11. Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster

I think this is my fourth read of this classic. I read it two years ago and went through the DVD series with two women. One of the women was in a very dry time of her life, and this was so helpful for her.

I am reading it for the Renovaré Institute so I took a lot of notes and got so much more out of this time around because of that. I had to put this picture of the original 1978 cover. I own a copy with this kind of cover (although mine is in much better shape than this one). I don't know why I read it first. I know that I had talked about it with my friend, Dave, before I was married. So, I think I read it for the first time during the 80's. I also read the Freedom of Simplicity, but I cannot remember when I read that one. I really like that one. 

Some memorable quotes:

Joy is the keynote of all the Disciplines. The purpose of the Disciplines is liberation from the stifling slavery to self-interest and fear. When one’s inner spirit is set free from all that holds it down, that can hardly, be described as dull drudgery. Singing, dancing, even shouting characterize the Disciplines of the spiritual life. (p.2)

(I have danced with Richard Foster, by the way. He came and directed our Concert of Prayer back in the early 90s, and he had us all dancing. It was great!) 

Meditation was certainly not foreign to the authors of Scriptures . . . These were people who were close to the heart of God. God spoke to them not because they had special abilities, but because they were willing to listen. (p. 14)

Often meditation will yield insights that are deeply practical, almost mundane. (p. 17)

Quote my Morton Kelly: Christian meditation that does not make a difference in the quality of one’s outer life is short-circuited. (p. 17)

We must come to see, therefore, how central the whole of our day is in preparing us for specific times of meditation. If we are constantly being swept off our feet with frantic activity, we will be unable to be attentive at the moment of inward silence. A mind that is harassed and fragmented by external affairs is hardly prepared for meditation. The church Fathers often spoke of Otium Sanctum: “holy leisure.” It refers to a sense of balance in life, an ability to be at peace through the activities of the day, an ability to rest and take time to enjoy beauty, an ability to pace ourselves. With our tendency to define people in terms of what they produce, we would do well to cultivate “holy leisure.” And if we expect to succeed in the contemplative arts, we must pursue, “holy leisure” with a determination that is ruthless to our datebooks. (p. 20-21)

To pray is to change. Prayer is the central avenue God uses to transform us. If we are unwilling to change, we will abandon prayer as a noticeable characteristic of our live.  (p. 30)

Fasting helps us keep our balance in life. How easily we begin to allow nonessentials to take precedence in our lives. How quickly we crave things we do not need until we are enslaved by them. Pal wrote, “’All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be enslaved by anything” (1 Cor. 6:12). Our human cravings and desires are like a river that tends to overflow its banks; fasting helps keep them in their proper channel. “I pommel my body and subdue it,” said Paul (1 Cor. 9:27). Likewise, David wrote, “I afflicted myself with fasting” (Ps. 35:13). That is no asceticism: it is discipline and discipline brings freedom. In the fourth century, Asterius said that fasting insured that the stomach would not make the body boil like a kettle to the hindering of the soul. (p. 49)

The purpose of the Spiritual Disciplines is the total transformation of the person. It aims at replacing old destructive habits of thought with new life-giving habits. Nowhere is this purpose more clearly seen than in the Discipline of study. (p. 54)

Study produces joy. Like any novice we will find it hard work in the beginning. But the greater our proficiency the greater our joy. Alexander Pope said, “There is no study that is not capable of delighting us after a little application of it.” Study is well worth our most serious effort. (p. 66)

Inwardly modern man is fractured and fragmented. He is trapped in a maze of completing attachments. One moment he makes decision on the basis of sound reason and the next moment out of fear of what others will think of him. He has no unity or focus around which life is oriented. . . Because we lack a divine Center our need for security has led us into an insane attachment to things. We must clearly understand that the lust for affluence in contemporary society is psychotic. It is psychotic because it has completely lost touch with reality. We crave things we neither need nor enjoy. “We buy things we do not want to impress people we do not like.” (Arthur Gish) (p. 70)

The central point for the Discipline of simplicity is to seek the kingdom of God and the righteous of his kingdom first—then everything necessary will come in its proper order.

