34. The Brothers Karamazov and The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

I read the full book of the Brother Karamazov years ago and love it. This was a nice abridged version of the story. 

I did not know the story of The Idiot, and it was excellent. 

I really enjoy these LA Theatre Works adaptations of classics! 

33. Candlelight: Illuminating the Art of Spiritual Direction by Susan S. Phillips

This author has been doing spiritual direction for several years. She tells the story of her journey with nine of her directees. It is quite beautifully written, and I learned a lot about direction from reading about these journeys. 

32. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

 

The Best Book Ever Written!

This was such a good investment of 58 hours. I loved this narrator. This is my third or fourth time through it, and I loved it even more this time. It remains hands-down my favorite book by a long shot. How much more meaningful to have been to Paris and to see the location of the Barricades and all the places mentioned in the book. It was also such a treat to see the house in which he wrote part of Les Miserables! I was in HUGO HEAVEN at his house, and the old gentleman who looked after the tourist was so tickled at my excitement. 

I read this book in the summer of 1996, culminating with me seeing the stage version in Seattle on my birthday, July 27. This was before I had homeschooled and read all the books from The Well-Educated Mind (press hyperlink to see how long it took me). Twenty-two years later, I understood much more of his references.

The writing is so beautiful. The story is amazing. I think everyone should read this book at least one time in their life! It is so worth the time.   



"The night was starless and extremely dark. No doubt, in the gloom, some immense angel stood erect with wings outspread, awaiting that soul."

Type Two: Indirection

Type Two EnneaThought® for September 7th

The overall keynote of Twos is indirection. Personal needs and desires are expressed indirectly, through service to others. Twos feel that they cannot go after what they want directly: it must be given to them by others as a sign that they are really loved and appreciated. Notice today when you are being indirect. (Understanding the Enneagram, 78)

Type Two Thought for the Day

EnneaThought® for the Day Type Two EnneaThought® for September 4th When we are identified with our personality, we forget that there is much more to us. Today, let go of your habitual self-image and allow your healthy qualities of unselfishness and altruism to unfold. (Understanding the Enneagram, 360)

George finally took the Enneagram Test. He is a Type 9

I cannot believe how accurately this describes our relationship. George is a very healthy 9 though!

Enneagram Twos and Nines are similar in a wide variety of areas and reactions; both types are interested in nurturing others and in helping people to be better, more comfortable with themselves, and more at peace. Both types also tend to be optimistic and to reframe disappointments in the most positive way possible. This pairing has an outstanding warm, kindly, and good-natured quality about it that each side reinforces. Twos and Nines are easy-going, hospitable, and undemanding, happy to make friends happy and to welcome them into their home. Twos bring to the pair a more outward and interpersonally engaging energy: they would most likely be the first to introduce themselves at a party or to go to someone's aid and comfort if they perceived that the other person had some kind of problem. Twos are proud of their relationship, their home, their family and their friends—and they want to share them with others. Twos constantly add energy and new people to the relationship mix. They are more talkative than Nines and more openly curious about other people, how they live and what they are like, and more eager to get involved in others' lives.

On the other hand, Nines bring a quiet steadiness and uncomplicated directness that allows people to flourish and things to get done with a minimum of stress and conflict. Even if Twos become upset about their relationships, or are feeling moments of self-doubt about how loved they are, Nines have a way of calming them down and of providing a great deal of unquestioned acceptance. Both types are drawn to each other to provide soothing and support; their home and hearth, pets and love of nature are extremely important to them. Both go out of their way to be considerate of each other, as well as of other people. Much of their best communication is non-verbal, physical, arising from their simple, direct presence to each other. They can develop almost a psychic link with each other. This is a very mellow couple, whose emphasis on hospitality reminds people of how healing it is to be around loving, generous people.

31. The Sacred Enneagram: Finding You Unique Path to Spiritual Growth by Heuertz

I loved how this author ties the Enneagram types to contemplative spirituality. There were times where it seemed a little too complicated for me to understand, but I kept swimming through the material, and I did not drown. I think it was the third book I have read on this subject in preparation for a seminar I will be attending in November (https://www.benedictine-srs.org/events Scroll down the page to find the event). 

I understood so much more after reading this book. I think I took the test on the urging of Michelle Delanty about five years ago (?), but I didn't really know what to do with it and now I look at the page of the Enneagram Institute, and after reading this book, I "get" so much more! I like that this guy is really into not just using the Enneagram for self-awareness but for "reconstruction, where we'll find signposts to help us navigate the reordering of our identity into wholeness" (p. 192). 

