48. A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life

 

 

I read a pamphlet by William in my 20s, thinking it was his whole book. Now I see it was only an edited version of that book that is over 300 pages. Renovare Book Club is reading this next year so it is forcing me to read the whole thing!

Written in 1729, it is a bit dated but has some great pearls of wisdom. I found him a bit "do this" "don't do that" kind of person rather than how I see the desire to do God's will coming out of intimacy with Him rather than behavior modification. Law wrote this in his early 30s, and he may have had more of an "overflow of the love of God" kind of mentality later on in life. 

This book is about the close relationship between the devotional life and practical service to others. It is about being "forever great in the presence of God" rather than the eyes of the world because the church of his time had fallen into mediocrity.  What I found interesting is that William Law's writings influenced William Wilberforce (one of my heroes) the Wesley brothers (although he was sharply criticized by John Wesley when Law turned to mysticism later in life), Gibbon, George Whitefield, and Samuel Johnson!

I found this had some real gems and some very slow parts. Overall, I am glad I read the whole thing! 

47. The Way of All Flesh

This is a satirical, semiautobiographical Bildungsroman (a literary genre that focuses on the psychological and moral growth of the protagonist from youth to adulthood, in which character change is important. The term comes from the Germon words Bildung ("education") and Roman ("novel"). In this novel, the protagonist is Ernest Pontifex. The style reminded me of Dickens, and I laughed out loud on some points. It is very anti-Victorian and anti-Christianity which reflects the authors own feelings. 

I was surprised how much I enjoyed this! 

How to Pray Week Four - Chapters 7-8: Unanswered Prayer, Contemplation

 

How to Pray Study Guide Questions: Chapters 7-8

Week 4 Asking (pt. 2) and Yield (pt. 1)

Read:

Chapter 7:  Unanswered Prayer

Chapter 8:  Contemplation

Key verse: “Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” – Matthew 6:10

Summary points

· The Bible is honest about unanswered prayer – we are part of a faith that is all about wrestling

· God’s world, God’s war, God’s will.

· God’s silence is not the same as his absence.

· Contemplative prayer is silent enjoyment of God’s loving presence.

· The contemplation journey has 3 stages:

o Meditation: “Me and God”

o Contemplation: “God and me”

o Communion: “only God” 

Questions

Q. Have you ever felt God’s silence/absence in seasons of your life and faith? How did you respond? How has the reality of unanswered prayer affected your relationship with God?

The first thing that comes to mind is my time surrounding my move to Eugene. I was SO overwhelmed with my career (working 60-80 hour weeks) in a new city, living alone. Once I moved in with Gwen, things turned radically around. I think I realized how much we need community for growth. (“There is a strong temptation toward self-isolation when our souls are overwhelmed” [p. 117].) He led me to not speak at the Women’s Conference and to go to the Proclaim Conference (now Mission Connection) and re-meeting with George and what God had told me before that, connecting miraculously with Steve, going to Thailand. I really feel I left Corvallis because of fear and giving up on the vision he had given me. I was also running away from my two best guy friends getting married. “God’s greatest refusals were sometimes the true answers to our truest prayer” (PT Forsyth). I see that he wanted to give me the BEST (and that was a new vision and George as my husband) and “exceeding abundantly beyond what I could ever ask or imagine” (Eph 3:20). The dark night I experienced made me also get some help and career counseling from Shari’s mom who helped me find out what was a better fit for me career-wise. Financial aid counseling was NOT it!  

I think unanswered prayer has taught me the beauty of “waiting” (Kavah in Hebrew) and persevering in prayer. I pray toward the peace of God. It has bound me closer to him rather than made me angry at him or doubt his kindness. He knows what is best for me. “His trains are always on time and never miss their connections” (Ginny Bowen).

Q. How do you think we can get better, as communities, at dealing with the realities and challenges of unanswered prayer?

Let people feel their feelings and encourage honesty with God. To listen and not judge like Job’s friends.

Q. How can we encourage one another in “faithfulness” as well as “faith”?

I am not sure I know how to answer this one. I can encourage others by example. I can encourage others by asking them to join me in my adventures in prayer. I can ask and listen when people tell me how they are experiencing God in their daily life.

Q: What is your initial reaction to the practice of contemplation? Does it excite you, scare you, or bore you?

 EXCITE! It is my favorite part of prayer. I love to commune with God. Thus, this was my favorite chapter.

Q. How does this quote from Mother Teresa challenge our culture’s attitude to social justice or practical action? “It’s not how much we do but how much love we put into the actions that we do.”

This is what I have talked with one of my directees, just this morning. It is about overflow. It is about operating out of that centered place with God, who is love. Then he oozes out into our actions.

 Q. It can be difficult to make time to pause and contemplate God. What rhythms could you put in place to grow this type of prayer in your life?

