I think home was safe for the most part. My parents loved me. I especially felt very safe when I was very young, but then when I started having opinions and gaining any sort of independence, my mom resented that. She would always condemn me later on in life by saying that the first words that came out of my mouth as a child were, "I rather do it myself." I think independence is a beautiful thing, but my mother, who saw her worth in her helping, as a slap in the face. That is when things were no longer safe, and my mom got verbally and two times, physically abusive. So, I did have this core of safety.
But it did not get better as I got older. There were letter "to God" that told Him how much my mom had wanted a daughter, and "this is why I got." I was a disappointment, not because I did anything failing to her, but because I didn't need her and want to be her best friend.
That was only a five minute freewrite about home.
Thanks Julie!
Friday, July 15, 2016
Friday Freewrite Fifteeen
Wow, I love that Google now has a timer where you just type in "Timer 15 minutes," and it automatically will start a timer for you for that time! Woohoo! Freewriting just got even easier for me.
It has been a while since I did a "no agenda" freewrite, but it is Friday, and traditionally, that is when I would do it, but it has not been that way for a long time.
I am still blown away that my son, Paul, freewrites every day now! He was so resistant to it when he was a kid. I think I saved the books with some of his freewrites. It cracks me up how resistant he was. Now, it helps him, as it helps me too!
The sun is rising on what looks to be a glorious day. I got a manicure and pedicure yesterday for my trip. It had been about 1 1/2 years since I had one, and even that one was given to me by Elizabeth when she came to visit last year! It was fun, and I got a nice flower painted on two fingers.
But that is what is making me anxious now. I am trying to identify the anxiety points in my life. I had scheduled an appointment with the person I did it with the last time I had one, and I got all ready and went to her shop, and there was a sign on the door to say there was a family emergency, and the shop was closed all day. I called her to reschedule, and her grandfather had died. She wanted to reschedule for today, but I have a full day getting ready for my trip; but she insisted on it, and I scheduled it for 9:30 today. Then, I realized that would not work for me as I have an appointment at 8 am on the other side of town, and I don't want to have to rush back to this side. Plus, I was already out and about, and my next appointment was not until 12:45 (well, it was at 12:30, and that was another anxiety that happened to me yesterday). I knew I had to go to WinCo to pick up cloves for my chai (cheapest in town). So I went to the nail spa there, and Sophia was the bomb! She did a really great job and was really pleasant to talk to. Well, I tried to call the person I originally scheduled with to tell her no, and the phone was busy, and there was no way to leave a message. I left a message on her Facebook, but I don't know if she checks this, and I don't want her coming in at 9:30, but I feel like it is too early to call her, and I cannot do it after 8 am. So, I have to call her before 8 am, and her grandfather just died, and I have to tell someone, "NO." But she made no effort to call me to tell me not to come in yesterday either, right? I just feel anxious about calling her, but I obviously do not need a mani/pedi anymore!
Silly thing, but little things like this always make me anxious.
The other thing that made me anxious yesterday was that I had 30 minutes to "kill" before my doctor's appointment. So I went to get some soup. Then the office called and said my appointment was at 12:30 and not 12:45. I KNOW they scheduled it at 12:45 because I questioned that weird time. The lady at the desk said that it was because my doctor was going to 45 minute appointments. But they sort of pinned it on me, and I don't like that. Why on earth would I have written 12:45 unless that was the time I was told originally? I have gone there almost three years, and they have always been at the "30" point on the clock. I remember questioning it. She was new at scheduling the new times. I think she messed up, and she corrected it later but forgot to tell me of the error. They tried to say, "Well, you are called and reminded." But there was no voicemail reminding me of a time, and if they changed the time, shouldn't they call me and tell me personally that there was a time change instead of waiting until the appointment reminder day? And who listens to the message if they already have it on their calendar and know they are to go to it? Now I know I better because that front desk is SO MESSED UP! They have continually messed up with my appointments since I first tried to get in to see him in November of 2013! Seriously HIGH turnover and the only time it was really good was when that one girl (Jessica?) was there for about six months. She was really good.
On top of all that, I was laying down to go to sleep at 10 pm last night, and I hear three buzzes on my phone, I look down, and three voicemails came in from 10 am the day before! One was the doctor's office appointment.
Regardless, if the time changed by their error, they should have called me when they changed it. I think the original receptionist messed up, and she is not even in the office anymore.
Seriously thinking about switching osteopaths when they move to the Albany office some time this year. It is not worth my time to drive all the way to North Albany for an appointment. I either need to do that or just schedule monthly appointments with Paul. I really don't "need" them anymore, but it is nice to have the monthly slot reserved just in case.
Well, the timer went off. This was a strange freewrite, but I am going with it.
No proofreading and sending promptly!
It has been a while since I did a "no agenda" freewrite, but it is Friday, and traditionally, that is when I would do it, but it has not been that way for a long time.
I am still blown away that my son, Paul, freewrites every day now! He was so resistant to it when he was a kid. I think I saved the books with some of his freewrites. It cracks me up how resistant he was. Now, it helps him, as it helps me too!
The sun is rising on what looks to be a glorious day. I got a manicure and pedicure yesterday for my trip. It had been about 1 1/2 years since I had one, and even that one was given to me by Elizabeth when she came to visit last year! It was fun, and I got a nice flower painted on two fingers.
But that is what is making me anxious now. I am trying to identify the anxiety points in my life. I had scheduled an appointment with the person I did it with the last time I had one, and I got all ready and went to her shop, and there was a sign on the door to say there was a family emergency, and the shop was closed all day. I called her to reschedule, and her grandfather had died. She wanted to reschedule for today, but I have a full day getting ready for my trip; but she insisted on it, and I scheduled it for 9:30 today. Then, I realized that would not work for me as I have an appointment at 8 am on the other side of town, and I don't want to have to rush back to this side. Plus, I was already out and about, and my next appointment was not until 12:45 (well, it was at 12:30, and that was another anxiety that happened to me yesterday). I knew I had to go to WinCo to pick up cloves for my chai (cheapest in town). So I went to the nail spa there, and Sophia was the bomb! She did a really great job and was really pleasant to talk to. Well, I tried to call the person I originally scheduled with to tell her no, and the phone was busy, and there was no way to leave a message. I left a message on her Facebook, but I don't know if she checks this, and I don't want her coming in at 9:30, but I feel like it is too early to call her, and I cannot do it after 8 am. So, I have to call her before 8 am, and her grandfather just died, and I have to tell someone, "NO." But she made no effort to call me to tell me not to come in yesterday either, right? I just feel anxious about calling her, but I obviously do not need a mani/pedi anymore!
Silly thing, but little things like this always make me anxious.
The other thing that made me anxious yesterday was that I had 30 minutes to "kill" before my doctor's appointment. So I went to get some soup. Then the office called and said my appointment was at 12:30 and not 12:45. I KNOW they scheduled it at 12:45 because I questioned that weird time. The lady at the desk said that it was because my doctor was going to 45 minute appointments. But they sort of pinned it on me, and I don't like that. Why on earth would I have written 12:45 unless that was the time I was told originally? I have gone there almost three years, and they have always been at the "30" point on the clock. I remember questioning it. She was new at scheduling the new times. I think she messed up, and she corrected it later but forgot to tell me of the error. They tried to say, "Well, you are called and reminded." But there was no voicemail reminding me of a time, and if they changed the time, shouldn't they call me and tell me personally that there was a time change instead of waiting until the appointment reminder day? And who listens to the message if they already have it on their calendar and know they are to go to it? Now I know I better because that front desk is SO MESSED UP! They have continually messed up with my appointments since I first tried to get in to see him in November of 2013! Seriously HIGH turnover and the only time it was really good was when that one girl (Jessica?) was there for about six months. She was really good.
On top of all that, I was laying down to go to sleep at 10 pm last night, and I hear three buzzes on my phone, I look down, and three voicemails came in from 10 am the day before! One was the doctor's office appointment.
Regardless, if the time changed by their error, they should have called me when they changed it. I think the original receptionist messed up, and she is not even in the office anymore.
Seriously thinking about switching osteopaths when they move to the Albany office some time this year. It is not worth my time to drive all the way to North Albany for an appointment. I either need to do that or just schedule monthly appointments with Paul. I really don't "need" them anymore, but it is nice to have the monthly slot reserved just in case.
Well, the timer went off. This was a strange freewrite, but I am going with it.
No proofreading and sending promptly!
Thursday, July 14, 2016
C.S. Lewis Walking Tour Map
The C.S. Lewis Foundation has this great self guided walk:
http://www.cslewis.org/resource/walkguide/
BUT there is no map to go with it! Never fear! Carol is here! I did one and will include video and pictures when I go there.
(I have made these accidentally, but now I have done one on purpose! I learned a NEW thing, and it isn't even Friday [my day to learn new things].)
http://www.cslewis.org/resource/walkguide/
BUT there is no map to go with it! Never fear! Carol is here! I did one and will include video and pictures when I go there.
(I have made these accidentally, but now I have done one on purpose! I learned a NEW thing, and it isn't even Friday [my day to learn new things].)
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
Day with God: July 11
I went to the Abbey yesterday to meet with Sister Joan to follow up on all the things we talked about on June 8. (See previous post HERE.)
I had some time up on the hill before, and I am going to document it here to have it for perpetuity. (I love the way that word rolls off one's tongue.)
Prior to going to see her at 1 pm, Nancy and I went to the hilltop Mt. Angel Abbey, and it was a feast day. Consequently, the library was closed, and we could not go in the little area off the coffee room due to construction. The coffee room was occupied by young people. So, the receptionist asked the Father in charge, and he allowed us to go down to the private area reserved for paying guest of the retreat house. Score! It has big windows overlooking a garden and the hills below. Nancy took the fireside room which is beautiful with no view.
So true as I looked out from the hillside to the fields below!
May I . . .
prepare my mind for action
be self-controlled
setting my hope fully
on the grace to be given me at Your revelation, Christ Jesus.
(1 Peter 1:13)
The Message says:
So roll up your sleeves
put your mind in gear
be totally ready to receive the gift that's coming when Jesus arrives.
(1 Peter 1:13)
and goes on to say:
Don't lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil doing just what you feel like doing. You didn't know any better then, you do now.
As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God's life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, "I am holy, you be holy."
Blazing with holiness! I love that!
Then I felt God had me doing some examination where I was slipping into old ways of life. I also felt led to pray for my kids. I want to spend more precious time with them while they are home for the summer. Praying into when that might be with Michael's crazy work schedule. Our Saturday evening movie nights have been precious though. We like many of the same things, and we all laugh so much together. I would like to do a summer study together though. So, am praying into that right now.
Spent time praying for unbelievers. I had spent time before the Abbey praying for even more. There are so many more. The light of the Gospel is so glorious. Who would not want that?
I WILL
Arise and bless You, Lord my God
Thinking of ways to bless God throughout my days.
Then I evaluated the last month since I last saw Sister Joan on June 8.
STRENGTH
I had written on my last days of prayer:
"I am putting my health as a priority this summer."
