human biology from Stanford. Then, he threw in a MPhil in history and philosophy of science and medicine from Cambridge. On top of all of that, he decides to become a neurosurgeon. His reasoning for all of that made my head hurt (think ultra smart, deep person). In his final year of residency, he was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer.  It is worth the effort to read this short book as a very literate doctor as he contemplates death and life through this lens. 

He contemplates the meaning of life and what makes "us" US!

Here is his wife's interview on PBS. This gives you more insight. Paul wanted to contemplate life through literature. It is really a good interview. Watch it!

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/amid-deaths-throes-young-doctor-examines-life-for-meaning/

Sunday Sixteen Freewrite

Freedom through freewriting. I think there is a measure of truth in this statement. Sometimes, that is what I start off my morning with before I spend time with God. When I freewrite, I examine my life. 

The Upper Room, Broadway Commons, Salem, OR

Today, I wanted to type out some of the things that I learned during my Upper Room prayer time up in Salem. It was good to take Shannon and Nancy. It was our "field trip" from our Celebration of Discipline cohort.

So, some things I jotted down. 

Right off the bat, God brought this poem up again:

"Though my soul may set in darkness 

it will rise in perfect light 

I have loved the stars too fondly 

to be fearful of the night."

Sarah Williams (1837-1868)"The Old Astronomers"

God reminded me of this poem that He dropped in my lap at the Pastor's Prayer Summit in February of 2015. Back then, He was alluring me into a life free of fear, and Friday's reminder was that He had fulfilled that promise. My identity name is "Boldly Beloved," and prior to that point, it had been something I had to remind myself to do. Now, I feel like I am living in it. I am abiding in Him, and the fruit of that is living out my true identity. Freedom from fear is a beautiful thing.

Then, He reminded me of a promise in Daniel 12:3:

Those who are wise will shine brightly like the brightness of the expanse of heaven, and those who lead the many to righteousness like the stars forever and ever.

(Here is a an illustration of this that I cannot repost: http://www.heartlight.org/gallery/1241.html)




I guess I have not received that verse in the past because He gave it to me back in the early 80's. I knew I had a long way to go before I would be one with "wisdom," and I did not want to be a bright and shining star. But I received it fully on Friday. 

It goes along with the "SWAP SIXTEEN" for this year. SWAP stands for Strength, Wisdom, Authority, and Power. He gave me those words on New Year's Eve day, and I didn't flinch. I think those words, in the past, have been scary ones for me. They could bring on arrogance. I am not one to assign those words to myself, but I am one to assign them to God. And that is who we are glorifying here. It is HIS strength, HIS wisdom, HIS authority, His power. That makes those words palatable for me now. Who I am to reject them if God has given them to me? I don't anticipate I will go all Jim Jones on anyone as a results of having those words for 2016. :) 

He also talked about my "Season of Shalom." Best decision to leave my old church. Now, no politics, no drama. I was not the source of it because if I were, I would have brought the drama with me. None came with me. It was there, not in me. Thus why there has been peace. The two times in the last ten years where there was drama, it was a quick disengagement from the two families that were the source of it (with one woman being the center of it in both families) and peace was restored, while those people continued to have drama in their life. I thanked God so much for this season of peace, and He gave me more peace saying, "Blessed are the makers of peace." He reiterated that I was to keep the makers of "crazy at bay" and "stay away and at bay!" He has too much for me to do that I cannot have these kinds of crazy people in my life as much as I feel empathy and compassion for them. I cannot be lured in by them. He is the one "alluring" me, not those people. (Usually they are needy and want me to help them. Then they get me involved with their crazy.)

*I have reached my 16 minute limit on this freewrite, but I am going to keep on going.

There was a worker breaking up concrete in a parking lot across the street from the Upper Room. It could have been distracting because it was loud, but God said, "I am breaking up the fallow ground." Then God reminded me of the vision that Stacy got for me while we were praying for her. Our steps were going over places in a certain part of the world and greenery was growing up under our feet, and we were pulling people out of a pit. This was reiterated by one of the girls in our ministry who had the same vision (and didn't know about Stacy's). 