I take the time to contemplate in silence and centering prayer every day. I became more intentional when I was to "pick a practice" for my spiritual direction training in 2018. I remember reading a book where he said he did it twice a day for twenty minutes, and I said, "No way!" But I thought I would be intentional. I had practiced it when I first went to the Trappist Monastery in 2014 maybe, but it was not a regular practice of mine. 

I was inspired to pursue longer periods of it over the past two years since reading The Cloud of Unknowing and The Interior Castle. I began practicing it with others two-three times a week for 20 minutes (with 30-40 people by Zoom at 8:30 am on Sundays and 12:30 pm on Thursdays). I begin and end my Lectio Divina time with contemplation. The last step in Lectio Divina – “Silencio” is centering prayer contemplation and ‘apophatic” (prayer without words). I find it helpful to contemplate in the midst of chaos now too. 

Do It

Pete says, “Even when we don’t understand, we can still trust”. Take time to stop, pause, and recommit to trusting God in your life. You might like to play some worship music and spend time sitting and reflecting.

46. Bullfinch's Mythology

 "First published in three separate volumes from 1855 to 1863... It quickly became the standard source of classic tales from Ancient Greece and Rome, the Norse tradition, and beyond. This edition contains the full text of The Age of Fable, or Stories of Gods and Heroes, the first volume of Bulfinch's seminal work. From stories of the Greek gods of Mt. Olympus to retellings of the Illiad and the Odyssey, from descriptions of mythological monsters to tales of Hindu and Egyptian deities, Bulinch's versions of these classic stories bring their characters to life. Throughout the text, Bulfinch includes examples of literary interpretations of and allusions to the various stories and points out proverbial expressions that have their origins in the mythology he relates, making this a vital reference for students of literature as well as a delightfully vibrant collection of the stories that form our cultural heritage."

I totally agree with the above summary. I found this so interesting that he transfers these stories to the works by such literary giants as Byron, Tennyson, Milton, and Virgil; and works of art in places like the Louvre. It makes me wish I knew these myths better so that I could have understood many things I have read and seen over the years.

It was such a water hose of myths that it was hard to soak it all in. I wished I had an illustrated version! I followed The Iliad and Odyssey because I taught these two in classical literature with homeschoolers.

This book is not for everyone. I think most would find it quite dry. I found parts fascinating and parts dry. 

45. The Breath of Life by Ron DelBene

 

This was one of the books that were recommended in the book How to Pray, and I found it in a PDF on the author's website. How generous of him! It is a short book, and I found it helpful for understanding and explaining "Breath Prayer." Just the day before I read this, I had a session with a directee who relayed her "Blessed History" to me, and how she would say this short prayer to God through a very difficult time of her life, and how meaningful it was. She didn't even refer to it as a "Breath Prayer" though. 

According to the author:

The breath prayer is a short prayer of praise and petition that has been used since ancient times. As we breathe unceasingly, our breathing supports life and renews our corporeal system. When we use the breath prayer to develop our ability to pray unceasingly, God’s love supports and renews us.

 

Historically, the breath prayer rose out of the Psalms. Repeated phrases from the Psalms became short prayers to remind one of the entire psalm.

 

In some religious traditions, various forms of a breath prayer have been called “aspiratory” or “ejaculatory” prayers. The term aspiratory comes from the Latin word meaning “to breathe,” and ejaculatory from the sport of javelin throwing. Such prayers have traditionally been short and have risen from individual circumstances. In times of stress, need, or joy we may pray, “Jesus, help me” or “O God, hear my prayer” or “Praise to thee, O God.” Such prayers rise spontaneously from within, sometimes flowing from us without our being consciously aware that we are praying.

How to Pray Week Three - Chapters 5 & 6: Petition and Intercession

 

How to Pray Study Guide Questions: Chapters 5-6

Week 3 Asking (pt. 1)

 Read:

Chapter 5:  Petition

Chapter 6: Intercession

 Key verse: “Give us this day our daily bread” – Matthew 6:11

Summary points

· The Father loves to give good gifts.

· Traffic lights: Yes, Wait, No.

· Sometimes we need to “stack dominoes” and persevere in prayer

Questions

Q: It’s often easier to believe God can change things in our hearts rather than believing in things can see in the world. Do you agree?

There is a word missing, but I am going to assume the question is whether we think it is easier to believe God can change things in us personally rather than changing something outside of us in the world. I believe pretty equally in both. I can choose to obey. So I have a part in the change, but I have been interceding too long to not believe that God can change things in the world. I have no control over people’s choices, but I love to see God change people’s hearts. I have seen communism fall and more disciplemaking movements happening across the world than ever in history! Prayer changes me and the world.

Q: How often do you ask God for what you want as well as what you need?

