Poet 2: Paul Laurence Dunbar

I love this poet! So far, he is, hands down, my favorite. After the weirdness of some of Walt Whitman's poems, I feel like I have come home. Dunbar ROCKS!

Dunbar had two different kinds of poems. Some were in conventional English and some were in African-American dialect. I love, love, loved his poetry.

Dunbar was born in Dayton, Ohio in 1972. His mother was a former slave, and his father had escaped from slavery. In fact, Dunbar’s father served in the 55^th Massachusetts Infantry Regiment and the 5^th Massachusetts Colored Calvary Regiment during the Civil War. Also, he was a lifelong friend of the Wright Brothers!

He had no white blood in him which was very unusual for African-Americans coming out of slavery. He was married to Alice Moore 1898, but they separated in 1902 because he was disturbed by her lesbian affairs (as well he should have been). He died of tuberculosis 1906, but he had also gone into a downward spiral of depression and alcohol (maybe from his wife having affairs?).

Here is my favorite of his African American dialect (that I want to put on a Thanksgiving card!):

Signs of the Times

Air a-gittin' cool an' coolah, Frost a-comin' in de night, Hicka' nuts an' wa'nuts fallin', Possum keepin' out o' sight. Tu'key struttin' in de ba'nya'd, Nary a step so proud ez his; Keep on struttin', Mistah Tu'key, Yo' do' know whut time it is. Cidah press commence a-squeakin' Eatin' apples sto'ed away, Chillun swa'min' 'roun' lak ho'nets, Huntin' aigs ermung de hay. Mistah Tu'key keep on gobblin' At de geese a-flyin' souf, Oomph! dat bird do' know whut's comin'; Ef he did he'd shet his mouf. Pumpkin gittin' good an' yallah Mek me open up my eyes; Seems lak it's a-lookin' at me Jes' a-la'in' dah sayin' "Pies." Tu'key gobbler gwine 'roun' blowin', Gwine 'roun' gibbin' sass an' slack; Keep on talkin', Mistah Tu'key, You ain't seed no almanac. Fa'mer walkin' th'oo de ba'nya'd Seein' how things is comin' on, Sees ef all de fowls is fatt'nin' -- Good times comin' sho's you bo'n. Hyeahs dat tu'key gobbler braggin', Den his face break in a smile -- Nebbah min', you sassy rascal, He's gwine nab you atter while. Choppin' suet in de kitchen, Stonin' raisins in de hall, Beef a-cookin' fu' de mince meat, Spices groun' -- I smell 'em all. Look hyeah, Tu'key, stop dat gobblin', You ain' luned de sense ob feah, You ol' fool, yo' naik's in dangah, Do' you know Thanksgibbin's hyeah? (from www.PoemHunter.com)

The Seedling

AS a quiet little seedling

Lay within its darksome bed,

To itself it fell a-talking,

And this is what it said:

"I am not so very robust,

But I'll do the best I can;"

And the seedling from that moment

Its work of life began.

So it pushed a little leaflet

Up into the light of day,

To examine the surroundings

And show the rest the way.

The leaflet liked the prospect,

So it called its brother, Stem;

Then two other leaflets heard it,

And quickly followed them.

To be sure, the haste and hurry

Made the seedling sweat and pant;

But almost before it knew it

It found itself a plant.

The sunshine poured upon it,

And the clouds they gave a shower;

And the little plant kept growing

Till it found itself a flower.

Little folks, be like the seedling,

Always do the best you can;

Every child must share life's labor

Just as well as every man.

And the sun and showers will help you

Through the lonesome, struggling hours,

Till you raise to light and beauty

Virtue's fair, unfading flowers.

Paul Laurence Dunbar



And here is one more for one of my heroes!

• HARRIET BEECHER STOWE

  She told the story, and the whole world wept
  At wrongs and cruelties it had not known
  But for this fearless woman's voice alone.
  She spoke to consciences that long had slept:
  Her message, Freedom's clear reveille, swept
  From heedless hovel to complacent throne.
  Command and prophecy were in the tone,
  And from its sheath the sword of justice leapt.
  Around two peoples swelled a fiery wave,
  But both came forth transfigured from the flame.
  Blest be the hand that dared be strong to save,
  And blest be she who in our weakness came—
  Prophet and priestess! At one stroke she gave
  A race to freedom, and herself to fame.

  Paul Laurence Dunbar

  
  

  Printed from Uncle Tom's Cabin & American Culture © 2006 the University of Virginia http://utc.iath.virginia.edu/ Stephen Railton; Institute for Advanced Technology in the Humanities; Electronic Text Center Charlottesville, Virginia 1999

Body Wellness: Day 14

EATING: coffee cake, jasmine tea (at Nourieh's - what can I say? She pushes food on me); hot pastrami sandwich (Togo's), two strips of dried mango, 8 oz orange julius, two servings Beef Bourgignon with boiled potatoes, 64 oz of water

EXERCISE: blackberry picking, 1 hour walk with Kim

Body Wellness: Day 13

EATING: 1/2 cup fiber one, yogurt, blackberries; beef bourgignon with boiled potatoes, squash, brocolli, and green beans, blizzard

EXERCISE: on my feet for hours cooking French cuisine!