Obviously these matters are not restricted to possession but include such things as our reputation or our employment. Simplicity means the freedom to trust God for these (and all) things. (p. 77)

God give us the courage, wisdom and strength always to hold as the number-one priority of our lives to “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,” understanding all that this implies. To do so is to live in simplicity. (p. 78-83)

Our fear of being alone drives us to noise and crowds. (p. 84)

We can cultivate an inner solitude and silence that sets us free from loneliness and fear. Loneliness is inner emptiness. Solitude is inner fulfillment. Solitude is not first a place but a state of mind and heart. (p. 84)

There is a solitude of the heart that can be maintained at all times. In the midst of noise and confusion we are settled into a deep inner silence. (p. 84)

In Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer titled one of his chapters “The Day Together” and perceptively titled the following chapter “The Day Alone.” Both are essential for spiritual success. He wrote:

Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. . .. Let him who is not in community beware of being alone. . .. Each by itself has profound pitfall and perils. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infatuation, and despair.

Therefore we must seek out the recreating stillness of solitude if we want to be with others meaningfully. We must seek the fellowship and accountability of others if we want to be alone safely We must cultivate both if we are to live in obedience. (p. 84)

The purpose of silence and solitude is to be able to see and hear. (p.86)

Thomas à Kempis wrote, “It is easier to be silent altogether than to speak with moderation.” (p.87)

One of the fruits of silence is the freedom to let our justification rest entirely with God. We don’t need to straighten others out. There is a story of a medieval monk who was being unjustly accused of certain offenses. One day he looked out his window and watched a dog biting and tearing on a rug that had been hung out to dry. As he watched, the Lord spoke to him saying, “That is what I am doing to your reputation. But if you will trust Me you will not need to worry about the opinion of others.” Perhaps more than anything else, silence brings us to believe that God can justify and set things straight. (p. 88)

What freedom is corresponds to submission? It is the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to get our own way.  (p. 106)

As the cross is the sign of submission, so the towel is the sign of service. (p. 110)

We serve out of whispered promptings, divine urgings. Energy is expended but it is not the frantic energy of the flesh. Thomas Kelly writes, “I find He never guides us into an intolerable scramble of panting feverishness.”

Since it is living out of a new Center of Reference the divine nod of approval is completely sufficient.

True service is free of the need to calculate results. (p. 112)

Self-righteous service fractures community. True service, on the other hand, builds community. (p. 113)

Service that is duty-motivated breathes death. Service that flows out of our inward person is life, and joy, and peace. (p. 122)

The confession of evil works is the first beginning of good works. – Augustine of Hippo (p. 125)

To worship is to experience reality, to touch Life. It is to know, to feel, to experience the resurrected Christin the midst of the gathered community. It is a breaking into the Shekinah (The glory or radiance of God dwelling in the midst of His people. It denotes the immediate Presence of God as opposed to a God who is abstract or aloof.) of God, or better yet, being invaded by the Shekinah of God. (p. 138)

Worship is human response to divine initiative. (p. 138)

If the Lord is to be Lord, worship must have priority in our lives. The first commandment of Jesus is “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength” (Mk. 12:30). The divine priority is worship first, service second. Our lives are to be punctuated with praise, thanksgiving and adoration. Service flows out of worship. Service as a substitute for worship is idolatry. Activity may become the enemy of adoration. . . For the Old Testament priesthood, ministry to Him was to precede all other work. And that is no less true of the universal priesthood of the New Testament. One grave temptation we all face is to run around answering calls to service without ministering to the Lord himself. (p. 140)

In our day heaven and earth are on tiptoe waiting for the emerging of a Spirit-led, Spirit-intoxicated, Spirit-empowered people. (p. 151)

God does guide the individual richly and profoundly, but He also guides groups of people and can instruct the individual through the group experience. (p. 151)

We would be well advised to encourage groups of people who are willing to fast, pray, and worship together until they have discerned the mind of the Lord and have heard His call. (p. 152)

Celebration is central to the Spiritual Disciplines. Without a joyful spirit of festivity the Disciplines become dull, death-breathing tools in the hands of modern Pharisees. Every discipline should be characterized by carefree gaiety and a sense of thanksgiving. (p. 164)

In the spiritual life only one thing will produce genuine joy, and that is obedience.  “Blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” (Lk. 11:28). (p. 165)

We have seen how meditation heightens our spiritual sensitivity, which in turn leads us to prayer. Very soon we discover that prayer involves fasting as an accompanying means. Informed by these three Disciplines we can effectively move into study which gives us discernment about ourselves and the world in which we live.

