Life's Simple Pleasures are the Best

Life's Simple Pleasures are the Best!

I posted in response to Susan's post about how we seek joy, and I thought I would post here what I posted:

You posted after I had gone to bed on Friday with a "full cup of joy." So, I was going to have a similar question like "What fills your cup?"

Actually, it was a "joy full" week in general. As I look at my At a Glance Day Planner (By the way, this is my new one, and I LOVE it - July to July with tabs for the months and a month and weekly calendar and lots of "Quick Note" space for taking notes - but I digress . . .constantly) I see the theme for joy is:

People . . . While people can bring great pain, they also bring great joy; and I am learning to be very selective with the people.

(Positive people are especially nice . . .this is a sub-theme for me because positivity in people is really good too. NOT that we can't have struggles and pain, but I do not find joy in being around people that are negative about other people and put them down all the time.)

Presence . . .Actually, I have a whole talk on the difference between joy and happiness. Joy to me is Jesus Over You. This sense of God's presence in the good, but also in the bad and the ugly. That "God with us" Emmanuel kind of thing.

Peace . . . It goes along with joy. I am most at joy when I am at peace with God and men. So, being in regular touch with God is so precious to me and brings me peace.

Prayer . . .Keeps me filled with joy to be communicating with Him.

Pampering . . .I think I really find much pleasure in pampering myself now and then; and if I can do that with people, I am blessed twofold. I am also including pampering myself by making myself sweat and eating right. Joining that club was a way to pamper myself, and it has brought immense joy to be free of pain and my gut!

So, I look at this joy full week, and I see all of those things coming together.

Joy this week was:

Sunday
Church (Peace and People) - Peace-filled church, peace-filled people, peace-filled pastor and leadership. AWWWWWWW.......JOY INEXPRESSIBLE in this department. You never know how sick you've been until you are well.

Pride and Prejudice Party (Pampering, People, Peace) - What felicity to spend five hours in a home theatre (Movie screen on the wall of their family room!) with safe Sharon on my right and safe Rebekah on my left and four lovely new friends on the floor. Baked brie and honey, scones, organic pasta, peanut butter M&M's and Colin Firth. Can you say JOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

Monday

Lunch with Amy (People, Pampering, Peace) - Yummy Chinese with safe Amy who came south one hour to see me!

Tea with Terri (P,P,P!) - Spending three hours sitting outside on a gorgeous 75 degree day and talking about life with someone who knows me well but I haven't talked to in years. Leaving a church makes those people who love you come out of the woodwork to tell you how much you mean to them. JOY.

Tuesday

Biking with Mary Beth (P,P,P!) - She teaches a class, and it brings me such joy to see one of my friends who at one time was so unhappy find her niche as an exercise instructor in a cycling class. So, joy comes in seeing other people be at joy. It also brings me joy to work up a sweat!

Homeschool with fabulous boys (P,P,P) - This self-proclaimed Pollyanna (another P!) finds joy in homeschooling these guys. It is a privilege and pleasure for me that I have yet to get tired of. How is that for sick? How great is it to assign some homeschool tasks while I sneak away for one hour to ride the bike with Mary Beth and come back to boys who have done all their work independently and are ready to cuddle on the couch and read The Epic of Gilgamesh and lean more about prehistoric times? These kids bring me joy.

Music Lessons with Suz(All P) - I love this woman who teaches my kids banjo and piano. She is so positive (sub-theme). I spent some of the time watching my kids and some of the time going for a run and praying on campus as I ran through International Student housing and stopped to visit my old basketball coach!

Walking with Paul (another favorite Person!) - What a kid. Still love doing this while dad and Michael go swimming together.

Manicure with Sherri - It is pampering, but Sherry also just became a believer in Jesus last Sunday and couldn't wait to tell me all about it. So, it was so exciting to hear about what is going on in her life. The angels in heaven and I were rejoicing with great joy over that one!

Tea with Nourieh - My sweet B'Hai neighbor. Love this woman. She pampered me, and I love drinking Jasmine tea the Persian way (Sugar cube between the teeth until it dissolves)!

Telephone with Kim - A new friend named Kim! She is an evangelist, and we are soul-mates already! So exciting to talk about all the things God is doing in our midst among internationals.

Dancing with the Stars! - Pamper, pamper. Guilty pleasure.

Wednesday

Make up with Mary Beth - Arbonne personal party trying new make-up colors. Pampering at its finest with one of my favorite people. Mary Beth says that I am branching out like she has never seen me! This brings me great joy.

Swimming with Mary Beth and Elissa's kids - Three hours of sun, fun, pizza, and polite kids that play together without a single conflict. Mary Beth's kids and my kids have known each other since the womb, and Elissa is a new friend. It was so peaceful and joyful and Elissa's dry sense of humor made me laugh all afternoon!

Ephesians study with amazing people - I sat in silence as I listened to these wonderful ladies share from their hearts about what God is teaching them, awed and JOYFUL!

Thursday

Deep Tissue Massage with Anna - Already commented on this one in another post. Great JOY with a little pain and NO MONEY OUTLAY!

Bible Teaching with Beth - Watching Beth fly in her gifting and speak in front of women brings me such joy.

Friday - The most joyful day

Workout with Annie - Love my Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays of pampering my body by a good strength and cardio workout! Overjoyed at the results.

Visit at Lisa's - Deep sharing and tea while kids frolicked in the sunshine with remote controlled planes. No words for the joy.

Scandanavian Dance with the H's - My kids didn't want to go, but there was deep joy in being able to not coerce but to persuade them of the benefits (using my Dale Carnegie principles of persuasian!) and seeing them rise to the challenge of being enthusiastic, reaching out to a family in crisis, and learning dances because their mom is Scandanavian and they are too! They ENJOYED themselves, and I was able to listen to this mom in crisis pour out her heart like never before with 2 1/2 hours of uninterrupted time while the instructor occupied the kids!

Malay food with Masons - Asian food and fantastic fellowship.

Saturday

Prayer and Lunch with Ginny and Lorraine - My mentors give me great joy as they listen and impart their 164 years of combined wisdom and life experiences. Joy in their persence. Joy in seeing a lightbulb go off as Lorraine read an article about true forgiveness from World Magazine. I love it how things come together. That brings me joy.

Genesis with Nourieh - Studying the Bible with my Bhai friend brought great joy

Church with new church body - Already gushed above, but there were friends from our old church there and it was so joyful to visit. Also, the message on confession was totally well timed. God was there last night. That brings me JOY to see him cause all things come together in my mind. I have been praying all week that God would give me a "spirit of wisdom and revelation in the true knowledge of Him" and that the "eyes of my heart would be enlightened," and I do believe this was an answer to prayer. Presence there and I know joy deep down.

Movie with dh - Pampering by watching Monarch of the Glen with my favorite person.

Survivor by myself -

Sunday

Slug with family - I am still in my P.J.'s at 3:45 p.m. Pampering myself by some internet time, talking with dh and children, eating good food.

