If This Bird Could Talk, What Would It Say?

This is from the Friday Freewrite by Julie Bogart at Bravewriter:


http://blog.bravewriter.com/2018/03/30/friday-freewrite-talking-bird/

So here goes. Just for fun. I will just do a 10 minute one this morning. 

This is the bird talking:

The sunrise was brilliant this morning, and it got my heart to singing praise to God for the dawn of a new day. I see those people inside their houses with the lights on. They are busily rushing here and there getting ready for their work day. I am just looking at the sunrise. Why will they not look up and out the window at this glorious display of God's brilliance right out their window? It would really be great if they would even open the window and hear me singing my song! Oh those humans, they just do not look UP, and they "labor and spin" about all sorts of things. Oh, there is mother yelling at her kids at the breakfast bar. Barking orders like a drill sergeant. She really needs to look outside.

Oh well, I will just fly. The Oregon rain has cleared and I am soaring, soaring, soaring through the blue sky from one tree to the next. Oh, the brilliance of Oregon in the spring! Look at that ornamental cherry tree at the H's house! It is a little later than last year, but it was worth the wait to see it popping with pink!

I know there are some people sneezing in this sort of season, and it is a shame that they cannot come out and walk because of their allergies. I am so glad that birds like me do not get allergies like some people do.

Oh I am singing, singing, singing. It is a new day. In fact, it is not just any new day but Good Friday. The rooster crowed and Peter wept, and I will sing because it is Friday but Sunday is coming. The dawn of a new day and era.

I wonder what happened to that turkey that was in this neighborhood making all that noise for months on end. He/She seems to have disappeared. I am sure the neighbors here are so happy to see that bird gone. My song is so much more melodic. That bird was annoying to all of the birds in the neighborhood.

I know this is Friday so that tall lady at 910 is going to be coming out in the afternoon and bringing bread to another neighbor. There are some new people on the block she has not brought bread to these days. I wonder if she will bring more than one loaf. Maybe she will bring bread to the lady who lost her husband about 6 weeks ago.

Well, I must be flying on to other places beyond this neighborhood. A birds work is never done. Have a wonderful Good Friday one and all. Remember: IT IS FRIDAY BUT SUNDAY IS COMING!

I will be tweeting again very soon. 

10. In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership by Nouwen

This is a simple book but powerful. Nouwen looks at the three temptations presented to Christ and likens them to the temptations we face as leaders and their remedies:

TEMPTATION: To be Relevant
QUESTION: Do you love me? (from John 21)
DISCIPLINE: Contemplative Prayer

TEMPTATION: To be Spectacular
TASK: Feed My Sheep
DISCIPLINE: Confession and Forgiveness

TEMPTATION: To be Powerful
CHALLENGE: Somebody Else Will Take You
DISCIPLINE: Theological Reflection (Which means "thinking with the mind of Christ. Theology's original meaning was "union with God in prayer.") 

It was a quick but good read. 

9. The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis

Another fabulous read doing it with the Renovare Book Club. An expert on C.S. Lewis is guiding us through it with a Spiritual Formation lens. It has been really good! 

Screwtape clarifies the Enemy's intent:
   "Of course I know that the Enemy also wants to detach men from themselves, but in a different way. Remember always, that He really likes the little vermin, and sets an absurd value on the distinctness of every one of them. When He talks of their losing their selves, He only means abandoning the clamour of self-will; once they have done that, He really gives them back all their personality, and boast (I am afraid, sincerely) that when they are wholly His they will be more themselves than ever. Hence, while He is delighted to see them sacrificing even their innocent wills to His, He hates to see them drifting away from their nature for any other reason. And we should always encourage them to do so.

Another good quote:

"The great thing is to prevent his doing anything. As long as he does not convert it into action, it does not matter how much he thinks about this new repentance. Let the little brute wallow in it. Let him, if he has any bent that way, write a book about it; that is often an excellent way of sterilizing the seeds which the Enemy plants in a human soul. Let him do anything but act. No amount of piety in his imagination and affections will harm us if we can keep it out of his will. As one of the humans has said, active habits are strengthened by repetition but passive ones are weakened. The more often he feels without acting, the less he will be able to ever to  act, and, in the long run, the less he will be able to feel."