Through simplicity e live with others in integrity. Solitude allows us to genuinely present to people when we are with them. Through submission we live with others without manipulation, and through service we are a blessing to them.

Confession frees us from ourselves and releases us to worship. Worship opens the door to guidance. All Disciplines freely exercised bring froth the doxology of celebration.

The classical Disciplines of the spiritual life beckon us to the Himalayas of the Spirit. Now we stand at timberline awed by the snowy peaks before us. We step out in confidence with our Guide who has blazed the trail and conquered the highest summit.  (p. 171) 

Batter my heart, three-person’d God; for you As yet but knock; breathe, shine, and seek to mend; That I may rise and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new. I, like an usurp’d town to another due, Labor to admit you, but oh, to no end; Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend, But is captiv’d and proves weak or untrue. Yet dearly I love you, and would be lov’d fain, But I am bethroth’d unto your enemy; Divorce me, untie or break that knot again, Take me to you, imprison me, for I, Except you enthrall me, never shall be free, Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me. (John Donne, Holy Sonnets XIV)

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is
the kingdom,
the power and
the glory,
for ever and ever.

If This Bird Could Talk, What Would It Say?

This is from the Friday Freewrite by Julie Bogart at Bravewriter:


http://blog.bravewriter.com/2018/03/30/friday-freewrite-talking-bird/

So here goes. Just for fun. I will just do a 10 minute one this morning. 

This is the bird talking:

The sunrise was brilliant this morning, and it got my heart to singing praise to God for the dawn of a new day. I see those people inside their houses with the lights on. They are busily rushing here and there getting ready for their work day. I am just looking at the sunrise. Why will they not look up and out the window at this glorious display of God's brilliance right out their window? It would really be great if they would even open the window and hear me singing my song! Oh those humans, they just do not look UP, and they "labor and spin" about all sorts of things. Oh, there is mother yelling at her kids at the breakfast bar. Barking orders like a drill sergeant. She really needs to look outside.

Oh well, I will just fly. The Oregon rain has cleared and I am soaring, soaring, soaring through the blue sky from one tree to the next. Oh, the brilliance of Oregon in the spring! Look at that ornamental cherry tree at the H's house! It is a little later than last year, but it was worth the wait to see it popping with pink!

I know there are some people sneezing in this sort of season, and it is a shame that they cannot come out and walk because of their allergies. I am so glad that birds like me do not get allergies like some people do.

Oh I am singing, singing, singing. It is a new day. In fact, it is not just any new day but Good Friday. The rooster crowed and Peter wept, and I will sing because it is Friday but Sunday is coming. The dawn of a new day and era.

I wonder what happened to that turkey that was in this neighborhood making all that noise for months on end. He/She seems to have disappeared. I am sure the neighbors here are so happy to see that bird gone. My song is so much more melodic. That bird was annoying to all of the birds in the neighborhood.

I know this is Friday so that tall lady at 910 is going to be coming out in the afternoon and bringing bread to another neighbor. There are some new people on the block she has not brought bread to these days. I wonder if she will bring more than one loaf. Maybe she will bring bread to the lady who lost her husband about 6 weeks ago.

Well, I must be flying on to other places beyond this neighborhood. A birds work is never done. Have a wonderful Good Friday one and all. Remember: IT IS FRIDAY BUT SUNDAY IS COMING!

I will be tweeting again very soon. 

10. In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership by Nouwen

This is a simple book but powerful. Nouwen looks at the three temptations presented to Christ and likens them to the temptations we face as leaders and their remedies:

TEMPTATION: To be Relevant
QUESTION: Do you love me? (from John 21)
DISCIPLINE: Contemplative Prayer

TEMPTATION: To be Spectacular
TASK: Feed My Sheep
DISCIPLINE: Confession and Forgiveness

TEMPTATION: To be Powerful
CHALLENGE: Somebody Else Will Take You
DISCIPLINE: Theological Reflection (Which means "thinking with the mind of Christ. Theology's original meaning was "union with God in prayer.") 

It was a quick but good read. 