All week:
Great time in prayer and the Word brought great joy as I meditated all week on the prayer in Ephesians 1:15-23 and prayed it for myself and other people, read Desiring God (Piper is always delicious and joyful because he says, "The chief end of man is to glorify God by enJOYing Him forever"!), and read through some of the Psalms of David while Absalom was being a pill. The forgiveness, confession thing just came together this week. I can freely forgive and that gives me great joy.

And now I am done with these silly details of my life. Some of you might roll your eyes at this (I am just a detailed process person!) but it is good to reflect on the things this week that brought me joy. I am thinking that when we reflect with gratitude, it can bring us great joy, can't it?

Please Only You

So here I go again, again
I let myself get spread so thin
But I can see right through my skin
And I don't like what I'm finding in my heart

So many different voices call
And I try hard to please them all
I run in circles 'til I fall
So I'm falling on my knees and praying

Please, Please, Please only You, only You
Please, Please, Please take my heart, and make it true
Let everything I say and everything I do
Please, please only you
Please only you

For every moment of my time
For every thought that fills my mind
For every melody and rhyme
This is the prayer that I'll be praying

Please, Please, Please only You, only You
Please, Please, Please take my heart, and make it true
Let everything I say and everything I do

This is what it means to be
The reason why I live and breathe
To know that I am totally existing for Your pleasure
I'm still learning but I know
As this becomes my only goal
The more I find my heart and soul is filled up with joy when I

I please only you
I please only you
Please only you

My Place of Abundance

I am springing out of bed with new life and vigor. I am so happy to be alive today!

Some reports are in order.

Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller

I have taken foray into the postmodern church mindset and read Blue Like Jazz. I loved it, and I can't wait to talk to people about it. What I liked most was his openness to admit that we Christians cannot just jump into the hip pocket of the Republican party and call Bush Jesus because he is not. I really like George Bush. I voted for him. I believe he is a born-again believer in Jesus Christ. All that said, he ain't Jesus, and if another believer wants to vote for the democratic candidate, I will not condemn that person's spirituality.

I also really like his emphasis on Christian spirituality and not on Christianity. I loved the confessional at Reed College where the Christians confessed to the students the sins of Christianity. It moved people so terribly. What a beautiful thing.

This is recommended reading for all Christians. Michelle and I will go to Imago-Dei church in Portland as a result of it.

Suburban Christian Church

We are still as pleased as punch with our new situation at Suburban. The 2 1/2 hour talk that I had with Kim on the phone was so stimulating, so amazing. The people in this church are very outreach oriented. I believe that Kim has such the right attitude in showing love and kindness to people. She must have similar gifts to me. I really look forward to gettting to know her in the future.

I have to believe that God plucked me from my old church (that I still love and pray for on a regular basis) and set me in a place of abundance.

Psalm 66:10-12 (ESV)
For you, O God, have tested us;
You have tried us as silver is tried.
You brought us into the net;
You laid a crushing burden on our backs;
You let men ride over our heads;
We went through fire and through water
Yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.

Amen and Amen

The Conclusion of the Dale Carnegie Course

I have just completed 12 weeks of the Dale Carnegie Training: Effective Communication and Human Relations. What a time. I feel like it was a fabulous class for me on a personal level that will help me for the rest of the life. I was nominated twice and won one award, but the most rewarding thing that happened to me during the time was what happened on the 11th week of the class. Here is what I posted about it on another website:

We had to give a talk on someone who has really inspired us. We practice with our neighbor before we give it to the whole class, and my neighbor, Anthony, would not share his. I had seen he had written it out on a piece of paper, and I asked him, "Do you usually write them out?" He replied, "Not usually, but this one is really important."

Later, as we were volunteering to go, I volunteered to go after him, and when I went to sit next to him in the front "waiting" chairs he said, "Oh, my plan is working out perfectly!" What did he mean by that??????

Well, he gets up there, and he says, "I would like Carol _____ to stand." I was already at the front of the room, and I stood up, and he said, "Someone who has really inspired me during the course of this class is Carol ______."

OH MY! Tears.

Then, I sat down, and he gave the most beautiful speech, and I cried. He said that he was inspired by how I didn't listen to the doctors' diagnosis and I helped my son learn to talk (my first talk in the class about a defining moment in my life). He talked about how inspired he was by the fact that even in the difficulties that I encountered in my leadership in my church, I persevered (That was the talk on how I am learning to manage stress and I talked about how I am just praying for my partner every time I hear that she has said something negative about me and this has relieved my stress). He also said that he sees my stick-to-itiveness in even when I had to be a back up to an Olympic Gold Medalist, I still worked hard to make her better (My talk on an achievement in our life.).

By this time, I am going back and forth between extreme embarassment and extreme tears of joy.

Then, I had to get up and give my talk to the whole class. Talk about having to gain composure very fast!!!!!

At the end of my talk, my Dale Carnegie instructor looked at me and said, "It is obvious that you have had a tremedous influence on this class and that is a sign of a true leader."

I sat down and asked Anthony if I could give him a hug (I am old enough to be his mother. So, nothing wrong with doing that.), and he gave me the sheet that he had written out his speech on and said, "I wrote it out so that you could have it."

Can I just say that I was a bit overwhelmed?

OH MY!

The icing on the cake is that Anthony won the award for the best presentation of the evening. What a sweet win for him.

On graduation day, my dear husband, George, was able to come and meet everyone in the class. My trainer went up to him at the end of class and said that I paved the way for the other people in the class to be really vulnerable by the first talk that I shared. Also, John, one of the guys in the class came up to George as we were leaving in the car and said, "George, I want to tell you that you have one hell of a wife." LOL! I thought that was so sweet.

What a wonderful group of positive and fun people. I will never forget what I learned in this class, and I will apply the principles for the rest of my life because they are all Biblical principles.

"When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade!"

Sitting in the 76.3 degree sunshine and sipping my lemonade!

Life is so sweet. God is so kind. God is good to all and His tender mercies are over all His works.

It is well with my soul.

I am sitting out on our front driveway in one of our camp chairs on a beautiful fall 80 degree day. How perfect is that. The wind is blowing in such a gentle way, and we are having a neighborhood garage sale. I haven't had one in 25 years since I had a sale to sell stuff to raise money for the trip to Glen Eyrie in Colorago Springs. Amazing.

I am in such a good place. Life is so grand.

I had a two and a half hour talk with Kim S. about so many things that are just so on my heart. I think I have found a soul mate. Kim is the Children's Ministry director at my new church, but she also has a real heart for showing love and kindness to Internationals. She is teamed up with all these people like Beth A. It is so encouraging. God is so awesome. I had no idea that all of this was going on in our city. I have been so clueless.

Pinch me please.

I forgot to write about Anthony. I will do it in another post. It was such a positive thing. I am so blessed these days.

