A Clockwork Orange

This glossary would be really helpful for you if you read this!

A Clockwork Orange Appendix

I was afraid to read it, and I skipped the movie when I was going through the AFI Top 100 (#46) because I wouldn't want to watch what is described in the book, but it is really well written, and it deserves to be on the 1000 Books list. I have this weird liking of dystopian novels. Cautionary tale maybe? This book truly is a "philosophical inquiry into good and evil." 

Here is why James Mustich thinks it should be one of the 1000 Books You Read Before You Die:

Alex, the frightening narrator of this brutal and brilliant novel, is an amoral, Beethoven-loving gang leader in a near-future dystopian Britain. Whether adolescent girls or a schoolteacher returning from the library, the gang’s victims are treated with an exuberantly vicious disregard: They might as well be faceless, inhuman targets for the random acts of violence, the gratuitous venom of Alex and his thugs (sex, unsurprisingly, is reduced to its mechanical coordinates: “the old in-out-in-out”). The linguistic bravura of the book and the unbound rebellion that is described do not hide for long the philosophical inquiry into good and evil at the core of A Clockwork Orange. Though it’s often compared to 1984 and Brave New World, Anthony Burgess’s book—in part a vision, both prescient and exaggerated, of the coming trauma of youth culture—has an extra layer of surreality and menace. Burgess is more interested in invoking questions than answering them, and he puts his considerable imaginative powers to work in the service of his inquisition. The result for the reader is a vivid tour of an unforgettable future—a journey that remains both intellectually invigorating and deeply unsettling.

Regeneration: Book 1

This is so well-written. I was almost done with the book before I realized it is based on real-life characters. I liked this. 

War sucks. Just sayin'. 

ere is why James Mustich thinks it should be one of the 1000 Books You Read Before You Die:

James Mustich

Jul 27, 2018

In 1917, Siegfried Sassoon—poet, friend of the celebrated Bloomsbury circle, and decorated military hero—had a crisis of conscience about the war he was fighting and penned a letter of protest that was sent to Parliament and published in The Times of London. For this very public refusal to fight he might have been court-martialed, but was instead sent to Craiglockhart War Hospital, in Scotland, to be treated for “shell shock.” His months there have been recounted in autobiographical works by at least three men: Sassoon himself (Sherston’s Progress, 1936), fellow poet Robert Graves (Good-bye to All That, 1929), and Sassoon’s doctor at Craiglockhart, noted psychiatrist and anthropologist W. H. R. Rivers (Conflict and Dream, 1923). They have also, more recently, been brilliantly imagined by Pat Barker in her award-winning Regeneration Trilogy. In these meticulously researched novels, as in life, Sassoon is surrounded by genuine shell shock victims—men who have variously lost the ability to sleep, eat, or speak. The trilogy’s central figure, Dr. Rivers, has the increasingly troubling job of “fixing” these men so they can be sent back to the trenches for more of the infernal combat that broke them. If not mightier than the savage sword that inflicted the wounds of World War I, the pen, in Barker’s hand, bears powerful witness to the scars it left behind.

Between the World and Me

 I will never be able to fathom what it would be like for a black man to grow up in America. This was helpful.

Here is why James Mustich thinks it should be one of the 1000 Books You Read Before You Die:

James Mustich

Jul 30, 2018

Ta-Nehisi Coates’s book is prompted in part by his inability to offer any comfort to his son after the latter’s disillusionment in the aftermath of the killing of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri, and the exoneration of the police officers at whose hands he died: “I did not tell you that it would be okay, because I have never believed it would be okay.” The paternal anguish of a parent who knows he cannot protect his child from the embedded racism he has seen claim with impunity the lives of friends and relations brings a new dimension to a familiar fear, the one Coates felt as a constant companion of his own Baltimore childhood and coming-of-age. Unforgiving and unforgettable, Between the World and Me is a book to be reckoned with, its raw feeling as searing as its formidable eloquence; the questions it raises are weightier than any answers, one fears, can lift.

