Sunday Seventeen Freewrite

 

New Tea Pot and One of the Cups

I have not written a freewrite for so long. I thought I would write in a different font. I am going to try to do this for the next three days. Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. Wednesday, we are off to Anne's wedding, and I don't think I will be able to type out anything because we will be on the road.

So, I wanted to write about Centering Prayer. I just came out of a 30-minute sit with the Corvallis group. They are seasoned in this, and I like sitting with them in silence for that long. It seemed like it went really quickly this time. Sometimes I am tempted to look at a clock when it is that long. I find I started out looking 8 minutes in when I tried the longer sits about 4 1/2 years ago, but then it stretched to 12. Then it was 16 and sometimes I went all the way through a 20-minute sit without looking. Then I started doing it with the nuns in London, their sits were 25 minutes. So I would go into 21 minutes without looking. I think this is the first time I have done a 30 minute sit without peaking or wondering when it was going to be over. I was surprised when the 30 minutes was over today.

The fruit of it is that I am pretty settled right now. So, when I am in the middle of something in my day, and the opportunity comes to sit, I need to stop everything and just sit! It will be so good for me. I feel like it truly does CENTER me and ground me. It is a good middle of the day practice to recenter myself on the presence of God. He read a nice reading from John Philip Newell. I am not sure if I have ever heard of him before. 

Today, Manar and I are cooking a big Saudi main dish of Chicken and Rice. I am excited about that. She will not be over for a couple of hours. So I am resting.

I was able to clarify with someone about my leaving a text loop. I am part of so many loops and Signal/WhatsApp Chats. When I realized I was not going to be able to go to the thing they were planning, I exited the conversation. I was a bit hurt, AT FIRST, that they were not willing to entertain another date because the one they were planning was just not a good one for me (the worst day of the month, by far), but that was only at first, I really needed to ask God what He wanted me to do, and I just need to stay out of the loop on some things. And that was one thing that I was going to need to stay out of the loop on. Originally, I was hoping for a cozy dinner with just one other couple asking deeper questions, but it was just not going to work out for their busy lives. So they wanted to combine it with two other families and kids. No longer a cozy dinner, and not my cup of tea! 

Speaking of "cup of tea," I love my new tea pot and cup set that came about three weeks late and missed Christmas entirely. It just has stars on it. So I am using it for January!

I hope that this trip to Arizona is a good time for George and I just to be together. We have not had a vacation together with just the two of us since November 2019. We had just one little two nighter at the coast for our 30 wedding anniversary (at the same place we had out honeymoon). So it is time to have multiple days with just the two of us (except Saturday night and Sunday of the wedding we are going to). I just felt we needed to drive which is so weird. I am not sure why I want to and may regret all that time in the car. I am hoping we can listen to a book or two together. :)

Well, I don't have much time on the timer left, but I want to say I am SUPER PEACEFUL. Oh, by the way, I have been Immanuel journaling with my adaptations, and it has really been helpful. I had something that triggered me yesterday at the memorial service, and it was good to journal through that, and then read my journaling to George. He felt the SAME WAY about the person we interacted with. He just thought, "There problem. They are kind of a cold and awkward person." I think, "What did I do wrong?" So interesting how we both see the same things, but I always think things are because I have done something wrong or they have heard something negative about me which is weird because I cannot think of what they would have heard that is negative. 

So, it was good to journal through that.

Freewrite over. The timer is ringing. Good-bye.