My spiritual direction training will also cover this so we can utilize it when working with directees. 

Again, this author (like the authors of The Road Back to You) reiterated that Type Two needs solitude for growth. This book helped me understand more deeply why this is the case. So I am grateful. 

I was surprised to see that it is only $1.99 on the Kindle. I am not sure if that price is temporary or not, but I am so glad because the copy I had was a library book, and I think I would like to have this one for future reference. I took quite a few notes, but it will be nice to highlight the Kindle book. 

The one thing that was weird was he mentioned that yoga "connects you to your body" (p. 174). He is talking about how mindfulness has come into the general population of Western society and not specifically about Christian contemplative prayer, but he really needs to clarify this in the book. (For more information about this subject see the excellent explanation of what yoga is all about by Pietra Fitness: https://pietrafitness.com/pf-not-yoga/)

Other than this comment that needs to be clarified, and the misspelling of the famous missiologist Ralph D. Winter (not Winters as the author incorrectly spells his name), I found this book to be very enlightening and mind-stretching (still need to read over some parts because much of the terminology was new to me)! I also think he nailed why solitude, silence, and stillness are important for the different types. 

I have a friend who thinks Mirror for the Soul: A Christian Guide to the Enneagram is a better choice, but the reviews for it are mixed. 

I decided to add my book report for this book that I did for my Spiritual Direction Training:

The premise of the book is that the Enneagram is more than just a personality test for self-awareness, but it is a pathway of reconstruction for spiritual growth.  The author does a thorough job of explaining the Enneagram and then goes on to look at each of the types in terms of contemplative practice.

In Section One, the author identifies the questions of identity of who we are, how we got lost, and how we might find our way home to our true identity. I totally agree with his premise that we lose our way through our childhood wounds (determine that it comes at 3-5 years of age) that are an assault to our original innocence. This leads to masks that we wear. This can be our perception of things that leads to wounds and not necessarily things that our parent “did” to us. The good news is that God wants to bring us back to who He created us to be, our true essence. Then, he thoroughly explains the Enneagram including its history, his story of how he discovered it, and how it has personally helped him. I found his explanations to be extremely thorough. I was exposed to the enneagram probably more than five years ago; but even though I had read The Enneagram Made Easy and the Riso-Hudson website, I never quite understood how it really had practical application until I read The Road Back to You and this book. This book helped me understand it even more deeply. He is quite thorough, almost to a point where my head hurt reading it as he got into the minutia of this ancient tool. I just kept reading and things began to make more sense. At the end of this long and thorough foundation, Finally, he goes through all the types.

In Section Two, he introduced the intelligence centers of head (thinking), heart (feeling), and body (instinctive). These can determine how we react to things. Head people respond with anxiety or distress, body people respond with anger or frustration, feeling people respond with fear or shame.  He goes into the basic desire, fear, virtue, fixation, passion, direction of integration, and direction of disintegration for each type that was very through and informative. 

I finally understood why sometimes I would go to a Type 8 when I am under stress, anger coming out of “nowhere” when I am not normally an angry person. I used to call them my “Mr. Hyde” moments.  I knew this would happen when I was in a hurry, had too much on my plate, rushed, stressed, or driving. I knew I coped with it by balancing my life, slowing down, saying “no” to people asking me for help, and eliminating people-pleasing. Now I understand the why behind going to this disintegration because it was my “innate self-survival reflex” and “subconscious self-preservation instinct to prevent [me] an unhealthy person from falling farther down the hole [I] they feel stuck in” (p. 122).  This was an “aha” moment for me. I am still trying to understand the integration side of things when I go to a Type Four. I am looking forward to a workshop on “Appreciating the Wisdom of the Enneagram” that I will go to in November to understand this more thoroughly.

