Freewrite to Freedom Fifteen

Yesterday morning was great. Here is what I wrote to my "Terrific Ten" Prayer Team (Ten friends who are so committed to praying for me that I cry. It is a mixture of my hubby, college best friend, four women who graduated from our training, three local buddies (one of whom also graduated from our training), and a woman I used to mentor): 

This morning was so lovely. I met with a girl going overseas. She had listened to talks by my friends, and when she contacted them, they referred her to me. I sat with this lovely woman and listened to her doubts about hearing the voice of God, her second guessing, her fears, her false narratives, and then we went to prayer; creating space for her to just listen, recording the journey so she can see God's pattern, unique to her. 

God gives perfect calm going into these times for I know he always shows up. I just go with no expectation of how he will speak or how he will move: but he always does.. He gave her such strong pictures of Himself - smashing the false narratives, gently leading her beside quiet waters. And he even gave her words regarding her belovedness and an identity name. Today was the beginning of something so beautiful for her. There is no doubt that there is a God. Another God miracle on the crying couch. Heaven touching earth. I am in awe.

At the end, I gave her a copy of my Renovare Institute monthly assignment on hearing God's voice (if you want a copy I could send it to you) and a little handout on examen prayer  that will help her in the upcoming cross-cultural move.

As usual, as the hours have passed I have become more and more pensive. I cannot explain it, but this happens to me sometimes after sweet breakthroughs with people. I am listening to Elevation Worship (does anyone else just love them?), but I am still pensive. That is not necessarily bad. 

I would just appreciate prayer. I cannot even explain it. Just feel like crying pensive tears. A breakthrough for me is on the way. I just know it. So I would appreciate prayer.

Pushing the button of vulnerability. 

I got such a sweet response back from one of the friends:

Thank you for sharing this… I will be praying for her, and for you too! What a powerful encounter… My first thought when I read it was I completely resonate… After times of intense and exciting breakthrough I often go through a similar time of “valley” I never know if it is good/bad/otherwise but definitely a pattern I know from the inside… but when I read your account my mind thought of Jesus and his encounter with the woman with bleeding who received healing when touching His hem…. “I felt power go out from me…” I wonder if Jesus experienced similar times of depletion (?) or as you put it pensiveness after times of great encounter? Just something I’m thinking about. I’d love a copy of the assignment you mentioned and of course will pray for you to be able to rest and restore after giving out to this young lady.

I had just meditated on the story of the women who touches Jesus' robe the day before. I think I was a bit depleted. The good news is, I didn't turn to overeating or watching TV to avoid the pensiveness. I just let God minister to me in my pensiveness. This is huge for me. I think it would have been different had my friend picked me up for lunch right after like we had planned, but she had the death of a friend. I think I was so looking forward to some face-to-face connection with her and debriefing with her (of course not giving any details of the encounter with this woman), and I didn't get that. I use my time wisely by reviewing some reading and writing my academic assignment for Renovaré Institute, but then night came, and I felt so pensive. It was really good though. I was vulnerable, and my besties responded with promises of prayer, and I think it really did lift. I also got a sweet response from one of the fellow members in my Renovaré Cohort who said he was praying Proverbs 11:25 for me:

A generous person will prosper;

whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

Then I wrote the young woman and said, "God did a good thing today." And she replied, "Yes, definitely. A lot of confirmation. :)"  

I love my life. It all was wrapped up in a big bow at bedtime. I woke up this morning so refreshed and alive Proverbs 11:25 style, and it followed with two fast-paced Pilates classes. I had such good classes this term. They were really life-giving for me and many are returning for next term. I love this age group. (I did have one 60 year old faculty member that was delightful too.)

Tonight feels so lovely. :)