9. The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis

Another fabulous read doing it with the Renovare Book Club. An expert on C.S. Lewis is guiding us through it with a Spiritual Formation lens. It has been really good! 

Screwtape clarifies the Enemy's intent:
   "Of course I know that the Enemy also wants to detach men from themselves, but in a different way. Remember always, that He really likes the little vermin, and sets an absurd value on the distinctness of every one of them. When He talks of their losing their selves, He only means abandoning the clamour of self-will; once they have done that, He really gives them back all their personality, and boast (I am afraid, sincerely) that when they are wholly His they will be more themselves than ever. Hence, while He is delighted to see them sacrificing even their innocent wills to His, He hates to see them drifting away from their nature for any other reason. And we should always encourage them to do so.

Another good quote:

"The great thing is to prevent his doing anything. As long as he does not convert it into action, it does not matter how much he thinks about this new repentance. Let the little brute wallow in it. Let him, if he has any bent that way, write a book about it; that is often an excellent way of sterilizing the seeds which the Enemy plants in a human soul. Let him do anything but act. No amount of piety in his imagination and affections will harm us if we can keep it out of his will. As one of the humans has said, active habits are strengthened by repetition but passive ones are weakened. The more often he feels without acting, the less he will be able to ever to  act, and, in the long run, the less he will be able to feel."

Freewrite to Freedom Fifteen

Yesterday morning was great. Here is what I wrote to my "Terrific Ten" Prayer Team (Ten friends who are so committed to praying for me that I cry. It is a mixture of my hubby, college best friend, four women who graduated from our training, three local buddies (one of whom also graduated from our training), and a woman I used to mentor): 

This morning was so lovely. I met with a girl going overseas. She had listened to talks by my friends, and when she contacted them, they referred her to me. I sat with this lovely woman and listened to her doubts about hearing the voice of God, her second guessing, her fears, her false narratives, and then we went to prayer; creating space for her to just listen, recording the journey so she can see God's pattern, unique to her. 

God gives perfect calm going into these times for I know he always shows up. I just go with no expectation of how he will speak or how he will move: but he always does.. He gave her such strong pictures of Himself - smashing the false narratives, gently leading her beside quiet waters. And he even gave her words regarding her belovedness and an identity name. Today was the beginning of something so beautiful for her. There is no doubt that there is a God. Another God miracle on the crying couch. Heaven touching earth. I am in awe.

At the end, I gave her a copy of my Renovare Institute monthly assignment on hearing God's voice (if you want a copy I could send it to you) and a little handout on examen prayer  that will help her in the upcoming cross-cultural move.

As usual, as the hours have passed I have become more and more pensive. I cannot explain it, but this happens to me sometimes after sweet breakthroughs with people. I am listening to Elevation Worship (does anyone else just love them?), but I am still pensive. That is not necessarily bad. 

I would just appreciate prayer. I cannot even explain it. Just feel like crying pensive tears. A breakthrough for me is on the way. I just know it. So I would appreciate prayer.

Pushing the button of vulnerability. 

I got such a sweet response back from one of the friends:

Thank you for sharing this… I will be praying for her, and for you too! What a powerful encounter… My first thought when I read it was I completely resonate… After times of intense and exciting breakthrough I often go through a similar time of “valley” I never know if it is good/bad/otherwise but definitely a pattern I know from the inside… but when I read your account my mind thought of Jesus and his encounter with the woman with bleeding who received healing when touching His hem…. “I felt power go out from me…” I wonder if Jesus experienced similar times of depletion (?) or as you put it pensiveness after times of great encounter? Just something I’m thinking about. I’d love a copy of the assignment you mentioned and of course will pray for you to be able to rest and restore after giving out to this young lady.