So, peaceful but a heavy heart

I am sitting here on a Monday where all I had to do is homeschool this morning. So, I have a very free day and decided to fast and pray from Lunch today to dinner tomorrow for the church that I left. I heard some very disturbing things on Friday, and I was even more disturbed when I talked on Saturday with the perpetrator of the disturbing things. It made me mad to sad. Now, I am just grieving in my heart. I don't want to give up hope for this church that I loved for so many years. You are calling me to pray.

BUT, there is so much hope about the future in my new church!

Carrie, the Family Pastor, is going to the Peacemaker Conference and wants to talk about discipleship.

Roxanne, women's leadership person, wants to meet to talk more about the leadership course she wants to develop.

Vicki, the Women's ministry director, and I had lunch and she talked about authenticity, prayer, waiting on God and not moving ahead before you know it is what he wants you to do, becoming a Mary when she was naturally a Martha, discipling, healing, her heart for women, and inviting me to come and share my heart on the second Monday of the month when I am ready to do it. What a sweet woman of God! I love the maturity that I feel surrounded by.

Joyce wants to talk about discipling college women!

Kim wants to maybe use Foundations for Faith with the Japanese students.

Cheryl wants to talk about the International Cooking Class.

Tina wants to talk about smaller group Bible studies.

God, you are already giving me women to partner with and they are all so NICE and NON-CONTROLLING!

I asked George to pinch me when we left church yesterday it was SO exciting to be there.

In fact, the sermon was on "Strengthening the Foundations," and that is exactly what God told George in his quiet time right before church!!!! As Steve (dear pastor Steve!) was giving the sermon, George drew a brick wall. He didn't even know that the front of the bulletin had a picture of a bricklayer making a brick wall with the quote:

"The strength of the building is determined by the strength of its foundation."

God is in this move. I know it beyond a shadow of a doubt. We have finally come home.

Following the Leader

I have now met with or talked to personally eight of the main leaders at our new church, and I have to say how very impressed I am with every single one of them. They are authentic and want to follow what the Bible says about peacemaking, and this is one of our main criteria for selecting a church.

I feel so very privileged to be a part of it all.

Thank you Lord. I am so amazed at how you have worked in us!

Home at Last

We have finally decided to stay at Suburban Christian, and I feel at home in a church for the first time in my entire life.

God is so good. Thanking and praising Him.

One sentence to explain my life

Laura, of TDS, asked us to write a one sentence summary of your life.

Still contemplating that one.

We just completed our first week of homeschool, and it is going GREAT! I love this life with my children. It just fits for our lifestyle and the balance we are seeking to create in our kids and our own life.

No one is running our life except the Lord Jesus Christ. I must remember not to let anyone run my life again or any church run my life again. There is a fine line between submission to authority and idolatry. I think I crossed it last year, and it was scary. I am back in a very good place again.

Patty gave me the greatest idea about using some of my tithe money to go and get pedicures and manicures from "Blondie" so that I can spend more time with her and continue to love on her. I definitely think I will do that! What a great idea! Thank you Patty!

God is so good.

I had the most lovely meeting with R.M. yesterday about the future of leadership development at SCC. She is so lovely. I love the people that I am meeting there, and I continue to just want to listen to His voice as I make plans for my future. Lord, I don't know what doors You will open, but I really want to be discerning about what ones that I need to walk through at this point in time. You are so good to me. I want to walk slow and listen to You all the way. Yesterday was so encouraging, but I want to walk through a door that You want me to walk through, and I have a tendency to get so excited about everything. I am so grateful that Your Holy Spirit will lead and will guide me to all the truth.

You are so very good.

I know I keep saying that, but it is so very true.

Part of My Day

This is a no exercise day. So, I slept in until 7 a.m. and got on the scale to see that my dinner and dessert at Novak's was still in my system. :) I am still at my goal weight though. I just would like to be lower, but I know that I am probably three pounds less than what the scale said this morning.

I spent a leisurely morning looking at Jesus On Leadership: Becoming a Servant Leader. This book covers so many of the things that we did in our leadership class in a much better format! I am so glad that I came across when I was at my mother-in-laws. I am praying about my meeting with Roxanne and hoping that God will open some doors there. I don't know what kind of doors I am hoping that he will open though. I am praying about that and will spend some extended time praying in the car and tomorrow morning on this. I need to hear from God

I also need to hear from God about whether to do the Myers-Briggs workshop for the Oasis Interaction Group and whether to join the cooking club with internationals. Also, should I do BSF/Suburban Ephesians/Bird's Eye View of the Bible?

I went to get my new crown. This is my second fitting. This time it filled the gap, but the dentist thought it was the wrong color for me. So, they are darkening it ever so slightly.

The boys and I worked on their timelines this morning. I think this is going to be a really good year of learning history with less details about every single thing and seeing most points in broader strokes and going deeply in only a few cultures. They like ancient history the best. So, this will be a very good year.

Now, the boys are doing their math, but they seem to have deteriorated into talking and laughing. So, I better go.

I must practice for my talk on stress relief tonight. I am finally ready to have the Dale Carnegie class be over. I have LOVED it in every way, but now that things are kicking up for the fall, it will be really nice to be home another night of the week. I only have three more weeks to go, and it only overlaps with my Bible study two weeks, and it doesn't overlap with Bird's Eye View of the Bible at all.

Friday: Two hour workout, three hour homeschool, make a meal for the Smiths, meet with Roxanne McAuley, meet with Teala at Iovino's Restaurants during Happy Hour from 3-4:30

Saturday: Workout, shopping, Dot photo pictures, Forsyte Saga.

Sunday: Workout, Suburban, rest.

Monday: Rebekah's for walk and prayer, homeschool, "Garden of Blessing" at Suburban.

Our First Day of the 2006-2007 School Year!

I'm keyed. I'm pumped. I'm psyched! (To borrow from the vernacular of my college days.)

WE STARTED SCHOOL TODAY!

It went great. Here is what we are doing for this year:

HISTORY

Starting all over again with the Ancients, but we will do those first 100 pages from our OLD history book, The Usborne Internet-Linked Encyclopedia of World History, and do the prehistoric stuff that we missed last year. I challenged both boys to write a report from this first leg of world history, and they both want to write a report on Dinosaurs. Michael's head is already turning with ideas.

I also introduced them to the Timeline books, timeline figures, and history notebooks. They loved the Ancients book covers for their notebooks.

BIBLE

I am having them each read a chapter in the New Testament and jornaling in a notebook. Trying to introduce having a daily quiet time every morning. Then, we will read Old Testament together and read a selection from The Awesome Book of Bible Facts. I also have timeline figures for Biblical characters that we can add to our timeline.

We also are praying through Windows on the World as we learn about many of the countries. Today we learned about the Garden of Eden and also prayed for modern day Iraq.

SCIENCE

We are going to let the dinosaur study count for both science and history. Then, I have the Usborne Earth Science book that I bought from Laura H. for only $2 many years ago. :) It includes three books in one. One on the earth, one on ecology, and one on weather and atmosphere. The second half of the year, we will study astronomy when we can do some star gazing in the spring. I will use the Ring of Fire Rocks kit for science experiments.