Fenwick to Holy Island - St Cuthbert's Way - Long Distance Walk through the Borders Scotland, Northumberland England, Melrose and Holy Island

Fenwick to Holy Island - St Cuthbert's Way - Long Distance Walk through the Borders Scotland, Northumberland England, Melrose and Holy Island: St Cuthbert's Way is a 62 mile long distance trail between Melrose in the Scottish Borders and Lindisfarne of the coast of Northumberland in England.

I am following Pete Greig's journey from Iona to Lindisfarne on Lectio365. 

Ficciones

This was SO HARD for me to get, but then I found the Course Hero videos:

There is one in each of the short stories! Hallelujah. (What is it with me and South American authors? I have the hardest time with them!)

Course Hero Ficciones Link

I still think it was pretty stupid! But here is why James Mustich thinks it should be one of the 1000 Books You Read Before You Die:

James Mustich

Jul 28, 2018

Because Borges’s uncanny fables seldom resemble typical short stories, his works are frequently called “fictions”—which is precisely what Ficciones means. In addition to “Pierre Menard,” the volume includes sixteen pieces, including several masterpieces, such as “The Library of Babel,” “Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius,” “The Garden of the Forking Paths,” and “Funes, the Memorious.” The latter is a brief, haunting memoir of a man who, after an accident, finds himself possessed by cripplingly acute mental powers. His “implacable memory” makes life literally unforgettable. That’s also the word for Borges’s intricate, erudite, playfully dream-weaving work.

Spare

He is getting so much flack for this, but the Royal Family is MESSED up and dysfunctional. I couldn't put this down, and I hope He and Meghan and their kids can find peace and a healthy family dynamic! I also pray he can find health and a peaceful resolution of conflict with his father and brother. 

The Amplified Bible

I finished my time in The Reservoir, and I was trying to read through the Bible along with it, but I wasn't able to do both. So, on April 23rd, I decided that I would just catch up with where I want to be on a three-year reading from the Bible Book Club. But then I thought, I am going to get The Amplified Bible in an audiobook and just listen to it while I walk and go by the way. I also quit reading other books for a while and just read the Bible (other than the ones I am reading for the class I am taking). 

I listened through it for TWO MONTHS! I loved it! 

I have referred to the Amplified Bible for so many years, and I love it. I have George's Aunt Dot's copy that is so lovingly worn! But it was so fun to listen to it cover to cover! I couldn't stop. :) 

The only thing about this audiobook is that it is by chapters but not by books and chapters. So, it would be hard to have it for someone who was trying to find a chapter in the Bible. As I went along, I bookmarked the beginning of each book to make it easier for me in the future to do that. 

The Journal of a Disappointed Man

I found this pretty monotonous. It is a first-hand account of a person dying with Multiple Sclerosis. So, I see why Mustich thought it was important. 

This chronology helped me get an overall picture of what was going on. 

Here is why James Mustich thinks it should be one of the 1000 Books You Read Before You Die:

Illness is usually a private matter; a diary, too. But The Journal of a Disappointed Man, a wrenching but deeply humane diary by a young Edwardian suffering from a terminal condition, places the most private ordeal in public view—with extraordinary consequences. For anyone who has ever suffered, or seen a loved one suffer, Bruce Frederick Cummings—who, two years before his death, published his diaries under the pseudonym W. N. P. Barbellion—offers a candid but ultimately uplifting portrayal of the ravages of disease and the larger mysteries of mortality. In its unsparing recapitulation of a life cut short, his diary stands as one of literature’s great monuments to endurance in the face of adversity; it is also, as Noel Perrin calls it, “one of the great affirmations in our literature.”

The Joy Switch: How Your Brain's Secret Circuit Affects Your Relationships--And How You Can Activate It

This was recommended in the class I am taking with Life Model Works. And it was a pleasant read while I was walking.

I am already applying many things. It has a lot of overlap with the previous book I reviewed, but it was an enjoyable and easy read. 

I had a friend who was very distraught last week, and I said, "Can we do something that will activate your joy?" She was all up for it, and God met her SO POWERFULLY!