This is my eval:
- I have eaten super healthy all summer
- I have increased my cardio so that my appetite has been curbed.
- I did 100 miles of biking in June and broke my workout record with 103 workouts!
- I got my Pilates CEU's on June 25th. Six hours of Pilates was really fun!
SOUL
Sister Joan and I talked about doing things that are "life-giving" to me rather than "soul-draining." Here are some things I have been doing this last month to do that:
- Storytelling - SO GOOD! (I even told Sister Joan the Creation and Fall stories, and we had a wonderful conversation about that!)
- Sabbatical - Last time, God said, "Step out of the traffic and spend a long, loving look at me" (Psalm 46:10). Isn't that the coolest way to put that? So, I have purposely tried to step out of the traffic. It is not always easy. I am not tempted to go into it to feel significant. My significance has not been in my ministry or what I "do" for God in many, many year (probably since my breakdown where God so graciously relieved me of that burden - 1983). I still don't know how to relieve myself of the burden of people contacting me CONSTANTLY about every little thing under the sun. That is where I do not know how to stop that. It is not even me saying, "Yes" to their questions. It takes time to say "No"! It takes time to answer all those inquiries. Still thinking through that.
- STOP - My biggest thing was saying "NO" to any more Skype Training Team meetings. They suck the life out of me more than any other thing I have ever had going on with me. So, I am done with those. I am glad for that. I not only took a sabbatical, but I disengaged even after that. That has been really healthy for me.
- Supplication - I am, in my heart of hearts, an intercessor. I feel that is my primary calling. It is the main part of discipling people (God is the the one who causes the growth, not me), sharing with them, and interceding for people all over the world. Since June 8, I was able to get through two, eye-opening and wonderful, prayer books. I could not WAIT to get up every morning and pray. It gave me such joy. I KNOW that we affect the world more by our praying than all our labors.
With that in mind, the PUMP Party that I organized was a wonderful thing. We prayed 12 hours instead of the 26 from last time, but it was so good. There were 17 (+ one remote person who sent a video message that kicked off the whole party) instead of about 40, but it was a great 18 people. The only draining thing was having all the burden of contacting people about coming. I am, at heart, an introvert. So that was time-consuming and draining for me.
- Surgery - Last meeting, I felt great anxiety about Paul's surgery. That is why I went away. The stress leading up to it (trying to find the medication on a hot June day) was difficult, but once the surgery was over, and his recovery has been SO SO GOOD, that anxiety has melted away. Praise God for Paul, and his wonderful, wonderful attitude about his liquid diet and eating with a syringe!
- Simplify - Still trying to take me out of the equation as a connector of people. I love people, but a person of "too many friends, comes to ruin." When you look more deeply at that verse, it is talking about "unreliable, indiscriminate friends," and I do not let myself get caught up with those kinds of people anymore; but still, lots of friends, means lots of people contacting me about things. So hard to simplify.
The home is getting simpler, and I am working on that today! I am also hoping to streamline our ministry in the fall. I hope to think about that in August.
Back to STRENGTH:
August into September will also be a time to increase physical strength. I have held off on resistance training because it is quite time consuming for me. Pilates is resistance training, and I have kept that up, but I need more for my arms.
I got a picture of my POUNDS (down arrow), PAIN (down arrow). That is what I have been working on over the last few years, and I am happy to say, I have stayed away from being overweight for 3 1/2 years. YAY! My PAIN subsided when I learned about corrective flexibility and proper Pilates technique. NOW, it is about POWER!
I want to become stronger. I was on that road from September - February of last year when I injured myself. I think being in Phase III - hypertrophy was too much. I will stay in Phases I (Stabilization Endurance) and II (Strength Endurance) and skip Hypertrophy to IV (Maximal Strength) and V (Power) for overall performance. I would like to get back into running too. Not a lot, but just enough to help with heart disease risk (2 times a week for 10-15 minutes is all it takes to reduce that risk by 40%, but you can really wrench your back if you are not careful and build up to it).
Then God gave me a final "S" word that was a verb!
"Spread your wings and fly, Carol!"
That was fun and unexpected and goes along with my journey from the "caged bird" (at my old church) to today. I feel like I am flying!
Also, I love teaching Pilates I love integrating health and wellness physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
I wrote (before I went down the hill to Sister Joan):
"So here we go, Lord! It is so well with my soul today! TIME to walk in nature!"
Then God reminded me:
"Remember My vision and move toward My vision (for you). I am the sun that shines down on you. I am the sunshine on your shoulder (long history of God speaking to me by having the sun shine on my shoulder - yes, the John Denver song is part of it)."
The time with Sister Joan was two hours and life affirming. She was so shocked that I would put all the things we talked about into practice, but I enjoy having things to implement and seeing growth! She wants to meet again because it is so refreshing for her, and I like my new friend!
Selah.
Another verse God gave me regarding my kids:
May I-
be anxious for nothing
let my requests be known to You, oh God, in everything by prayer and supplication
May YOUR
peace guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 4:6-7)
Also reminded me of the 2016 word: SWAP (another "S"!):
Strength
Wisdom
Authority
Power
I want to pray more into those characteristics too!
I had some time up on the hill before, and I am going to document it here to have it for perpetuity. (I love the way that word rolls off one's tongue.)
Prior to going to see her at 1 pm, Nancy and I went to the hilltop Mt. Angel Abbey, and it was a feast day. Consequently, the library was closed, and we could not go in the little area off the coffee room due to construction. The coffee room was occupied by young people. So, the receptionist asked the Father in charge, and he allowed us to go down to the private area reserved for paying guest of the retreat house. Score! It has big windows overlooking a garden and the hills below. Nancy took the fireside room which is beautiful with no view.
I know that You alone, whose name is the Lord,
Are the Most High over all the earth.
(Psalm 83:18)
So true as I looked out from the hillside to the fields below!
May I . . .
prepare my mind for action
be self-controlled
setting my hope fully
on the grace to be given me at Your revelation, Christ Jesus.
(1 Peter 1:13)
The Message says:
So roll up your sleeves
put your mind in gear
be totally ready to receive the gift that's coming when Jesus arrives.
(1 Peter 1:13)
and goes on to say:
Don't lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil doing just what you feel like doing. You didn't know any better then, you do now.
As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God's life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, "I am holy, you be holy."
Blazing with holiness! I love that!
Then I felt God had me doing some examination where I was slipping into old ways of life. I also felt led to pray for my kids. I want to spend more precious time with them while they are home for the summer. Praying into when that might be with Michael's crazy work schedule. Our Saturday evening movie nights have been precious though. We like many of the same things, and we all laugh so much together. I would like to do a summer study together though. So, am praying into that right now.
The God of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the GLORY of Christ, who is the image of God.
(2 Corinthians 4:4)
Spent time praying for unbelievers. I had spent time before the Abbey praying for even more. There are so many more. The light of the Gospel is so glorious. Who would not want that?
I WILL
Arise and bless You, Lord my God
Thinking of ways to bless God throughout my days.
Then I evaluated the last month since I last saw Sister Joan on June 8.
STRENGTH
I had written on my last days of prayer:
"I am putting my health as a priority this summer."
This is my eval:
- I have eaten super healthy all summer
- I have increased my cardio so that my appetite has been curbed.
- I did 100 miles of biking in June and broke my workout record with 103 workouts!
- I got my Pilates CEU's on June 25th. Six hours of Pilates was really fun!
SOUL
Sister Joan and I talked about doing things that are "life-giving" to me rather than "soul-draining." Here are some things I have been doing this last month to do that:
- Storytelling - SO GOOD! (I even told Sister Joan the Creation and Fall stories, and we had a wonderful conversation about that!)
- Sabbatical - Last time, God said, "Step out of the traffic and spend a long, loving look at me" (Psalm 46:10). Isn't that the coolest way to put that? So, I have purposely tried to step out of the traffic. It is not always easy. I am not tempted to go into it to feel significant. My significance has not been in my ministry or what I "do" for God in many, many year (probably since my breakdown where God so graciously relieved me of that burden - 1983). I still don't know how to relieve myself of the burden of people contacting me CONSTANTLY about every little thing under the sun. That is where I do not know how to stop that. It is not even me saying, "Yes" to their questions. It takes time to say "No"! It takes time to answer all those inquiries. Still thinking through that.
- STOP - My biggest thing was saying "NO" to any more Skype Training Team meetings. They suck the life out of me more than any other thing I have ever had going on with me. So, I am done with those. I am glad for that. I not only took a sabbatical, but I disengaged even after that. That has been really healthy for me.
- Supplication - I am, in my heart of hearts, an intercessor. I feel that is my primary calling. It is the main part of discipling people (God is the the one who causes the growth, not me), sharing with them, and interceding for people all over the world. Since June 8, I was able to get through two, eye-opening and wonderful, prayer books. I could not WAIT to get up every morning and pray. It gave me such joy. I KNOW that we affect the world more by our praying than all our labors.
With that in mind, the PUMP Party that I organized was a wonderful thing. We prayed 12 hours instead of the 26 from last time, but it was so good. There were 17 (+ one remote person who sent a video message that kicked off the whole party) instead of about 40, but it was a great 18 people. The only draining thing was having all the burden of contacting people about coming. I am, at heart, an introvert. So that was time-consuming and draining for me.
- Surgery - Last meeting, I felt great anxiety about Paul's surgery. That is why I went away. The stress leading up to it (trying to find the medication on a hot June day) was difficult, but once the surgery was over, and his recovery has been SO SO GOOD, that anxiety has melted away. Praise God for Paul, and his wonderful, wonderful attitude about his liquid diet and eating with a syringe!
- Simplify - Still trying to take me out of the equation as a connector of people. I love people, but a person of "too many friends, comes to ruin." When you look more deeply at that verse, it is talking about "unreliable, indiscriminate friends," and I do not let myself get caught up with those kinds of people anymore; but still, lots of friends, means lots of people contacting me about things. So hard to simplify.
The home is getting simpler, and I am working on that today! I am also hoping to streamline our ministry in the fall. I hope to think about that in August.
Back to STRENGTH:
August into September will also be a time to increase physical strength. I have held off on resistance training because it is quite time consuming for me. Pilates is resistance training, and I have kept that up, but I need more for my arms.
I got a picture of my POUNDS (down arrow), PAIN (down arrow). That is what I have been working on over the last few years, and I am happy to say, I have stayed away from being overweight for 3 1/2 years. YAY! My PAIN subsided when I learned about corrective flexibility and proper Pilates technique. NOW, it is about POWER!
I want to become stronger. I was on that road from September - February of last year when I injured myself. I think being in Phase III - hypertrophy was too much. I will stay in Phases I (Stabilization Endurance) and II (Strength Endurance) and skip Hypertrophy to IV (Maximal Strength) and V (Power) for overall performance. I would like to get back into running too. Not a lot, but just enough to help with heart disease risk (2 times a week for 10-15 minutes is all it takes to reduce that risk by 40%, but you can really wrench your back if you are not careful and build up to it).
Then God gave me a final "S" word that was a verb!