Freewrite to Freedom Fifteen

Yesterday morning was great. Here is what I wrote to my "Terrific Ten" Prayer Team (Ten friends who are so committed to praying for me that I cry. It is a mixture of my hubby, college best friend, four women who graduated from our training, three local buddies (one of whom also graduated from our training), and a woman I used to mentor): 

This morning was so lovely. I met with a girl going overseas. She had listened to talks by my friends, and when she contacted them, they referred her to me. I sat with this lovely woman and listened to her doubts about hearing the voice of God, her second guessing, her fears, her false narratives, and then we went to prayer; creating space for her to just listen, recording the journey so she can see God's pattern, unique to her. 

God gives perfect calm going into these times for I know he always shows up. I just go with no expectation of how he will speak or how he will move: but he always does.. He gave her such strong pictures of Himself - smashing the false narratives, gently leading her beside quiet waters. And he even gave her words regarding her belovedness and an identity name. Today was the beginning of something so beautiful for her. There is no doubt that there is a God. Another God miracle on the crying couch. Heaven touching earth. I am in awe.

At the end, I gave her a copy of my Renovare Institute monthly assignment on hearing God's voice (if you want a copy I could send it to you) and a little handout on examen prayer  that will help her in the upcoming cross-cultural move.

As usual, as the hours have passed I have become more and more pensive. I cannot explain it, but this happens to me sometimes after sweet breakthroughs with people. I am listening to Elevation Worship (does anyone else just love them?), but I am still pensive. That is not necessarily bad. 

I would just appreciate prayer. I cannot even explain it. Just feel like crying pensive tears. A breakthrough for me is on the way. I just know it. So I would appreciate prayer.

Pushing the button of vulnerability. 

I got such a sweet response back from one of the friends:

Thank you for sharing this… I will be praying for her, and for you too! What a powerful encounter… My first thought when I read it was I completely resonate… After times of intense and exciting breakthrough I often go through a similar time of “valley” I never know if it is good/bad/otherwise but definitely a pattern I know from the inside… but when I read your account my mind thought of Jesus and his encounter with the woman with bleeding who received healing when touching His hem…. “I felt power go out from me…” I wonder if Jesus experienced similar times of depletion (?) or as you put it pensiveness after times of great encounter? Just something I’m thinking about. I’d love a copy of the assignment you mentioned and of course will pray for you to be able to rest and restore after giving out to this young lady.

I had just meditated on the story of the women who touches Jesus' robe the day before. I think I was a bit depleted. The good news is, I didn't turn to overeating or watching TV to avoid the pensiveness. I just let God minister to me in my pensiveness. This is huge for me. I think it would have been different had my friend picked me up for lunch right after like we had planned, but she had the death of a friend. I think I was so looking forward to some face-to-face connection with her and debriefing with her (of course not giving any details of the encounter with this woman), and I didn't get that. I use my time wisely by reviewing some reading and writing my academic assignment for Renovaré Institute, but then night came, and I felt so pensive. It was really good though. I was vulnerable, and my besties responded with promises of prayer, and I think it really did lift. I also got a sweet response from one of the fellow members in my Renovaré Cohort who said he was praying Proverbs 11:25 for me:

A generous person will prosper;

whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

Then I wrote the young woman and said, "God did a good thing today." And she replied, "Yes, definitely. A lot of confirmation. :)"  

I love my life. It all was wrapped up in a big bow at bedtime. I woke up this morning so refreshed and alive Proverbs 11:25 style, and it followed with two fast-paced Pilates classes. I had such good classes this term. They were really life-giving for me and many are returning for next term. I love this age group. (I did have one 60 year old faculty member that was delightful too.)

Tonight feels so lovely. :) 

 

8. Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God by Dallas Willard

I thought I had already written a review of this, but I don't think I did! This is my second time through. This is an updated version of the original that was called In Search of Guidance. I think this is THE best book on hearing God's voice. This is one to give to people who doubt that you can hear Him. Willard gives a scriptural base for his thesis. It is a great book. The updating and expanding did not make it too different from the original. The exercises written by Jan Johnson were nice, but I didn't find the outstanding. I also have the DVD series by the same title, and I realized I never finished it. I may do that tonight! 