GRAMMAR

Just went to Kinko's and copied off the first fifty-five days of the Daily Grams. I stil love this simple way to do grammar every day in ten minute increments! I thought I had already done the copies, but I guess not. :) We will also continue our Vocabulary on the Vine studies with Greek and Latin roots.

LITERATURE/READING

Michael is reading the A.A. Milne poetry book called And Now We are Six. Paul is going to read the entire Narnia Series.

I will also continue reading A Child's Garden of Verses that I never finished last year! I know there is another Sonlight book that I would like to read from Favorite Poems Old and New. I will have to look it up in the library.

I also want to read some of the Read-Alouds recommended and one of our favorites: Detectives in Togas. Paul does not remember it, and Dad has never read it. So, I will have him read it to them at night.

Other ones that I am considering are:

Beyond the Desert Gate
Eagle of the Ninth
Flame Over Tara
God King
The Golden Goblet
I, Juan de Preja
Master Cornhill
Otto of the Silver Hand
The Second Mrs. Giaconda
The Shakespeare Stealer
A Single Shard
The Trojan War
The Wrestling Game
Aulaire's Book of Greek Myths
Archimedes and the Door of Science
The Bronze Bow
The Great and Terrible Quest
Hittite Warrior
The Ides of April
Mara, Daughter of the Nile
Mary, Bloody Mary
The Mystery of the Roman Ransom
The Phantom Tollbooth
A Proud Taste for Scarlet and Minver
The Saurai Tale
Shadow of the Bull
Theras and His Town
The Cat Who Went to Heaven
The Children's Homer

WRITING

Handwriting is a nice book I got from Bob Jones Press. I will have them write in their history notebooks about things we are learning in history. Much of their writing will also be their research reports. I will do dictation too, but I am not sure of the sources at this point.

SPELLING

It will be no more books for this homeschool mom. I am liberated from them. I will be correcting their writing as they write and give spelling tests from them. So much more practical.

MUSIC

Michael is taking banjo lessons and Paul is taking piano from Suzannah Doyle. She is fantastic. We will also be studying one of the BIG composers a month. This month will be Bach. I have a great Disney record on the composers that George had as a child.

EXERCISE

Still working on this one. I am thinking swimming after music practice on Tuesdays. I thought that we would do fencing, but it is in Salem, and that is a bit far.

ART

I want to finish up those water color books. I want to also do some nature journaling in our journals. I also want to use the Great Artists book that I have never used. Maybe with our coop kids!

CO-OP

Dee and I are really going to do it this year! I promise! We will do fun things and field trips and such.

PLAYS/FIELD TRIPS

With Co-op and also with the plays group. I think one play a term will suffice. The kids are growing out of many of the plays. I also would like to go to a Shakespeare play next summer.

BOYS GROUP

They will be meeting every Wednesday instead of every other Wednesday. Abigail also mentioned wanting to do something together on an every other week basis too.

I think that is it for now!

I will write about what I will be doing tomorrow!

Lifelong Sisterhood

I just went up to Lake Oswego for a reunion with my Bible Study from 25 years ago. It was so fun. I wish I had a picture.

Can't believe it has been so long!

I haven't posted since my birthday!

We had a great time in Seattle staying at the downtown Westin and enjoying the Aquarium and Pacific Science Center and seeing good friends like the Mossings and the Steenstras. In addition, I saw Rosalie, Lisa, and Sue. It was a great four and a half day and to top it off, I found a Tall Girl shop!

Still enjoying my emancipation and freedom.

Carol

My Birthday!

Today I turn 47 years old.

I feel so young.

I haven't talked about my journey to the Well-Educated Mind lately! Today I am reading Robinson Crusoe. It isn't on my "classics" list because it isn't considered a classic novel but more a precursor to the classic novel. I can see why as I read it. It is really more of a travelogue. It is an exciting one though. I think I will really like it.

I hope to dive into The Gulag Archipelego soon also. That is for my TWEM autobiography list, and it is a little harder than the other ones I have been reading lately. So, we will see how long it takes me to get through it. I really want to get back on track with the novels.

The journey of my "Well-Watered Soul" is coming along nicely too. I am learning much. There is much to humble me these days, but I am going forward with a positive attitude hoping that there is somewhere where I can fit and belong. Belonging is a big thing for me, and I am realizing that I never felt like I "belonged" at Northwest Hills. I am not sure why that it, and I am done trying to analyze it because it is no longer my problem, but there is always that fear that you may not belong somewhere else either!

Off to meditate and pray. I am so excited to be turning 47 today.

Carol

Long time no blog

I am living enthusiastically every minute. I am loving life and living large. I LOVE being free. I am mourning the loss of the women, but I am still seeing many of them. It is good to be in the place that I am in.

So, that is just a bit of an update of where I am at in this journey we call LIFE!

Carol

Wasted

I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by Wasted
-Carrie Underwood

This song has been so strange for me. There have been so many times over the last few years that I have cried to George saying,

"I don't want to wake up one day and realize that I have wasted over half of my life at a dysfunctional church."

Aren't the words in this song so strangely similar to what I have been saying to him?

Carol

Dale Carnegie - Week 2

What a great program. We learned memory pegs to help us memorize the nine factors for becoming a friendlier person. I will do them from memory:

1. Do not criticize, condemn, or complain
2. Express honest, sincere appreciation
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want
4. Be interested in the other person
5. Smile
6. A person's name is the sweetest sound to them
7. Listen to the other person and encourage them to talk about themselves
8. Talk in terms of the other person's interests
9. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

We discussed which ones were hard.

Then we all shared our presentations about a defining moment in our lives. What a great group of interesting people!

I won the Outstanding Performance Award for my talk about Michael learning to talk! I was also in the top three for the Breakthrough Award.

I received a Dale Carnegie pen as a prize!

What a fun class. Off to tea with Sharon Z!

Carol

A South Beach Getaway

In honor of our 16th anniversary later on this month (We are camping on our actual anniversary), we got away to South Beach, Newport for two nights of talking, reading, praying, walking, eating (at Chowder Bowl!), and just being together.

Such a valuable time during this transition time of our lives.

Dale Carnegie - Lemons to Lemonade

One of my goals with this move to a new church is to work on my interpersonal skills. I am great working with most people, but I have a hard time with the difficult people and situations. I don't handle stress or negativity well.

So, I thought the Dale Carnegie Course would be a positive step in helping me overcome these obstacles in my life and have inhibited me from effective mnistry in the past. I am committed to upgrading! So, I figured that $1700 was a small price to pay for upgrading.

Taking this class has been in the back of my mind for the past nineteen years. There was a man in my high school graduating class who took the course back in the eighties. It was great to run into him at a restaurant the day after my ten year high school reunion and see a positivity in his life that was very appealing. I know that only Jesus can transform us, but I also know that John Maxwell even recommends that we go to this course, even though it is secular.

After this first class, I sent my old classmate an email, and I am hoping he responds to my question about it. I want to know how it affected his life. and is still affecting his life 20 years later.