When I was reading this chapter, I had just read about Jesus asking blind Bartimaeus, “What do you want me to do for you?” (This is a big moment in the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius. So I return to this passage frequently.)  I sometimes have a hard time knowing what I really and truly want. I believe God puts things on my heart, and I ask. Sometimes they seem pretty wild. Like when I saw a Suburban, and we were driving our truck with a baby and one on the way. I prayed for a Suburban and shortly after this George’s dad said, “I want to give you my Suburban.” Oh really? 

So the day Jesus asked me what I wanted after my usual time of being in the presence of God and then taking my prayer soaking walk, I said, “Lord, I have all I need, but I wouldn’t mind a kayak. Yes, I would like a kayak. And I would love it if George would go through the Spiritual Exercises again using the book I wrote. That seems pretty demanding since he has already gone through them before though."

Within hours, George mentioned in passing that he was praying the day before, and he felt like he would like to go through my guide to the Spiritual Exercises. I told him I had just prayed about it that morning, and he jokingly said, “So you were 24 hours late in hearing God!” LOL! Then a little later he said, “I just ordered  you a kayak from REI.” I didn’t know he had been looking for one for months for me. So those are a few fun stories. I believe he just wants to give good gifts.

Or the time I prayed the young women in the group I was mentoring would realize that my tea was low (that they drank every Sunday) so they could grow as guests in their future overseas. Of course, I could afford to go out and buy tea, but God laid it on my heart to pray it. 

The next day there was tea on my doorstep when I got home from shopping with a little note from one of the women. Then day after that, two of the women in my group were together, and secretly dropped by two more boxes (I saw them on my doorstep doing it but didn't want to spoil their "surprise").  A little later, I got money in the mail from another one of them saying that they wanted to reimburse me for all the tea and treats. And finally one of them came with a white trash bag filled with tea saying, "My mom was helping someone move, and this lady had all this tea, and I knew you love tea and have it for all of us and others." (I am STILL getting through that tea all these years later!)  So ASK, and he gives abundantly for his plans and purposes! WOOHOO! 

I agree that asking is because God is RELATIONAL, and he wants us to be VULNERABLE. As a Type Two on the Enneagram, I am not always in tune with what I want or need. It is vulnerable and scary for me to articulate it once I know what I want and need. 

I also think that God wants to give us the desires of our hearts (Ps 37). God laid buying a bigger house on my heart once, and I thought, “NO NO NO. I will not live the American dream! We are going back overseas! We want to keep our house small and be frugal!” But he kept saying he wanted us to have a bigger house. 

It was true that our house was getting quite small for the groups we were having over, and their ever-growing families. So, I told my friend Kim (and God) that I would like him to just drop something in our lap because we just didn’t want our whole lives to be dominated by a house hunt. I also said, “I would like him to drop a house like Dale and Mary’s house into our lap.” Their house would mean kids in the basement within earshot, and adults upstairs with prayer or Bible study, etc. 

I told her this on Friday, and on Tuesday, Dale and I were painting props for the church Christmas concert, and he said, “We are putting our house up for sale.” We made an offer within hours, and it has brought us 18 years of people from all over the world, eating, laughing, loving, praying, studying his word, doing spiritual direction, and listening prayer. SO GLAD God plopped it in our lap.  

Pete uses the traffic light analogy to describe different ways God responds to our prayers:

· Green: Yes

· Amber: Wait / Persevere

· Red: No

Q: Are you experiencing a “green”, “amber” or “red” response to any specific prayers at the moment?

I am one who loves a clear answer. I don’t have a problem with a “NO." I have even learned to just “WAIT” too! (I gave a whole message on waiting once.) I waited for my husband for years, and he was so worth the wait. 

I have seen him answer too many prayers that I had to wait YEARS for (like the salvation of all but one of my immediate family) to not persevere. He is faithful. YES, I have many things I have an amber-like on right now, but in the waiting (Hebrew word is qavah [kaw-vaw’] comes from a root that means “to bind together by twisting,” and I see waiting as an opportunity to bind my heart with God’s heart). There is one I pray for and hope for, and I am waiting with hopeful anticipation!

 

Do It

Take time to pray. Remember the following as you pray:

· Pray incrementally: Pray for a specific next step, rather than jumping to the top of the staircase

· Pray the promises of God: Is there a specific promise that relates to the situation?

 

 

You also might like to follow the P.R.A.Y model – start by pausing and welcome the Holy Spirit, then rejoice and give thanks before asking. Remember to yield and surrender everything back to God as you finish.

44. Sleeping with Bread

 I missed reviewing this little gem I read in August. This is a sweet way to look at the Examen. It includes the experiences of the three authors. 

Life is Simple

Life is this simple.

We are living in a world that is absolutely transparent and God is shining through it all the time.

This is not just a fable or a nice story.

 It is true.

If we abandon ourselves to God and forget ourselves, 

we see it sometimes and we see it maybe frequently.