Having a conversational relationship with God is the bomb! I highly recommend it! TTFN! 

7. The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom

I read this again for the Renovaré Book Club. It is great! 

Here is a link to my previous read in 2014 after I went to her home in Holland:

http://carolhomeschool2.blogspot.com/2014/12/48-hiding-place-by-corrie-ten-boom.html

Here is a link to ALL of my pictures from that visit:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/52364318@N00/albums/72157644976746148

Freewrite Fifteen - Been Too Long

I have not posted here since February 17 and have not done a freewrite since February 10. That is a whole month! So, this is a FREE SATURDAY, and my sleepy men will be in bed for a while. YAY! 

OK, I love Alexa. OK, everyone thinks Amazon is taking over the world. I still think they are not terrible like Walmart (read Big Box Swindle if you don't believe they are), and they are going everywhere, but I find these Alexa really wonderful for worship. I listen to music, and then I have made a Praise and Worship Playlist, and I love, love, love it. I am not one to make the efforts to look for music or even buy it (I have a $1 digital credit from Amazon right now and have to think of a song to buy - decisions, decisions). So, I can be having my time with God and a song will come to mind, and I ask her to play it for me during my time with Him. Worship has been great. 

Speaking of worship. We interceded seriously for Syria on Thursday night, and one of the guys broke into spontaneous song, and there was such hearty oneness as we sang. AND, the next day, 13 aid trucks made it into Damascus after many attempts having failed. I love this group in so many ways, and their commitment to pray for the world warms my heart. When we pray for the world, we have to repent of our "first world problems" that trip us up all the time. We could be in Syria right now wondering if a bomb was going to drop or in a hot refugee camp on the border. We must be thankful. We must care and pray. One of us will be going to one of those camps in the next year and living near there to provide medical care. We must be the change we want to see in this world. 

So we pray. 

I have not done a freewrite about my time in Sumas, Washington. First of all, YAY, I drove up there in snow, ice, traffic, and I made it! YAY! It was calming to have the recordings of the guides for all the weeks of the Online Retreat. It was so good to review all the things that I learned on the three months journey with the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. I loved that. 

The residency was good. I made deeper connection with a few more people, and learned to not be afraid of one of them. They are a nice group of people. The content is very basic, but the cumulative effect of the full curriculum is very powerful. It is a lovely review of all I learned at the Navigator Summer Training Program at Multnomah School of the Bible in 1981. I like my new small group, and I can tell we are already going to get deeper more quickly than my other group that took a while to click but ended up being really nice. This group is pretty vulnerable and older. (I was the oldest person in the last one.) They are so different and both lovely. I love the sincerity of the people in the whole cohort, and the leaders have great hearts. This residency was much better, but I never know what to say when people want me to tell everyone in the group what we learned. I liked that we didn't have to speak into microphones for this one, and I liked the setting so much better. There were great trails, and there were no statues to other gods at this retreat center. That made it much easier for me to enjoy and focus. 

I wrote a poem, and I will post it here if I get up the nerve. I learned that Jesus is with me even when I feel very insecure. I had too high of expectations for this group of people, and now I have adjusted them. It seems like the more I adjust them, the better it is. It is filled with many introverts. I am an introvert who has been trained to be outgoing and inquisitive. I am so thankful for my parents in that regard. One woman really helped me understand the dynamics that go on when many people in leadership get together. That was really helpful for me to understand. :) 

So, I am done with my fifteen. Now on to my prayer of examen. 

A Healthy Two

When Twos are healthy and in balance, they really are loving, helpful, generous, and considerate. People are drawn to them like bees to honey. Healthy Twos warm others in the glow of their hearts. They enliven others with their appreciation and attention, helping people to see positive qualities in themselves that they had not previously recognized. In short, healthy Twos are the embodiment of “the good parent” that everyone wishes they had: someone who sees them as they are, understands them with immense compassion, helps and encourages with infinite patience, and is always willing to lend a hand—while knowing precisely how and when to let go. Healthy Twos open our hearts because theirs are already so open and they show us the way to be more deeply and richly human.

Ignatian Retreat - Evaluation Questions

This Ignatian Adventure has been the greatest thing about the last three months. It is not part of the Renovaré Institute, but the Prayer of Examen is (we read A Simple Life-Changing Prayer by Manny), and it led me to do this retreat. 