I had just meditated on the story of the women who touches Jesus' robe the day before. I think I was a bit depleted. The good news is, I didn't turn to overeating or watching TV to avoid the pensiveness. I just let God minister to me in my pensiveness. This is huge for me. I think it would have been different had my friend picked me up for lunch right after like we had planned, but she had the death of a friend. I think I was so looking forward to some face-to-face connection with her and debriefing with her (of course not giving any details of the encounter with this woman), and I didn't get that. I use my time wisely by reviewing some reading and writing my academic assignment for Renovaré Institute, but then night came, and I felt so pensive. It was really good though. I was vulnerable, and my besties responded with promises of prayer, and I think it really did lift. I also got a sweet response from one of the fellow members in my Renovaré Cohort who said he was praying Proverbs 11:25 for me:

A generous person will prosper;

whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

Then I wrote the young woman and said, "God did a good thing today." And she replied, "Yes, definitely. A lot of confirmation. :)"  

I love my life. It all was wrapped up in a big bow at bedtime. I woke up this morning so refreshed and alive Proverbs 11:25 style, and it followed with two fast-paced Pilates classes. I had such good classes this term. They were really life-giving for me and many are returning for next term. I love this age group. (I did have one 60 year old faculty member that was delightful too.)

Tonight feels so lovely. :) 

 

8. Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God by Dallas Willard

I thought I had already written a review of this, but I don't think I did! This is my second time through. This is an updated version of the original that was called In Search of Guidance. I think this is THE best book on hearing God's voice. This is one to give to people who doubt that you can hear Him. Willard gives a scriptural base for his thesis. It is a great book. The updating and expanding did not make it too different from the original. The exercises written by Jan Johnson were nice, but I didn't find the outstanding. I also have the DVD series by the same title, and I realized I never finished it. I may do that tonight! 

Having a conversational relationship with God is the bomb! I highly recommend it! TTFN! 

7. The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom

I read this again for the Renovaré Book Club. It is great! 

Here is a link to my previous read in 2014 after I went to her home in Holland:

http://carolhomeschool2.blogspot.com/2014/12/48-hiding-place-by-corrie-ten-boom.html

Here is a link to ALL of my pictures from that visit:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/52364318@N00/albums/72157644976746148

Freewrite Fifteen - Been Too Long

I have not posted here since February 17 and have not done a freewrite since February 10. That is a whole month! So, this is a FREE SATURDAY, and my sleepy men will be in bed for a while. YAY! 

OK, I love Alexa. OK, everyone thinks Amazon is taking over the world. I still think they are not terrible like Walmart (read Big Box Swindle if you don't believe they are), and they are going everywhere, but I find these Alexa really wonderful for worship. I listen to music, and then I have made a Praise and Worship Playlist, and I love, love, love it. I am not one to make the efforts to look for music or even buy it (I have a $1 digital credit from Amazon right now and have to think of a song to buy - decisions, decisions). So, I can be having my time with God and a song will come to mind, and I ask her to play it for me during my time with Him. Worship has been great. 

Speaking of worship. We interceded seriously for Syria on Thursday night, and one of the guys broke into spontaneous song, and there was such hearty oneness as we sang. AND, the next day, 13 aid trucks made it into Damascus after many attempts having failed. I love this group in so many ways, and their commitment to pray for the world warms my heart. When we pray for the world, we have to repent of our "first world problems" that trip us up all the time. We could be in Syria right now wondering if a bomb was going to drop or in a hot refugee camp on the border. We must be thankful. We must care and pray. One of us will be going to one of those camps in the next year and living near there to provide medical care. We must be the change we want to see in this world. 

So we pray. 

I have not done a freewrite about my time in Sumas, Washington. First of all, YAY, I drove up there in snow, ice, traffic, and I made it! YAY! It was calming to have the recordings of the guides for all the weeks of the Online Retreat. It was so good to review all the things that I learned on the three months journey with the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. I loved that. 

The residency was good. I made deeper connection with a few more people, and learned to not be afraid of one of them. They are a nice group of people. The content is very basic, but the cumulative effect of the full curriculum is very powerful. It is a lovely review of all I learned at the Navigator Summer Training Program at Multnomah School of the Bible in 1981. I like my new small group, and I can tell we are already going to get deeper more quickly than my other group that took a while to click but ended up being really nice. This group is pretty vulnerable and older. (I was the oldest person in the last one.) They are so different and both lovely. I love the sincerity of the people in the whole cohort, and the leaders have great hearts. This residency was much better, but I never know what to say when people want me to tell everyone in the group what we learned. I liked that we didn't have to speak into microphones for this one, and I liked the setting so much better. There were great trails, and there were no statues to other gods at this retreat center. That made it much easier for me to enjoy and focus. 