God manifests himself everywhere, 

in everything, in people and in things and in nature and in events.

It becomes very obvious that he is everywhere 

and in everything and we cannot be without him.

You cannot be without God. 

It’s impossible.

 It’s simply impossible.

Thomas Merton

Freewrite Fifteen

 I remember in the "olden days" I would set my Flylady timer for my freewrites. Then I found an online timer. Now I have either Siri or Alexa help me out in that area. 

The timer is set for fifteen.

Today I woke up at 5:50 am. I had a time of Centering Breath Prayer. I decided my Breath Prayer would be "My God and my all" for this season of my life. That seems appropriate.

Then I went back once again into Psalm 8 which has been my "go-to" Psalm this week, and it happens to be the one that the "Toolshed" on "reading through the Psalm" connected with the book, How to Pray, that we are reading for Renovare Book Club this fall suggested I mull over. I thought that was cool. 

It also coincides with the Week of Psalm pertaining to Creation that my directees are going through in the Spiritual Exercises. So I have gone through Psalm 8 with four of my directees this week in different ways. Today, I prayed through it with one of them, and that was my favorite way to mull. It has also been nice to read it in The Passion Translation that my directee on Monday told me about. That is nice. 

After this time in the Psalms I had some Examen prayer, and Psalm helped me understand one of my desolations from the previous day (I do my Examen in the morning for the previous day - I just do not do well doing it at night) because the speaker in a four-week seminar I am attending implied that ALL creatures are made in the image of God, and I just don't buy that. I think Psalm 8 says that God made us a little lower than him and that we are to "rule over the works of God's hands" (verse 6). So maybe I misunderstood what she was saying, but that was something I needed to process. I have one more session, but I am not sure I am going to go to the last one. I really like the lady, and it is good to know what some people believe, but I am seeing that only man was made in the image of God. All of creation is wonderful, but they are not bearers of God's image. I cannot see that. Maybe I should contact her privately. I feel a little intimidated asking this in front of all the other attendees. 

I also looked at Psalm 58. That was so pertinent for praying for our election. I have LOVED not watching the news these last two weeks. That was my desolation every day. I am praying. I am informed because I do see highlights now and then that flash up on my screen, but I am not getting sucked into the vortex of news anymore, and that is quite freeing.

After this, I listened to Pray as You Go. It was on the Galatians who had thrown away God's grace for the law. 

This was all followed by a short Centering Prayer time of 10 minutes.

Then, I went for a melding together of it all walk with George before he started his workday. We had a little Examen prayer time together as we walked around the block.

Then, it was off to a podcast interview with Josh Worden. I will put the link here. He wanted to know about my time in Oregon State Women's Basketball and what I have done afterward. So I could talk about my passion for helping people find freedom from physical pain (through Pilates and personal training) and emotional and spiritual pain (through spiritual direction, listening prayer, and understanding their MBTI/Enneagram/DISC). I didn't go into a lot of detail about the personality stuff except the Enneagram, but it was fun.

After this, I jumped into a spiritual direction time for 1 1/2 hour that was life-giving. Directly after that, I had a Centering Prayer time with 30 people from Mercy Center, Burlingame. Then, I went for a reflection walk.

Now I am freewriting and off for a little rest after an eventful morning into the afternoon! 

TTFN. 

43. The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down: A Hmong Child, Her American Doctors, and the Collision of Two Cultures by Anne Fadiman

I found this book to be so interesting and challenging. It is about Hmong refugees in the central Californian town of Merced. It specifically focuses on a family who has a child with epilepsy and their cross-cultural clashes with the medical community. It is a fascinating read. I also appreciated her dive into the history of the Hmong, and how they came to be refugees in the United States. 

Here is an interesting article about more recent happenings with this family: 

https://dcarboneutica.weebly.com/the-spirit-catches-you-and-you-fall-down.html 

Finding Christ in the World: Week Five - Sin in the World, Sin in Me

My underlines and notes that I never finished, but I am going to post it anyway!

INTRODUCTION

Those who do not believe think that all the wrong int he world is due merely to human mistakes and lack of progress. We disciples see it as due to sin, to the choices people make to ignore what God wants and to do what we want, instead. That choice brings with it all the wreckage around us - in ourselves and in our world. 

We can't deny the wreckage, but we deny that humanity can overcome it. In our worldview, all the evils around us are rooted in humanity's prideful decision that we will choose our own purposes We cannot. Our purpose is already set: to love God, others, and self. 

Without Christ, the chaos and wreckage in the world remains senseless. 

Can we accept the gift of recognizing that we are doing wrong without having to hate our broken selves?

We know that, even if we are broken, we are not unlovable...we were "destined to be molded to the pattern of his Son" [and share inwardly His likeness, AMP] (Rom. 8:20). 