Here is a summary of what the Spiritual Exercises are all about:

1. Encounter the living God and God’s presence in creation, their personal life stories and current life circumstances;

2. Better discern their deepest desires to understand God’s call and presence in their lives and in the world; and

3. Become Contemplatives in Action; experiencing and grasping more deeply the Ignatian vision of Finding God in All Things.

I felt I needed to let God lead me through it rather than go through the predetermined format of the liturgical year. (I also wanted it to line up with what our Kingdom Community is meditating on throughout the week.) Most SEEL (Spiritual Exercises in Everyday Life) are formatted around our busy lives. One book I have says that it is about 30-45 minutes a day of focused prayer time; and because I have been given the sleepless elite gene, I decided to steward it well by giving my mornings to more extended times of prayer through these exercises. So, I focused on the grace for the week by listening to the great online retreat recordings that I had loaded on to my iPhone and played through my Echo every morning as I made my tea. 

Ignatius was big on flexibility. There is the 30 day retreat (20th Annotation) where one goes to a retreat center and goes through all the exercises in that period of time. This is very expensive ($4195), and the closest one for me is 10 hours away in Los Altos, California. I wish I could do it someday though, but the one in 2018 is while we are in France.

There are many nine-month programs (19th Annotation according to Ignatius). My friend is in one in Portland where she has assignments each day for 30 minutes and then goes to a retreat center one Saturday morning a month. She also meets with a spiritual director ($445 but not sure if it includes the spiritual director meeting). 

I evaluated much of this with my spiritual director, and it was so great. She is trained in leading someone through the Spiritual Exercises, and I love her insights.

One question from the reflection week of the retreat was where I wanted to focus in this freewrite:

Did I experience conflicts, difficult times, differently because of how I placed them in the context of being with and in Jesus during this retreat?

Absolutely, positively YES! I can honestly say that this was the BEST thing about the retreat for me. I found myself bringing Jesus into these difficulties in real time. 

Often, when things are difficult, I pretty quickly turn to the Lord after the conflict, but during the retreat I found myself sensing his presence as it occurred. He gave me such grace to handle three difficult situations between December 23 and January 14 as they were occurring. It was really cool. So, I am grateful for the real time engagement with Jesus during it, and all three of them ended up with such peace and resolve. Two involved me engaging head on and getting apologies that I did not expect, but the third, I felt God saying to let it go and move on and let George handle things from here on out, and we got an apology for that one too! So, amazing! 

So, I am sold on these exercises for everyone! I heartily recommend it. I don't know if I would ever do the 30 day retreat because I don't think I could be away from George for all that time! Plus, it is very expensive, but maybe I could do an abbreviated 8 day one or something like that. 

Well, I am off to do other things. 

Shepherd Me, O God

Refrain
Shepherd me, O God, beyond my wants,
beyond my fears, from death into life.

1. God is my shepherd, so nothing I shall want,
I rest in the meadows of faithfulness and love,
I walk by the quiet waters of peace.

2. Gently you raise me and heal my weary soul,
you lead me by pathways of righteousness and truth,
my spirit shall sing the music of your Name.

3. Though I should wander the valley of death,
I fear no evil, for you are at my side,
your rod and your staff, my comfort and my hope.

4. You have set me a banquet of love in the face of hatred,
crowning me with love beyond my pow'r to hold.

5. Surely your kindness and mercy follow me all the days of my life;
I will dwell in the house of my God forevermore.

Ingnatian Retreat Week 33 -- God’s Love for Us, Our Response

Used with permission.
http://magis.creighton.edu/~dollsj/

First Point.  This is to recall to mind the blessings of creation and redemption, and the special favors I have received.

I will ponder with great affection how much God our Lord has done for me, and how much He has given me of what He possesses, and finally, how much, as far as He can, the same Lord desires to give Himself to me according to His divine decrees.