The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

This all started when I read Renovated (because a directee was reading it, and she knew I loved Dallas Willard). I had also read brain science books like Anatomy of the Soul, and Hardwiring Happiness and had been applying the principles in my spiritual direction. 

Then my word for the year was JOY, and somehow Amazon knew this and recommended Joyful Journey: Listening to Immanuel. So, I read that and started Immanuel Journaling and recommended it to my directees, and they were loving it. Then it led me to Life Model Works and getting on their mailing list. Then, someone trained in the Life Model came and stayed with me, and we talked about it. 

Then I got an email about this study group:

Learning to Become a Full-Brained Christ-Follower - Life Model Works

And this book is what we study. In the class, he recommended The Joy Switch, and I read that (review coming). 

I love all that I am learning in the group, especially the exercises we do as a group. It is six lessons every other week for three months. The next one is in October. 

On top of all of this, I started talking with women who think they are married to Narcissists. One of them said that she had this book recommended to her:

The Pandora Problem: Facing Narcissism in Leaders & Ourselves (still reading) 

She said it was by "Jim Wilder," and I said, "Is this the same guy?" And it is! 

So, I am on a major God-ordained bunny trail with all of this! 

Union and Communion

I have this book in the Song of Solomon posts on the Bible Book Club. So, I reread it again and still love it. James Hudson Taylor is my hero!

The Narrative of Sojourner Truth

This was the last book in the 2022-2023 Renovare Book Club season. I think this was my 7th year leading a group. It has grown to 9 people, and I love each and every one of them!

This is a beautiful and poignant book. I appreciated the book club leaders of this book. Here is an interview with them: 

I also loved this SOMA DIVINA from one of the leaders.

The History of Tom Jones, A Foundling

I read this in late April/Early May but am just getting around to a review (My focus since April 23rd has been reading the whole Bible and proofreading the entire Bible Book Club blog. I am so glad I did. So good to read reflections from 10-15 years ago.)  

I remember watching the BBC adaptation of this many years ago, to a point. Then I couldn't watch it anymore. But there is a new adaptation, and I decided to give the book a try and then watch the adaptation. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked it!

(Looking closely at this book cover. It is quite racy!)

Here is why James Mustich thinks it should be one of the 1000 Books You Read Before You Die:

James Mustich

Henry Fielding had begun his literary career by parodying the most popular novel of his day, the sanctimonious Pamela: Or Virtue Rewarded, in two works, Joseph Andrews and Shamela (the title says it all). Having upended Pamela, so to speak, Fielding set out to write a novel that was truer to real life, with a hero who, though undeniably good at heart, is also a high-spirited young man with lusty appetites. One of the first great comic novels in English, and still one of the most entertaining in any language, Tom Jones is a gloriously robust and bawdy adventure boasting what Samuel Taylor Coleridge called “one of the most perfect plots ever planned.”

Freewrite - Summer Goals

Deck Reflections

Summer Goals that Start with the Letter S!

FOOD
1) Slimming - Not too much over but want to fit well in summer clothes
2) Stress Less - Do things that lower dopamine and serotonin that do not involve munching
3) Subtle Six (especially SHAME) - Immanuel Journal when these problem emotions arise

ATTITUDE/ACADEMIC
1) Scribe - Interactive Gratitude 3x/day for 5 minutes.
2) Seven to Six - Books left to the #6 spot on the 1000 Books to Read Before You Die List Challenge. 
3) Spiritual Books - Pandora Problem, Screwtape Letters, Immanuel Approach

COMMUNION
1) Sanctuary - spending my mornings with God in my deck sanctuary
2) Scripture prayer walk - Going back to praying through Face to Face and walking (also Lectio365 and Pray as You Go)
3) Slow Soul Care Sabbatical - Halting all spiritual direction for the whole month of July (except my supervision of spiritual directors because I am contracted to meet with them for two hours in July). Going hiking with the family in the North Cascades and Seattle friends. We also might do a cruise in July.