I wrote a poem, and I will post it here if I get up the nerve. I learned that Jesus is with me even when I feel very insecure. I had too high of expectations for this group of people, and now I have adjusted them. It seems like the more I adjust them, the better it is. It is filled with many introverts. I am an introvert who has been trained to be outgoing and inquisitive. I am so thankful for my parents in that regard. One woman really helped me understand the dynamics that go on when many people in leadership get together. That was really helpful for me to understand. :) 

So, I am done with my fifteen. Now on to my prayer of examen. 

A Healthy Two

When Twos are healthy and in balance, they really are loving, helpful, generous, and considerate. People are drawn to them like bees to honey. Healthy Twos warm others in the glow of their hearts. They enliven others with their appreciation and attention, helping people to see positive qualities in themselves that they had not previously recognized. In short, healthy Twos are the embodiment of “the good parent” that everyone wishes they had: someone who sees them as they are, understands them with immense compassion, helps and encourages with infinite patience, and is always willing to lend a hand—while knowing precisely how and when to let go. Healthy Twos open our hearts because theirs are already so open and they show us the way to be more deeply and richly human.

Ignatian Retreat - Evaluation Questions

This Ignatian Adventure has been the greatest thing about the last three months. It is not part of the Renovaré Institute, but the Prayer of Examen is (we read A Simple Life-Changing Prayer by Manny), and it led me to do this retreat. 

Here is a summary of what the Spiritual Exercises are all about:

1. Encounter the living God and God’s presence in creation, their personal life stories and current life circumstances;

2. Better discern their deepest desires to understand God’s call and presence in their lives and in the world; and

3. Become Contemplatives in Action; experiencing and grasping more deeply the Ignatian vision of Finding God in All Things.

I felt I needed to let God lead me through it rather than go through the predetermined format of the liturgical year. (I also wanted it to line up with what our Kingdom Community is meditating on throughout the week.) Most SEEL (Spiritual Exercises in Everyday Life) are formatted around our busy lives. One book I have says that it is about 30-45 minutes a day of focused prayer time; and because I have been given the sleepless elite gene, I decided to steward it well by giving my mornings to more extended times of prayer through these exercises. So, I focused on the grace for the week by listening to the great online retreat recordings that I had loaded on to my iPhone and played through my Echo every morning as I made my tea. 

Ignatius was big on flexibility. There is the 30 day retreat (20th Annotation) where one goes to a retreat center and goes through all the exercises in that period of time. This is very expensive ($4195), and the closest one for me is 10 hours away in Los Altos, California. I wish I could do it someday though, but the one in 2018 is while we are in France.

There are many nine-month programs (19th Annotation according to Ignatius). My friend is in one in Portland where she has assignments each day for 30 minutes and then goes to a retreat center one Saturday morning a month. She also meets with a spiritual director ($445 but not sure if it includes the spiritual director meeting). 

I evaluated much of this with my spiritual director, and it was so great. She is trained in leading someone through the Spiritual Exercises, and I love her insights.

One question from the reflection week of the retreat was where I wanted to focus in this freewrite:

Did I experience conflicts, difficult times, differently because of how I placed them in the context of being with and in Jesus during this retreat?

Absolutely, positively YES! I can honestly say that this was the BEST thing about the retreat for me. I found myself bringing Jesus into these difficulties in real time. 

Often, when things are difficult, I pretty quickly turn to the Lord after the conflict, but during the retreat I found myself sensing his presence as it occurred. He gave me such grace to handle three difficult situations between December 23 and January 14 as they were occurring. It was really cool. So, I am grateful for the real time engagement with Jesus during it, and all three of them ended up with such peace and resolve. Two involved me engaging head on and getting apologies that I did not expect, but the third, I felt God saying to let it go and move on and let George handle things from here on out, and we got an apology for that one too! So, amazing! 

So, I am sold on these exercises for everyone! I heartily recommend it. I don't know if I would ever do the 30 day retreat because I don't think I could be away from George for all that time! Plus, it is very expensive, but maybe I could do an abbreviated 8 day one or something like that. 

Well, I am off to do other things. 

Shepherd Me, O God

Refrain
Shepherd me, O God, beyond my wants,
beyond my fears, from death into life.