God indicated there were a few more laborers to train. I asked Him to drop them in our lap. Then, I got an email from Jordan when I was done from our Upper Room time with an indication that maybe this was a possibility for a person. 

I am praying that He will drop them because I certainly do NOT want to spend a bunch of time recruiting!

God told me to tell Nathan I am also not much into debating about theological things. I did it, and he wrote back that this is exactly what women need to hear! LOL! 

I heard SLOW TOAG. 

Storytelling and Simple Steps
Listen to God, each other, friends
Obey God by acting on what He tell you
Worship and World intercession (as an overflow of our intimacy with Him)

Does that mean slow it down or just have those components? Don't know. 

Then I got some stuff about another PUMP party. 

Then, I asked about this OSU job. Love it but must not stress about grades. Next year? Do not know. 

Also about M(oving more) EL (eating less) Training. I have been OK, but I want to get lower before we go to England so I can eat PUB GRUB with abandon! 

Fear factor turned to Faith Factor for me. Freedom from fear is attainable. 

Then I just felt God saying it will all fit together perfectly, and I could just carry on as usual. I have no fear that He will make it abundantly clear. He will drop it all in our lap in due time. 

Selah!

Final verses:

"The latter glory of this house will be greater than the former," says the LORD of hosts, "and in this place I will give peace," declares the LORD of hosts. (Haggai 1:9)

I do not know what all of that means, but I certainly don't need to right now. In due time, and I am so good with that. 

1400 Post Reached in 11.4 years!

HaHa. I looked down after my book review from yesterday, and I was a nice even 1400 posts. I do not write very much on this blog because that is only an average 122.8 posts per year!

I have been more prolific in the last couple of years, but I did not write on this one very often in the early days. Most of my Trapdoor friends gave up looking at this blog because of that. I gave up on many of their blogs too because I was just too busy to check. Facebook makes it easier to check and even then, I don't check my news feed all that often so am not the greatest at following up on other people. 

I am going on a half day of prayer with two people who don't do an away one very often. It should be fun. :) 

11. Rick Steves England

It had a lot of repeat and overlap from his London book that I already read cover to cover so I did not reread the parts already covered in that book. I also didn't read the parts about the places we would not be going to on this trip (but we hope to cover them when we go to Scotland to see my places of the Wardrop clan).

I learned so much! I wish I had read it before I purchased my ticket to the Shakespeare places in Stratford-Upon-Avon because if you take a walking tour, you get a discount on the tickets! Oh well! I am not absolutely sure we will take the tour though, but it is an award winning one!

He covered in detail most of the places we are going (not all) so it was very helpful. 

Our general itinerary is as follows:

London - 4 1/2 days, and we are hitting almost all of his three and two triangle places: Westminster Abbey, Churchill War Rooms, National Gallery, National Portrait Gallery, British Library, British Museum, Tower of London, St. Paul's Cathedral, Victoria and Albert, Tate Modern (and maybe the Tate Britain), Courtauld Gallery, Buckingham Palace, Hyde Park, Changing of the Guard, The London Eye, Shakespeare's Globe, Harrods, Selfridge's, Trafalgar, Soho, and Covent Garden. And we are going to sit in the McDonald's that once was 84 Charing Cross Road and imagine Anne Bancroft and Anthony Hopkins. 

Then it is off to 

Oxford - 1/2 day to do a self-guided C.S. Lewis walking tour going inside Magdalen College and eating at the Lamb and Flag where the Inklings gathered. We also hope to stop by Blenheim Palace on the way to . . . 

Chipping Campden - 3 nights

Stratford Upon Avon - Day trip from Chipping Campden seeing all those fabulous places of the Bard! 

Cotswolds - We rented bikes for a full day of cycling through cute Cotswold villages.

Worchester Cathedral - I have a picture in an exhibition here and the main reason we are doing this trip sooner rather than later. 

Avebury - Spend one night in a vegetarian bed and breakfast in the middle of the ancient stones. We hope to get up at sunrise and snap lots of pictures! On the way to Avebury we will drive through other Cotswolds places we could not reach by bike and maybe even stop to go water skiing outside of Cirencester. 