EXERCISE
1) Strengthening - Pilates best bet - a little arm weights
2) Stretching - Roll and stretch 1-2x daily
3) Stamina - 6.7 miles of the Corvallis to Sea (C2C) Trail left. All this hiking has raised my VO2MAX to the 40-year-old athlete range. WOOHOO!

DAILY CARE OF HOME and FAMILY
1) Snapshots - Sort through pictures back to the Fall of 2016 (when I went to work at the university)
2) Simplifying - Tossing from every closet and drawer (used to do this every August and have not in ages)
3) Sanctuary - Cooling and heating unit for deck, screen to close it in cold weather, a sign made by Ted or Kevin,

I wrote these all on my shower wall. I resurrected FACED with Katrina and Rachel, and I posted them on LoseIt! I cannot believe how much better I am with friends keeping me accountable in these areas:

F: Food

A: Attitude and/or Academic

C: Communion with God and Others

E: Exercise

D: Daily Care of Home and Family

I started a FACED group back in the 2000s, and these two were the most faithful. It was time for me to kick it back up because I was trying to keep my weight down, and it was not staying down. For the better part of ten years, it was great. You must constantly readjust because of the reduction in Basal Metabolic Rate as we age. I need 100 fewer calories a day than when I lost all my weight in 2013. So, this is the "10-years older correction" to this, and it is going well.  It really makes a difference to have others in the battle. 

I am doing really well all the way around. (I can hear a deer eating our apple tree. I sit on the deck most mornings now, and it has been so nice to hear all the goings on with the fauna around here!)

I am really happy that I went through the Bible Book Club. I was going to start reading through the Bible in three years starting in January, but I got carried away with the Reservoir Devotional (loved it). So, after I finished that on April 23, I decided to read through the Bible and listen to the Amplified Version audiobook. I followed along in the Bible Book Club, and it was SO ENCOURAGING to read through all my reflections from 10-15 years ago! Wow! There is a reason why God tells us to "remember" because it so bolstered my faith to read a record of God's faithfulness time and time again. I am sold on this life of faith! LOL! 

Update: I posted this at 7:09 am, and it is 7:41 am, and I read this in An Ignatian Book of Days: 

Memory has a fundamental role for the heart of a Jesuit: memory of grace, the memory mentioned in Deuteronomy, the memory of God's works that are the basis of the covenant between God and the people...

Seek the LORD and his strength
seek his presence continually
his miracles and the judgments he has uttered.
 Psalm 105:4-5 

Spend some extra time today reflecting on memories that you especially cherish. How do you see Christ in them? (p. 144) 

I looked at my calendar today, and there is nothing on it! How did that happen? I am shocked. Maybe we are supposed to go and hike that last 6.6 miles of the C2C. It was supposed to rain today, but it looks like it will not after all. :)

I am going back to some more time with God. As soon as it warms up a bit, I will go for a walk. But right now, I am enjoying my deck. The umbrella for our table comes today. So I am done decorating for now. Maybe another plant or two. 

12 HOUR WALK 5/23/23

I decided to have my silent retreat mostly on foot. I read the 12-Hour Walk book in January, and I had committed myself to do it on June 2^nd, but I already had scheduled to have a silent retreat for the 2HC. So I combined the two.

The 12-Hour Walk is for this purpose:

Are you ready to live your best life? Are you looking to shift your mindset, sharpen your edge, or get unstuck? Are you trying to feel better, find clarity and make confident decisions that align with your values? Are excited for a new challenge? 

Introducing The 12-Hour Walk. It’s a book and a global movement, and you’re invited! I designed The 12-Hour Walk as a simple one-day prescription to shed you of what’s holding you back so you can live your best life. It’s a walking meditation to strengthen your mind. It’s 12 hours, outside, unplugged, walking, alone.

I kept thinking of Augustine’s quote: 

Solvitur Ambulando – things are solved by walking

I didn’t have anything to solve though, and my life has been surprisingly light since I quit the university and just do spiritual direction and lead groups in spiritual formation. 