"Spread your wings and fly, Carol!"
That was fun and unexpected and goes along with my journey from the "caged bird" (at my old church) to today. I feel like I am flying!
Also, I love teaching Pilates I love integrating health and wellness physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
I wrote (before I went down the hill to Sister Joan):
"So here we go, Lord! It is so well with my soul today! TIME to walk in nature!"
Then God reminded me:
"Remember My vision and move toward My vision (for you). I am the sun that shines down on you. I am the sunshine on your shoulder (long history of God speaking to me by having the sun shine on my shoulder - yes, the John Denver song is part of it)."
The time with Sister Joan was two hours and life affirming. She was so shocked that I would put all the things we talked about into practice, but I enjoy having things to implement and seeing growth! She wants to meet again because it is so refreshing for her, and I like my new friend!
Selah.
Another verse God gave me regarding my kids:
May I-
be anxious for nothing
let my requests be known to You, oh God, in everything by prayer and supplication
May YOUR
peace guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 4:6-7)
Also reminded me of the 2016 word: SWAP (another "S"!):
Strength
Wisdom
Authority
Power
I want to pray more into those characteristics too!
Friday, July 08, 2016
27. The Jungle Book (Book 1) by Rudyard Kipling and narrated by Librivox (Version 3)
If you read my last entry, you know that I listened to another narration, but it was all the Mowgli stories and not the true The Jungle Book (Book 1). So, I decided to listen to the Librivox one, and it is SO COOL because there is this woman from Belgium (Ezwa) who SINGS the songs in the book. Two with friends and two alone. It is very, very cool.All that to say, I wasn't as enthralled with the other stories, except Rikki-Tikki-Tavi (which seems to be very popular because many children's books have been made from just that particular story). I learned all about the Indian Mongoose as a result!
Here is the Librivox version (3) I listened to:
https://librivox.org/the-jungle-book-by-rudyard-kipling-3/
Thursday, July 07, 2016
26. The Jungle Books by Rudyard Kipling and Narrated by Madhav Sharma
Notice this says The Jungle BOOKS! My book club was reading just Book 1. I got the audio version from the library, and the narrator was TERRIBLE! Seriously! So, I remembered this version from when we took long car journeys when our kids were small. I noticed it said "abridged," but it was only 30 minutes shorter than the terrible narration so I listened to it. How much could it be abridged? NOONE beats the Madhav Sharma narration. It is superb.Well, then I started comparing chapters, and they did not line up with Book 1. Then I realized that this said The Jungle BOOKS. The British version that I found online had the title for this Naxos Audiobook as "Mowgli's Stories." Then I realized this is all the stories about Mowgli contained in The Jungle Book and The Second Jungle Book!
So, in getting ready for my book club, I am going back to The Jungle Book (Book 1) and reading all the "non-Mowgli stories" for my book club in two days!
I really like the stories of Mowgli in one place, and this narration is so entertaining!
Sure, many people give Rudyard Kipling a very hard time because of his prejudice, but he was a product of his times. Give him a break and enjoy!
Wednesday, July 06, 2016
Another "R" Word: Resist!
Well DUH!
I knew God had given me all these "R" words to ponder yesterday, but one that I ignored was "RESIST"!
(He did give it to me yesterday, and I had even written it in my journal, but I missed it when defining my "R" words!)
re•sist \ri-ˈzist\ verb
[Middle English, from Middle French or Latin; Middle French resister, from Latin resistere, from re- + sistere to take a stand; akin to Latin stare to stand — more at STAND]
(14th century)
intransitive verb
: to exert force in opposition
transitive verb
1 : to exert oneself so as to counteract or defeat
2 : to withstand the force or effect of
synonymy see OPPOSE
Merriam-Webster, I. (1996). Merriam-Webster’s collegiate dictionary (10th ed.). Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster.
436. ἀνθίστημι anthístēmi; fut. antistḗsō, perf. anthéstēka, 2d aor. antéstēn, imperf. mid. anthistámēn, from antí (473), against, and hístēmi (2476), to stand. To stand against, resist, whether in deed or word
Zodhiates, S. (2000). The complete word study dictionary: New Testament (electronic ed.). Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers.
I was uncharacteristically EXHAUSTED yesterday. It was not until I told Nancy the story of the Gerasene Demoniac that things cleared. I believe that exhaustion was spiritual. I was a new woman after that. I had "armored up" before and during the PUMP Party, but I did not do so afterward. My bad. DUH!
I knew God had given me all these "R" words to ponder yesterday, but one that I ignored was "RESIST"!
(He did give it to me yesterday, and I had even written it in my journal, but I missed it when defining my "R" words!)
re•sist \ri-ˈzist\ verb
[Middle English, from Middle French or Latin; Middle French resister, from Latin resistere, from re- + sistere to take a stand; akin to Latin stare to stand — more at STAND]
(14th century)
intransitive verb
: to exert force in opposition
transitive verb
1 : to exert oneself so as to counteract or defeat
2 : to withstand the force or effect of
synonymy see OPPOSE
Merriam-Webster, I. (1996). Merriam-Webster’s collegiate dictionary (10th ed.). Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster.
436. ἀνθίστημι anthístēmi; fut. antistḗsō, perf. anthéstēka, 2d aor. antéstēn, imperf. mid. anthistámēn, from antí (473), against, and hístēmi (2476), to stand. To stand against, resist, whether in deed or word
Zodhiates, S. (2000). The complete word study dictionary: New Testament (electronic ed.). Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers.
I was uncharacteristically EXHAUSTED yesterday. It was not until I told Nancy the story of the Gerasene Demoniac that things cleared. I believe that exhaustion was spiritual. I was a new woman after that. I had "armored up" before and during the PUMP Party, but I did not do so afterward. My bad. DUH!
Tuesday, July 05, 2016
The Week of the "R" Words
On my worship walk this morning, I read this verse:
rest
(before 12th century)
intransitive verb
1 : to get rest by lying down; especially : SLEEP
2 : to cease from action or motion : refrain from labor or exertion
3 : to be free from anxiety or disturbance
5 : to remain confident : TRUST 〈cannot rest on that assumption〉
7 of farmland : to remain idle or uncropped
reflect \ri-ˈflekt\ verb
[Middle English, from Latin reflectere to bend back, from re- + flectere to bend] (15th century)
transitive verb
7 : REALIZE, CONSIDER
intransitive verb
2 a : to think quietly and calmly
b : to express a thought or opinion resulting from reflection
3 c : to have a bearing or influence
synonymy see THINK
reflection [Middle English, alteration of reflexion, from Late Latin reflexion-, reflexio act of bending back, from Latin reflectere](14th century)
6 : a thought, idea, or opinion formed or a remark made as a result of meditation
7 : consideration of some subject matter, idea, or purpose
re•ju•ve•nate \ri-ˈjü-və-ˌnāt\ verb
re•ju•ve•nat•ed; re•ju•ve•nat•ing
[re- + Latin juvenis young — more at YOUNG]
(1807)
transitive verb
1 a : to make young or youthful again : give new vigor to
b : to restore to an original or new state 〈rejuvenate old cars〉
2 a : to stimulate (a stream) to renewed erosive activity especially by uplift
b : to develop youthful features of topography in
intransitive verb
: to cause or undergo rejuvenescence
synonymy see RENEW
— re•ju•ve•na•tion \ri-ˌjü-və-ˈnā-shən, ˌrē-\ noun
— re•ju•ve•na•tor \ri-ˈjü-və-ˌnā-tər\ noun
re•cu•per•ate \ri-ˈkü-pə-ˌrāt, -ˈkyü-\ verb
re•cu•per•at•ed; re•cu•per•at•ing
[Latin recuperatus, past participle of recuperare — more at RECOVER]
(1542)
transitive verb
: to get back : REGAIN
intransitive verb
: to regain a former state or condition; especially : to recover health or strength
— re•cu•per•a•tion \-ˌkü-pə-ˈrā-shən, -ˌkyü-\ noun
re•cov•er \ri-ˈkə-vər\ verb
re•cov•ered; re•cov•er•ing \-ˈkə-və-riŋ, -ˈkəv-riŋ\
[Middle English, from Middle French recoverer, from Latin recuperare, from re- + (assumed) Latin caperare, from Latin capere to take — more at HEAVE]
(14th century)
transitive verb
1 : to get back : REGAIN
2 a : to bring back to normal position or condition 〈stumbled, then recovered himself〉
b archaic : RESCUE
5 : to find or identify again 〈recover a comet〉
b : to save from loss and restore to usefulness : RECLAIM
intransitive verb
1 : to regain a normal position or condition (as of health) 〈recovering from a cold〉
re•fo•cus \(ˌ)rē-ˈfō-kəs\
(circa 1865)
transitive verb
1 : to focus again
2 : to change the emphasis or direction of 〈had refocused his life〉
intransitive verb
1 : to focus something again
2 : to change emphasis or direction
romp intransitive verb
[alteration of 1ramp]
(1709)
1 : to run or play in a lively, carefree, or boisterous manner
2 : to move or proceed in a brisk, easy, or playful manner
read \ˈrēd\ verb
read \ˈred\ ; read•ing \ˈrē-diŋ\
[Middle English reden to advise, interpret, read, from Old English r+̄dan; akin to Old High German rātan to advise, Sanskrit rādhnoti he achieves, prepares]
(before 12th century)
(2) : UNDERSTAND, COMPREHEND
(Of course, it means the old fashioned read a book too, but that was one of the "R" words, He gave me, and I liked this definition too.)
re•joice \ri-ˈjȯis\ verb
re•joiced; re•joic•ing
[Middle English, from Middle French rejoiss-, stem of rejoir, from re- + joir to rejoice, from Latin gaudēre — more at JOY [Middle English, from Old French joie, from Latin gaudia, plural of gaudium, from gaudēre to rejoice; probably akin to Greek gēthein to rejoice](13th century)
1 a : the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : DELIGHT
b : the expression or exhibition of such emotion : GAIETY
2 : a state of happiness or felicity : BLISS
3 : a source or cause of delight
(14th century)
transitive verb
: to give joy to : GLADDEN
intransitive verb
: to feel joy or great delight
— re•joic•er noun
— re•joic•ing•ly \-ˈjȯi-siŋ-lē\ adverb
— rejoice in
: HAVE, POSSESS
Merriam-Webster, I. (1996). Merriam-Webster’s collegiate dictionary (10th ed.). Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster.
Let me hear your unfailing love in the morning,
For I have put my trust in You.