PRAYER TALK

Planning, puzzling, problem-solving -- take these to prayer. For the Lord intends that we serve and love our Creator in the tangle of our minds as well as in the welter of our feelings and emotions. 

SIN IN ME IS A MYSTERY 

These things would not happen were we all to put God first and keep God first. We don't. Instead, banks, schools, the media, governments -- all are structured to serve first of all the little gods: profit, pleasure, and power, "the ruling forces ... masters of the darkness in this world" (Eph. 6:12).

Like polluted air, that earthly order gets into every one of us and every one of us makes it, the earthly order.

Gratitude is your best defense against the mysteries

Day 1

Everyone pays attention to the news, watching politics and the economy. You go deeper: you see how what is happening has everything to do with the way people are using their freedom. 

You've thought and prayed about the chaos you are being shaped from. "Sin in the world" is the disciples' name for that chaos. And only Jesus Christ can save us from it.

How to Pray: Week Two - Chapters 3 & 4: Slowing and Centering and Adoration

 

How to Pray Study Guide Questions: Chapter 3-4 – Pause and Rejoice

 Read: Chapter 3: Slowing and Centering; Chapter 4: Adoration

Key verse

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name” – Matthew 6:9 

Summary points

· Start by recognising God is God.

· Worship puts things back into perspective.

· Use P.R.A.Y – Pause, Rejoice, Ask, Yield.

Questions

Q. Why do you think that we most often associate prayer with asking, rather than worship and adoration? “In commanding us to glorify him, God is inviting us to enjoy him” – C.S.Lewis

That is how we are often with each other. We ask for favors rather than savor our relationships. Being an uber-relational person, I realize that most people are much more transactional in their interactions rather than relational. So I think this transfers over into our relationship with God.

Q. Do you enjoy spending time with God? When are the times that prayer feels most enjoyable?

Absolutely. It is better than chocolate. I cannot wait to get up in the morning, make a cuppa’ Chai, and commune with him. It is the highlight of my day, and I try to continue experiencing his presence even as I interact with others.

It is most enjoyable when I know I have nothing else “on my plate” but spending extended, undistracted time with him.

Q. Pete says that prayer is primarily about relationship with God: “It’s relational, not transactional”. How does this change your perspective of coming to God in prayer?

I had not read all the questions when I started this so I already answered this in the first question. I do not see my prayer life as transactional. Being an “uber-relational” Social/Attraction Type Two, prayer is all about relationship and emersion/fusion with him.

Q. In Acts 4:24-31, the early church put their own crisis into perspective by worshipping. What are the practical things you could do this week to foster an attitude of worship in your daily routine?

Worship stretching, dancing, and walking (admiring God’s creation). Pausing to center on him. Praying through praise Psalms.  Pausing in the middle of the day for praise in worship songs.

Do It

Practise thanksgiving and praise by reflecting on Psalm 8. You might like to read it out loud. Then, take time to Pause and Rejoice:

· Pause: Take a moment in silence and invite the Holy Spirit to help you reflect on what you’ve just read. 

· Rejoice: Speak out prayers of adoration. Reflect and to thank God for one or two things in your life. You might like to use the Psalm as inspiration, too.

This is so cool because I had already decided that my spiritual direction times with directees would start off in Psalm 8 this week! CB and I did it yesterday, and it was a lovely time together. Psalm 8 will continue all week. I love it when God does this! CB told me about the Passion translation of this Psalm which I will have to look up. 

Friday Freewrite Fifteen

 So, life is slow. I LOVE it. I have never been one that NEEDS to be busy. I always love the quiet. It has not been bad not working. Every Tuesday and Thursday morning between 9:15 and 12:15 for the last three of those times I have looked at my watched and thought, "I would be on my way or teaching my class," but I look at what I am doing in that present moment, and it is all so good. :) I am happy at my time spent on long walks or in spiritual direction. 

I have continued with the things that I took advantage of this summer like the Imagine Contemplation with the Jesuits in Britain on Wednesdays at lunch (it is 8 pm there time and it became every other week in September), the Centering Prayer time with the Benedictines in Burlingame (Sundays and Thursdays), and my supervision with the Mt. Angel Queen of Angels Monastery the second Friday of each month. (Uh oh, a bird just hit our window, I better pause the timer and check! He was stunned but upright. I went out to the yard, and he stood there for the longest time, not moving when I approached close to him, but then he woke up and flew away. Stunned but not killed.) I have also enjoyed being able to read How to Pray (see my previous post) more intensely and practice all the "toolbox" things. It is a very simple book, but I just finished The First Exercises four retreats am just practicing the things in the toolbox. There is not really anything new, but I like this pace.  I have also been taking longer walks and talks with God, enjoying nature. I am also scheduling spiritual direction appointments with women during the times I would be teaching. I am openhanded about whether I would leave my Pilates OSU job. I love it, but I also know that we don't know when COVID 19 will allow for increased "on-site" enrollment. In the meantime, I am loving being "retired" so may just make it permanent.