Section Three is what makes this particular book on the Enneagram so great. It is about contemplative practice based on our Enneagram type. The author states, “One of the gifts of contemplation is that it facilitates a very gentle awakening to the misguided, selfish, and ego-driven impulses in our subconscious and unconscious” (p. 180). He purports that each need something in their contemplative life to being them back to “home” or their “true self.” The “gut-obsessed, body, control types (8,9,1) need stillness. The “heart-obsessed, feeling, connection types (2, 3, 4) need solitude. The head-obsessed, thinking, competence types (5, 6, 7) need silence.  “Stillness interrupts the addictions of gut people and prompts a reevaluation of their drive” (p. 181). “Solitude functions as a correction to the feeling types dependency on connection and comparison” (p. 182).  “Is it possible to head people to turn down the inner noise—everything that serves as a distraction—to be able to really listen?” (p. 183). This part of the book is what sets it apart from other books I have read on this subject.

This book informs my personal relationship with God in that it explains to me, after all these years, why disconnecting from people in solitude has been so important in my personal growth journey. I am so grateful that my bible study leader in college strongly encouraged us to get away and pray. I need to get away in solitude so that I am not distracted by other people and my compulsion to feel like I need to help them. “Heart people who find themselves constantly drawn toward others for affirmation and approval are often still very lonely because they are disconnected for their essence . . . “In solitude, a heart person emerges in painfully liberating ways. Solitude teaches us how to be present—present to God, to ourselves, to others with no strings attached” (p. 182). This so makes sense to me because I often find myself in days of prayer and solitude saying, “I had lost me in the midst of all the people and needs. I have gotten back in touch with me!” It will inform my practice of spiritual direction to be able to understand what contemplative practice might be healthy for individual directees based on their Enneagram type.

I would heartily recommend this book to others. It goes much deeper than most books I have read on the subject. Even Ian Morgan Cron, author of The Road Back to You, states that his book is just a “primer” and that this book is excellent for going deeper. I highly recommend Cron’s interview with Heuertz on his Typology podcast Episode 11.

Freewrite Tuesday Twelve

Twelve minutes on the timer. Go! 

I love that I can just tell Siri to set my timer for twelve minutes. Or I can ask Alexa doing it. Some gadgets are just fun.

I have loved having this Apple Watch. I have had it for one full month, and it has kept me moving. There are three "rings" that you try to close. One is the MOVE ring where I have an active calorie goal every day. The next is the EXERCISE ring where there is a goal for the number of minutes you exercise. I have noticed that when I set my exercise on Endomondo, all the minutes did not transfer over to the Apple Activity Rings, but when I used the exercise app that is built into the watch, all the minutes transfer. I will be sad to leave Endomondo. I have used it since November 2012, but it is just easier to have everything transfer with the Apple, but I do like that the Endomondo app on the Apple Watch has the bars that show you what cardio zone you are in! That was very helpful to see that visually. So I am a bit torn. Isn't that a great problem to have? First world dilemma. Oh brother.

Today is Paul's follow up appointment with Dr. Over in Eugene. This will be the last time we go down there unless Paul wants to make adjustments to his teeth. What a long 15 year journey for both of them! Man, it seems like yesterday we went down there. I don't even want to count the number of times we went there.

Tomorrow I will finish my Psalms in a Month Examen on the www.examen.me site. I love that site, but it will be nice to go back to my regular Prayer of Examen . I am also going to walk 1.82 miles every morning and pray in my Face to Face: Praying the Scriptures for Intimate Worship book. I love the mental health of being outside in the early morning before the city really wakes up! I don't always do that, but I sit too long in the morning. AND, I realized I was overeating 182 calories a day. So 1.82 miles is about 182 calories for me! I have always said that this is what I need to do, and I am going to do it. At least until the weather is super bad, but I am going to try to do it even when the weather is not good. I like the early morning because it is light. In the Winter it will be harder, but I am determined to keep the weight off this time (famous last words). Of course, I am not 'overweight" according to the charts, but I know that I am better hallway through that range of pounds, and I am determined to get down to at least a 23 BMI which is not too far away. I will definitely be there by Lisa's wedding.

Speaking of Lisa's wedding, I am excited for them. I had a little scare that maybe the cousins were not invited, but she had just sent them their invitations separately from ours. Whew! That sort of hung over my head after them not being invited to the wedding for their other cousin even though ALL the cousins AND their significant others were invited on the mom's side of the family. My kids would not have been able to come, but I still thought it was inappropriate to invite one side and not the other, but my brother was not alive to represent our side of the family. It was not my call though.

There is the timer. 