The first course was fantastic. It was the most positive and encouraging 3 1/2 hours that I have spent in a long time. We learned each other's names through association. We developed our vision of where we see ourselves in three to six months and many other things. So far, it hit it out of the ballpark for me.

I love the fact that they believe that you build on your strengths rather than your weaknesses. After such a negative year with negative people over me and working with me. It was a breath of fresh air to be around positive people again.

I am Making lemonade out of the lemons. Such a fun journey!

Life is grand, and sipping lemonae these days.

Carol

Fabulous Fourth

We went to the C's annual BBQ at Willamette Park, and it was a blast. Water balloons, water guns, tug-0-war, sack races and just good friends and laughter. That is what I carry with me about the people at my old church.

They are a wonderful group of people, but I don't think I will be separating from them. I have moved on, and I am excited about the options that lay before us.

CLOSURE
I have closure on the mysteries that surrounded our exit from our church. Nan did not break confidentiality. I had a hard time believing that she would, but I had to be sure for my own sanity. She is so upfront. I know we will be friends for a long time, and this is very important to me.

So, I think I can finally move on in peace. There is a good fit for us somewhere. I have much to do to grow, and I am heading in that direction.

Tomorrow Never Comes

You will recall that the White Queen said:

"The rule is jam tomorrow and jam yesterday but never jam today."

I was listening to Ginny Owens again today, and I have listened to this song, and I FINALLY get what it says:

Tomorrow Never Comes

It really does not every come. Therefore, I must live today to the fullest! Living in "day-tight compartments" as Dale Carnegie would say.

Waiting for Tomorrow

I'm waiting, waiting for tomorrow
Staring out my window until today is done
I'm living, living for the future
Just biding my time here '
'Til something better comes along
Resting in the shade of my daydreaming
'Til I finally awake to what's been missing


I belong here
In this moment in this day
Not some other place
I was made for
For a race that must be run
So I'll run on
Knowing that tomorrow never comes

My trouble, trouble with tomorrow
Is that I always try to borrow
Its worries and its time
While I spend my life anticipating
Today slips away while I am waiting

I belong here in this moment in this day
Not some other place
I was made for
For a race that must be run
So, I'll run on

When today becomes far more than I can bare
I remember ?????
Is driving me every near

I belong here
In this moment in this day
Not some other place
I was made for
For a race that must be run
So I'll run on

I belong here
In this moment in this day
Not some other place
I was made for
For a race that must be run
So I'll run on

Knowing that tomorrow never comes
Tomorrow never comes

Living for today that was glorious,
Carol

A Lovely July 3rd Evening

We spent the evening with two other homeschool families tonight. Turkey dogs, baked beans, potato salad, chips, watermelon, and lemonade.

The parents sat around and talked as the kids played out in the backyard. What a fun and intelligent group of six adults. I really enjoy these two families immensely.

We watched the sun go down as we viewed the valley floor from Vineyard Mountain.

Ahhhh......Life is so good.

Still at Peace

The transition we are in is really huge, and I have some unanswered questions that I am finally at a place to find out about. I can speculate all I want, but I needed to go to the person that I thought was the source of some of my answers.

We meet on Wednesday at 2:30, and I am praying that there will be answers that will unlock the mystery of everything.

George will meet with another person after this meeting. I am praying for everything that was exposed to the darkness will come out to the light.

You, O God, will bring every work into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil. (Ecclesiastes 12:14)

My Happy Place

This is my new arrangement of the furniture in my office. This morning. I sipped Oregon Chai and sat and had a great time with God. In the photo, you see that all my study tools (Greek Word studies with Zodhiates, Vine's, Wuest, etc) are on the left hand side so that I can grab them easily. Before that, the chair was on the opposite side of the room, and I would have to get up and grab and leave them in an unsightly mess on the floor. Now, I can get them one at a time and put them right back! The room also looks twice as big, and there is more floor space where you need it. I could even do my exercises on the floor while I put the DVD in the computer and put it on the ottoman on the right!

MY HAPPY PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Room with a View

Today was a day of rest after our 16 1/2 hour car ride over the past two days. So, we rested, but George also rearranged the office furniture, and it looks so great in there. It is a new "happy place."

Happy and peaceful,
Carol

The Lord Give You Shalom

Had a wonderful morning time with Chai Tea and a word study on Peace:

It came from these two verses in my Face to Face: Praying the Scriptures for Spiritual Growth (I feel like I am definitely in a season of growth that I haven't experienced for quite some time.) :)

O Lord, bless us and keep us;
O Lord, make Your face shine upon us
and be gracious to us;
O Lord, turn your face toward us
and give us peace. (Numbers 6:24-26)

You have loved me, O God, and called me to be a saint; You, O God my Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ have given me grace and peace. (Romans 1:7)

This was most definitely the cry of my heart in the tumultuous time in late May and early June, and you granted it to me at the Sylvia Beach Hotel, and it has not subsided since we made the surprising decision to leave our church of 28 (me) and 20 (George) years.

So, what is peace?

Old Testament word in Numbers is Shalom. That is familiar enough. A deeper study says "peace, safety, prosperity, well-being, intactness, wholeness, peace can have a focus of security, safety which can bring feelings of satisfaction, well-being, and contentment (Strong's). Vine's says it primarily signifies "wholeness." The Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament has a more complete definition of "health and completeness." It says that it means "much more than the absense of strife. . . the root verb Shalem better expresses the true concept. . . Completeness, wholeness, harmony, fulfillment, unimpaired relationships with others and fulfillment in one's undertakings. To wish one Shalom implies a blessing. . . Shalom is the result of God's activity in covenant, and is the result of righteousness."

Isaiah 32:17-18
And the work of righteousness will be PEACE,
And service of righteousness, quietness and confidence (security) forever
Then my people will live in peaceful habitation,
And in secure dwellings and in undisturbed resting places

The TWOT goes on that it is the "state of fulfillment which is the result of God's presence. Specifically indicated in the 'covenant of peace'."

Isaiah 54:10
"For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake,
But my lovingkindness will not be removed from You,
And my covenant of peace will not be shaken,"
Says the LORD who has compassion on you.

I just noticed as I typed that there are two contrasts:

mountains removed/lovingkindness NOT removed
hills shaken/covenant of peace NOT be shaken

COOL!

In 1 Chronicles 22:9-10 it is associated with calmness, rest, and to be quiet.

"The classic statement of this concept is in the Aaronic benediction of Numbers 6:24-26. The man to whom God has given peace is one who is blessed (barak) guarded (shamar), and treated graciously (hanan), by Yahweh. This is fulfillment through the divine gift."

Ultimately, our sar shalom is the Prince of Peace - the one who brings fulfillment and righteousness to the earth. Christ is our peace (Ephesians 2:14) who has broken down every wall. He is the messianic prince who brings wholeness and redemption to mankind.

My prayer has been for a season of peace in my life, and I do believe that He is granting it to us.