Poet 1: Walt Whitman

I finally finished "Song of Myself"! I brought the computer with the MP3 (too lazy to put it on my iPod) Librivox recording on it to golf. I sat in the car while the kids played, and I put the seat back and propped my feet on the dashboard, looking up at the clouds flowing by. It was quite a nice way to get through the first half (about an hour of recordings). Then, I listened to the next 1/4 while Paul played Mozart in the background. Then, I rested in bed and listened. Just like eating an elephant, one bite at a time (Too bad I can't do that for my Julia Child French cooking project - I was going to do that today, but I just didn't have the energy after only four hours of sleep. Kudos to Julie Powell who did all that cooking while working in a full-time job).

So, now I am watching this:

It is excellent! (watch online here: Walt Whitman Program

He wrote Leaves of Grass to fight the tide of Civil War. He sacrificed everything to try to force America to face its strange new self. He was a man on a mission. He was self-educated, tall, self-reliant, and somewhat arrogant. He went to New York at 21 years of age. Unbearable as a journalist and rubbed against people in the wrong way. He was not a dedicated worker.

New York was a dirty city, but Walt Whitman saw the beauty in this teaming (and sometimes stinky) metropolis! He had an "urban affection" for the unknown people. He filled his books with jottings of the people he saw, what their names were, and what they were doing. I love that! What is it that separates any of us? Wow!

Whitman was pretty licentious from all accounts. It is reflected in his earlier poems. Tons of sexual references. Ralph Waldo Emerson tried to get Whitmann to tone down the sex stuff, but Whitman would have known of it!

Whitman really felt like Leaves of Grass would prevent the Civil War by helping people to understand love and affection for each other. When it didn't pan out that way, he was devastated and felt adding to LOG was over until he went to a hosptial to find his brother. Here he took care of soldiers (estimated at 600 visits and over 100,000 patients), and he suffered for it. Yet, this inspired him to write a memorial to them all in a book of poetry called Drum Taps. This part of his poetry made me anti-war for good. The documentary combined pictures of civil war amputees with current day war amputees. It was very powerful, but I had already decided that I would be anti-war when I read Drum Taps the days before. This poem got me:

The Wound-Dresser

from http://www.bartleby.com/42/818.html

AN old man bending I come among new faces,
Years looking backward resuming in answer to children,
Come tell us old man, as from young men and maidens that love me,
(Arous’d and angry, I’d thought to beat the alarum, and urge relentless war,
But soon my fingers fail’d me, my face droop’d and I resign’d myself,	5
To sit by the wounded and soothe them, or silently watch the dead;)
Years hence of these scenes, of these furious passions, these chances,
Of unsurpass’d heroes (was one side so brave? the other was equally brave;)
Now be witness again, paint the mightiest armies of earth,
Of those armies so rapid so wondrous what saw you to tell us?	10
What stays with you latest and deepest? of curious panics,
Of hard-fought engagements or sieges tremendous what deepest remains?
2 O maidens and young men I love and that love me,
What you ask of my days those the strangest and sudden your talking recalls,
Soldier alert I arrive after a long march cover’d with sweat and dust,	15
In the nick of time I come, plunge in the fight, loudly shout in the rush of successful charge,
Enter the captur’d works—yet lo, like a swift-running river they fade,
Pass and are gone they fade—I dwell not on soldiers’ perils or soldiers’ joys
(Both I remember well—many the hardships, few the joys, yet I was content).
But in silence, in dreams’ projections,	20
While the world of gain and appearance and mirth goes on,
So soon what is over forgotten, and waves wash the imprints off the sand,
With hinged knees returning I enter the doors (while for you up there,
Whoever you are, follow without noise and be of strong heart).
Bearing the bandages, water and sponge,	25
Straight and swift to my wounded I go,
Where they lie on the ground after the battle brought in,
Where their priceless blood reddens the grass, the ground,
Or to the rows of the hospital tent, or under the roof’d hospital,
To the long rows of cots up and down each side I return,	30
To each and all one after another I draw near, not one do I miss,
An attendant follows holding a tray, he carries a refuse pail,
Soon to be fill’d with clotted rags and blood, emptied, and fill’d again.
I onward go, I stop,
With hinged knees and steady hand to dress wounds,	35
I am firm with each, the pangs are sharp yet unavoidable,
One turns to me his appealing eyes—poor boy! I never knew you,
Yet I think I could not refuse this moment to die for you, if that would save you.
3 On, on I go, (open doors of time! open hospital doors!)
The crush’d head I dress (poor crazed hand tear not the bandage away),	40
The neck of the cavalry-man with the bullet through and through I examine,
Hard the breathing rattles, quite glazed already the eye, yet life struggles hard
(Come sweet death! be persuaded O beautiful death!
In mercy come quickly).
From the stump of the arm, the amputated hand,	45
I undo the clotted lint, remove the slough, wash off the matter and blood,
Back on his pillow the soldier bends with curv’d neck and side-falling head,
His eyes are closed, his face is pale, he dares not look on the bloody stump,
And has not yet look’d on it.
I dress a wound in the side, deep, deep,	50
But a day or two more, for see the frame all wasted and sinking,
And the yellow-blue countenance see.
I dress the perforated shoulder, the foot with the bullet-wound,
Cleanse the one with a gnawing and putrid gangrene, so sickening, so offensive,
While the attendant stands behind aside me holding the tray and pail.	55
I am faithful, I do not give out,
The fractur’d thigh, the knee, the wound in the abdomen,
These and more I dress with impassive hand (yet deep in my breast a fire, a burning flame).
4 Thus in silence in dreams’ projections,
Returning, resuming, I thread my way through the hospitals,	60
The hurt and wounded I pacify with soothing hand,
I sit by the restless all the dark night, some are so young,
Some suffer so much, I recall the experience sweet and sad,
(Many a soldier’s loving arms about this neck have cross’d and rested,
Many a soldier’s kiss dwells on these bearded lips).	65

Whitman would later say that the Civil War was the center or heart of Leaves of Grass and tied it all together. He wanted to see new life come out of the Civil War, but post-war America disappointed him. He had hoped it would bring people all together, but it did not. He died in 1892.