I have four people going through the Full Exercises this year. I have one person who finished it from last year, and two who started it in the summer but are on a little "hold" for a while. 

One thing I have prayed for is community. We thought we would enjoy creating a community with two other families, but when it came down to the day we were supposed to start meeting, I just did not have any peace about it. Now that we met with a couple from a previous cohort group, it might be better to meet with them if we are going to meet with anyone. We are still praying about this, and God has assured me that he will drop something in our lap beyond even our wildest imagination. 

I am meeting with D today. That will be fun.

Health-wise, we are doing really, really well. George is swimming right now, and I am biking to my time with D. By the way, I have 15 consistent directees right now and another five that are "in and out" who call me when they want to talk. (FIFTEEN MINUTES DONE)

How to Pray Week One - Chpaters 1 & 2: Prayer Everywhere and Keeping it Simple

Read:

Intro: How to Make the Most of This Book; Chapter 1: Prayer Everywhere; Chapter 2: Keeping it Simple

Key verse: “Lord, teach us to pray” – Luke 11:1

Summary points

· We can ask Jesus to help teach us to pray

· Prayer is like a toolbox – there are lots of different ways of praying

· Keep it simple. Keep it Real. Keep it up.

Questions

Q: What do you find difficult about prayer?

Nothing really. If I have to be absolutely positively honest. I LOVE to pray. I feel like it has always been pretty easy for me, and I love finding new avenues for an encounter with God. It is how I am with George too though. I love spending time with him. We don’t get tired of one another.

Q: What do you find easy?

God is always there to dialogue with (I talk and I listen – both in equal measure). God is the only one who truly “gets” me. That is what I find easy: GOD. He is so much more than I could ever ask or imagine. He is bigger than I could ever comprehend. He is more secure than any human being on earth. So, I can bring ANYTHING to him.

Q: Why do you think prayer can often feel hard?

I think I should pose this for others to answer because it has never “often felt hard” for me. Never. I am very thankful for this, but some of the people I have discipled or done spiritual direction with over the years, have found it difficult. So, I am on a quest to find out why this is hard for many people.

Here are some thoughts I have about this:

People can often be perfectionists. So, they think that prayer has to be a certain way. Or they are busy and cannot create space in their day for it. Or they might feel they have to do it in the morning, and they are not morning people.  Many people just don’t care to be connected with God.

George: Distractions. “I’ve got to do this. I’ve got to do that.”  (Just write it down, and you don’t have to lose it.) Don’t plan it with the same priority.

I am uber RELATIONAL. So, it transfers over into my relationship with God. I will take in any way I can CONNECT to him relationally!

Pete says the best piece of advice is to “Keep it simple, keep it real and keep it up.”

Keep it simple: “your prayer life is at its best at its simplest”

Q: What do you mostly talk to God about?

I love to tell him how wonderful he is. I love to look at Scripture and respond to him from that. I talk to him about what I am needing to release, my consolations and desolations, I listen to him for direction and words of comfort and peace. I intercede on behalf of friends and loved ones. I lift up the current events and unreached people groups.

Keep it real: “Don’t role-play before God”

Q: Do you feel like you have to act a certain way before God when you pray? Why or why not?

Absolutely and positively NOT! He is all-knowing. So, there is no act that will be effective. He sees me just the way I am and LOVES me. There is no reason to hide. Also, Jesus reversed the Garden hiding. We can be out in full view of him for all the world to see!

Keep it up: “Don’t give up praying too soon”

Q: Do you find it challenging to persevere in prayer?

Nope. I do forget some things that I feel the LORD is telling me to pray about. Then I say, “Oh yay!” I think my shower crayon has helped. I have not been using that recently.

For the most part, I pray for a long time and it has been fun to see God answer some long-term things like peoples of the world coming to know him!

Q: How can we be encouraged to keep going?

Prayer mentors – Thank you, Sheryl Rice-Jury, Kathy Galloway-Allen, Helene Ashker, Ginny Bowen, Lorraine Fleishman. They were all such prayer mentors for me.

Prayer community – I have the privilege of being part of some awesome prayer communities of people over the years. Navigators were always really good about making prayer a BIG priority in everything we did. Both personal and corporate. Everyone was praying and spending time with God and sharing about what God was saying, and then we were praying together in one place corporately. ALL my leaders were people of deep and abiding prayer. Having the PUMP parties, TOAG prayer hours, Watchwomen, etc. I also liked that early morning group I had in the late 80s. 

Renovaré has also been great for prayer. Having been part of it since early on. It started in 1988. I read Celebration of Discipline in college (maybe it was on Rusty’s shelf when I housesat the summer of 1980?), and most of those disciplines were instilled in me through the Navigators, but Renovaré definitely reinforced it and reading through the Devotional Readings was helpful as I was exposed to excerpts of the giants of prayer in history. Reading Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home was also very instrumental along with E.M. Bounds, SD Gordon, etc.