Show me the way I should walk,
For to You I lift up my soul (Psalm 143:8).I was walking in the cool gentle breeze of the morning, and God told me these words:
rest
(before 12th century)
intransitive verb
1 : to get rest by lying down; especially : SLEEP
2 : to cease from action or motion : refrain from labor or exertion
3 : to be free from anxiety or disturbance
5 : to remain confident : TRUST 〈cannot rest on that assumption〉
7 of farmland : to remain idle or uncropped
reflect \ri-ˈflekt\ verb
[Middle English, from Latin reflectere to bend back, from re- + flectere to bend] (15th century)
transitive verb
7 : REALIZE, CONSIDER
intransitive verb
2 a : to think quietly and calmly
b : to express a thought or opinion resulting from reflection
3 c : to have a bearing or influence
synonymy see THINK
reflection [Middle English, alteration of reflexion, from Late Latin reflexion-, reflexio act of bending back, from Latin reflectere](14th century)
6 : a thought, idea, or opinion formed or a remark made as a result of meditation
7 : consideration of some subject matter, idea, or purpose
re•ju•ve•nate \ri-ˈjü-və-ˌnāt\ verb
re•ju•ve•nat•ed; re•ju•ve•nat•ing
[re- + Latin juvenis young — more at YOUNG]
(1807)
transitive verb
1 a : to make young or youthful again : give new vigor to
b : to restore to an original or new state 〈rejuvenate old cars〉
2 a : to stimulate (a stream) to renewed erosive activity especially by uplift
b : to develop youthful features of topography in
intransitive verb
: to cause or undergo rejuvenescence
synonymy see RENEW
— re•ju•ve•na•tion \ri-ˌjü-və-ˈnā-shən, ˌrē-\ noun
— re•ju•ve•na•tor \ri-ˈjü-və-ˌnā-tər\ noun
re•cu•per•ate \ri-ˈkü-pə-ˌrāt, -ˈkyü-\ verb
re•cu•per•at•ed; re•cu•per•at•ing
[Latin recuperatus, past participle of recuperare — more at RECOVER]
(1542)
transitive verb
: to get back : REGAIN
intransitive verb
: to regain a former state or condition; especially : to recover health or strength
— re•cu•per•a•tion \-ˌkü-pə-ˈrā-shən, -ˌkyü-\ noun
re•cov•er \ri-ˈkə-vər\ verb
re•cov•ered; re•cov•er•ing \-ˈkə-və-riŋ, -ˈkəv-riŋ\
[Middle English, from Middle French recoverer, from Latin recuperare, from re- + (assumed) Latin caperare, from Latin capere to take — more at HEAVE]
(14th century)
transitive verb
1 : to get back : REGAIN
2 a : to bring back to normal position or condition 〈stumbled, then recovered himself〉
b archaic : RESCUE
5 : to find or identify again 〈recover a comet〉
b : to save from loss and restore to usefulness : RECLAIM
intransitive verb
1 : to regain a normal position or condition (as of health) 〈recovering from a cold〉
re•fo•cus \(ˌ)rē-ˈfō-kəs\
(circa 1865)
transitive verb
1 : to focus again
2 : to change the emphasis or direction of 〈had refocused his life〉
intransitive verb
1 : to focus something again
2 : to change emphasis or direction
romp intransitive verb
[alteration of 1ramp]
(1709)
1 : to run or play in a lively, carefree, or boisterous manner
2 : to move or proceed in a brisk, easy, or playful manner
read \ˈrēd\ verb
read \ˈred\ ; read•ing \ˈrē-diŋ\
[Middle English reden to advise, interpret, read, from Old English r+̄dan; akin to Old High German rātan to advise, Sanskrit rādhnoti he achieves, prepares]
(before 12th century)
(2) : UNDERSTAND, COMPREHEND
(Of course, it means the old fashioned read a book too, but that was one of the "R" words, He gave me, and I liked this definition too.)
re•joice \ri-ˈjȯis\ verb
re•joiced; re•joic•ing
[Middle English, from Middle French rejoiss-, stem of rejoir, from re- + joir to rejoice, from Latin gaudēre — more at JOY [Middle English, from Old French joie, from Latin gaudia, plural of gaudium, from gaudēre to rejoice; probably akin to Greek gēthein to rejoice](13th century)
1 a : the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : DELIGHT
b : the expression or exhibition of such emotion : GAIETY
2 : a state of happiness or felicity : BLISS
3 : a source or cause of delight
(14th century)
transitive verb
: to give joy to : GLADDEN
intransitive verb
: to feel joy or great delight
— re•joic•er noun
— re•joic•ing•ly \-ˈjȯi-siŋ-lē\ adverb
— rejoice in
: HAVE, POSSESS
Merriam-Webster, I. (1996). Merriam-Webster’s collegiate dictionary (10th ed.). Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster.
Monday, July 04, 2016
Freewrite Fourteen for Fourth of July
I am setting the clock for 14 minutes and going to freewrite on no particular subject.
My fingers will continue to type even when I have no particular subject as my agenda.
The PUMP Party went off without a hitch. We had all the hours manned, and people came and prayed, and it was fun. There was only one time when there were only two people, and we joined them at 1 pm, and they said they felt resistance. So, we prayed into the resistance, and he really felt like it lifted. It was so great to have T and SG there at about 2 pm. They added so much to the dialogue as they talked about their experience and where the country is now. We prayed into that, and them we sang a hymn! Oh my heart was in raptures during that hymn. Younger people singing a hymn? Unheard of these days, and it was sung with such enthusiasm, and I felt the Spirit there with such power and strength.
We did a good thing that day, and it was such a good way to spend a day. I am going to write the words to the hymn so as to have it be my meditation for the morning (Oh my, Michael Card has an album of hymns and sings this one, and it is on Amazon Prime!):
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus' name
Chorus:
On Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand
When darkness seems to hide His face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil
[Chorus]
His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood
When all around my soul gives way
He then is all my hope and stay
[Chorus]
When He shall come with trumpet sound
O may I then in Him be found
Dressed in His righteousness alone
Faultless to stand before the throne
[Chorus]
Oh the raptures of glory.
Ok here is my sadness. I know many my age who used to claim this, and now they are on other ground.
But on Friday, there was great HOPE. Most of those who prayed were in their 20's and 30's. There were only three of us who were regularly and one more who came for an hour who were in our 50's and 60's. T and SG are in their 40's. Will those in the room in their 20's and 30's still be found in Him when the trumpet sounds?
Actually, most of the people that I talked about two paragraphs ago, who no longer stand on the solid rock, were in their 40's and 50's when they changed. Hmm. I have no "bad experience" when it comes to Jesus. It is all good with Jesus. So, I am not at all sure I can relate. I was not raised in the church. I came to Him of my own free will without anything being pushed or shoved on me. I had seen enough of a life without the solid Rock (My family did not, even though they would have said they walked with Him. But there was no evidence of that. They were great and fun people though, and I am grateful!) That is why I have not pushed or shoved my children. I want their reliance on Him to be totally of their own choosing. I am not afraid. I trust and lean on Him.
Well the timer went off, and I am still in the middle of some thoughts.
Just to say, I think that song was a turning point for me in terms of resistance. There was none after that point. It was smooth sailing from then on. Environmentally, it got very hot in there, and I got a headache from not drinking, but my spirit felt great!
It was a good use of those 11 hours we had on earth.
We ended the time at 8 pm and got dressed up to go to the mosque and break that fast with Muslims. Nine of us went, and we had a fabulous time. When I told the teaching leader of the mosque that we spent the whole day praying for their people she said, "Alhamdulillah (all praise be to God), that is so good! Thank you!"
It was the first time there for four out of nine of the people, and they loved it too!
Then on Sunday, I was pretty wiped out, but I got up early and had time with God. Then Michelle got up (house guest and an important participant in the PUMP), and we had breakfast and talked (Thus why we missed Steve's great sermon on Philippians!). Then she left and George and I went for a Hospital Hill walk and talk. Then, he gardened while I watched the Sunday morning news shows. Then he made two cherry pies for 4th of July and took Paul to Albany for some driving practice. (Yes, he is 21 and still does not have his license. He just loved taking the bus for high school and college. So, he did not see the need for a very long time.) Then we left for Newberg at 3:45 to go and spend from 5-9 at his mom's house visiting with his best friend from high school and college, James, and his wife Jennifer. It involved lots of attentive listening for four hours (After they left, my sweet mother-in-law took note at how I listened the whole time and only asked questions, but I always get lost in people's stories. I am only tired afterwards.) Then, we drove back. I tried to watch the new PBS show, but I kept falling asleep and went to sleep at about 11:20 pm.
A great weekend, and now it is the fourth. We have NO PLANS. No parties to go to, and we did not plan a party. We all want to just watch the last Lord of the Rings movie. I am game for that! We are going to make a pot of Old Settler's Beef and Bean and George and I are actually going to go to the Fourth of July parade because we have always been very curious about it! We will ride our bikes because I have hardly gotten any exercise the last couple of days (other than that little walk up Hospital Hill and some stretching).
So, here we go to start our day, and this was more than 14 minutes. :)
My fingers will continue to type even when I have no particular subject as my agenda.
The PUMP Party went off without a hitch. We had all the hours manned, and people came and prayed, and it was fun. There was only one time when there were only two people, and we joined them at 1 pm, and they said they felt resistance. So, we prayed into the resistance, and he really felt like it lifted. It was so great to have T and SG there at about 2 pm. They added so much to the dialogue as they talked about their experience and where the country is now. We prayed into that, and them we sang a hymn! Oh my heart was in raptures during that hymn. Younger people singing a hymn? Unheard of these days, and it was sung with such enthusiasm, and I felt the Spirit there with such power and strength.
We did a good thing that day, and it was such a good way to spend a day. I am going to write the words to the hymn so as to have it be my meditation for the morning (Oh my, Michael Card has an album of hymns and sings this one, and it is on Amazon Prime!):
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus' name
Chorus:
On Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand
When darkness seems to hide His face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil
[Chorus]
His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood
When all around my soul gives way
He then is all my hope and stay
[Chorus]
When He shall come with trumpet sound
O may I then in Him be found
Dressed in His righteousness alone
Faultless to stand before the throne
[Chorus]
Oh the raptures of glory.
Ok here is my sadness. I know many my age who used to claim this, and now they are on other ground.
But on Friday, there was great HOPE. Most of those who prayed were in their 20's and 30's. There were only three of us who were regularly and one more who came for an hour who were in our 50's and 60's. T and SG are in their 40's. Will those in the room in their 20's and 30's still be found in Him when the trumpet sounds?
Actually, most of the people that I talked about two paragraphs ago, who no longer stand on the solid rock, were in their 40's and 50's when they changed. Hmm. I have no "bad experience" when it comes to Jesus. It is all good with Jesus. So, I am not at all sure I can relate. I was not raised in the church. I came to Him of my own free will without anything being pushed or shoved on me. I had seen enough of a life without the solid Rock (My family did not, even though they would have said they walked with Him. But there was no evidence of that. They were great and fun people though, and I am grateful!) That is why I have not pushed or shoved my children. I want their reliance on Him to be totally of their own choosing. I am not afraid. I trust and lean on Him.
Well the timer went off, and I am still in the middle of some thoughts.
Just to say, I think that song was a turning point for me in terms of resistance. There was none after that point. It was smooth sailing from then on. Environmentally, it got very hot in there, and I got a headache from not drinking, but my spirit felt great!
It was a good use of those 11 hours we had on earth.