Leaves of Grass went through seven editions starting with 95 pages and 12 poems (he made 795 copies in 1855 and only two dozen sold) to 400 pages and more than 300 poems spanning a period of 35 years. Today, millions of copies are in circulation throughout the globe.

I read a selection of poems that spanned over that length of time, and I liked his later poems more than his earlier ones. His poems on the Civil War were amazing.

American Poets

I sort of went wild and got the poetry books of seven American poets. I had started Walt Whitman at the beginning of the summer and got bogged down in the very long poem "Song of Myself" (Sound egotistical?). I want to plow through them before British Literature starts because 2009-2010 will be all things British in the Well-Educated Mind journey in order to coincide with my kids' journey. So, here are the poets I am reading in August and early September:

Walt Whitman

Paul Laurence Dunbar

Carl Sandburg

William Carlos Williams

Langston Hughes

Wystan Hugh Auden

Robert Frost

I'll save the more modern poets of . . . Plath, Strand, Rich, Pinsky, Ginsberg, Kenyon, and Dove for next summer.

I read Walt in the early morning hours, and I had a better impression. He was pretty racey for his time. The last romantic poet. I am too lazy to type any of his stuff here right now. Maybe later.

Body Wellness: Day 12

EATING:

2 Cups of Lady Grey with a little milk and sweetner (non-caloric)

2 Cups of White/Green tea pomegranate

Steal Cut Oats with smart balance and cheese
Spiced Chai

salad with broc, tomatoes, string cheese, and turkey ham, rasp. vin. dressing

string cheese

3 PM AND I AM DOING GREAT!!!!! Hold on through the munchie time. Carol! You can do it!

EXERCISE:

Hill Walk - 45 minutes with Michelle

Body Wellness: Day 11

Man, I have been really bad about keeping up!

Day 11:

Eating: 16 oz milk with whipped cream, 3 string cheeses, honey wheat berry toast with Smart BalanceWalla Walla Sweet Onion Rings (5) with honey mustard sauce, Wild Blackberry Shake with Whipped Cream, Kit Kat, salad with string cheese and turkey ham and light raspberry vineagrette dressing, orange.

Exercise: Walking in the Heirloom Rose Garden for 2 hours.

TWEM Classics: 107 out of 154 (69%)

Bolded are ones I have finished
Medieval Times (17 out of 18)

400 Confessions*+ T Augustine Fitzgerald Autobio
426 City of God+ Augustine History
731 Ecclesiastical History of the English People Bede History
1000 Beowulf* Poetry
1300 Inferno*+ Poetry
1300's Everyman Drama
1350 Sir Gawain & the Green Knight* Poetry
1386 Canterbury Tales* Chaucer Poetry
1430 The Book of Margery Kempe Autobio
1513 Prince*+ Machiavelli History
1516 Utopia* Sir Thomas More History
1564 Sonnets Shakespeare Poetry
1580 Essays+ Montaigne Autobio
1588 Life of Teresa of Avila Autobio
1588 Doctor Faustus Marlowe Drama
1592 Richard III Shakespeare Drama
1594 Midsummer's Nights Dream* Shakespeare Drama
1600 Hamlet* Shakespeare Drama

Early Modern -1600-1850 (23 out of 34)

1605 Don Quixote*+ Cervantes Penguin Novel

1607 Poems* Donne Poetry (British)

1611 Psalms KJV Poetry

1641 Meditations+ Descartes Autobio
1667 Paradise Lost*+ Milton Poetry

1666 Grace Abounding Bunyon Autobio
1669 Tartuffe Moliere Drama
1679 Pilgrim's Progress* Bunyon Novel
1682 Narrative of Captivity & Restoration(T) Rowlandson Autobio
1690 True End Civil Government Locke History
1700 Way of the World Congreve Drama
1726 Gulliver's Travels* Swift Novel
1754 History of England, V.5 Hume History
1757 Songs of Innocence and Experience by Blake/Poetry (British)
1762 Social Contract+ Rousseau History
1773 She Stoops to Conquer Goldsmith Drama
1776 Common Sense (T) Paine Dover History
1776 Decline & Fall of the Roman Empire Gibbon Wormsley(Ab) History
1777 School of Scandal Sheridan Drama

1781 Confessions* Rousseau Autobio
1791 Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin (T)
1792 Vindication of the Rights of Women+ Wollstonecraft History (British)
1798 Lyrical Ballads* Wordsworth, Cooleridge Poetry (British)
1813 Pride & Prejudice*+ Austen Novel
1819 Odes* & Poems Keats Poetry (British)
Longfellow Poetry (American)
Tennyson Poetry (British)
Whitman Poetry (American)
1835 Democracy in America* Tocqueville History
1838 Oliver Twist Dickens Novel
1847 Jane Eyre Bronte Novel
1848 The Comunist Manifesto+ Marx&Engel History
1850 The Scarlet Letter* Hawthorne Novel