30. Sacred Companions by Benner

After reading this book, I realize that I have been doing Spiritual Direction for most of my adult life without even realizing it. I always called it encouraging or even shepherding, but according to his definition, I have been doing direction. I have never been one to say "I am the authority" and that is how he delineates shepherding from direction. I like people to hear God and follow His authority so I guess I have been doing direction. I have done discipling where I follow a set curriculum, but even then, must of what I do it just listen and direct them to God. 

This is a good basic starting book, and it was very sweet to read in my outdoor office this late summer. It encouraged my soul quite a bit. It is the first book in the spiritual direction school I hope to enter as soon as enough people from Portland apply. (Oh Lord, make it so.)  I am hoping that will be some time in the next year. 

Freewrite Fifteen on a Thursday Afternoon

The beginning of the week was quite busy (Sunday on). I was just needing to catch up on some things here at home and more importantly to catch up with myself. 

I am rereading Les Miserables, and can I just say that I still think it is the most wonderful book ever written! It is so good. I even enjoy his pontifications on politics and certainly understand more of the context than I did the first time I read it over 20 years ago!

Tinker's memorial was Sunday. It was sad to think he was gone so soon at 62. I told the story of how we "met" when he came in with a ski mask on and scared us all when we were having a simulation of a communist Bible study. LOL! It made people laugh.

Health wise I am cardiovascularly more fit than I thought. I am in the "Superior-Athlete" range! My resting heart rate keeps going down as I add more challenging cardio to my fitness regime. (But I was in that range before I started doing this - go figure.) I was biking and running and swimming because those really are the only three things that keep my heart rate up for a sustained length of time BUT the running irritated the "high hamstring tendinitis" that I got from pulling it when I fell playing Ultimate Frisbee on the beach, but it did not get bad for another three weeks later. So, my glute and hamstring on that side had atrophied. So I am going to Physical therapy, and she is a graduate of George Fox and is really helping, and she even does astym (sp?) which gets the blood flowing in the hamstring. It worked for my tennis elbow and bicipital tendonitis too. SO, I am on the mend, but I miss biking the most, but it also got really smoky outside so I probably would not have biked this week anyway.

I am disappointed to discover that I had gained weight from "Seminary Sitting/Renovare Rest" and multiple injuries over the last year. Ack! Anyway, I realized this time it was about 182 calories per day of overeating. When you think about it, that is a just 2/3 cup of regular vanilla ice cream! And ice cream is my downfall! I had this picture of pints of Haagen Daz attached to my gut and on my love handles! That is about how much I am currently bulging in those areas these days! I ate a lot of that this year for some dumb reason! So, I am going to walk around the block two times on top of all my other activities. That is also about 182 calories, and then I can splurge on ice cream now and then! 

The good news is that I am on a ROLL, recording everything since August 1, and the "France Five" has already come off. The "Seminary Seven" with be next! The "Fatal Five" from the injuries will be after that! LOL! I am on a good track, and I will not be doing Renovare again this year as it drew me out of the balance I had in my life with very little new things learned. I am growing so much more now actually. Cost far outweighed the Benefit, but that wouldn't be true for most people. It is a good program for most. Just not for me and my uniqueness.

It always seems to be three steps forward and two steps back for me!

29. Jonathan Edwards: America's Genius

What a lovely pleasant surprise. It was the "Free Book of the Month" for Christianaudio. I loved it. It is for kids but encouraging for all. I really knew little of his background. So it was very informative. The narrator was also very good.

Things I Love About Today Freewrite Fifteen

A reminder: a freewrite is a device where one sets the timer for a certain amount of time, and you just write whatever is on your mind without worry about spelling, grammar, punctuation. I did it with my kids, and we had fun reading their freewrite journals last Saturday as we cleaned out their papers from 14 glorious years of homeschooling. My son who most resisted this exercises does it EVERY DAY as a 23 year old. Go figure! 

Here we go! 15 minutes.

I love that I got a nice response from Coleman, a Renovare Institute small group buddy saying that there was no need to apologize for leaving. He loves what I do. I love what I do too! I love that God revealed to me that the RI was interfering with what I do best. 

I love that I fixed the Apple Watch "stand" counter problem all by myself. It was silly that it frustrated me yesterday because I didn't want to ruin my "streak" (19 days) because of a glitch in my watch. You see, I would stand and walk around, and the "stand" counter would not count it. I got up and walked around for many steps each hour for nine hours (totaling 3000-4000 steps), and it would not register my "stand"! It did not work again this morning so I unpaired the watch and repaired and reset everything, and it works now. Stupid first world problem really, but it is nice to get credit for my efforts! HAHA.                                            

I love that I don't have to be anywhere until 11:30 today, and I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow! YAY! After my 11:30 lunch date with sorority sisters, I don't have to be anywhere until 7 pm, and I might ride my bike there since I think I can get home before dark from her house, and even if I don't, I can walk my bike home because it is only about 1.6 miles away. 