Then I will reflect upon myself, and consider, according to all reason and justice, what I ought to offer the Divine Majesty, that is, all I possess and myself with it.  Thus, as one would who is moved by great feeling, I will make this offering of myself:

Receive, O Lord, all my liberty.
Take my memory, my understanding, and my entire will.
Whatsoever I have or hold, You have given me;
I give it all back to You
and surrender it wholly to be governed by your will.
Give me only your love and your grace,
and I am rich enough and ask for nothing more.
(Spiritual Exercises, #234) 

Another translation:
Take, Lord, and receive
all my liberty, my memory,
my understanding, my entire will—
all that I am and possess.
You have given all this to me.
I now return it all to you.
It is yours now.
Use these gifts according to your will.
Give me only your love and your grace.
That is enough for me, and all that I desire.


"I ask God to give me an intimate knowledge 
of the many gifts I have received, 
that filled with gratitude for all, 
I may in all things 
love and serve the Divine Majesty." 
(Spiritual Exercises, #233) 

Intimate knowledge.
That's what I ask you for, Lord.  
I want that insight, that understanding, that knowledge
that will be about our intimacy.

Many gifts.
Let me count the ways you have loved me.
The gifts of your love.
All that you have given me.
All that I am.
I so often look at my shortcomings.
Let me see the gifts.
All of them.

Filled with gratitude.
Fill me, Lord, with gratitude.
Let my heart, 
sometimes filled with so much else,
be filled with thanksgiving.
Give me the feelings of gratitude,
of a grateful heart.
Joy, freedom, peace, generosity.

In all things love and serve.
Let the overflowing gratitude in my heart
touch all the things and people in my life.
Every thought, word and deed.
Every hurt, every slight, every loss.
Every reaction and response.
Every opportunity and choice.
Every offering of myself.
In all,
let me love and serve you.
Amen.

6. Retreat in the Real World: Finding Intimacy with God Wherever You Are

I have been doing the Creighton University Online Retreat since the Fall so I decided to get the print version of the online retreat to take it with me when I do not have easy access to internet. I love this book! I just read an article about how the Online Retreat came to be, and I love the spirit in which it was started:

https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2016/10/19/if-youre-reading-you-can-take-spiritual-exercises-online

This is an adaptation of the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola. It is an "annotation" as he recommended a 30 day retreat at a retreat center with daily spiritual direction. I looked up the prices of this, and it is about 3000! So, this is a FREE option if you do the online, and in some ways, it is more practical because you invite God into your everyday life rather than remove yourself from everyday life in order to go on this retreat. 

I started this in the fall, and I have gone at a faster speed than the weeks because I wanted the weeks to line up with where our Kingdom Community is, and we usually get to the Crucifixion about a month earlier than the liturgical year because we learn the stories before Holy Week so we can tell our friends. I love that they are overlapping now.

It is a lovely thing. There is more on the site than is in the book so I use them both together. I especially like that the site has the chapter recorded so I put them on my iPhone and listen to them almost every morning. I listen to the same chapter day after day. The real proof will be if I am really bringing God into my everyday life, and my life is being transformed as a result, and I would say a hearty, "YES!" I wish everyone could do this! 

I have thought about adapting bits of it for evangelicals because just a few things in the books that I had to adapt, but it is pretty minor, really. I love that they made it so it was less theological and more pastoral (read the article I linked).

I still would like to do a 30 day retreat (the closest one for me is 10 hours away in Los Altos in the summer), but this has been delightful for me.

I wanted other to join me next year, but I have gotten a rather "dull" response from others. So, I might just have to can that idea for another option. I wanted to do an adaptation and incorporate the things I am learning in the Renovaré Institute. Maybe I will make it more Spiritual Formation and add Ignatian Spirituality elements to it. I also would maybe like to do it for the world-wide group that we are a part of. That might reach a wider variety of people.

Well, I am 81%, but I had some time this morning to write the review. So, I am just going to post it and share the joy I have experienced with this book.

Here is the link to the Online version of the book:

http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/RetreatintheRealWorld/

Fifteen Minute Freewrite

I really should be going out in the sunshine, but I am going to pause and write for just fifteen minutes. I think this is the longest I have gone in years without a freewrite. The last one was 1/7/18. So, here I go.