It was nice to be outside all day for 12 hours. I had no agenda. The hardest thing was deciding what to bring with me on the journey. I usually walk without a backpack, but I would be gone 12 hours and headed into places with no water source. One of the “rules” for the 12-Hour Walk was to not go into stores for water or food. So, I made lunch and carried snacks and water with me.

A big thing I was really glad about was Vaseline for my feet. I reapplied it three times on the journey. (I learned to do that on the Camino.) I also had lip balm for my lips. George encouraged me to bring my light biking shell, and I am so glad that I did because it stayed pretty cool until 2 pm. I took it off for a couple of hours, and then I had it on from 4-7:23 pm when I ended my walk.  I must say that I expressed gratitude to God for many things in my life and thank God for George who encouraged me to take it. 

I started out at 7:23 am (it took me 1 1/2 hours to pack up - I wish I would have done it the night before to get an earlier start). 

I ran into the beginning of the high school traffic. I prayed for the students as I saw them racing in with their cars. 

Then I walked to campus. It is so well maintained and most of the students were still asleep. I went into the Memorial Union for my first bathroom break, water refill, and stretching. Then I walked through the west side of campus.

I walked by my old neighborhood and prayed for the couple I used to live with. They are divorced now after 42 years of marriage, but they live in houses next to one another. 

I walked through family housing where many of the international families live and prayed for them. I have so many memories of all these places I walked by. Most of them are so warm, and I lingered on those memories (as I am learning to do in my Life Model Works Course).

Then I made it on the Campus Way Bike path to the Irish Bend Covered Bridge. I rarely walk this. I am usually racing on it on my bike. It was nice to walk slowly and enjoy the fields with various domestic animals. 

The thing that was most instinctual for me is to pull my phone out to take pictures.  It was so good to not have that option so I could just enjoy and relish the amazing views from this path - the hills and fields and animals, and before that, there were so many spring flowers blooming in the yards of houses I passed! It was good to just linger and look with my whole senses instead of breaking that up to fumble for my phone.

After this, I walked on the Midge Cramer Path to the Bald Hill Natural Area. Midge and Meg Cramer were dear friends. They are both gone. They were my landlords, and I smiled and laughed when I thought of Midge coming to bring me money for something once and, in front of my roommates, handing me money saying, "Thank you so much for last night, Carol. (Wink. Wink.)" He was just kidding around, but it shocked my roommates. I just laughed hysterically. I cherished these friends as I walked the path. 

This natural area has many miles of trails (and the 12-Hour walk did not record any of them because they were off-road. Thus, why I really walked 26 and not 19 miles), and I explored the flat ones. I was not up for a walk up to the top. I started to because the view is amazing, but I knew I would be walking all day, and this would have tired me out very early.  I stop at a little vista and sat on a bench and had my first of four Centering prayer times. 

While I was supposed to be silent and not interact with any people, one of my dear friends walked along this path with her friend. I was not going to ignore her because we had not seen each other face-to-face for maybe two years. All that to say, I broke the silence rule. We talked about things very pertinent to things I have been pondering lately. They had just finished watching a lesson in Becoming What You Believe by Jamie and Donna Winship. So, we did talk about that. It was such an amazing conversation!

After walking back with them to their housing development, I walked to Starker Arts Park to have lunch and watch the fountain and ducks (and stretch and take an outhouse break).

Then I walked from there to Avery Park and sat in the Rose Garden which is not in full bloom but has lovely benches. I had another Centering Prayer time there. 

I walked from the Rose Garden to the Mary's River bridge next to Hwy 99 and into the main homeless camp. One person walking in front of me dropped all of his things and started ranting and raving, waving his arms violently. I was a bit scared, but I prayed for him. So many of the homeless are mentally ill. I pray we can find compassionate solutions for them. I walked slowly until he stopped his rant, picked up his things, and went on his way. 

I walked along the river to Riverfront Park and then to the library for stretching, bathroom, and water. Then I walked through campus and stopped at an enclosed area near the Milam building (home of the Nutrition Department I was a part of for my bachelor's). 