Do It

Think about one way you’d like to grow in prayer and your relationship with God over the course.

I have had the goal to grow in Centering Prayer since early 2019 and will continue that. Reading The Sacred Enneagram in September of 2018 challenged me in this area. I had tried to read Basil Pennington's book at a prayer retreat in November 2018, but I thought it was not for me. Then we read the Cloud of Unknowing in the Renovare Book Club in Spring 2019, and I realized that God was already bringing me into this kind of prayer naturally during my colloquy times in the Spiritual Exercises and my afternoon times at the kitchen table when the sun was streaming into the room. So it didn't seem that unattainable when I realized that God was doing it naturally without reading Basil's book (LOL!) and that it was OK to let "kataphatic" (a prayer that has content; it uses words, symbols, ideas) of  Lectio Divina and Ignatian Imaginative Contemplation being the springboards to "apophatic" (a prayer that has no content; meaning emptying the mind of words or ideas and simply resting in the presence of God) because it is the natural "Rest" portion of Lectio Divina! Then I downloaded the Centering Prayer App in May 2019, and I started having short times of Centering Prayer even apart from the "kataphatic" prayer times. 

Mercy Center Zooms have also been helpful because I sit in front of a screen with others holding me accountable to remain still and quiet:

http://www.mercy-center.org/ProgramsMC/CenteringPrayerOnline.html

Write down your goals, so that you can revisit them at the end of the book.

Practice each Prayer Tool from https://prayercourse.org/toolshed/ and write about my experience for each.

42. The Book of Job translated by Stephen Mitchell

 

I am not sure why the Bible as a whole is on the 1000 Books to Read Before You Die list, and this is a separate read. I did not find his translation really different from the other translations I have read. Job is a powerful book, and I have read it several times, in several translations. I did like hearing it again with Peter Coyote as a narrator, and it was a quick listen! 

41. The First Spiritual Exercises

 

The First Spiritual Exercises: Four Guided Retreats by Michael Hansen
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I prayed through the four 22 day retreats in this book from May-September. I did the first one, "Inner Peace in Darkness and Light," with a group of 10 people. The way it was led was a bit "clunky" for me. So I decided not to continue to the next one and do the other three on my own. (I was also doing Finding Christ in the World with a group and didn't need two groups over the summer.)

I liked this, but the guidance overall was a bit too restrictive for me ("spend this many minutes on this and that many minutes on that"). Also, what I thought was going to be a great meditation on Creation (which is part of the larger Exercises) turned out to be the author pushing the theory of evolution that was more of a distraction to what could have been a really lovely retreat week. I don't think that needs to be pushed and one can just enjoy the beauty of the Biblical creation story whatever he or she believes.

I think my favorite retreat was the first one: "Inner Peace in Divine Love." Sadly, my group leader didn't start with the first one, and I think she missed out on a better experience for those people who had never experienced the Exercises in their entirety.

Where this book shines is in the Guides and Helps. There are different kinds of Examens (Awareness, Particular, Reconciliation, Healing), and guides to enhancing the Exercises, Twelve Ways of Prayer, and Christian Belief. There is also a section on Spiritual Conversation that was good.

So I will use this as a reference book when I direct others through the Exercises and offer the first retreat to someone who wants a 22-day "taste" of the Spiritual Exercises.

I found my favorite of the four retreats on the website for The First Exercises at: 

https://www.fsecloud.life/i-remember-...

View all my reviews

Walking with God in Nature

 Here is my latest Monthly Contemplative Practice:

https://bodyandsoulcompanion.com/2020/09/22/walking-with-god-in-nature/?fbclid=IwAR3jSD_6LYB3DI4dKjVkOElyqHK5MyrluwD8gyp79-y5J9HLCHvqHWlsigs

ENJOY! 

Sunday Freewrite Sixteen

 Hello Sunday.

No agenda in this writing. I was up and at 'em at 4:50 and spent some wonderful time meditating in John 16 - about asking the Father anything in my name. He says ask and you will receive, that your joy may be made full. 

So, I spent some time trying to discern what I really want. I am getting better at discerning that too.

Today, I must cancel my doctor's appointment that I forgot to cancel on Friday before his office closed. I must also change that link for the Bible Book Club. I just don't get DropBox. They always change things around so that my links never seem to be permanent, and I periodically have to change the link. I have never understood why they do that.

Yesterday, I finished the Virtual Camino de Santiago. It meant 11 miles of walking and a 13 mile bike ride. It was fun though. I am not even tired this morning too.

Two days before that, I finished In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust. This is a huge accomplishment. I am so happy. It is supposed to be THE most preeminent novel of the 20th century. It is really seven novels that made one big tome. I am glad I can say I read it.