1. God is my shepherd, so nothing I shall want,
I rest in the meadows of faithfulness and love,
I walk by the quiet waters of peace.

2. Gently you raise me and heal my weary soul,
you lead me by pathways of righteousness and truth,
my spirit shall sing the music of your Name.

3. Though I should wander the valley of death,
I fear no evil, for you are at my side,
your rod and your staff, my comfort and my hope.

4. You have set me a banquet of love in the face of hatred,
crowning me with love beyond my pow'r to hold.

5. Surely your kindness and mercy follow me all the days of my life;
I will dwell in the house of my God forevermore.

Ingnatian Retreat Week 33 -- God’s Love for Us, Our Response

Used with permission.
http://magis.creighton.edu/~dollsj/

First Point.  This is to recall to mind the blessings of creation and redemption, and the special favors I have received.

I will ponder with great affection how much God our Lord has done for me, and how much He has given me of what He possesses, and finally, how much, as far as He can, the same Lord desires to give Himself to me according to His divine decrees.

Then I will reflect upon myself, and consider, according to all reason and justice, what I ought to offer the Divine Majesty, that is, all I possess and myself with it.  Thus, as one would who is moved by great feeling, I will make this offering of myself:

Receive, O Lord, all my liberty.
Take my memory, my understanding, and my entire will.
Whatsoever I have or hold, You have given me;
I give it all back to You
and surrender it wholly to be governed by your will.
Give me only your love and your grace,
and I am rich enough and ask for nothing more.
(Spiritual Exercises, #234) 

Another translation:
Take, Lord, and receive
all my liberty, my memory,
my understanding, my entire will—
all that I am and possess.
You have given all this to me.
I now return it all to you.
It is yours now.
Use these gifts according to your will.
Give me only your love and your grace.
That is enough for me, and all that I desire.


"I ask God to give me an intimate knowledge 
of the many gifts I have received, 
that filled with gratitude for all, 
I may in all things 
love and serve the Divine Majesty." 
(Spiritual Exercises, #233) 

Intimate knowledge.
That's what I ask you for, Lord.  
I want that insight, that understanding, that knowledge
that will be about our intimacy.

Many gifts.
Let me count the ways you have loved me.
The gifts of your love.
All that you have given me.
All that I am.
I so often look at my shortcomings.
Let me see the gifts.
All of them.

Filled with gratitude.
Fill me, Lord, with gratitude.
Let my heart, 
sometimes filled with so much else,
be filled with thanksgiving.
Give me the feelings of gratitude,
of a grateful heart.
Joy, freedom, peace, generosity.

In all things love and serve.
Let the overflowing gratitude in my heart
touch all the things and people in my life.
Every thought, word and deed.
Every hurt, every slight, every loss.
Every reaction and response.
Every opportunity and choice.
Every offering of myself.
In all,
let me love and serve you.
Amen.

6. Retreat in the Real World: Finding Intimacy with God Wherever You Are

I have been doing the Creighton University Online Retreat since the Fall so I decided to get the print version of the online retreat to take it with me when I do not have easy access to internet. I love this book! I just read an article about how the Online Retreat came to be, and I love the spirit in which it was started:

https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2016/10/19/if-youre-reading-you-can-take-spiritual-exercises-online

This is an adaptation of the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola. It is an "annotation" as he recommended a 30 day retreat at a retreat center with daily spiritual direction. I looked up the prices of this, and it is about 3000! So, this is a FREE option if you do the online, and in some ways, it is more practical because you invite God into your everyday life rather than remove yourself from everyday life in order to go on this retreat. 

I started this in the fall, and I have gone at a faster speed than the weeks because I wanted the weeks to line up with where our Kingdom Community is, and we usually get to the Crucifixion about a month earlier than the liturgical year because we learn the stories before Holy Week so we can tell our friends. I love that they are overlapping now.

It is a lovely thing. There is more on the site than is in the book so I use them both together. I especially like that the site has the chapter recorded so I put them on my iPhone and listen to them almost every morning. I listen to the same chapter day after day. The real proof will be if I am really bringing God into my everyday life, and my life is being transformed as a result, and I would say a hearty, "YES!" I wish everyone could do this! 