We ended the time at 8 pm and got dressed up to go to the mosque and break that fast with Muslims. Nine of us went, and we had a fabulous time. When I told the teaching leader of the mosque that we spent the whole day praying for their people she said, "Alhamdulillah (all praise be to God), that is so good! Thank you!"
It was the first time there for four out of nine of the people, and they loved it too!
Then on Sunday, I was pretty wiped out, but I got up early and had time with God. Then Michelle got up (house guest and an important participant in the PUMP), and we had breakfast and talked (Thus why we missed Steve's great sermon on Philippians!). Then she left and George and I went for a Hospital Hill walk and talk. Then, he gardened while I watched the Sunday morning news shows. Then he made two cherry pies for 4th of July and took Paul to Albany for some driving practice. (Yes, he is 21 and still does not have his license. He just loved taking the bus for high school and college. So, he did not see the need for a very long time.) Then we left for Newberg at 3:45 to go and spend from 5-9 at his mom's house visiting with his best friend from high school and college, James, and his wife Jennifer. It involved lots of attentive listening for four hours (After they left, my sweet mother-in-law took note at how I listened the whole time and only asked questions, but I always get lost in people's stories. I am only tired afterwards.) Then, we drove back. I tried to watch the new PBS show, but I kept falling asleep and went to sleep at about 11:20 pm.
A great weekend, and now it is the fourth. We have NO PLANS. No parties to go to, and we did not plan a party. We all want to just watch the last Lord of the Rings movie. I am game for that! We are going to make a pot of Old Settler's Beef and Bean and George and I are actually going to go to the Fourth of July parade because we have always been very curious about it! We will ride our bikes because I have hardly gotten any exercise the last couple of days (other than that little walk up Hospital Hill and some stretching).
So, here we go to start our day, and this was more than 14 minutes. :)
Sunday, July 03, 2016
Exercise Duration for the Year
Just sayin'!
Now, compare my yearly exercise duration (2012 doesn't count because I did not get Endomondo until November of that year. I love Endomondo, by the way, but do NOT go by their calorie burn estimation. They overestimate by a LOT, but so does FIT BIT. DO NOT GO BY THE FIT BIT FOR CALORIE BURNS! But I digress.), and you see that year I lost all that weight was 2013! Look at all the walking I did! Funny that I compared hiking, and I have consistently done 30 hours every year! I always says I will hike more each year, but that seems to be my limit.
As you can see, I am halfway through the year, and I will never catch up to my high of 2013 when I lost all that weight. I also realized that I did a lot more elliptical in past years. Elliptical interval training (one minute full on and then 1 minute getting my heart rate down to at least 125 for seven intervals on the SNAP fitness longer stride length) burns 574 calories per hour compared to walking which burns between 388 (2.5 MPH - hill) and 487 (3.5 MPH on the flat with fast-walking Michelle) calories.
I did not do that much elliptical because I was so wiped out in the spring from all the pollen that came from riding my bike to and from class and teaching two classes with open windows! I usually do elliptical more in the spring due to allergies, but I could not avoid it this year.
But I do resolve to do more elliptical year round! I am going to figure out the allergy thing or really reduce my eating in the spring to compensate for a more sedentary life of recovery on the off work days!
Anywho. There is my newest "look at the stats and apply them to my life and health" entry!
Thursday, June 30, 2016
Well Update - Sister Joan Freewrite Follow Up
I am trying to get used to my new computer. It takes a bit of time, but I have it today. I have been reserving my Thursdays to go up and see George, but he is coming down tonight. So, I don't need to do that. (The learning curve is high at first.)
So here is the Well Update
Heart/Soul - I am emotionally on a very even keel lately. I am well-rested. Balance has been restored after the end of May - Early June realization that I had become a bit out of kilter. I am so thankful for Sister Joan, and her words of wisdom for me. I was reacting to other people rather than responding to the Lord. That always gets me in a bit of trouble. I think it started with feeling low-ebb with allergies and progressed from there. The rudeness of the man in the class after mine also contributed. The ongoing negativity of another person that I had to see at the end of my mostly positive class day on Mondays and Wednesdays also contributed. Negative people are toxic people.
Here is a list that I was reminded of again this morning:
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-9985/25-habits-of-people-who-are-happy-healthy-successful.html
Here is a list of Sister Joan's wise words:
1) Give self permission to say "no" - I realize that I am pretty good at saying "no" to the big things now. That is growth, but it is the little nagging things everyday. "Carol, can you connect me with this little thing? Can you post this little thing for me? What do I do with this international student? Do you know these international students, can we partner with you? Can you lead this little one day thing? Here is her number (instead of them calling and putting it all on me to make the call). Can I get a ride down to Portland and stay with you? I think I need an implant in Corvallis. Where can I go? Can I send a 10-15 page paper to you to edit? When are you coming to visit me? Can we meet in Portland? Can we meet in July to chat about some things? Can you teach Pilates to such and such group? Where do you get this particular product? This is all "little" questions and request that happened in the last couple of days, but they all add up.
I also say "yes" to things that people are so dead set on doing but don't want to have any part in making it happen, and then they don't even show up for it. One particular person was very rude when they said that we have to have this prayer time on this particular day because of this particular reason, and her words were, "Get to it!" Like I was her slave or something. Then, she IS NOT EVEN COMING! That really surprised me and made me realize that I need to just say, "YOU GET TO IT THEN if you are so dead set on having it this day! I am not your slave." The next time she does something like this, I really need to reflect back to her how she comes across to people when she says things like "GET TO IT!"
That same person and another person had heard a message on prayer in September 2014, and they were saying, "We need to pray more! Why don't we pray more?" Then, when I made a lot of effort to create more opportunities to pray, THEY DID NOT EVEN SHOW UP. It is one thing to pray more, it is another thing to look at the practicalities of praying more in terms of involvement of other people.
So, I am resolved to GIVE BACK TO PEOPLE the responsibility of fulfilling their own dreams rather than me expecting to do it for them. CHECK! (Boy, this is really good to type this out. Thus why I freewrite!)
I have progressed at saying, "NO" more, but I can always grow in this area.
One of Sister Joan's questions to ask myself: How does "no" minister?
I am not sure what she meant by this question. I think saying "no" ministers to others in them seeing that I set good boundaries, and they can do the same. The sabbatical has been really good because some people had seen how tired I was (Lorraine in particular) even more than I had. Joanne said it was so good. I don't feel like I really do that much, but I think I do. I think saying "no" also ministers to the people who make demands of me (like the particular person above) because they see how they are coming across, and they begin to see the other person as a human being with capacities rather than an object they can use to manipulate and boss around.
How does it minister to me? I think it makes me less tired! That is one really good way that it ministers to me. It helps me to see that I can make choices. I need to explore that with Sister Joan more. I am not sure I understand the question's aim.
2) Progressions of Life Stages - I realize that I am in a very different life stage from most of the people I hang out with. I am an empty-nester (even though both the kids are home for the summer from college). I have "embraced the empty nest and have found great joy in a new career. So, my life is in a different season today than it was a year ago.
3) Sabbatical - Sister Joan reminded me of the word God had given me just two hours earlier. I had forgotten it. I am loving this sabbatical, even though it has not been devoid of ministry. The last full sabbatical that George and I took was in our first year of marriage, and, boy, did we ever get flack for that! People were counting the days when our year was up (that was when we were at the "suck all the life out of you, use you and spit you out as worthless" church). The year sabbatical ended up being the year where we did what we were passionate about: spending time with our dear friends, Dang and Kak, and helping them to grasp who Jesus is and this walk of faith. We also studied the life of David together as a couple. The man with a life of devotion, which has characterized our marriage. Intimacy leads to impact. PERIOD. So, that was nothing but a positive time. My mistake was going back into ministry and being on the missions council at church, confirming my life-long dislike of MEETINGS that never go anywhere! That is sort of what I feel like with the meetings for training team. I love knowing what is going on in each other's lives, but it is too much of that and not enough moving forward. I cannot do them anymore, especially remotely where I cannot see people face-to-face. It just is not my cup of tea.
4) No is a complete sentence - I think not explaining why I cannot go to something is a discipline. Too many words, transgression is unavoidable. If they want to know why, they can ask, but I will not volunteer the information. Most of the time I know when something is not something I want or need to do for another person, but how do you not say, "Figure it out for yourself" without coming across rude and not helpful? Such a difficult balance for me. My boundaries and "no" takes a lot of courage, and they come out more emotional than they need to.
5) The better you are, the more you are asked. SO TRUE! I know that is. I also know when I am truly good at something. So, I am flattered but have to remain focused and "keep the main thing, the main thing."
6) Introverting - I don't care one iota if someone does not believe I am an introvert, but I AM. PERIOD. QUIT ARGUING WITH ME ABOUT IT. I know who I am and where I am going. So, just take me as not being an idiot and know my own personality pretty darn well. I always fool people because I love people (strong "F") so I will deny introverting because of my love for people and relationships. They are two very different things. I pay the price later on if I spend too much time with people. That is the truth! So, Sister Joan says to take time to be an introvert. I will. I am. I love it so much. Along with that introverted side is the gift of intercession that I love to nurture and grow.
7) Words that describe me: shepherding, cheerleader, intercessory, worshiper, counselor, spiritual director, listener. With that, Sister Joan asked:
Who listens to the listener? That is so changing. I am getting back some balance in that regard. I am walking with Kim on Tuesday nights now, and that has been so good for my soul. With us, it is a mutual exchange back and forth between us. No one listens more than the other.
8) Retreat - Yes, I am taking more retreats.
9) Process - not product - I think I pretty much have that one down. I learned a long time ago that when I expect a particular product out of my effort, it is always different. I am product when it comes to tangible things like finishing a book or a project. But when it comes to people and life transformation, I have learned to be all about process rather than product. I cannot make choices for others, just myself.
10) Nature heals - so agree! I have been taking worship bike rides, and that has been less about product and more about he process of enjoying God's beauty as I ride around this beautiful city.
11) Minister to the minister - That was eye-opening. I have few that minister to me or even offer to ask me how I am doing. I have come to accept that, but the walks with Kim are good. I am also going to go see Sister Joan one time a month. I do have somewhat of that with the Wellspring group, but I am the oldest now by 15 years, so there is a big gap between us in many ways. I love those girls though. I am trying to find more people who can be that way for me. I definitely have intercessors in my life! Nancy has been great!
12) Enjoying your own company - CHECK! I really like being alone and being my own company. Actually, just me and the Lord is a great thing!
13) Humor? I am not sure this is what this one says, but I love to laugh! That is why I love reading and watching things. So fun! George is my main humor machine, and when we are all together as a family, we laugh a lot!
14) Church Story? I have no idea what this one means. Hmmm.
15) Not your job description - I don't have a job description for the training team. I do TOAG. That is all I really want to do. Then I am going to shepherd grads of TOAG who want it, prioritizing with those going with our group. I am also totally willing and able to lead workshops as they relate to storytelling, DBS, fitness, balanced life, and Spiritual Formation. I think when J wanted MORE, I was a little bit flabbergasted. I cannot do any more and remain true to the next point that Sister Joan pointed out.