Modern - 1850 to present ( 51 out of 87)

Rossetti Poetry (British)
1851 Moby-Dick/Melville/Novel
Uncle Tom's Cabin/Stowe/Novel
1854 Walden/Thoreau/Autobio
1857 Madame Bovary* Flaubert Novel
1860 Civilization of Renaissance Burckhardt History
1861 Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl Jacobs Autobio
1866 Crime & Punishment Dostoyevsky Novel

1850- 1866 * Dickinson Poetry (American)
1872 Dunbar Poetry (American)
1877 Anna Karenina* Tolstoy Novel
1878 Return of the Native Hardy Novel
1878 Sandburg Poetry (American)
1879 Doll's House Ibsen Drama
1881 Life & Times/Narrative of Frederick Douglass * T Autobio
1881 The Portrait of a Lady* James Novel
1883 Williams Poetry (American)
1884 The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn* Twain
1895 The Red Badge of Courage Crane Novel
1899 Importance of Being Earnest Wilde Drama
1901 Up From Slavery Washington Autobio
1902 Heart of Darkness* Conrad Novel
1902 Hughes Poetry (American)
1903 Souls of Black Folk DuBois History (American)
1904 Cherry Orchard Chekov Drama
1904 The Protestant Ethic & the Spirit of Capitalism Weber History (German)
1905 House of Mirth Wharton Novel
1907 Auden Poetry (American)
1908 Ecce Homo Nietzsche Autobio (German)
1913 Poems* Frost Poetry (American)
1921 Queen Victoria Stachey History
1922 Larkin Poetry (British)
1924 St. Joan Shaw Drama
1925 Mein Kampf Hitler Autobio
The Great Gatsby Fitzgerald Novel
Mrs. Dolloway Woolf Novel
The Trial* Kafka Novel
1929 An Autobiography: The Story of My Experiments with Truth Gandhi Autobio
1932-1963 Sylvia Plath Poetry (American)

(1865-1939) William Butler Yeats (Irish)
Auto of Alice B. Toklas Stein Autobio
Born 1934 Mark Strand Poetry (American)
Born 1929 Adrienne Rich Poetry (American)
1935 Murder in Cathedral T.S. Eliot Drama
1937 The Road to Wigan Pier Orwell History
1938 Our Town Wilder Drama
Born 1939 Seamus Heaney Poetry (Irish)
The New England Mind Miller History *

1940 Long Day's Journey into Night O'Neill Drama
Native Son Wright Novel
Born 1940 Robert Pinsky Poetry (American)

1942 Stranger Camus Novel
1944 No Exit Sartre Drama
1947 A Streetcar Named Desire Williams Drama
1948 Seven Story Mountain Merton Autobio
1949 1984 Orwell Novel
Death of a Salesman Miller Drama
1952 Invisible Man Ellison Novel
Waiting for Godot Beckett Drama

1955 The Great Crash Galbraith History
Surprised by Joy C.S. Lewis Autobio
1956 Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) Poetry (American)

1956 Seize the Day Bellow Novel
1959 The Longest Day Ryan History
1960 A Man for All Seasons Bolt Drama
1963 The Feminine Mystique Frieden History
1965 The Autobiography of + Malcolm X Autobio
1967 One Hundred Years of Solitude Marquez Novel
Rosencrantz & Guildenstein Stoppard Drama
1972 If on a Winter's Night a Traveler Calvino Novel
1973 Journal of Solitude Sarton Autobio
Gulag Archipelago Solzhenitsyn Autobio
1974 Roll, Jordan, Roll Genovese History

1974 Equus Shaffer Drama
1977 Born Again Colson Autobio
Song of Solomon Morrison Novel
1978 Distant Mirror Tuchman History

1978 Jan Kenyon (1947-1975) Poetry (American)
1982 Hunger of Memory Rodriguez Autobio
1985 White Noise Delillo Novel

1985 Rita Dove (1952- )Poetry (American)
1987 All the President's Men Woodward & Bernstein History
1988 Battle Cry of Freedom McPherson History
1989 Road from Coorain Conway Autobio
1990 Possession Byatt Novel

A Midwife's Tale Ballard Autobio
1992 The End of History & the Last Man Fukuyama History
1995 All Rivers Run to the Sea Wiesel Autobio

(*ITC, +D overlap, T)

ITC= Invitation to the Classics D=Denby's Great Books T = Thelma's Library

Ancients (15 out of 15)

BC
2000 Epic of Gilgamesh/Ferry/Poetry
800 Iliad (*+ T)/ Homer/Lattimore/ Poetry
800 Odyssey(*+ T) /Homer/Lattimore/Poetry
600 Greek Lyrics/ Lattimore/Poetry
458 Agamemnon(*+ T)/ Aeschylus/Drama
450 Oedipus Rex(*+ T)/ Sophocles/Drama
441 Histories/ Herodotus/ History
431 Medea/ Euripedes/ Drama
400 Birds/ (Clouds – T) /Aristophanes/ Drama
400 Peloponnesian War(*+ )/Thucydides/ History
375 Republic(*+)/ Plato/ History
330 Poetics(+)/ Aristotle/Drama
65 Odes of Horace/Poetry
AD
100 Greek Lives/Roman Lives by Plutarch

Body Wellness: Day 10

What happened to Days 7-9? Well, I got sick. So, I didn't exercise, and I didn't keep track of anything, but I didn't go crazy with my eating either.