The sun is shining, and George is cutting the grass. I just finished grading all my papers for 56 students. One of my favorite students had to drop the class this last week. She had too much on her plate. I am really glad that PAC is going to allow students to take the classes for non-credit. I don't know how it will work with the papers though. I think they still have to complete it? I will have to look up what the protocol is for the class. I also have my first Faculty/Staff taking on of my PAC classes. I didn't know that Faculty/Staff could take one of my classes. I will have to tell friends who want to take my class that they can do that. This term it is pretty easy to do so because I have the big room in Langton for my Pilates I class. Usually, I have to limit the number of people in my room because the other one is too small to hold more than 30 people comfortably. This one could easily even hold 50, but that would be too many papers to grade.

I am evaluating whether I will continue with my "Light" version of the training group we do. I have a "full-leaded" version this year, and the "light" version from last year wanted to keep on meeting ever other week, but often, they look to me to lead it when I am there, and I end up leading it when I would prefer not to. So, I am wondering if I were not there if I would not be looked to in that way. It is a casual leading. I need to really pray. Is it a time for coaching beyond what they learned in the first group? I am not sure it is so well-defined. I know that it was R who really wanted to continue to meet, and she seems to be really applying what she learned in the first year of training. 

I leaver for my second Renovaré Residency next week, and I am excited this time. I am not afraid. I am not tired. I am glad to go. I will not be staying with someone who has something really heavy going on prior to the time in the residency. SO that will be good. I will also not have to fly. Although driving through Seattle can sometimes be very stressful for me. I am in a great place to absorb. I can also take all my accouterments for keeping my back in great shape: my roller, Pilates mat, band, etc. It will be great. Also, we are not going to a "all faiths" retreat center that have statues to foreign gods! That will really help me. I am also just feeling so strengthened these days. God is always with me, but I am so much more aware of it these days, even in the midst of other things going on that are difficult. So I am so grateful!

I have really, really liked doing the Creighton University Online Retreat. Every morning, I get up and listen to the fifteen minute audio and then I meditate on the verses for the day and pray through the examen. I am in a great rhythm with all of that, and I look forward to finishing up with all of that around Easter. What a joy that has been for me. 

I have really liked the new training group too. We started with nine people, but one of the people was just not ready for the intense commitment that in entails, and she took the January off-ramp that we suggested she take if she was not able to balance work, school, and the training. It has really helped solidify our group making us very cohesive and committed. I love it! Thursday we did something we have never done before. We had them get together in discipleship pairs and one disciple the other for 25 minutes a piece. It was great! 

I need to melt some pounds away these days. I have been moving much less than I usually do because I broke my toe. The last week was better than the week before so I won't beat myself up for that. 

I heard George finish mowing the lawn. So I think I will go see if he wants to go for a walk. 

5. The Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ by Jeanne Guyon

I have read this many years ago, and then I gave away my copy. Then, it was part of our Renovare reading for this term.

I loved it. It is really a lovely book. I loved these two reviews. So I will let them to the talking for me! 

https://daviddflowers.com/2008/04/27/experiencing-the-depths-of-jesus-christ-book-review/

http://www.passtheword.org/DIALOGS-FROM-THE-PAST/methodofprayer.htm

Sunday Morning Five Twenty Four Freewrite

It has been a long time since I have just let the finger fly with abandon across the keys. Actually, I do a lot of private "freewrites" at examen.me now. So great that my Renovaré Institute Praxis Exercise for January is the examen too. This practice has so enriched me. I like doing the Creighton University Online Retreat with it too. This last week, we were to look at our "Two Ways of Desiring" and asking what we really want. It so lines up with everything that I am learning in other areas too. The byline question of this week is, "What do I really want?" There are six words to think about:

Riches, honors, pride. Poverty, dishonor, humility.

And wouldn't you know it, in the midst of this, I had a very dishonoring thing happen to me! At first I was very mad and upset, but then God reminded me of His way. I cried (sobbed - ugly cry) most of the morning on Thursday. But even in the midst of the storm, I knew Jesus was with me. I felt the freedom to cry and process. It turned out really good in my relationship with Rachel as she cut and colored my hair, and I cried. I am not usually a mess like that. I am not a faker though. I cannot hide my unhappiness, but there was something very powerful in allowing myself to cry in front of Rachel like that. I asked George and Nancy and Kim to pray. There was something very powerful in that too. Nancy went on a run and sent me a picture of a fire, but I am not exactly sure what that meant. 