16) Her help with words for how to set sabbatical boundaries, "I have been called by the Spirit and have discerned the I need time to integrate" - I think my biggest thing is the realization (as I was sure of last July, really - or even as far back as when we took three days off to go to a six hour meeting, ugh!) that I need to not be involved with the training team on a regular basis. We are volunteers. We just do reimbursement. That is it. It just is in the middle of my only fully free day in the week. So, I bowing out. I have discerned, and it is loud and clear. I want more time to do what I am passionate about.
17) Spiritual self-care - Yes, that is what I am doing. :)
18) Chronically Hurtful People - I am still trying to discern what to do about the person who follows me in my room at OSU. It is one negative thing in a SEA OF POSITIVE PILATES! So she recommended the book title above. She also called them "psychic vampires." The guy is a "rock in my shoe."
In regard to sabbatical, she said,
TRUST GOD
TRUST SELF (my Spirit-filled self)
TRUST OTHER PEOPLE to deal with it! (Including J, who is probably the person I am most afraid of misunderstanding my exit)
That was really good to review what she said to me. I had not gone over the sheet of paper she gave me. I should give a sheet of paper to the people I see! (Which is something I have missed and hope to get back to soon.)
So here is the Well Update
Heart/Soul - I am emotionally on a very even keel lately. I am well-rested. Balance has been restored after the end of May - Early June realization that I had become a bit out of kilter. I am so thankful for Sister Joan, and her words of wisdom for me. I was reacting to other people rather than responding to the Lord. That always gets me in a bit of trouble. I think it started with feeling low-ebb with allergies and progressed from there. The rudeness of the man in the class after mine also contributed. The ongoing negativity of another person that I had to see at the end of my mostly positive class day on Mondays and Wednesdays also contributed. Negative people are toxic people.
Here is a list that I was reminded of again this morning:
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-9985/25-habits-of-people-who-are-happy-healthy-successful.html
Here is a list of Sister Joan's wise words:
1) Give self permission to say "no" - I realize that I am pretty good at saying "no" to the big things now. That is growth, but it is the little nagging things everyday. "Carol, can you connect me with this little thing? Can you post this little thing for me? What do I do with this international student? Do you know these international students, can we partner with you? Can you lead this little one day thing? Here is her number (instead of them calling and putting it all on me to make the call). Can I get a ride down to Portland and stay with you? I think I need an implant in Corvallis. Where can I go? Can I send a 10-15 page paper to you to edit? When are you coming to visit me? Can we meet in Portland? Can we meet in July to chat about some things? Can you teach Pilates to such and such group? Where do you get this particular product? This is all "little" questions and request that happened in the last couple of days, but they all add up.
I also say "yes" to things that people are so dead set on doing but don't want to have any part in making it happen, and then they don't even show up for it. One particular person was very rude when they said that we have to have this prayer time on this particular day because of this particular reason, and her words were, "Get to it!" Like I was her slave or something. Then, she IS NOT EVEN COMING! That really surprised me and made me realize that I need to just say, "YOU GET TO IT THEN if you are so dead set on having it this day! I am not your slave." The next time she does something like this, I really need to reflect back to her how she comes across to people when she says things like "GET TO IT!"
That same person and another person had heard a message on prayer in September 2014, and they were saying, "We need to pray more! Why don't we pray more?" Then, when I made a lot of effort to create more opportunities to pray, THEY DID NOT EVEN SHOW UP. It is one thing to pray more, it is another thing to look at the practicalities of praying more in terms of involvement of other people.
So, I am resolved to GIVE BACK TO PEOPLE the responsibility of fulfilling their own dreams rather than me expecting to do it for them. CHECK! (Boy, this is really good to type this out. Thus why I freewrite!)
I have progressed at saying, "NO" more, but I can always grow in this area.
One of Sister Joan's questions to ask myself: How does "no" minister?
I am not sure what she meant by this question. I think saying "no" ministers to others in them seeing that I set good boundaries, and they can do the same. The sabbatical has been really good because some people had seen how tired I was (Lorraine in particular) even more than I had. Joanne said it was so good. I don't feel like I really do that much, but I think I do. I think saying "no" also ministers to the people who make demands of me (like the particular person above) because they see how they are coming across, and they begin to see the other person as a human being with capacities rather than an object they can use to manipulate and boss around.
How does it minister to me? I think it makes me less tired! That is one really good way that it ministers to me. It helps me to see that I can make choices. I need to explore that with Sister Joan more. I am not sure I understand the question's aim.
2) Progressions of Life Stages - I realize that I am in a very different life stage from most of the people I hang out with. I am an empty-nester (even though both the kids are home for the summer from college). I have "embraced the empty nest and have found great joy in a new career. So, my life is in a different season today than it was a year ago.
3) Sabbatical - Sister Joan reminded me of the word God had given me just two hours earlier. I had forgotten it. I am loving this sabbatical, even though it has not been devoid of ministry. The last full sabbatical that George and I took was in our first year of marriage, and, boy, did we ever get flack for that! People were counting the days when our year was up (that was when we were at the "suck all the life out of you, use you and spit you out as worthless" church). The year sabbatical ended up being the year where we did what we were passionate about: spending time with our dear friends, Dang and Kak, and helping them to grasp who Jesus is and this walk of faith. We also studied the life of David together as a couple. The man with a life of devotion, which has characterized our marriage. Intimacy leads to impact. PERIOD. So, that was nothing but a positive time. My mistake was going back into ministry and being on the missions council at church, confirming my life-long dislike of MEETINGS that never go anywhere! That is sort of what I feel like with the meetings for training team. I love knowing what is going on in each other's lives, but it is too much of that and not enough moving forward. I cannot do them anymore, especially remotely where I cannot see people face-to-face. It just is not my cup of tea.
4) No is a complete sentence - I think not explaining why I cannot go to something is a discipline. Too many words, transgression is unavoidable. If they want to know why, they can ask, but I will not volunteer the information. Most of the time I know when something is not something I want or need to do for another person, but how do you not say, "Figure it out for yourself" without coming across rude and not helpful? Such a difficult balance for me. My boundaries and "no" takes a lot of courage, and they come out more emotional than they need to.
5) The better you are, the more you are asked. SO TRUE! I know that is. I also know when I am truly good at something. So, I am flattered but have to remain focused and "keep the main thing, the main thing."
6) Introverting - I don't care one iota if someone does not believe I am an introvert, but I AM. PERIOD. QUIT ARGUING WITH ME ABOUT IT. I know who I am and where I am going. So, just take me as not being an idiot and know my own personality pretty darn well. I always fool people because I love people (strong "F") so I will deny introverting because of my love for people and relationships. They are two very different things. I pay the price later on if I spend too much time with people. That is the truth! So, Sister Joan says to take time to be an introvert. I will. I am. I love it so much. Along with that introverted side is the gift of intercession that I love to nurture and grow.
7) Words that describe me: shepherding, cheerleader, intercessory, worshiper, counselor, spiritual director, listener. With that, Sister Joan asked:
Who listens to the listener? That is so changing. I am getting back some balance in that regard. I am walking with Kim on Tuesday nights now, and that has been so good for my soul. With us, it is a mutual exchange back and forth between us. No one listens more than the other.
8) Retreat - Yes, I am taking more retreats.
9) Process - not product - I think I pretty much have that one down. I learned a long time ago that when I expect a particular product out of my effort, it is always different. I am product when it comes to tangible things like finishing a book or a project. But when it comes to people and life transformation, I have learned to be all about process rather than product. I cannot make choices for others, just myself.
10) Nature heals - so agree! I have been taking worship bike rides, and that has been less about product and more about he process of enjoying God's beauty as I ride around this beautiful city.
11) Minister to the minister - That was eye-opening. I have few that minister to me or even offer to ask me how I am doing. I have come to accept that, but the walks with Kim are good. I am also going to go see Sister Joan one time a month. I do have somewhat of that with the Wellspring group, but I am the oldest now by 15 years, so there is a big gap between us in many ways. I love those girls though. I am trying to find more people who can be that way for me. I definitely have intercessors in my life! Nancy has been great!
12) Enjoying your own company - CHECK! I really like being alone and being my own company. Actually, just me and the Lord is a great thing!
13) Humor? I am not sure this is what this one says, but I love to laugh! That is why I love reading and watching things. So fun! George is my main humor machine, and when we are all together as a family, we laugh a lot!
14) Church Story? I have no idea what this one means. Hmmm.
15) Not your job description - I don't have a job description for the training team. I do TOAG. That is all I really want to do. Then I am going to shepherd grads of TOAG who want it, prioritizing with those going with our group. I am also totally willing and able to lead workshops as they relate to storytelling, DBS, fitness, balanced life, and Spiritual Formation. I think when J wanted MORE, I was a little bit flabbergasted. I cannot do any more and remain true to the next point that Sister Joan pointed out.
16) Her help with words for how to set sabbatical boundaries, "I have been called by the Spirit and have discerned the I need time to integrate" - I think my biggest thing is the realization (as I was sure of last July, really - or even as far back as when we took three days off to go to a six hour meeting, ugh!) that I need to not be involved with the training team on a regular basis. We are volunteers. We just do reimbursement. That is it. It just is in the middle of my only fully free day in the week. So, I bowing out. I have discerned, and it is loud and clear. I want more time to do what I am passionate about.
17) Spiritual self-care - Yes, that is what I am doing. :)
18) Chronically Hurtful People - I am still trying to discern what to do about the person who follows me in my room at OSU. It is one negative thing in a SEA OF POSITIVE PILATES! So she recommended the book title above. She also called them "psychic vampires." The guy is a "rock in my shoe."
In regard to sabbatical, she said,
TRUST GOD
TRUST SELF (my Spirit-filled self)
TRUST OTHER PEOPLE to deal with it! (Including J, who is probably the person I am most afraid of misunderstanding my exit)
That was really good to review what she said to me. I had not gone over the sheet of paper she gave me. I should give a sheet of paper to the people I see! (Which is something I have missed and hope to get back to soon.)
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
The Fellowship: The Literary Lives of the Inklings Quotes
For
Tolkien, the Happy Ending lies at the heart of fantasy and fairy story; it is
so essential to the genre that when he revised his talk for publication in Essays Presented to Charles Williams, he
coined the word “eucatastrophe” for eu (Greek for good) and
catastrophe (Greek for overturning) to describe those glorious volte-faces in
which evil, on the verge of triumph, gives way to good, corruption to innocence,
grief to rejoicing, certain death to yet more certain life. It is “a sudden and
miraculous grace . . . a fleeting glimpse of Joy, Joy beyond the walls of the
world, poignant as grief.” There are echoes here of Lewis’s idea of Joy, that
painful, delicious longing that only God can fulfill. It may be that Lewis drew
inspiration for his carefully constructed account of Joy in his autobiography
from Tolkien’s earlier presentation. In any event, eucatastrophe is for Tolkien
the crucial even in fairy tale, the hinge upon which the greatest stories turn,
imparting “a catch of the breath, a beat and lifting of the heart, near to (or
indeed accompanied by) tears, as keen as that given by reason for this “peculiar
quality”: the joy that floods us as eucatastrophe leads us out of literature
and into faith. Through it we glimpse “a far-off gleam or echo of evangelium in
the real world.” Fairy tale, then, is a door opening upon divine truth.