Monday is a NEW DAY!!!! YEA!

EATING: 1/2 cup of yogurt, Fiber One, and blueberries. Chai tea with 16 oz of skim milk and LOTS of sugar (I usually use a non-caloric substitute, but I used the rest of my palm sugar for this delectable drink) with Whipped cream, 4 glassses of water, 1/2 cup mac and cheese, 3 oz of chicken goulash with 1/2 cup rice, Dairy Queen Blizzard, coffee cake, 2 glasses of water.

EXERCISE: Walked to and from my car downtown, swept kitchen floor, folded two loads of laundry, danced around room, cleaned two bathrooms. (feeling a bit better!)

On Julie and Julia: CLASS TO CRASS!

I am going to see Julie and Julia with Teala, Lisa, and Lisa's MIL. In preparation I wanted to read the two books that this movie is based on.

My Life in France by Julia Child

What a positively delightful book! Written with her grandnephew right before she passed away in 2004, this memoir recalls the move to France with her husband, Paul, that ignited her passion for cooking and gave her a life's calling! I found so many things I had in common with Julia:

1) We are/were both 6 feet 2 inches tall

2) We both married later on in life (Julia at 34. Carol at 31)

3) We both married incredibly supportive husbands who don't mind being in the background

4) We both married husbands who are/were artistic, especially in the area of photography

5) We both loved learning a new language, culture, people

6) We both love adventure

7) We both tend to be optimists and see the best in everything and everyone

8) We are/were both focused and determined and love to see a project to its end

9) We are both Southern Californians!

On the other hand Julie and Julia by Julie Powell

Oh my, enough cussing to make a sailor blush. It was a waste of my time and money. I got to p. 95 and had to put it down. Not my cup of tea. YUCK! I wrote it down as one of my books for the year because those pages were a CHORE. I would never want anyone to read this book and think I condone it though. I am embarassed to think others would think I liked it. Cynicism and crassness at its finest. Julie is the antithesis of Julia and me. It left a bad taste in my mouth, as it did in Julia Child's. Read here to find out what she thought of Julie's blog.

In all fairness, here is an interview with Julie Power that gave me a more favorable impression. We are all people in process, and I hope Julie is transformed by this whole adventure and starts cleaning up her potty-mouth:

http://www.bordersmedia.com/bookclub/powell

Body Wellness: Day 6 and Mindless Snacking/Yoga

Yesterday was a wash as far as eating was concerned. Heard a report that people who do Yoga are more apt to control their weight, not because of the calorie burn (which is minimal) but because they are more "mindful" when they are eating. They tend to not "mindlessly snack" according to a recent study (can't find the study online right now).

This totally makes sense. The issue for me is that I just start craving and not thinking in the late afternoon, especially when I have quite a few things going on and don't get a good relaxing communion time with the Lord, too many carbs early on, and not enough sleep.

That is exactly what happened yesterday. I woke up at 2 am and wasn't able to go back to sleep. So, I got up and read and didn't spend time in the Word. Then, I tried to wake myself up for the day with Teh Tariks (Malaysian tea with sweetened condensed milk that is pulled ("tarik" in Malay)). Then, I was too full for a good breakfast and ran out the door to take the kids to tennis and do dial-a-book, and run errands while they helped Jake with the wood chip pile at his house. I didn't get to eating until 3:30. Up until that time, I mindlessly snacked, but I ate from 3:30 until I went to the club at 6:30!

Today is a NEW day, and I am looking at joining the Gentle Yoga class. By the way, they don't put any Eastern mysticism stuff in the Yoga class at the club. So, it isn't weird like they used to be.

EATING: 16 oz skim milk, 2 TB palm sugar (for 32 oz of tea/milk/spices), whipped cream.

EXERCISE: walk 30 minutes during Golf class

Body Wellness: Day 5

FOOD: tea and milk (1/2 cup), sweetened with sweetened condensed milk. 16 oz milk, 8 oz raspberry lemonade, steak, 8 Jolly Ranchers, 3 oz chocolate chip cookie, 1 TB peanut butter with raisins, .375 ounce dark chocolate, blueberry sip (1 cup yogurt, 1 cup blueberries), 3 cups, pea soup

UGH. Did not keep track today due to lack of sleep last night. NOT a good day

EXERCISE: 30 minutes walk around golf course, 65 minutes of elliptical.

Body Wellness: Day 4

I haven't weighed myself in probably 2 1/2 months. I have been trying to "feel" where I am weight-wise rather than being married to the scale. Being tall, I often don't feel like I have gained anything, but I will sometimes get on the scale and be sadly mistaken. I guessed I was a certain weight this morning and took the plunge and stepped on the scale. I was 1/2 pound LESS than what I thought. So, I am making progress in feeling that weight. I am only 5 lbs over too. So, my plan is working!

FOOD

string cheese, ice strawberry-vanilla green tea with 2 tsp sugar, 16 oz skim milk, whipped cream, string cheese, steak, baked potato with 2 tsp Smart Balance, 1 cup broccoli, 100 calorie dark chocolate bar, 1 Jolly Rancher candy.

EXERCISE

40 minute hospital hill walk with Rebekah, 65 minutes elliptical, 15 minutes weights, sit-ups.