Then it was on to Good Samaritan Episcopal Church and its large labyrinth. The one I usually walk to is very close to my house and very small. I walked it slowly, pondering. God spoke sweet things. I rested in the middle and had another time of Centering. (This church used to be open 24 hours a day when I was in college, and I would often go there in the middle of the night to pray. One time I prayed for rapture before a biochemistry test.)

He had no agenda for me. So we really did hang out together all day outside. 

I also walk and expressed gratitude for so many things. If there was one theme on the walk is that I am grateful for the journey of joy he has had me on. I sang Michael Card's song: 

There is a joy in the journey

There's a light that we shed on the way

There is a wonder and wildness to life

And freedom for those who obey. 

This is my favorite song of all time. Life has been wonderful for me. It really has.

Oh, I did encounter one other homeless man when I walked to Cloverland Park on 29th Street. He had lost his phone. He was in a wheelchair, and it was hard for him to wheel himself out there to look for it under the tree that he had slept under the night before. So, I did break my silence a bit so I could help him find his phone. In the end, he found it in his bag. He was so sweet, and we did chat a bit. Not sorry for breaking the silence then either. 

From Cloverland Park, I went to Timberhill Fitness Club. (I am still a teacher there, but I have no time even to sub these days.)

I took the Betty Griffiths Trail and stopped and rested there for a bit until the blooming Scotch Broom made my allergies go berserk. The last time I was back there was after the fire many years ago. So, I got lost when I went off that trail and into a trail along the creek. I kept hearing God say, “Not all who wander are lost.” I decided to just enjoy the journey and not assume I was lost. It was a long time in a thick forest with blackberry vines clogging the trails. I got a bit scratched up and started to get a bit scared (cougars have been spotted in the area), but at one point, I sat on a log that had fallen across the trail and just drank in the beauty (and silence) all around me.

It took me a while to get out of the forest, but I eventually made it. I walked up to the other labyrinth I usually walk and sat down up at hospital hill overlooking fields. It was such a beautiful day with the best weather (the high 60s). I rounded around the hill and through the schoolyard and back to my door.

I walked 26 miles in 12 hours. I didn’t solve any problems, but I loved the agenda-less day. I felt like I was good about stopping, resting, eating, hydrating, stretching, and Centering.

It has been a very good year. And the 2HC has been especially sweet for me. I said to my group at the beginning of the year that I had "come into my own," and Dano asked me what that meant.

I mean that I feel like I am right where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what God has called me to do. Doing is coming out of being. (It helps that I teach on it all the time.) I feel rested and refreshed and so blessed with all the people in my life who love me, and I love. I am not scared anymore.

But coming into my own means that I feel confident (but not cocky about my calling). I am living in a nice Enneagram Harmony as a 

Loving (Type Two)

Learning (Type Five)

Leader (Type Eight)

Loving (Type Two)

Visionary (Type Five)

Revolutionary (Type Eight) - the one I struggle with the most because I have to be assertive, and I told Jesus I was not a revolutionary, and he said, "I am, and you're yoked to me."

I have a dream job.

Spiritual Direction with people I adore

Leading Five Groups:

1. Contemplative Cohort (35-42yo) of international workers
2. 2nd Half of Life Spiritual Formation groups of international workers
3. Renovare Spiritual Formation Book Club of community leaders,   
4. Supervising new spiritual directors (most working with international workers)
5. Silent/Centering Prayer for Order of the Mustard Seed

What I do is better than eating chocolate. I feel God’s presence and pleasure as I do it. I know I am not doing it alone.

The whole walk was a joy, pleased to be with my lover.

The only thing I felt sure He wanted was for George and me to go on a vacation, just the two of us. We have scheduled something with our kids, but we keep putting off having a vacation for just the two of us. We did Groundwork in Northern Cyprus, the Camino in Spain, and the 24-7 International Gathering in Belfast last year, but they were all with our community. I felt very specifically that it was not ministry related. Just for fun. Something we haven’t done since November of 2019.

I came home and read Scripture. I have been reading the Old Testament prophets, and I just see God’s constant love for His people. I slept like a ROCK after my day and so glad I did this!