Sunday Freewrite Fifteen

I just got back from the 8:15am service at church. I prayed again. I didn't think I would cry like I usually do during praying in front of the church, but this time I did it during the announcement about Beth L's talk on Christ and the Resurrection. I love that woman. So I cry when I talk about people I love using their gifts for the glory of God. So you go, GIRL!

Mike gave a sermon on politics that was so good. He is brave. We have quite a divide in our church on that score, and I stay out of it. But people are very respectful about it even with the wide variety of views in our body. The Kingdom of God is my allegiance.

I got some really encouraging texts from two people. One was a person I just met with for spiritual direction, and we prayed over some big things, and then some miraculous things happened last night. I woke up to a very long text that came in after I had fallen asleep. YAY GOD. Another came in while I was at church about a church change for a leader in town that has been a long time coming. She was so sweet that she wanted me to know before I would hear it through the rumor mill. Two women I love. Serving Jesus. I love my life.

I love this Moment by Moment book! I got to Jesus' baptism, and I usually really love the questions, but after the first couple I wrote, "Weird questions." One was, "What does my baptismal identity mean to me?" So I figured it was a Catholic thing (first thing in this book that even had a hint of that). I looked it up, and this is when they say you are a child of God and in the church. But then I let God take me on from that, and He reminded me of my "identity name" in the sense that my Kingdom Community would define it. And I know mine is "Boldly Beloved." One of the questions was "How do I experience temptations to ignore or compromise my personal and Christian identity? What has been the fruit of my struggles to live in a way that is true to my identity?" I immediately thought about the curses that were pronounced on me at the end of December. That this one person does not like my boldness (their term was my "dominant, Type A personality" that is distasteful to them). I wrote in my journal, "I am not going to change who I am and who God made me to be because one person doesn't like who I am." (Not to mention that I say very little in gatherings when that person is there because I know they are really critical of me.) God gave me this identity name years ago, and I think I have lived into that name. I don't think I am naturally this way! I am a Boldly Beloved Child of God. That is the name he has given me, and I have had to get over my fears of rejection to be that. I am not that in an obnoxious or neurotic way. I am who I am, and if you reject that part of me, you are rejecting the part of me that is a gift from God.

I live for an audience of One.

So I don't think they are bad or weird questions anymore. In fact, I brought this reinvigorated "boldly belovedness" to my prayer this morning at church.

YIPPEE FOR I AM FREE!