Body Wellness: Day 3

FOOD: 12 oz of spiced chai with whipped cream, 16 oz skim milk, poached egg on 1/2 cin. raisin bagel, string cheese, 1 cup water, 1/2 cups each of blueberries, non-fat yogurt, Fiber One, 2 cups of water, 1 Jolly Ranger candy, sauteed squash, broccoli, and onions, grilled cheese sandwich, 4 Jolly Ranchers, 3/4 cup french vanilla ice cream with whipped cream and 1 tsp caramal sauce

EXERCISE: Bicycling during errands to Post office, Bi-Mart, Carmike Cinema and back home (about 1 1/2 hours)

Body Wellness: Day 2 and Muse

So far:

Eating: 1 cup water, 2 cups skim milk, 1/2 cup each of yogurt, blueberries, and Fiber One, 1 cup water, 16 oz chai frost with whipped cream, turkey and string cheese sandwich on Honey Wheat Berry bread, 3 oz chocolate chip cookie. 3 cups water. 100 calorie dark chocolate, Shrimp Mediterranean 1/2 bowl, 2 cups water.

Exercise: 40 minute walk up hospital hill

Muse: After this post, I picked up My Life in France by Julia Child. As I was walking with the book, I thought. I am "voracious." Everything I do is voracious. I am a voracious reader, voracious learner, voracious to know and understand. I laughed out loud when I sat down at that moment and read these lines:

"But I had so much more to learn, not only about cooking, but about shopping and eating and all the many new (to me) foods. I hungered for more information" (pp. 39-40).

Julia Child and I are ONE! She was voracious too! I can never stop learning. I want to learn more of God (for He is unfathomable, and there is ALWAYS something to learn of His ways), of art, of culture, of language, of literature, of philosophy, of flowers (Lorraine exclaimed yesterday, "Carol, you amaze me at how much you know and want to know!" because I was going to take a picture and go home and find out what flowers were on her table), of people. I suppose that is why I loved living overseas so much. I loved learning about the culture and cracking the code. Julia Child was learning the language, learning the cuisine, creating community in Paris by "cracking the code" of that culture. I think I have a new soulmate!

Perhaps all tall women are voracious (Julia Child was the same height at 6 feet 2 inches tall).

vo•ra•cious \vȯ-ˈrā-shəs, və-\ adjective

[Latin vorac-, vorax, from vorare to devour; akin to Old English ācweorran to guzzle, Latin gurges whirlpool, Greek bibrōskein to devour]

(1635)

1 : having a huge appetite : ravenous

2 : excessively eager : insatiable 〈a voracious reader〉

Another similar word to describe me: enthusiastic

en•thu•si•asm \in-ˈthü-zē-ˌa-zəm, en-, also -ˈthyü-\ noun

[Greek enthousiasmos, from enthousiazein to be inspired, irregular from entheos inspired, from en- + theos god]

(1603)

1 a : belief in special revelations of the Holy Spirit

b : religious fanaticism

2 a : strong excitement of feeling : ardor

b : something inspiring zeal or fervor

synonymy see passion

That is why the people in this video (Topsail Island Retreat, April 2007) couldn't accept this assessment about me from a silly (and ancient) personality test we all took:

Body Wellness: Day 1

I have not posted about this for a LONG time. There has been more on the Well-Watered Soul lately and much on the Well-Educated Mind over the last year. Interesting that both of these can be very sedentary occupations! So, I try to combine my wellness of body with these two passions by taking long prayer walks with my Face to Face: Praying the Scriptures for Intimate Worship book in hand or listening to the Bible on my Kindle as I walk. I also read/listen to my classics while I work out on the elliptical and lift weights. It is the greatest combination of pleasure and pain!!!! (Really, working out is no longer a pain for me. It is SO important for me in staving off those menopausal hot flashes!)

Alas, I am doing really well in the "wellness of body" area, but I would like to proclaim the 31 days of August as the "pull in my eating" month. All this birthday celebrating has involved eating a ton: the Mexican cruise, parties, meals out, my birthday tea. All fun, but it is time to reign it in.

I am going to log what I eat here. I don't know if I will count calories, but I will log. I won't break it into breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc. Too much work for a busy gal like me (or is it myself?). I will write it in a "stream of consciousness" style like Joyce and Faulkner. LOL.

PLEASE NOTE: If you read this and think I am not eating enough, you are probably wrong. People eat too much. That is why most of America is overweight. Whenever I post what I am eating, someone eventually says, "Are you sure you are eating enough, Carol?" UGH!

For their benefit, I go through the trouble of counting it all out (I have been a nutritionist for 28 years (B.S. Foods and Nutrition 1981), for heaven's sake, I can tell you the approximate calories of almost anything I am eating in my sleep!), and it is ALWAYS enough (unless I am fasting for spiritual reasons, which is on a regular basis).

Trust me, I will NEVER starve myself. I love food too much to do that. I eat everything (Sorry, but there are some people who eat the weirdest things in the name of "health"!). I just want to maintain my weight even though I am 50. So, I watch my calories. I don't diet. So, don't read this and worry, OK? I will not starve on this 31 day journey.