All that said, there was resolution and peace with FIVE people in FOUR hours. I had to apologize for my anger to THREE out of the FIVE and admit my anger (even though by the time I talked to him, I was not angry anymore) to another. All resolutions were very sweet.

There is no denying that what happened was very unjust, and my Spiritual Director says I have a strong sense of justice, and that is so true. All that to say that dishonor leads to humility, and by the time the peacemaking came, I was in a position to be humble, but he had to remind me of that fact in the midst of the storm, but the point is: I HEARD HIS VOICE IN THE MIDST OF THE STORM! That is huge for me. I knew even if he was ASLEEP ON A PILLOW in the stern of the boat (so funny that this was also the passage for our Kingdom Community that same night), I would be OK. I did have faith that I would get to the other side of the sea safe and sound. I knew that he cared. I knew I was not perishing. It was definitely a storm, but I weathered it WITH HIM.

HUGE! 

My Spiritual Director said that Ignatius says that when desolation comes, consolation is right around the corner, and I actually knew that. I was almost excited for desolation because I knew that God wanted to do a deeper work in me. 

4. Wonderful Memories of It's A Wonderful Life

It's a Wonderful Life is in my top 5 favorite movies and Jimmy Stewart is my favorite actor (He is from Indiana, Pennsylvania, and his dad and my great grandfather were elders in the same church, and my father's cousin's earliest memory was dressing Jimmy Stewart's Oscars in doll clothes while my great grandfather and Jimmy Stewart's father talked in the Stewart Hardware Store (they were displayed in the window)).

This has recordings of interviews with many of the actors, and it tells all the in and outs of the production.

It was absolutely DELIGHTFUL!!!!!

I got it from Library2Go. It is narrated by Jimmy Hawkins who played one of the children in the movie. Great thing to listen to since we watch it every Christmas!

1-3 Practice of the Presence of God, The Game with Minutes, and Letters by a Modern Mystic

These are all "rereads" for me. I try to read them regularly, but I am reading all three for the Renovaré Institute and "The Game with Minutes"  is the assignment for this week's Kingdom Community. This is my second read of in a week of  The Practice of the Presence of God  so you can read that review. 

I am still on that quest to experience God 24/7/365, and I particularly liked what Brother Lawrence said, "He sometimes permits bodily diseases to cure the distempers of the soul" (p. 141), and I found that to be quite true since I had excruciating pain from December 30 until 11:30 today (when "Magic Margaret" the PT that I have not seen for five years and usually takes months to get in to see, had an opening). I took a horrible fall on December 19, but it did not manifest it self until a painful "catch" in my mid-back on December 23rd and then hopped all over my back until it all came crashing down on December 30. The pain drove me to Him. I thought those days of morbid pain were over. Other than the terrible blip during the Renovaré Institute in October, I have not had morbid pain since 2013, and since then only little pains here and there that were quickly alleviated. It was the fall. But I digress. Pain is a good teacher, and Brother Lawrence concurs.

Favorite quote: 

There is not in the world a kind of life more sweet and delightful than that of a continual conversation with God. Those only can comprehend it who practice and experience it; yet I do not advise you to do it from the motive. It is not pleasure which we ought to seek in this exercise; but let us do it from a principle of love, and because God would have us.

The Game with Minutes - For some reason, this is the second most read post on this blog. I have no idea why. It is a little gem of a book and if you get the version that I read, you get both this and Letters by a Modern Mystic in one volume. It is a fun thing to do with others, and I am hoping all nine people in our group practice this game so we can have a good discussion about it!

Favorite quote - what we "win" doing The Game with Minutes:

We develop what Thomas A. Kempis calls a “familiar friendship with Jesus.” Our Unseen Friend becomes dearer, closer and more wonderful every day until at last we know Him as “Jesus, lover of my soul” not only in songs, but in blissful experiences. Doubts vanish, we are more sure of Him being with us than of anybody else. This warm, ardent friendship ripens rapidly until people see its glory shining in our eyes—and it keeps on growing richer and more radiant every month.

Letters by a Modern Mystic - Oh how I adore this book. It is Brother Lawrence for a person who has an active life out in the real world. I have not read it in three years. So I was due! You can read my former review that is linked.