SHALOM,
Carol

Home Again

Home Again, Home Again, Giggity-Gig. :)

We had a great time in CA, but there is really no place like home. We returned from a perfect vacation. Everything went so smoothly with my mom and her move. It also went really smoothly with my brother and his family.

Intertubing was so much fun!

Did I mention I was free?

There is a big theme of freedom going on here, and I am more excited than anything.

Driving in a boat with the wind in my hair

We are in California for the week, and my brother and his family took us out for a fantastic day of boating, skiing, and intertubing.

This middle-aged momma still has some groove left in her. I got up on Chris' O'Brien ski without a hitch and had a blast! I haven't skiied in nine years.

Paul had a great time on the intertube too.

A good time was had by all. Life is grand when you are free.

Never forgetting that I am free.

Free at last. Free at last. Thank God I am free at last.

I'm Free

Here is another free song that has been running through my mind lately:

Through You the blind will see
Through You the mute will sing
Through You the dead will rise
Through You all hearts will praise
Through You the darkness flees
Through You my heart screams I am free

Chorus:
I am free to run (I am free to run)
I am free to dance (I am free to dance)
I am free to live for You (I am free to live for You)
I am free (I am free)

Just another free song!

Three more:

Shawn McDonald says..
"I wanna be free, free to dance and free to sing
Free to live and learn and free oh, free to be me"

Chris Tomlin sings..
"Caught in the half-light, I'm caught alone
Waking up to the sunrise and the radio
Feels like I'm tied up, what's holding me?
Just praying today will be the day I go free"

Ginny Owens sings...
Turnin' molehills into mountains
Makin' big deals out of small ones
Bearing gifts as if they're burdens
This is how it's been
Afraid of coming out of my shell
Too many things I can't do too well
Afraid I'll try real hard And I'll fail
This is how it's been
Till the day You pounded on my heart's door
And You shouted joyfully
You're not a slave anymore!

CHORUS:

You're free to dance
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing
Even joyful noise is music to Me
You're free to love
'Cause I've given you My love
And it's made you free
I have set you free!

My mind finds hard to believe
That You became humanity and
Changed the course of history
Because You loved us so
And my heart cannot understand
How You accept me as I am
But You say You've always had a plan
And that's all I need to know
So when I am consumed With what the world will say
Then You're singing to me, as You remove my chains

Free from worry
Free from envy and denial
Free to live, free to give, free to smile

Life is a Promise, Fulfill It

Mary Beth said today that she looks forward to hearing where God will have me fly. She remembers the prophecy that was said by Denise Beckhart to me during Candidate School in AZ. It was in October of 1994. She had a vision of a bird in a cage, and God said that he wanted to take me out of the cage and hold me in the palm of his hands and let me fly. George and I knew that day that it is in relationship to Northwest Hills.

I felt like I flew in Malaysia. I was free and unencumbered, and it was so great. I came back to a dysfunctional church culture that I have never felt the love and grace to encourage me to fly. I want to fly, and I want to encourage other people to fly too.

So, when Mary Beth said that today, I remembered that Women Becoming women gave me this bird:

I truly believe this is a confirmation that we are doing the right thing. This bird has the Mother Teresa quote, "Life is a promise, fulfill it." This also goes along with the exhortation from you to "fulfill my ministry." Lord, I will miss the friends at Northwest Hills, but I really think it is time to fly out of the cage of Northwest Hills. The ending of Women Becoming really became the vehicle in which to do this. I finished well, and I know that you are proud of me. Thank you Lord for teaching me to fly.

Welcome to Love

This song is the one that is ministering to me so much these days:

Welcome to Love by Ginny Owens

You’re always peeking ‘round the corner
Prepared for battle at all times
So scared someone might steal your thunder
So scared you might be last in line
You forgot you can’t earn
What you do not deserve

Welcome to Love
Let it surround you feel its touch
You can give up on being good enough
Welcome to love

You face your demons in the mirror
You wonder how you’ll face the day
You think about how they perceive you
Your every move you calculate
You won’t care about these things
When you realize you’ve got all you need

The Lord has definitely surrounded me with His love, and I am in awe and humbled. I wish that I could hold this feeling of humilty fast. The Lord is good. Oh, so good.

Today was the first day of our adventure of finding a new fellowship. I went to Suburban Christian today, and I have to admit that I loved it. The worship was fabulous. The people were friendly. The sermon was meaningful. They have communion every Sunday! They had a drama prior to the communion service about what worship is. An elder read a little "mandate for fathers" that was very good.

What is weird is that they just started an outreach to internationals. The pastoral staff is going through The Peacemaker book. The women's ministry wants to start a discipleship ministry. The pastors wife invited me out to lunch with Carol Menken-Schaudt (I wonder if I will become "Little Carol" once again.). Their assistant pastor was on Campus Crusade staff.

Lord, could this be the place for us. I don't know why I am not more sad about leaving Northwest Hills, but I am just relieved more than anything. I feel almost giddy and happy.

God thank you for surrounding me with your presence. Maybe it will be like dad's death where I didn't really break down until about six weeks later. That might be when it gets really hard. As it is now, we have made a clean break. We went one week, and we are not going the next.

Emancipation

Well, we did it! We have officially left our church of 28 years. I went to see Ginny and Lorraine today, and Ginny looked at me at the lunch table and said, "You look like you have been emancipated!"

The thought of starting all over somewhere is the most wonderful thing. I will live a life of self-reflection as I move forward in faith and see God open up doors.

Maintaining Peace

I had something happen yesterday that was annoying to me. It was also hurtful, but nothing is going to shatter that peace. I have an immovable rock in our God. In the midst of the discouraging thing, two Mormon missionaries came to my door, and I was able to share with them the wonderful plan of Jesus Christ . . .period. Nothing added to it in the belief in a prophet like Joseph Smith. I was able to share with them my journey, and it was awesome. Praise God.

In the Well-Watered Soul department, I am wondering when the best time is to start the Romans study. I am waiting on setting up a plan with Kim and am looking forward to spending one-on-one time with her.

In the Well-Educated Mind department, I am loving my reading of The Kite Runner. I hope to finish that today.

So, I am off to a free day!

Perfect Peace

There is a Ginny Owens song "Let the Silence Speak" that I have been listening to lately. It typifies so beautifully where I am right now. One of the lines says:

"I will lead you to a place of perfect peace"

It speaks of God's calling us by name and waiting and leading. I have found this niche lately that has settled my soul into being still before Him and sensing the perfect peace of His presence. There isn't much filling up my space lately. So, I have had so much time to be still. In that He has been pleading for my heart, and He has it. In the silence speaking, it really has done what she says in her song:

Let is move you
Let it draw you into Me
Let it free you
Let it heal you
Let it speak

I don't say this to boast, but I say it to praise the God in whose presence I "live and move and have my being."

My brains are securely in my head and not at the door

Hee Hee. I just read another blog of a dear friend who believes that evangelicals have been sold a bill of goods about the miracles in the Bible. I love her to pieces, but I came to a different conclusion. I was just at the coast on Wednesday night. I sat there in such perfect peace and confidence in my God. He is real and He is relational. He is there; and yes, He speaks to me. Everyday.