I have thought about adapting bits of it for evangelicals because just a few things in the books that I had to adapt, but it is pretty minor, really. I love that they made it so it was less theological and more pastoral (read the article I linked).

I still would like to do a 30 day retreat (the closest one for me is 10 hours away in Los Altos in the summer), but this has been delightful for me.

I wanted other to join me next year, but I have gotten a rather "dull" response from others. So, I might just have to can that idea for another option. I wanted to do an adaptation and incorporate the things I am learning in the Renovaré Institute. Maybe I will make it more Spiritual Formation and add Ignatian Spirituality elements to it. I also would maybe like to do it for the world-wide group that we are a part of. That might reach a wider variety of people.

Well, I am 81%, but I had some time this morning to write the review. So, I am just going to post it and share the joy I have experienced with this book.

Here is the link to the Online version of the book:

http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/RetreatintheRealWorld/

Fifteen Minute Freewrite

I really should be going out in the sunshine, but I am going to pause and write for just fifteen minutes. I think this is the longest I have gone in years without a freewrite. The last one was 1/7/18. So, here I go.

The sun is shining, and George is cutting the grass. I just finished grading all my papers for 56 students. One of my favorite students had to drop the class this last week. She had too much on her plate. I am really glad that PAC is going to allow students to take the classes for non-credit. I don't know how it will work with the papers though. I think they still have to complete it? I will have to look up what the protocol is for the class. I also have my first Faculty/Staff taking on of my PAC classes. I didn't know that Faculty/Staff could take one of my classes. I will have to tell friends who want to take my class that they can do that. This term it is pretty easy to do so because I have the big room in Langton for my Pilates I class. Usually, I have to limit the number of people in my room because the other one is too small to hold more than 30 people comfortably. This one could easily even hold 50, but that would be too many papers to grade.

I am evaluating whether I will continue with my "Light" version of the training group we do. I have a "full-leaded" version this year, and the "light" version from last year wanted to keep on meeting ever other week, but often, they look to me to lead it when I am there, and I end up leading it when I would prefer not to. So, I am wondering if I were not there if I would not be looked to in that way. It is a casual leading. I need to really pray. Is it a time for coaching beyond what they learned in the first group? I am not sure it is so well-defined. I know that it was R who really wanted to continue to meet, and she seems to be really applying what she learned in the first year of training. 

I leaver for my second Renovaré Residency next week, and I am excited this time. I am not afraid. I am not tired. I am glad to go. I will not be staying with someone who has something really heavy going on prior to the time in the residency. SO that will be good. I will also not have to fly. Although driving through Seattle can sometimes be very stressful for me. I am in a great place to absorb. I can also take all my accouterments for keeping my back in great shape: my roller, Pilates mat, band, etc. It will be great. Also, we are not going to a "all faiths" retreat center that have statues to foreign gods! That will really help me. I am also just feeling so strengthened these days. God is always with me, but I am so much more aware of it these days, even in the midst of other things going on that are difficult. So I am so grateful!

I have really, really liked doing the Creighton University Online Retreat. Every morning, I get up and listen to the fifteen minute audio and then I meditate on the verses for the day and pray through the examen. I am in a great rhythm with all of that, and I look forward to finishing up with all of that around Easter. What a joy that has been for me. 

I have really liked the new training group too. We started with nine people, but one of the people was just not ready for the intense commitment that in entails, and she took the January off-ramp that we suggested she take if she was not able to balance work, school, and the training. It has really helped solidify our group making us very cohesive and committed. I love it! Thursday we did something we have never done before. We had them get together in discipleship pairs and one disciple the other for 25 minutes a piece. It was great! 

I need to melt some pounds away these days. I have been moving much less than I usually do because I broke my toe. The last week was better than the week before so I won't beat myself up for that. 

I heard George finish mowing the lawn. So I think I will go see if he wants to go for a walk. 

5. The Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ by Jeanne Guyon

I have read this many years ago, and then I gave away my copy. Then, it was part of our Renovare reading for this term.

I loved it. It is really a lovely book. I loved these two reviews. So I will let them to the talking for me! 

https://daviddflowers.com/2008/04/27/experiencing-the-depths-of-jesus-christ-book-review/

http://www.passtheword.org/DIALOGS-FROM-THE-PAST/methodofprayer.htm