One quote:

Here is something we can share with all of the people in the world: They cannot all be brilliant or rich or beautiful. They cannot all even dream beautiful dreams like God gives some of us. They cannot all enjoy music. Their hearts do not all burn with love: But everybody can learn to hold God by the hand and rest. And when God is ready to speak the fresh thoughts of heaven will flow in like a crystal spring. Everybody rests at the end of the day, what a world gain if everybody, could rest in the waiting arms of the Father, and listen until he whispers (p. 80-81).

YAY! 2018 reading is off to a great start! All my favorite quotes are in a word processor now ready for the paper I will write in July! 

Spiritual Exercises in Everyday Life - Week 17a

I wanted my Christmas meditations to sync with the Online Spiritual Exercises. So, I get to do this "extra" week that is not part of them this year because of where Easter falls on the calendar (April 1). I am so glad I felt the "nudge" from God to go on to this week because if you could have read my examen prayer journaling this morning, you would have read my heartfelt desire for JESUS! I love what the "Getting Started" for Week 17A says:

"This week doesn’t take us into new territory. It just takes us deeper. We begin this week with our desires. I renew my desire, my passion, my choice, to be with Jesus — to want to know him more intimately, to love him more deeply, to follow him with more of my heart. This week is not one of deeper struggle or more intense thinking. This is a week of affirmation. All week, in many very concrete ways, in the background experience of the in between times, I say, “Yes, this is what I want. This is what I choose. To be with you, Jesus.”

This is a week to deepen these graces by enjoying them. I know that this deepening relationship with Jesus is changing me, freeing me, moving me to learn even more about him, all because I love this person who loves me so completely, so unconditionally. I just feel it all week — and enjoy it. I like the way I’m becoming. I like what is opening up in me.

All week I will pause, perhaps especially in the most difficult moments, and smile with a deepening inner smile. The riches and the honors just don’t have such a hold on me. The poverty experiences, even moments of humiliation, don’t terrify me as much. I smile because I understand and am becoming more and more attracted to Jesus’ way of living his life — moving away from the path to pride and toward the path to humility before God.

Each night this week, I let my words of gratitude come from deeper and deeper in my heart. The messiness or difficulties — even the failures or sin of my day — don’t take away my gratitude. They deepen it. I’m grateful because Jesus is drawing me into a joy I hadn’t known before. It is a joy that is dependent not on my successes but on my life being placed with Jesus, in God’s hands."

AMEN! 

For Longing

One of my clients for Dial a Book Deliveries had given me poetry by this Irish priest, but I just found him in my Yearly Examen too.

For Longing

Poem by John O’Donohue 

blessed be the longing that brought you here
and quickens your soul with wonder.

may you have the courage to listen to the voice of desire
that disturbs you when you have settled for something safe.

may you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease
to discover the new direction your longing wants you to take.

may the forms of your belonging – in love, creativity, and friendship –
be equal to the grandeur and the call of your soul.

may the one you long for long for you.
may your dreams gradually reveal the destination of your desire.

may a secret providence guide your thought and nurture your feeling.

may your mind inhabit your life with the sureness
with which your body inhabits the world.

may your heart never be haunted by ghost-structures of old damage.

may you come to accept your longing as divine urgency.
may you know the urgency with which God longs for you.

You Were Called a Carpenter's Son

I am on Week 16 - Jesus' Early Years in the Spiritual Exercises in Everyday Life. 

You Were Called a Carpenter's Son.
 

The living Son of God willed to be born into a human family; let us adore Him, let us beseech Him:  Jesus, sanctify us through your obedience. Eternal Word of the Father, you were subject to Mary and Joseph. Jesus, sanctify us through your obedience. Master and Lord, your mother kept all your words and deeds in her heart.  Jesus, sanctify us through your obedience. Creator of the universe, you were called the carpenter's son.  Jesus, sanctify us through your obedience. You grew in age and grace in your family at Nazareth, you are our leader and our brother.  Jesus, sanctify us through your obedience. God our Father, you gave Mary and Joseph the grace to watch over Jesus' early years.  Make your Church a community where people learn to watch over each other and discover that they are members of one family, in Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives with you and the Holy Spirit forever and ever.