So, here goes:

August 1: 16 oz. skim milk with light whipped cream, 2 tsp. peanut butter, 1 slice honey wheat, 1 string cheese, 1 cup pork fried rice with brocolli, onions, and carrots. 3 cups water, 1/2 cup each of non-fat, plain yogurt; blueberries, and Fiber One Cereal, 2 servings of Steel cut oats, 1/2 cup raisins, 1 TB Smart Balance, 1 TB honey, 1 string cheese, 100 calorie dark chocolate bar. (just for the record that is about 1500 calories off the top of my head)

Exercise was NILL. I had a rest and read day!

In Your Presence

I do not know what is happening with me. There is this amazing connection that I am having with God right now.

My dream has always been to see a 24/7/365 kind of relationship with God (You - for I write this blog to You and for You). I remember reading Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence in the early 80's and felt like I had a new role-model. I specifically remember leaving Gill Coliseum on the OSU Campus one night, being tilted over by some strange encounter with Diane's guy friend, Chris. I cried out to You with the desire to not let strange encounters with others derail me from Your precious presence. It became my passion and something in which to strive because "In Your presence is fullness of joy and pleasures forever" (Psalm 16:11). Yet, being the emotional self that I am, it has always been difficult. Those bi-monthly extended times of prayer helped to recalibrate me, but by the end of the sixty days, I was undone again. Oh, to be undone only by God because of His overwhelming presence. That is what I yearned for more than anything.

Later in my journey, I read excerpts from Frank Laubach's (1884-1970) Letters by a Modern Mystic where he resolved: "I would succeed better this year with my experiment of filling every minute full of the thought of God than I succeeded last year. And I added another resolve -- to be as wide open toward people and their need as I am toward God. Window open outward as well as upward." 

Somehow, Frank's effort seemed so realistic with little increments of growth year by year. He also did not live a monastic existence as Brother Lawrence did. His inward and outward growth were simultaneous. I wanted that moment by moment experience of God in the midst of the daily grind of life with "tilting people."

The life change that we made over three years ago (June 16, 2006 was our moment of deliverance from a very unhealthy situation) seems to have contributed to me not going so far into the quicksand that I can't look up. I no longer stare into space at the dinner table. I'm there with my family in everything. There is no "back burner" stress stemming from the "crazy-makers" that permeated my past spiritual environment. I don't have to sludge through mud to get to Your presence anymore. No more quicksand, miry clay. You've set my feet upon a rock and made my footsteps firm (Psalm 40:1-3). The path to Your presence is less obstructed these days.

Even though I did a lot of grieving from 2006-2008, the deaths did more to stabilize me than knock me off Your rock. In October of 2006, Bruce was diagnosed with melanoma. In March 2007, my aunt fell, went into a coma, and died. In May, my cousin was murdered in a drug-related incident. In August, it became apparent that my mom was slipping away, and I cared for her all of November 2007 until she slid into heaven. Then, friends died (Jeanne, Bruce, and Jane) and parents of friends died. Last of all and probably most difficult because of his spiritual state, my brother died a lonely, alcohol-related death on the floor of his mobile home. Although I may not have realized it at the time, I was in deep mourning for over a year because my focus was more outward in the care of my mom and care for my friends who lost their spouse or parent. This didn't tilt me. Something about death puts it all in perspective, and I can concur with Solomon on this one:

"It is better to go to the house of mourning,

than to go to the house of feasting:

for that is the end of all men;

and the living will lay it to his heart.

Sorrow is better than laughter:

for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.

The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning;

but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth" (Eccl. 7:2-4)

So, my mourning is over. The fruit of the last three years has been more 24/7/365 than I have ever known in my life. I am 50. I am thankful. I am humbled. I am at peace. I am surrounded by so much love.

I am undone.

What Nancy Wants to Be Famous For . . .

I have been posting videos of Nancy's famous "car baking" from two years ago (since it is so hot here this week), but she told me she would rather be famous for this, and I tend to agree that this is infinitely more eternal in reward!

Undone

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by God's presence right now. I have been in a sense of awe since I came back from the club.

Man - what will heaven be like?

Waiting on Him

I am spending a day in prayer today and journaling here and in my "My Lord and Me" notebook. I am soaking in the Lord right now and in the "Realizing His presence" stage of my time.

Divide the day into three parts: waiting on the Lord, prayer for others, and prayer for yourself.

As you wait on the Lord, don’t hurry. You will miss the point if you look for some mystical or ecstatic experience. Just seek the Lord, waiting on Him. Isaiah 40:31 promises that those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. Psalm 27:14 is one of dozens of verses which mention waiting on Him. In Psalm 62:5 David says, “My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him.”

Wait on God first to realize His presence. Read through a passage such as Psalm 139, grasping the truth of His presence with you as you read each verse. Ponder the impossibility of being anywhere in the universe where He is not. Often we are like Jacob when he said, “Surely the Lord is in this place; and I was not aware of it” (Genesis 28:16). ("How to Spend a Day in Prayer" by Lorne Sanny).

Expecting wonderful things from Him today!!!!!

"Heal The World"

I honestly was not one who even listened to any of Michael Jackson's 80's music (I mean you listened to it if you had hearing because it was piped everywhere, but I never intentionally listened to it), but this is a beautiful song. So, I am posting it!

Here is the beautfiul video that goes along with it: "Heal the World"

"Heal The World"

There's A Place In

Your Heart

And I Know That It Is Love

And This Place Could

Be Much

Brighter Than Tomorrow

And If You Really Try

You'll Find There's No Need

To Cry

In This Place You'll Feel

There's No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are Ways

To Get There

If You Care Enough

For The Living

Make A Little Space

Make A Better Place...