Bath - 1/2 day to see the Roman Baths and walk by the Royal Crescent and the Circus. I have a Jane Austen walking tour that I can stream on my iPhone too. 

Stonehenge - We have inner circle access to the stones at sunset. There were only nine spots left out of thirty when I checked four months in advance and before they had even posted it on their website! SCORE! 

Highclere Castle - 1 night at the Carnarvon Arms and afternoon access to the castle the next day. We will spend the morning hiking up to Beacon Hill to have views of the castle from a high point. There are many hikes on the property that opens at 10:30 in the morning. 

Alton/Chawton - We spend two nights at St Marys Hall, a former Catholic Church converted to a bed and breakfast. It is close to the Jane Austen Museum (the home she lived in after her father died). We will tour that the next day at opening and then travel to Beachy Head to see the chalk white cliff and may come back to go to Pooh Sticks Bridge and other 100 Acre Woods places in the Ashdown Forest (it is not that far out of the way on our return).

Heathrow/Windsor - The last night we will be near the airport, check into our hotel and have that afternoon or the next morning to go to Windsor or go back into London for anything we might have missed. 

It is going to be fun, and Rick Steves helped me plan the fun! 

Monday Freewrite

I have all my attendance cards all organized this morning. I decided to do it first thing, rather than wait until after my other morning routine things. I always seem to take longer doing it during the first week of classes because of all the adds and drops that are involved. It looks like I am now down to a comfortable 58 students. It was up to 63 during the mad shuffle of adds and drops, and my Pilates I class was stuffed to the gills! So, I am glad that some dropped there.  I usually have one or two try to add after the drop date, but we will see this term. 

God's words for me this morning during my listening time were: Confident and unapologetic. I think I know what that relates to. I often have Pilates II students who have an expectation of what Pilates is all about. When they are exposed to classical Pilates, they often are shocked. This really is pure Pilates. Most of what is out there is an adaptation of the true Pilates method, but a court case decided that they could all be called Pilates regardless of whether they really follow what the founder intended. So, I need to be unapologetic about delivering pure Pilates! Pilates I students usually do not mind because they do not know any different. Pilates I students always end up having better form than Pilates II students (unless those Pilates II students did not do another Pilates class prior to classical or took it from a couple of classical Pilates instructors - then they have great form!). If they have been exposed to other than classical Pilates, it is really hard for them to unlearn those habits. I had to unlearn them, but I had to unlearn them for my certification, so my trainer was "harping" on me about my bad habits. So, I adapted, and the results are so much better if you adapt them to the correct forms! 

I am subbing for a Pilates Flow class. I told the person I am subbing for that she might be shocked at how different my teaching is compared to hers, but she was totally great with me teaching whatever. She said they might be relieved because hers is so different (she almost made it sound like hers was bizarre - lol). I really like the other Pilates instructors I have met though. Most of them combine it with Yoga, and I have had some students say that they don't want Yoga in their Pilates mix. Some like that though, but sometimes it is really hard to get the students who like the mix to do the breathing and the forms differently because some of them are opposite! 

No matter. I am praying this is a good term. I am still not 100% convinced of doing this for the long run. It really does dominate my time, and I could be developing my personal training business or teaching more Pilates privates with people. I just need to see how I feel at the end of Spring term. It will be interesting to see how I can balance it with my other obligations next year if we do our ministry starting in September. We will see!

This last weekend was super busy. I left early Friday morning to go up with Nessa and her sister, Petra, to a prayer gathering in Portland. It was fun and all day. Then I went to Salt and Straw with Barbie. Then, the leaders of the first day wanted to get to know me better. So, I went out with them for dinner and My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2. Then, we came back to our host's home and talked until about 11:15 pm. Then it was up early for the second day of prayer. We prayed until 3 pm and then came home and crashed. I unpacked and cleaned up everything I had left because of my flurry of getting out the door on Friday morning. I fell asleep really early. We did manage to watch The Amazing Race. 