Oh, I love her though, and there is power in love. :)

Loving Limbo Land

Had a major breakthrough in all areas. It is huge. I don't mind limboland at all. Life is an adventure. I am living life in "day-tight compartments," and it ain't so bad.

Thankful to be out of the fog!

Limbo Land

I am in Limbo Land since that last post. Thinking that the separation would be easy, it has become very hard and painful for me and my partner. SHOOT!

I want to escape, but I don't think I am to leave this ministry.

Abiding Fruitfulness

These are the women that I have talked on and off about all year. What an extremely challenging and "out of comfort zone" experience for me. It was out of my comfort zone but not out of my gifting. We each developed Personal Mission Statements and shared our dreams for the future. It was a fabulous time.
Now, I am getting floods of emails with each of these women sharing their excitement as they put feet to their vision and are flying.
- K (far left in the back) has a vision for "bringing love and hope for healing change for hurting people" and is starting a "Changes that Heal" group for women who have suffered with knowing that God really loves them. She is passionate for wholeness.
- K (back second from right) has a vision for "creating a nurturing and inclusive community for women of young children" and is starting a children's retail/resale clothing store in hopes it will become a place for young moms to gather and find support in this isolating time of life. She wants to have big couches and a safe place for the kids to play while there moms chat or listen to people speak on topics that pertain to their life stage. She and
- L(from left) are going to a retail space downtown today to check it out. L is a "put feet to ideas" sort of person and it helping K in the implementing of her dreams since her passion is "fostering healthy, mutually supportive communities where each woman can grow toward wholeness in Christ." In addition, L is wanting to get women together this summer to talk about what they are meditating and journaling about in Scripture.
- J (second from left in back) is going to start breast health workshops through churches in my town. She is starting with our group! She is an RN with a passion for "empowering women to be aware of their own breast health." The old way of breast self-examination is out, and she is on a mission to educate every woman that moves about the best and most effective means of self examination.
- N (second from left in front) has just started that coffee shop, and she has a vision for "presenting an authentic life empowered by her loving God" in the context of her new JJCoffee Shop and in her neighborhood near the shop.
- MA (back row, fourth from left). She has a passion for "teaching God's truth to young children in a loving, safe, and fun environment." She has been our four year old teacher for years, and this class affirmed her in her life long mission. She loves what she does, does it well, and has fun doing it! She wants to start mentoring younger women in her passion and may mentor D after she gets out of grad school!
- D (third from left in front) has a passion for "teaching children from all walks of life through loving and caring for them," no matter what their background. She loves the troublemakers and really wants to reach out in love to the whole family unit. She is getting her masters this following year and will be discipled by . . .
- R (fourth from left in front) who has a passion for "encouraging women toward growth and contentment in God's plan through shepherding, acts of hospitality and mercy. She hosts a monthly prayer time with young marrieds. She also meets to encourage women who are struggling with infertility since she took many years to get pregnant. (She is due in November!). I will have the privilege of shepherding her next year as she disciples D.
- M (third from right in front) has a passion for "brefriending, encouraging, and connecting women as they grow in their walk with Jesus Christ." She might be helping in recruiting for the next year's Women Becoming class that will start in Fall of 2007. She will be helping refine and develop the curriculum for the next class and when it starts will be the "right hand woman" of the woman who teaches the classes (either me or my partner).
- T (fifth from left or right in front) She has a passion for "authentically loving others in witness of being followers of Christ." She is twenty-eight years of maturity and dynamite, but she has no idea of where she will go next year. She works with her Young Singles class at church and would love to see discipleship in their class. She is still praying about career options for next year. If she sticks around, I would love to invest in her.
- D (Far right) She is a sweet servant and intercessor. She is praying through her neighborhood with K (they live a block away) and has a passion for "loving God, reconciling others to Him, sharing His word, praying, and demonstrating kindness" in her neighborhood and at her kids' school. She also might be teaming up with K for some things too. I am also teaming her up with a mentor soon.
- C (third from left in back) She is a brain, higly intellectual, and has a passion for "preparing women to give considered account of their beliefs: theologically, historically, and personally." She may teach a basic doctrine class for women next year but often has a hard time putting feet to her ideas. I think my partner will be helping her since she is very good at that!
- My infamous partner, M (sixth from left in front). She has apassion for "taking life in Jesus Christ to the Women of the Nations." She will be going to Brazil with our college pastor to add a "women's dimension" and will be taking another trip to India. She will also be helping with a once a month follow-up course with our pastor for the women in this class and men in his class who are interested in continuing in leadership development.
- Me (the tallest one). My vision is to "shepherd women toward abiding fruitfulness in Christ through relational evangelizing, establishing, equipping, and encouraging." And this picture speaks of how I have put feet to a part of my passion!
That is what I have been thinking about and doing lately!

Flying?

I am in the mood for new colors and new fonts and new sizes of the letters. I want to spread my wings and fly and be out of the box that I have been putting myself in over the last few months.

I had to admit that I didn't respect someone yesterday. I feel like I have hid behind this all year. The issues are the issues, and I need to face them head-on.

Oh my, help me to fly, Lord. Please help me to fly.

Too Long - It has been almost two months

I don't know how everyone keeps up on these things. I usually journal a ton in my writing journal. Not sure why I don't here. I don't think anyone reads this. So, I guess it doesn't matter that I am not journaling anyway. It is my place to go to when I want to go.

School has gone so well. We are almost at the end of the school year and our five year cycle of World History. We started this journey when Michael was in Second Grade by going through the whole span of history in one big year. WOW! It was a whirlwind, and I thought that I would love to go at a slower pace and really relish it all.

Then, Kimberly gave me the manuscript to The Story of the World Volume I - Ancient Times. Back in October of 2001. It was so great. Here is is 2006, and I have about fifty more years of World History to go. What a satisfying things to go through the whole span of history and find how much I have learned with my kids.

I hate it when I get these stupid anonymous posts on this BLOG from people who are concerned about the "socialization" of my children. My kids are getting plenty of socialization AND they are getting a very good history education. History is so important for teaching values and such. It is so great. I wouldn't trade these years for anything, and I really don't believe my kids are losing anything in the process. They are only gaining.

So, I think I am raising little environmentalist (more conservationist), civil rights activist, pro-women, anti-war, anti-nuclear weapons, pro-life, pro-Native American men. Paul asked me today the difference between Republican and Democrats, and then he asked me what I was. I have to say I better switch back to Independent. I really think that this more accurately reflects where I really am. I think independently rather than being in the hip-pocket of any one political party. I am pro-Jesus. How abut the pro-Jesus party?