I love that I have Amazon Prime Music and an Alexa so I can have worship dance times in my living room. I never knew that something like this could lead me into worship. I don't have to go searching for music. I just name a song and it plays. I love that. My worship in song has increased a hundredfold.

I love that I am spending the "Summer in the Psalms"! Man, are they really bringing back memories of when I struggled with so much in my 20s, and these Psalms got me through. They helped me get through that difficult student, and now she has been gone for three weeks, and I think she is not coming back. YAY!

I love that all my men are working in good jobs in their fields. Geo interviewed for a job in town on Tuesday. The impetus for leaving his current job is leaving at the end of August though. But he made this move to look for something here back in May. It sounds like an interesting job at his old place of employment, but I highly doubt the pay will be as good, but it sure would be nice to have that man home every night and me not having to be concerned about him driving on the roads every day.

I love that I am controlling my eating after about 15 months of no regard for how much I was stuffing in my mouth! I decided not to weight myself and go by feel because I want to feel when I am gaining. My stomach is shrinking again. I am not overweight according to the charts, but I have a weight I feel best in when I wear certain clothes. That is what I am looking at, I want to go by the fit of my clothes. It is going well.

I love that my sons thought to text me about getting me a Blizzard last night, and I took them up on it because it was so sweet of them to ask. I went over for the day, but I will make up for it today and tomorrow! 

I love that it is a bit cooler today. I will check the air quality.

19 seconds to go. I am out and sending this without a proofread. 

I love this song!

"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
And You are mine

[6x]
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

Oh, Jesus, you're my God!

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

28. Sanctuary of the Soul by Richard Foster

This is a sweet little book to introduce someone to meditative prayer. I liked it. I read it outside in my outdoor office (deck) in the evenings this week, and I practiced meditative prayer as I read it. It was lovely.

Circle me, Lord

Circle me, Lord,
keep protection near
and danger afar.

Circle me, Lord,
keep light near
and darkness afar.

Circle me, Lord,
keep peace within;
keep evil out.

In the name of the Father, 
and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Oh Lord, I pray that you would . . .
Surround me with the light of Jesus Christ;
Cover me with the blood of Jesus Christ; and
Seal me with the cross of Jesus Christ.
This I pray in the name of Jesus Christ.
Amen. 

Saturday Morning Freewrite

Psalm 52:1 - The steadfast love of God endures all the day.

This is the verses that stuck out to me this morning in my Psalm meditation. It has been so fun to meditate through the Psalms this summer! The psalms were my constant companion ever summer for years as I pored over them in the decade of my 20s. I really believe that this is what gave me an accurate concept of God. I am meditating through them now and think about specific instances where God met me in the pages of the Psalms. 

Today, I will be aware of the steadfast love of God throughout the day. It is a free Saturday which is so rare these days for us. It will also be cool so I hope that we can go for a little hike/walk when George wakes up. 

Yesterday, Mindy came over to get homeschool things. I thought that we had a box of books. I know we do, but George does not think we do. I did sell many of the books, but I thought there was still a box that I could not sell anywhere. But maybe not. Through her coming, I went through the "science" and "art" cardboard drawers. I have had that cardboard chest of drawers since before I was married! I think I bought them when I moved into my first apartment alone in 1983! Imagine that. Regardless to say, we are tossing it. It held up really well, but we are getting rid of it. After she left, we made a "Goodwill" pile from the extra stuff that she didn't take (which is most of it - I had a lot of high school stuff, and she is just not there yet). I have a paper tub for each of our kids, and I am going to have them go through them and toss what they don't want to save. It was fun to look at Michael's freewrite stuff. I have to find Paul's because his freewrites were so silly because he hated doing them, but it is ironic that he now does a freewrite EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. as a 23 year old. Go figure. The one who hated it the most would make it a habit.

We also have all these Seed to Fruit books we got for free, and they are just taking up space! I need to just get rid of them somehow. I want more space in my closets. This is a project that will probably go into the fall term when it gets busier with work, but I will not have the Kingdom Community or Renovar é to contend with for my time. So I should be much better. 