Heal The World

Make It A Better Place

For You And For Me

And The Entire Human Race

There Are People Dying

If You Care Enough

For The Living

Make A Better Place

For You And For Me

If You Want To Know Why

There's A Love That

Cannot Lie

Love Is Strong

It Only Cares For

Joyful Giving

If We Try

We Shall See

In This Bliss

We Cannot Feel

Fear Or Dread

We Stop Existing And

Start Living

Then It Feels That Always

Love's Enough For

Us Growing

So Make A Better World

Make A Better World...

Heal The World

Make It A Better Place

For You And For Me

And The Entire Human Race

There Are People Dying

If You Care Enough

For The Living

Make A Better Place

For You And For Me

And The Dream We Were

Conceived In

Will Reveal A Joyful Face

And The World We

Once Believed In

Will Shine Again In Grace

Then Why Do We Keep

Strangling Life

Wound This Earth

Crucify Its Soul

Though It's Plain To See

This World Is Heavenly

Be God's Glow

We Could Fly So High

Let Our Spirits Never Die

In My Heart

I Feel You Are All

My Brothers

Create A World With

No Fear

Together We'll Cry

Happy Tears

See The Nations Turn

Their Swords

Into Plowshares

We Could Really Get There

If You Cared Enough

For The Living

Make A Little Space

To Make A Better Place...

Heal The World

Make It A Better Place

For You And For Me

And The Entire Human Race

There Are People Dying

If You Care Enough

For The Living

Make A Better Place

For You And For Me

Heal The World

Make It A Better Place

For You And For Me

And The Entire Human Race

There Are People Dying

If You Care Enough

For The Living

Make A Better Place

For You And For Me

Heal The World

Make It A Better Place

For You And For Me

And The Entire Human Race

There Are People Dying

If You Care Enough

For The Living

Make A Better Place

For You And For Me

There Are People Dying

If You Care Enough

For The Living

Make A Better Place

For You And For Me

There Are People Dying

If You Care Enough

For The Living

Make A Better Place

For You And For Me

You And For Me

You And For Me

You And For Me

You And For Me

You And For Me

You And For Me

You And For Me

You And For Me

You And For Me

You And For Me

I Hope You Dance . . .

This song could possibly be in my top ten. Thinking about it before Hannah's wedding. Thinking how I have a picture of her dancing with Phil at MY wedding!

Love the words . . .

time, a wheel in constant motion

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you dance
I pray you're dancing
I hope you dance
I pray you're dancing

I hope you dance.

Tuesday Musings

Musings - "Thought and thinking are mental forms and processes, respectively ("thought" is both)."

Just going to set the timer and write for a while. Maybe 15 minutes: Here I go:

I slept in until 7:45 this morning. I had such a productive day yesterday. I just know when day is going to be productive. Something hormonal courses through my veins, and it is almost compulsive. I figure I need to grab that and run with it while it is there. Good thing I did because it was there yesterday day and gone today!

My house is in pretty good shape on the inside. I am not touching the garage though, and maybe I should. Then I would know where things are in there, but I feel like it is more George's territory, and I don't want to insult him by cleaning up "his" garage. :)

The thing I always put off is the filing. So, I decided to just attack it. I put my iPod on with Baroque music, and I plugged along until I was finished. I decided that I would not fire up the computer until it was done. Finished in no time. Makes me wonder why I don't just do it as I go along or have a weekly time where I file for fifteen minutes. How about "Filing Friday for Fifteen" I can call it 4-F! Laughing out Loud! Yes, "time for 4-F." I'm there!

I also cleaned both bathrooms, reorganized the linen closet, did four loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, and culled out all those records we got from Jan W. (why did we do that anyway?).

In the process, I listened to The City of God for all the work that didn't require reading (i.e. filing). So, I have less than 200 pages to go!

Lisa even took my kids to tennis and brought them home. Oh, she even got me milk! Man. What a great friend!

Then, on top of all of this, my kids and George went to video class for three hours. So, I took a walk and had time to myself.

Monday was awesome. Now, I am just sitting here for Tuesday. I sort of overdid it on my back too. So, I can't do the labor stuff today (but the house is clean anyway). I am going to walk with Rebekah at 10 am and take my kids (and Jake) to tennis at 12 and drawing at 1:30. I think I will go lift and do cardio while my kids are in drawing since that is a great time of day at the club. I can read there without a bunch of noise (those raquetball players are loud and annoying) in the background.

I am really enjoying The City of God. I can see why people like Augustine so much now. Confessions didn't really convince me, but this book has convinced me. He is great. I am reading an abridged version, but i have the unabridged on my Kindle. So, I do read beyond the abridged sometimes. After I am done with TWEM, I will read the unabridged. It is good in the abridged though because it has summaries of the chapters it skips.

Hasn't it been fifteen minutes yet? I am ready to be done with this and go on to other things. I didn't watch the clock to see when I started.

Oh well, I am done anyway.

The Quiet Takes My Breath Away

Even though my kids have their "domain" in the basement, and they are pretty quiet kids, there is something so very soothing about having nobody here right now. George (the sweetheart) is taking his lunch break to take them to the orthodontist and on an errand. So, I am here for a bit by myself in the quietness of the morning.

I love it.