Two days ago was also my 51st birthday in the Lord! That was so great. I am doing so well. I am really healed from what happened to me in December, and I have moved on from it and glad for that.

Now to the future. I am so enjoying spiritual direction. I have 15 directees. That is a good number. It is different from discipleship in that I am tracking their spiritual progress. I am just listening to where God is working in their life and creating space for them to explore more ways of getting closer to him. That is so nice. I love that. Out of those 15, I have 3-7 who are doing the Spiritual Exercises. One is putting it on hold until her husband gets her job back. One put herself on hold halfway through the Exercises last year. One did it intensely on a 40 day retreat, but I have not heard how it is going. This is right up my alley. One thing that I know is that I really like to work with workers going to the field, on the field, and who have returned from the field and working with others in that realm. 

George and I have been able to go on many more walks in the last two days because the smoke has cleared, and we are happy for that. I will never take the blue sky for granted ever again, but I also know that I coped really well with having to stay indoors. I had good training when I broke my leg. Bloom where you are planted.

I have lost 16.5 pounds, and I am trying to get to a new level by the end of September. I have ten more days, and I seem to be stuck, but I know my body pretty well that it plateaus for 10-14 days, and then I have a drastic drop. I am sure it is how my body holds water. I also know that I have been creating a LOT more muscle in my body by walking and biking so much, and I have also been disciplined to do PILATES even though I am not teaching it. I always joke that I wouldn't do it if I weren't teaching it. I am being disciplined to do it at home, and my desire is to make PRAISE AND PRAYER PILATES videos this fall.

There is my timer. BYE!

39-40. The Fugitive and Time Regained by Marcel Proust

 

I began this journey of seven volumes on August 2, 2019, and here I am on my 51st spiritual birthday FINIS with the whole thing. 

It was quite a journey, and I feel like I need to go out and celebrate. I saw an interview with Shelby Foote once. He said this was his favorite novel. 

I started this because I was in bed with a broken leg last year. You can read the humor of my first post on the first book in the saga:

This is Proust. It is considered one of the greatest books of the 20th century. So, I am tackling the whole seven volumes while I am recovering from a broken leg. I wrote this in my review of How Proust Can Change Your Life, but it bears repeating that Proust's brother said, "The sad thing is that people have to be very ill or to have broken a leg in order to have the opportunity to read In Search of Lost Time." LOL! 

I listened to an abridged version of Swann's Way 11 years ago. I wasn't super impressed, but I am older now, and I have done a lot of reviewing of my "Blessed History" through the Spiritual Exercises so this is basically Proust's secular recollections of his history. George and I had such a nice conversation yesterday about how certain things trigger our memory. For me, a ride on a boat (which happened the day of my broken leg) flood my memory of times with my family boating and me singing to the sound of the engine as my dad drove around Lake Millerton or Mohave. This book inspired me in many ways to do more recollections and write about them. I had done a recollection many years ago that made my brother cry, but where did I put that thing?

So, there are seven volumes, and I bought the whole massive thing in one Kindle book for 1.99. So, here I go!

Here is a summary of what this is all about from the "jacket" of the Kindle version:

On the surface, a traditional Bildungsroman describing the narrator’s journey of self-discovery, this huge and complex book is also a panoramic and richly comic portrait of France in the author’s lifetime, and a profound meditation on the nature of art, love, time, memory and death. But for most readers it is the characters of the novel who loom the largest: Swann and Odette, Monsieur de Charlus, Morel, the Duchesse de Guermantes, Françoise, Saint-Loup and so many others — Giants, as the author calls them, immersed in Time.
In Search of Lost Time is a novel in seven volumes. The novel began to take shape in 1909. Proust continued to work on it until his final illness in the autumn of 1922 forced him to break off. Proust established the structure early on, but even after volumes were initially finished he kept adding new material, and edited one volume after another for publication. The last three of the seven volumes contain oversights and fragmentary or unpolished passages as they existed in draft form at the death of the author; the publication of these parts was overseen by his brother Robert.

“In Search of Lost Time” is widely recognized as the major novel of the twentieth century. —Harold Bloom
At once the last great classic of French epic prose tradition and the towering precursor of the “nouveau roman”. —Bengt Holmqvist
I am in a state of amazement; as if a miracle were being done before my eyes… Proust so titillates my own desire for expression that I can hardly set out the sentence. Oh if I could write like that! —Virginia Woolf
The greatest fiction to date. —W. Somerset Maugham
Proust is the greatest novelist of the 20th century. —Graham Greene
Our second greatest novel after “War and Peace”. —E. M. Forster 

38. The Education of Henry Adams by Henry Adams

 

A fascinating look at the 19th century through the eyes of the great-grandson of John Adams. I resonated with him because he was a life-long learner!