The weight loss reboot is going really well. I calculated that I was overeating only 143 calories a day throughout the last year to put on half of the weight I lost 5 1/2 years ago. I am still in the "healthy" weight range, but as I have said here many times, I know what weight I like the best, and that it about eight pounds lower than I am right now, and I like to be even lower than that so I have "wiggle" room. So, I have just about got the five pounds I gladly gained eating my way through France in June. Now I want to get the eight to ten I gained with two back injuries (bad massage and fishing day fall), two broken toes, and Renovaré Institute sitting! It should not be too hard. I already feel so much better with just a three pound drop. What I have loved is this new Apple Watch that I got for my birthday (thank you George!). It keeps track of my beats per minute so I am looking for cardio that is going to get my body into higher ranges for fat burning and cardio training (although I am, surprisingly, in the athlete/superior range for my age group already). So far, swimming and biking have won with an average of 138/140 bpm average. Biking on a hybrid mountain bike (touring or road bikes do not get my heart rate as high due to smaller tires resulting in less resistance on the road) depends on the traffic and stop lights. My first ride did not yield as high of a BPM, but my second ride definitely did. I loved doing both! The elliptical interval training was 126 BPM. I would love to go back to running, but I am not sure my knee is ready. I realized there was no lift in my shoe, and who knows how long that has been out of there. I think I remember switching them when I was in France in JUNE! So that might have been why the knee was acting up. We will see. 

I have run out of time for my 15 minutes of freewriting. Off to more time in the Psalms! 

Monday Morning Freewrite

23:1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures.    He leads me beside still waters.
3 He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

I am lying down (or is it lay) in those green pastures. Clearing many things off my plate this  August, and I am so grateful to have extra time that I usually do not have. I have been able to concentrate more on my health, and that has been so good. (My health is good, but half the pounds I lost in 2013 crept back on from the back injury at the Santa Barbara residency, two broken toes, sitting and doing Renovare reading and writing and lectures, falling while fishing in December, stress eating from too busy a schedule, and France.)  

As I walk and rest, you are restoring my soul, Lord. I know, for me, my body must be part of that soul restoration. I need to walk along quiet places. I have LOVED having one on one time (or two on one or two on two when George is home, and we have singles/couples over). I so missed that last year. It is more life-giving to me than anything. If I don't do a Kingdom Community, I would like to meet this way with people all year.  Restoration of my soul. Thank you.

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

Admittedly, I fear someone right now. You are with me. Leading me to meditate in the Psalms while I face this newest challenge with a difficult person in my class has been so good. Your character reminds me that I am not alone.  

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

I am so grateful that you are with me in any and every trial, every and any ministry challenge, every and any heartache. I believe in your goodness and mercy. 

Thank you for letting me dwell with you all the days of my life.

Friday Freewrite Fifteen

What a great week.

M & C were visiting from Pittsburgh so they came for brunch on Sunday. That was fun.

I taught my class on Monday, and the problem student was gone AGAIN! The class is so much easier to teach without her interruptions. I had also taught one on Sunday night with Squishy balls that had a younger crowd so I could really challenge them.

I had a long talk with my boss, and she was very supportive. So I am going to wait and see if this student returns or not. She did not come on Wednesday either. I just have zero tolerance for bullies. 

I ran over to meet with P who is part of a pregnancy resource center that wants to know how to better serve the OSU campus. That was a fun two hour conversation. She is a delightful person. 

Then, a woman who is going overseas came and told me her story since we last met up about three years ago. Wow! So much has happened. It was a very long story and took 5 1/2 hours to tell. I was exhausted afterward (yes, I an introvert, but you would not know it until afterwards when I crash from all the people contact). 

At the end of my time with this woman, Nan called me quite upset because someone in our community drowned, but she could not release the name. Prayers. Now we know who it is, and the community is reeling. I did not know him, but we have 48 mutual friends. So, he is close to those I am close to. 

Tuesday I met with people for my new job. I am required to meet with the directors, and there are eleven! I also had a 68 question "test" to learn about the facility, and the nice front desk guy helped me and the service desk director. I can see the advantage of doing this because I get to know the people that I am working with. Again, my boss was so nice to me and very supportive of my stuff with this new class.