Recovery, Consolation, Escape, in their highest modes of Escape from Death and
eucatastrophe, would play a crucial role in The
Lord of the Rings. (p. 246)
[Obedience]
appears to me more and more the whole business of life, the only road to love
and peace –the cross and the crown in one . . . What indeed can we imagine
Heaven to be but unimpeded obedience. I think this is one of the causes of our
love of inanimate nature, that in it we see things which unswervingly carry out
the will of their Creator, and are therefore wholly beautiful and though their kind of obedience is infinitely lower
than ours, yet the degree is so much more perfect that a Christian can see the
reason that the Romantics had in feeling a certain holiness in the wood and
water. (p. 250 but quoting from Lewis, Collected
Letters, vol. 2, p. 177)
My
thought and talent (such as they are) now flow in different, though I think not
less Christian, channels, and I do not think I am at all likely to write more directly theological pieces. . . If I am
now good for anything it is for catching the reader unawares – thro’ fiction
and symbol. I have done what I could in the way of frontal attacks, but I now
feel quite sure those days are over.” p. 365
On
September 19, 1931, an event unfolded that has acquired its own mythic
numinosity in the minds of the Inklings lovers: The Night of Addison’s Walk.
Lewis, Tolkien, and their mutual friend, Hugo Dyson, strolled for hours along
Addison’s Walk – a tree-lined path within Magdalen College circling a meadow
bordered by the River Cherwell – discussing the nature of myth and it relation
to Christianity. Lewis insisted that myths are essentially lies; Tolkien
countered that myths are essentially true, for they reflect and transmit, in
secondary form, the primary and primordial creative power of God. Tolkien later
reworked the conversations of that night in “Mythopoeia” a soliloquy in heroic
couplets addressed by Philomythus (myth-lover=Tolkien) Misomythus
(myth-hater=Lewis) and dedicated “To one who said that myths are lies and therefore
worthless, even though “breathed through silver.’”
Moreover,
Tolkien argued –and this was the crux of the matter –that in the life, death,
and resurrection of Jesus we discover a myth that has entered history. Here God
tells – indeed, enacts – a tale with all the beauty and wonder and symbolic power
of myth, and yet a tale that is actually true. It was a strange thought, but it
reminded Lewis of an off-hand remark he had heard five years before from the
atheist Harry Weldon. “Rum thing.” Weldon had said, “all that stuff of Frazer’s
about the Dying God. Rum thing. It almost looks as if it had really happened
once.” It looked as if it had really happened once – and yet it lost none of
its mythic power for having become fact.
Tolkien’s
exposition hit home; as he talked, a strong wind rustled the overhanging leaves,
and all three noted, as Lewis put it, the ecstasy of such a thing” – almost like
the passing-by of a god, or of God. At 3:00 a.m., Tolkien headed home, but
Dyson sustained the offensive, delineating the blessings that come from a
Christian life, as he and Lewis walked in the cloister garden of New Building. They went to bed at 4:00 a.m.
This
night of Lewis’s passion – intellectual, as it must surely be – bore fruit on a
sunny morning a week or so later. The key moment came as in Lewis’s conversion
to theism, while he rode a vehicle, this time not a bus ascending Headington
Hill but the sidecar of Warnie’s motorcycle as the brothers motored toward Whipsnade
Zoo, a new animal park thirty miles north of London. “When we set out I did not
believe that Jesus Christ is the Song of God, and when we reached the zoo I
did.” p. 188-189
Sunday, June 26, 2016
25. The Fellowship: The Literary Lives of the Inklings by Zaleskis
I was so excited for this book. I had Humphrey Carpenter's book, The Inklings, in my reading queue, having spied it on my mentor's shelf about a month ago; but I noticed this new one that came out last year, and it was at my library in the "new book" section with no other holds! What a find! I had such high hopes!
The word that continually came to mind while reading this book was SLOG. To slog is to "keep doing something even though it is difficult or boring: to work at something in a steady and determined way" (Webster). That is what I had to do with this book.
Was it worth it? I would say overall, "Yes." The subjects were fascinating, but I had a love/hate relationship with this book. The first 200 pages were mostly boring with moments of brilliance. The authors did not make a very readable book for the lay public by using incredibly difficult words when they could have chosen a more common and accessible word that your average Joe would not have to look up to make any sense of the sentence. For instance, why use "sub rosa" to describe a secret vacation that one of the Inklings had with another woman (not Tolkien or Lewis, by the way)? Most people have no idea what "sub rosa" means! The poor word choices made by the authors are too numerous to count. The constant use of these more "educated" words gave one a sense that the authors were shooting for academia and the "hoity-toity" crowd rather those who love the works of these authors and want to learn all about them. I think this is a shame because you WILL learn ALL about them. Every literary work is analyzed and dissected almost too much. Sometimes, I just didn't care to know all the nuances of their lesser works, but analyze they did!
With all that said, the last half of the book was much better than the first (maybe they got tired of all the big words themselves). If you can slog through the first 200 pages, you will not be sorry you did, and you will feel like you accomplished a great feat when you are done.
My favorite quote made me really ponder why I read fiction (something that I had not done for most of the year and am rectifying by reading Narnia again):
We read, Lewis says, not primarily to appraise an author's worth, but to seek "an enlargement of our being." "Literary experience heals the wound, without undermining the privilege, of individuality . . . ," he writes. "In reading great literature I become a thousand men and yet remain myself. Like the night sky in the Greek poem, I see myself with a myriad eyes, but it is still I who see. Here, as in worship, in love, in moral action, and in knowing, I transcend myself; and am never more myself than when I do." C.S. Lewis quoted, p. 473If you can persevere with a dictionary at the ready (try the Kindle version so you can look up the words easily as you read), I think you will be rewarded.
If you do not want to labor so hard and want a more readable version that came out at about the same time, try Bandersnatch: C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, and the Creative Collaboration of the Inklings. This book was recommended to me, and I have not read it, but my library has ordered it for me. So, stay tuned for my comparison!
Also stay tuned because I will be broadcasting LIVE from Addison's Walk in Oxford on July 22! I am so excited to walk where Tolkien, Dyson, and Lewis walked into the early morning on September 19-20, 1931. It was instrumental in Lewis' journey to Jesus, and that always makes my heart sing!
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Learned a New Thing
I rarely have pain these days, but I did a LOT of walking and riding two days ago (16 miles), and there is a limit for my QL. It was sore last night so I took an anti-inflammatory. I got on the scale (after a great deficit day), and my weight had JUMPED almost a pound!
Why do NSAID's cause fluid retention?
NSAID's block the formation of certain "bad" prostaglandins which cause inflammation and pain. However, they also block some "good" prostaglandins too .. in particular those that are needed do keep blood vessels in the kidneys dilated. When blood vessels in the kidneys are constricted, then the flow of blood is reduced, which in turn reduces the glomerular filtration rate (GFR), or the rate at which the kidneys filter blood. This slowed filtration rate causes a bit of a backlog in the bloodstream which leads to increased blood pressure, so the body relieves the pressure by causing some of the excess water-fluid to seep through the blood vessel walls and into the tissues. The reduced filtration rate also causes the kidneys to retain sodium and potassium.
For most people, this effect is temporary and transient; it clears up once the NSAID is out of the system. However, persons with kidney disease, the elderly and also liver disease need to use these with caution, or even not at all. Also persons taking ACE-inhibitors for blood pressure, and potassium-sparing diuretics such as spironolactone should not use NSAID's without discussing with their dr. This includes aspirin!
I don't worry about that, but I traced back to what it might have been, and it had to be the anti-inflammatory. So I did some research, and here you go:
Why do NSAID's cause fluid retention?
NSAID's block the formation of certain "bad" prostaglandins which cause inflammation and pain. However, they also block some "good" prostaglandins too .. in particular those that are needed do keep blood vessels in the kidneys dilated. When blood vessels in the kidneys are constricted, then the flow of blood is reduced, which in turn reduces the glomerular filtration rate (GFR), or the rate at which the kidneys filter blood. This slowed filtration rate causes a bit of a backlog in the bloodstream which leads to increased blood pressure, so the body relieves the pressure by causing some of the excess water-fluid to seep through the blood vessel walls and into the tissues. The reduced filtration rate also causes the kidneys to retain sodium and potassium.
For most people, this effect is temporary and transient; it clears up once the NSAID is out of the system. However, persons with kidney disease, the elderly and also liver disease need to use these with caution, or even not at all. Also persons taking ACE-inhibitors for blood pressure, and potassium-sparing diuretics such as spironolactone should not use NSAID's without discussing with their dr. This includes aspirin!
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Health and Wellness Freewite
Well, my journey to wellness of body this summer is going swimmingly (oh, I should go swimming this summer, but I digress)! 6.6 pounds in 21 days.
I am back down to what was really my "set point" weight for most of the three years after I lost 15% of my weight between December 23, 2012 and April 18, 2013. This "set point" was really easy for me to maintain. It was 10% of my previous body weight.
I had a lightbulb moment this morning. Kim (my Registered Dietitian soulmate who works with Pediatric outpatients [most of whom are obese] at the hospital) and I went to a continuing education workshop for healthcare professions about 10 years ago, and the speaker talked about how we need to only lose 10% at a time and then maintain that 10% for at least three months. She talked about the predilection of fat cells to want to grow back to the size they were before, and they need to find a new normal. Well, I realized it was EASY for me to have that 10%, but that extra 5% was what I struggled mightily to keep off.
So, now I am going for that extra 5% which is now 6%. Other than this little blip in the Spring (see reflection on that below), my weight has stayed at or below that 10% level, but it has never "set" at the 15% level.
Lesson learned: Strive for 10%, sit and maintain that weight for three months, and then move on to another 10% (Depending on your goals. I only wanted to lose 15%, Technically I only needed to lose 4% to be at a health BMI, but I just feel better at a 22 rather than a 24.9!)
My little digression about that desire for 22 rather than 24.9:
NO, I AM NOT TOO THIN AT THE WEIGHT!
NO, I AM NOT ADDICTED TO EXERCISE!
First of all, fitness and nutrition are my gig. It is my career choice. So, I love my job. I am not addicted, but I am passionate about health, and I am passionate about others being all that God meant them to be physically, emotionally, and spiritually. So, I want to find that for myself and pass it on to others.
ALL, and I mean ALL of the research shows that 22-24.9 is the lowest disease risk category. I like to be at 22 so I can have "wiggle" room for special occasions. Why hoover at 24.9 and then go through a Christmas and gain to overweight? Stay at the lowest end of optimal health and fluctuate from there rather than from the edge to increased disease risk?