Then on Sunday, we got to church early and led a Sunday School class with five people. We thought no one would come! They are an engaged group. Love it! Then, we got home and had lunch with Paul. George and Paul went shopping. I feel asleep and woke up in time to run over to Jan and Phil's to watch the Oregon State Beavers be crushed by UConn in the semi-finals of the national championship. We watched the Syracuse vs. U Washington game. OSU would have crushed both of those teams and too bad they could not have gone to the finals.

Then, we came and crashed and watched Call the Midwife, Granchester, and Selfridge. 

Big weekend, and it is a big three days. I teach eight Pilates classes Monday through Wednesday (because i am subbing for someone who went to watch the Beavers), have a Celebration of Discipline study (Nancy is leading and bringing lunch), and Dial a Book for the first time in six months. 

Then THURSDAY IS TOTALLY FREE! WOOHOO! 

BYE!

10. Black Flags: The Rise of ISIS by Joby Warrick

“The black flags will come from the East, led by mighty men, with long hair and beards, their surnames taken from their home towns.” The Hadith

This is a prophecy from a report of the words, actions, or habits of the Prophet Mohammed called The Hadith. ISIS believes they are a fulfillment of that prophecy. Thus why they have black flags for their movement.  

I read Warrick's first book, Triple Agent, over the Christmas break. Actually, I had tried to read this second one before that because I heard Warrick on the PBS Newshour in November. Here is that interview:

http://www.pbs.org/video/2365613793/

I decided to start with his first one instead, and I was mesmerized. I could not put his first book down, and this newer one is no different.

This guy gives you history, but it is no way dry or boring. He focuses on individuals within the larger story and shapes biographical vignettes that give the larger story a very human face.

Watch the PBS video, and you will see what a personable guy Warrick is. It comes through in his writing. 

Warrick tells his story without political bias. Neither Bush nor Obama comes out looking very good in this story. I knew invading Iraq was a BIG mistake. Now I know more why that was such a big mistake!

You will not be disappointed with this book. I loved it! 

Friday Freewrite Firmly Driven

I had set my alarm for 5:30 am, but I woke up at 4:24, forced myself to go back to sleep, and finally gave up and got up at 5 am. Now I am showered and making my Chai for the big day ahead.

What was just a dream last June is now become a reality as we are praying for the nations up in Portland. It should be great. I am so looking forward to it, and I am ready after a full day of rest yesterday.

Yes, I got some little things off my to do list, took a walk, etc; but I rested after my fall on Wednesday. I don't know if I said what happened in my last freewrite. I usually have to take off my shoes when I am teaching anyway. So instead of carrying them from one class to the other, I decided to leave my shoes down in the office. Not a good idea. I was coming from my successfully executed second class on Wednesday. I turned to go down the stairs, and my first step slipped forward and started tumbling down the stairs on my bum. I would have probably kept going, but I grabbed the arm rail tightly to stop my fall. Thus, I scraped my elbow and bent my arm back unnaturally. I also twisted my knee on the opposite side.

I think the best thing I could have done was to do Pilates that night so that I could unstick my body. My back did NOT get wrenched which I am very thankful for.

(Now I am thinking I already did a freewrite about this because the word "wrench" was a word I used yesterday. If you read my blog, I apologize for the repeat.)

I woke up yesterday morning OK, but I felt sore all over. They say that happens after a car accident too when you are not seriously injured. So, I laid low and just took a walk once if warmed up so that I can unstick myself.

All that to say is that I think I needed the emotional rest more than I needed the physical one. I know that I come out borderline on the Introvert/Extrovert scale, but I had serious need of "I" time yesterday. I had someone text me requesting another favor, and I just cried, "Not one more thing!" I have had a LOT of people contact and teaching at the university makes me go over my weekly people quotient more quickly!

So there you go. :) 

All that to say is that I am rested. I truly am rested. I am listening to "Soothing Worship" by Jon Thurlow, and I feel like I am syncing with the Lord well. 

It has not been 15 minutes, but my hair is drying fast, and I want to get to my time with God before I dry it. I got up to Portland with Nessa and her sister in a little over an hour, and I still need to pack my bags!

TTFN TGIF!