After this, I picked Paul up from his impressions for his new retainer and took him to work afterward. I went to the library and the store.  I came home and got caught up on a lot of home things. I love more days at home. 

Wednesday she was not there AGAIN! I did a rolling class, and it was great. I was supposed to meet with someone for listening, but she had to postpone. 

Thursday was reading my book club book and meeting with more directors. George came home.

Also, I got this new Apple Watch, and I love its features. I have learned something: I am in the "athlete" category for my aerobic fitness. I knew I was in pretty good shape aerobically, but my resting heart rate that the Apple Watch reads regularly is BELOW the average for even an "athlete" category for a 20 something. Go figure. I certainly did not feel that way when I was hiking up Cascade Head with those 23-30 year old people on June 9th! I think it was because I had pulled my glute muscle the day before though. All that said, I am really happy with my watch, and WALKING really does keep one cardiovascularly fit! I have a hard time getting my heart rate up to my training zone unless I run. I am going to try biking today to test how high it gets. 

All that to say that when I was running on one day this week, my knee did this funny thing. I think it was latent from me pulling my glute in July. Neurologically, it sort of "gave out" on the back side of my knee. So I had to stop running. Then, later that day, I fell down the stairs! So, now my whole left side is a mess. My back hurts now. So I am going to see Dr. Myers at 2:45. So I might have to take a rest day from my experiments with my Apple Watch (I feel like "Get Smart" talking on my watch).  By the way, I love that it makes you stand and walk around for one minute every hour. HUGE help for me who gets so focused on things.

One last thing about health, I am taking August to adjust some bad eating habits that I have been slipping into, and I am on Day 3 and going strong. I am recording on Lose It! again, and I love that community there. I also quit all the sitting and writing papers for good by dropping out of the RI. It was the BEST decision for me. 

I am over my freewrite fifteen by four minutes. BYE! No proofreading. Just pressing. 

27. Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende

This is the August book for my Book Babes Book Club that I have more recently been able to rejoin because we do not have our ministry training on Thursday nights anymore. I learned a lot about the California Gold Rush, and that was really interesting. I also think that she is a very good writer, but I wasn't overly wild about the story. I seemed like characters were in and out so quickly that one never got attached to them like I think the author would have liked me to. It was just an OK story. Not bad but not great. 

Sunday Morning Freewrite

I live a very happy life. The last week has been so lovely. I guess I can go back to a great Anniversary on the 21st. We hiked Basket Slough National Wildlife Refuge, went for lunch in McMinnville (It was supposed to be a French feast, but the person who said they had an opening and recorded our reservation must have been new because we got there only to find that they are closed for lunch on Saturdays). Then we saw Mama Mia: Here We Go Again, any excuse to see Colin Firth in a movie is a good one. 

The week was good with a visit from one of our Kingdom Community grads who has been in Central Asia for two years. There was such soul-touching stuff. We love him so much. 

Monday I did a freewrite and talked about this class I teach. The same student did some over-the-top things that made me realize that this is not a class I want to continue to teach. I will no longer be disrespected by someone. I am done. So I wrote a good letter, but I have not heard back. I would like to be a long-term sub for classes there. We will see. 

After this negative experience, Nancy took me out for an early birthday lunch. It was lovely, and I am realizing I do best with face-to-face time on almost a daily basis. I love one on one time with people, and that is something that I did not get as much of when I was busy with the Renovaré Institute. I loved the Institute, but it is just not "my jam" for growth. I did write a letter to my small group, and the responses have been so lovely and gracious. I think I made a very good decision. So many of them do not have the option for deep face-to-face community, but I have it in spades here in Corvallis. I realize from the Institute how truly blessed I am in every way. 

The rest of the day was spent setting up my remote desktop for my new job. The IT guy was so great. I am grateful for all the positive people in my life. I do not want the negativity of the person in the class I am teaching. 

Tuesday was not a very productive day. I had a free day, but I did not use the time very wisely, and I am not sure why. I just had no motivation or energy. I also did not have many goals. You see, I am not used to having free days! I had one for the first time last Friday, and I was a machine, getting so many projects done that I had put off for months. Tuesday came, and I had not really thought through what I wanted to do. I did read a bit though, and that is good. I just needed to be more active, but it was hot. I did not walk before it got hot. So that was my big mistake.