In addition, that is the weight that I feel and look my best! Here it is:
This is also the weight that I should be at according to the Devine Formula which is what I learned when I was a student in nutrition at Oregon State University. I have emailed with the radiologist who maintains this site:
http://halls.md/ideal-weight/body.htm
Dr. Halls maintains that there is no such thing as a "large" frame. In college I learned to add 10% according to a large frame and to subtract 10% according to a small frame. He said that is bunk based on his bone scans of his numerous years as a radiologist. So, I go by the Devine formula without adding the 10%. (He suggests that most women go by the Robinson formula, but I am very tall so he agreed that I should go by the Devine formula.)
PLEASE do not sabotage that. There are many well-meaning people who tell me I am "too thin" when I am at that weight (not my husband, thank the Lord) or that I am "addicted to exercise."
"TOO THIN" - One thing that looks thin is my face because faces thin as we age (that is why women do Botox). So, I would agree that my face looks very thin at that weight, but my stomach and love-handles are only gone when I am at that weight, and I like those things to be GONE, thank you very much (no muffin top, no hiding the bulges when I wear more form fitting clothes: FREEDOM)!
Also, people are not used to seeing the weight I was when I played basketball, and that was my best weight ever. They are just used to seeing me in a different way (six years ago I was 20 lbs heavier so it looks "TOO THIN" to them).
"ADDICTED TO EXERCISE" - Exercise is good people. I lead a VERY sedentary lifestyle apart from my exercise time. I sit and do counseling and discipleship, teach, write, have meetings, etc. My hobbies are sedentary: reading and processing photos. So, I counteract all the sitting by exercising. I do not injure myself at the pace of exercise I do now. (Unless I do dumb things like pull a heavy weight for my lats without warming up like I did in February, duh!).
Exercise also keeps me very, very sane. It is the way I stay focused and de-stressed. It is the way to keep your serotonin and dopamine levels elevated. Here is the handout that I made for you:
Natural Ways to Elevate Serotonin and Dopamine
In addition to keeping me sane, it keeps me out of pain. I do not have the luxury to be out of shape. If I were, I guarantee you, I would be bedridden. I have too many structural abnormalities, especially in my pelvis, that make exercise IMPERATIVE. I saw the devastating effects of this when I severed the tendon in my big toe in 2009, could not exercise, and my back went out to the point where I was in bed for five weeks. So, many can fudge on this. I cannot.
In addition, cardio time is prayer time for me! I walk a LOT (and run and bike a little), and that is such great time talking to GOD! I love it. I missed it in the spring when I had such bad allergies and fell down the stairs and had to recuperate. Get me out in nature, and I am a HAPPY CAMPER!
Moving more is GOOD, The person that suggested I might be "addicted to exercise" is overweight and seems pretty darn unhappy to me as a result. So, I am really working to expunge (Isn't that a great word?) that person's negativity from my mind. It has taken since February to do so. I need to stay away from those kinds of people. They are sabotagers! Sabotagers be GONE!
Here is my little digression about the spring (7 pound weight gain 11 weeks = overeating 318 calories a day):
Illness + Injury (fall down the stairs) + Allergies led to Inactivity + Overeating = WEIGHT GAIN!
Yes, I rode my bike to and from campus two days a week and taught six Pilates classes, but the other days were VERY SEDENTARY and Pilates only burns about 130-175 calories per hour.
In addition, I have always been a firm believer that cardio curbs my appetite more than resistance training (Pilates included in resistance training) and there is definite scientific research to back this up: http://www.realjock.com/article/1306)
For instance, I went for a 10 mile bike ride and 3 mile walk between 5:15 and 7:15 last night, and I had NO DESIRE to eat dinner. I forced myself to do it because I need to eat at least 1200 calories (according to all the health research anything below this is starvation - but there is some research that suggests that controlled fasting at intervals can be healthy for you too), but I was not hungry in the least.
So, my shift from more resistance (again, Pilates is considered resistance training) this year meant I struggled to keep my weight down. YES, more muscle burns more calories. So, I heartily recommend a combination of the two, but I reduced my cardio drastically this year. It meant less PAIN in my body, but it meant less calories burned overall.
Here is the skinny on why I gained weight then:
Four hours of Pilates is about 600 calories.
Four hours of walking is about 1600 calories.
Do the math, I was burning 1000 calories less per week!
I won't give up the Pilates because more Pilates equals less pain, but I need to find a way to add my cardio into my work week. (The treadmill desk while I am working is something I FORGOT to do in the spring too, duh!)
All that to say is that I GET IT! I am so excited to have this health focus for the summer. I feel strong. I feel fit. I am in a better range even now.
I need to strategize for the fall though. It is so fun to learn and grow and find balance in life, isn't it?
YAY!
I am back down to what was really my "set point" weight for most of the three years after I lost 15% of my weight between December 23, 2012 and April 18, 2013. This "set point" was really easy for me to maintain. It was 10% of my previous body weight.
I had a lightbulb moment this morning. Kim (my Registered Dietitian soulmate who works with Pediatric outpatients [most of whom are obese] at the hospital) and I went to a continuing education workshop for healthcare professions about 10 years ago, and the speaker talked about how we need to only lose 10% at a time and then maintain that 10% for at least three months. She talked about the predilection of fat cells to want to grow back to the size they were before, and they need to find a new normal. Well, I realized it was EASY for me to have that 10%, but that extra 5% was what I struggled mightily to keep off.
So, now I am going for that extra 5% which is now 6%. Other than this little blip in the Spring (see reflection on that below), my weight has stayed at or below that 10% level, but it has never "set" at the 15% level.
Lesson learned: Strive for 10%, sit and maintain that weight for three months, and then move on to another 10% (Depending on your goals. I only wanted to lose 15%, Technically I only needed to lose 4% to be at a health BMI, but I just feel better at a 22 rather than a 24.9!)
My little digression about that desire for 22 rather than 24.9:
NO, I AM NOT TOO THIN AT THE WEIGHT!
First of all, fitness and nutrition are my gig. It is my career choice. So, I love my job. I am not addicted, but I am passionate about health, and I am passionate about others being all that God meant them to be physically, emotionally, and spiritually. So, I want to find that for myself and pass it on to others.
ALL, and I mean ALL of the research shows that 22-24.9 is the lowest disease risk category. I like to be at 22 so I can have "wiggle" room for special occasions. Why hoover at 24.9 and then go through a Christmas and gain to overweight? Stay at the lowest end of optimal health and fluctuate from there rather than from the edge to increased disease risk?
In addition, that is the weight that I feel and look my best! Here it is:
 |
| Me at 22 BMI on January 11, 2014. Last time I saw that weight! |
This is also the weight that I should be at according to the Devine Formula which is what I learned when I was a student in nutrition at Oregon State University. I have emailed with the radiologist who maintains this site:
http://halls.md/ideal-weight/body.htm
Dr. Halls maintains that there is no such thing as a "large" frame. In college I learned to add 10% according to a large frame and to subtract 10% according to a small frame. He said that is bunk based on his bone scans of his numerous years as a radiologist. So, I go by the Devine formula without adding the 10%. (He suggests that most women go by the Robinson formula, but I am very tall so he agreed that I should go by the Devine formula.)
PLEASE do not sabotage that. There are many well-meaning people who tell me I am "too thin" when I am at that weight (not my husband, thank the Lord) or that I am "addicted to exercise."
"TOO THIN" - One thing that looks thin is my face because faces thin as we age (that is why women do Botox). So, I would agree that my face looks very thin at that weight, but my stomach and love-handles are only gone when I am at that weight, and I like those things to be GONE, thank you very much (no muffin top, no hiding the bulges when I wear more form fitting clothes: FREEDOM)!
Also, people are not used to seeing the weight I was when I played basketball, and that was my best weight ever. They are just used to seeing me in a different way (six years ago I was 20 lbs heavier so it looks "TOO THIN" to them).
"ADDICTED TO EXERCISE" - Exercise is good people. I lead a VERY sedentary lifestyle apart from my exercise time. I sit and do counseling and discipleship, teach, write, have meetings, etc. My hobbies are sedentary: reading and processing photos. So, I counteract all the sitting by exercising. I do not injure myself at the pace of exercise I do now. (Unless I do dumb things like pull a heavy weight for my lats without warming up like I did in February, duh!).
Exercise also keeps me very, very sane. It is the way I stay focused and de-stressed. It is the way to keep your serotonin and dopamine levels elevated. Here is the handout that I made for you:
Natural Ways to Elevate Serotonin and Dopamine
In addition to keeping me sane, it keeps me out of pain. I do not have the luxury to be out of shape. If I were, I guarantee you, I would be bedridden. I have too many structural abnormalities, especially in my pelvis, that make exercise IMPERATIVE. I saw the devastating effects of this when I severed the tendon in my big toe in 2009, could not exercise, and my back went out to the point where I was in bed for five weeks. So, many can fudge on this. I cannot.
In addition, cardio time is prayer time for me! I walk a LOT (and run and bike a little), and that is such great time talking to GOD! I love it. I missed it in the spring when I had such bad allergies and fell down the stairs and had to recuperate. Get me out in nature, and I am a HAPPY CAMPER!
Moving more is GOOD, The person that suggested I might be "addicted to exercise" is overweight and seems pretty darn unhappy to me as a result. So, I am really working to expunge (Isn't that a great word?) that person's negativity from my mind. It has taken since February to do so. I need to stay away from those kinds of people. They are sabotagers! Sabotagers be GONE!
Here is my little digression about the spring (7 pound weight gain 11 weeks = overeating 318 calories a day):
Illness + Injury (fall down the stairs) + Allergies led to Inactivity + Overeating = WEIGHT GAIN!
Yes, I rode my bike to and from campus two days a week and taught six Pilates classes, but the other days were VERY SEDENTARY and Pilates only burns about 130-175 calories per hour.
In addition, I have always been a firm believer that cardio curbs my appetite more than resistance training (Pilates included in resistance training) and there is definite scientific research to back this up: http://www.realjock.com/article/1306)
For instance, I went for a 10 mile bike ride and 3 mile walk between 5:15 and 7:15 last night, and I had NO DESIRE to eat dinner. I forced myself to do it because I need to eat at least 1200 calories (according to all the health research anything below this is starvation - but there is some research that suggests that controlled fasting at intervals can be healthy for you too), but I was not hungry in the least.
So, my shift from more resistance (again, Pilates is considered resistance training) this year meant I struggled to keep my weight down. YES, more muscle burns more calories. So, I heartily recommend a combination of the two, but I reduced my cardio drastically this year. It meant less PAIN in my body, but it meant less calories burned overall.
Here is the skinny on why I gained weight then:
Four hours of Pilates is about 600 calories.
Four hours of walking is about 1600 calories.
Do the math, I was burning 1000 calories less per week!
I won't give up the Pilates because more Pilates equals less pain, but I need to find a way to add my cardio into my work week. (The treadmill desk while I am working is something I FORGOT to do in the spring too, duh!)
All that to say is that I GET IT! I am so excited to have this health focus for the summer. I feel strong. I feel fit. I am in a better range even now.
I need to strategize for the fall though. It is so fun to learn and grow and find balance in life, isn't it?
YAY!
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