Wednesday was delightful in class because the lady was NOT there. I still don't think that this is the best environment for me though. I just don't feel comfortable there. I cannot put my finger on it. The lady is obvious, but the rest is more subtle. After class, I changed, ate lunch and did Dial a Book. All my patrons but one was there and wanted to talk. So it took me much longer than usual, almost two hours! After this, I went to see Mindy. I had not gotten together with her for months. One on one talking is my thing. I must remember that! Face-to-face talking. I so look forward to doing that again. I think I read on Wednesday night.

Thursday was a very fun day. It was free. I Skyped with Elizabeth and was supposed to Skype with Fran, but her husband was being wheeled into surgery. Liver cancer. Not good. I had something else that did not pan out, but I cannot remember, but I had a back up. I listened to Les Miserables and cleaned the fridge! I also read my book club book. I also did some communication with everyone I needed to talk to.  On Thursday night, George came home, and we had a late family birthday dinner at Eat and Treats. I love my family. I love our harmony and all the laughter. 

Friday was my FUN birthday - Up early for time with God (that is a given), biked to breakfast with my BFF, Kim, biked back and tried to look at an iPhone but T-Mobile was so busy. Then George and I went together to buy my present: Apple Watch at the Simply Mac store and an iPhone at T-Mobile. I would have loved to keep my old iPhone, but it just would not hold its charge, and the guy did diagnostic and said that even a new battery was not going to help me. So I wish I had done this BEFORE France because I think it would have helped in picking up their network, but I digress. Anywho. Then we drove up to Portland for a good French dinner (the manager was a little snooty but our waiter was very nice) and a 2 1/2 hour sunset boat ride in a 1939 Christ Craft boat with George's friend, Seth, down the Willamette River from the Portland Rowing Club in Sellwood to the Steel bridge and back.  There was even a blood moon. HEAVEN! We drove back late and listen to Les Miserables. 

Saturday - we walked and talked and George did yard work. I puttered at home while the boys and George shopped. Then we were at Elise and Isaiah wedding from 3:30-10:00. :) 

Sweet week! 

Monday Morning Freewrite

I am here for another freewrite. I woke up this morning. I did not look at the clock thinking it was much later. I thought I might fall back asleep, but I did not and got up and noticed the clock said 3 am! I do love my early mornings though. The candle is burning, and I am at peace.

I only have two things that were hard this month. One is that the jury is still out whether I am the right fit for this Pilates class I am teaching. I have a wide range of ages, and I taught the exercises slowly in order for them to learn correct form, but that was too slow for some in the class who are younger. When I teach 20 somethings at OSU, I start slow too, but they know that we will progress. By the end, I am very fast-paced with fun and upbeat music. I cannot do upbeat music because people there are hard of hearing and do not like the music too loud.  (One lady being very vocal and critical which does not make for a fun teaching experience.) When you have an open class, there are always new people. I have decided to teach a bit more quickly this week. I am just not sure this is a club that advocates proper Pilates technique. Courthouse Fitness is all about technique, and they only teach classical Pilates. As far as I can tell, I am the only person who teaches classical at this club, and it is obvious the people there are not used to it. I don't want to change a culture. I might just ask if I can sub there and not teach the regular class because I am not sure the people there are ready for such a change. It is not bringing me much joy, and I dread teaching it. I am usually OK at the end, but it is not something I look forward to like my OSU classes.

The other thing was something that got resolved, but it regards someone who pretty much ignored me on their most recent visit. I expressed some disappointment, and there was flat denial. "Of course, you are a good friend!" I took that for what it was worth, but actions speak louder than words. I readjusted to the new enlightened observations about our friendship and let it go, but it did not help that that person talked to others about my expression of disappointment when I thought it was a private conversation. 

Here is the deal: I am blessed with many good friends. So I know that I do not need to be greedy about having more. I am content with the good friendships I have, and I released that person of any expectations in the future. The truth is that I had very little time for that person while they were here, and that time was filled with the friends who initiated with me prior to coming and made me a priority on their visit to Oregon. I went deep with a few, and my cup overflows as a result. So I am good. It was just rocky for about 20 hours with a pretty sleepless night after hearing that person had talk to others. I had to let that go, and I did. I am moving on in light of the new information. You know better. You do better.

When you think about it, only two things difficult in the last month makes for a pretty good month! It is just that the Pilates thing is something I am going to have to come to some kind of resolution with as I don't HAVE to teach anything. I don't need the money. I would love the extra time. Thinking about being a sub in that class might be a better option.