My reading of late has been A Prayer for Owen Meany, Atonement, The Land of Sheltered Promise, and The Road from Coorain. Owen Meany was sort of bizarre. Lots of bad language, but the concept was so unusual. I gave it a 7 at book club, not because I liked the language though. Atonement was really good. It had a bit of bad language though, but the writing was excellent. I was surprised to see such style in a modern day popular writer. The Road from Coorain was a fascinating look at a woman who was raised in the Australian Outback with a mother who experiences loss and drifts into control of her children. It was very good. Really enjoyed learning about another part of the world. The Land of Sheltered Promise has been sort of a syrupy Christian fiction novel, but it is holding a special place in my heart because it is reminding me about my time with Young Life at Malibu Beyond. It also has a composite couple names Gail and Isaac Barlett that are based on Gwen and Iral Barrett. Gwen was the woman who rescued me out of the depths when I had a breakdown half my life ago. I has been special to read and reflect upon that dark time of my life.

TrapdoorSociety continues to be a good place for me to be. I went to Baton Rouge, LA with sixteen other women from Indiana, Minnesota, North Carolina, South Carolina, Maryland, Pennsylvania, California, Washington, Texas, Illinois, Ohio, Georgia, Florida, and Louisianna. It was really good. I loved the time with these precious women, and I pretty much got one-on-one time with every single one. Some longer and more in-depth that others. It was special. It was very special. We talked and laughed and analyzed till we were blue in the face. I loved every minute of it.

I have three more weeks of Women Becoming, and it has been a very good year. There are three more weeks to go; and as I reflect, I am very grateful for the opportunity that I have had to be a part of it. I am thankful that Martha asked me to be a part. It has been hard at some points working with her, but I have really learned to develop a thicker skin, and I am also learning much through the pruning. I am still trying to figure out what my role will be in the whole process of this though. Still praying and waiting for a miracle answer to my dilemma, but I am so grateful for this year and the women that God has allowed me to become involved with.

Well, it is 11:30 p.m. I didn't realize it was so late. It has been a much better day today than yesterday. I am praying for a solution to this dilemma.

"My Day"

The last couple of days, we have been learning about The Great Depression and The New Deal. That has led us into a mini-character study of Eleanor Roosevelt.



WOW! I love that woman and wouldn't mind reading some other things on her life from some adult books. We read Eleanor with story and pictures by Barbara Cooney. They were beautiful illustrations. This dealt more with her early life. The other one was a simple "Step into Reading" book called Eleanor Everywhere: The Life of Eleanor Roosevelt. One thing that struck me was that she wrote a daily newspaper column called "My Day." In it, she worte about the things she saw while traveling around the country. She wrote about what was going on in the White House.

I had JUST been saying to myself that I should write about my day in a Easter letter for our friends (I prayed through our Christmas letters this morning. So, it made me think of this.) So, it was funny to see that Eleanor Roosevelt had the same idea. I also thought that that is what I am doing on this blog. I am just talking about "My Day." For me, it is nothing profound, but I like it.

One thing that I noticed about all the letters we read were all the sports and activities that people talk about in their letters. Their kids are busy. George and I were joking about how our letter would read. It isn't nearly exciting, but we LOVE our time together. Our kids are happy and enjoy school, enjoy their little group of friends, enjoy God and church, enjoy their tennis and swimming (Michael) and walks with mom (Paul) and hikes with Dad. Nothing very exciting about "My Day," but I feel like we are doing just what God has for us to do everyday. Nothing too overly busy or exciting, just life and love of four people and their friends and family.

So, about Eleanor. I guess I didn't realize the SHE was the one that more closely related to Teddy Roosevelt. FDR was a distant cousin of Eleanor. Thus, why they had the same last name! I didn't realize when I read the book Eleanor yesterday that her "Uncle Ted" that she so enjoyed visiting as a child was THE Teddy Roosevelt. She was her direct uncle. So, that was something new.

I just loved her care for the poor and less advantaged. She had a sad (albeit wealthy) life, but she gave back and overcame her sadness and her fears to make something so significant of her life. That was so inspiring. Paul said, "I can hear your crying voice, Mom!" Yes, I was crying toward the end of her life. A life well-lived is always a sentimental inspiration for me.

Right now, we are listening to Emily's Runaway Imagination. It was another one of those books that I had to convince them to listen to. I thought they would jump at it with it being a Beverly Cleary book, but they were biting. All it took was the first chapter on CD, and they were begging for me. I love this story of a girl in Yamhill County, OREGON in the 1920's. She is trying to start a library in Pitchfork (fictitious town), Oregon. So, fun! We are on chapter four right now.

We are stopping at the New Deal. We have set the stage for World War II by looking at the rise of Fascism in Italy, Naziism in Germany, Hirohito in Japan, and Russian Communism in China. We will take a break until the spring from the march of history. In the meantime, we are going to try to read some novels and biographies. I think George will read about Eric Liddel to the boys at night. I did a bit of his life from the Hero Tales II book by Dave and Neta Jackson. I love those vignettes they have of Christian heroes. I had thought of selling these books, but I might save them for any grandchildren that I might have.

Personally, I am also learning about the Holocaust and the rise of Israel through the autobiography of Elie Wiesel. It is called All Rivers Run to the Sea. I am about half way through and will be discussing it with Nikki in late March.

Well, the chapter is almost through, and we still have to finish our science for today.

The rest of today is really FREE. I am thankful!

Looks like
Homeschool
Wash sheets
Call Mom and maybe Jennifer Hellberg? Nikki?
Reading
Listen to Basic Theology
Bible Reading and meditation/prayer
Do Holy Spirit Bible Study
Prayer walk
Dinner Prep - What was it that I said we would have for Sabbath?
Olympics! (Work on "Inner Life" stuff for next year's Women Becoming while I am watching)

Saturday
NO BOOK CLUBS or OBLIGATIONS
1 p.m. Lunch with Teala downtown
6:30 p.m. Dessert with Greg and Ava (new neighbors)
I might bake some bread for our two new neighbors too.

Now what was I going to say

I came here intent on something profound to say, and I can't remember what it is. I am hopeless at remembering things lately.

Oh well. :)

Carol

Singing the Praises of Brainpop

I know that I have mentioned www.brainpop.com on this blog before, but we sat and watched about five movies today after we studied about genetics in our Usborne Science Encyclopedia. I can't tell you what a great augment it has been to my homeschooling and my own self-education. It is worth every penny of the $70 yearly subscription fee. Today we watched movies about genes, genetic mutation, DNA, diabetes, hair, skin, nails. After each quiz there is a ten questions quiz that reinforces what we just learned. At that point, you can print the quiz out and put it in your kids' notebooks OR you can have the results of your quiz sent to you email so that you can have an electronic record of their progress. So slick!

The movie selection is enormous. In addition to science movies, there are movies on every part of history. We also watch the technology movies. The other day we watched one on the MP3 player. Haven't you always wondered what they REALLY are?

There are also some excellent movies on puberty and thing like your period. They are very tastefully done.

The only drawback is they have an evoluationary bent. This isn't uncommon in any secular science curriculum and can easily be discussed with your kids.

Great site!

Carol

I read my book, visited with Nancy and dropped off her stuff, ran with George. I also spent another hour on my Jesus study. So, I just need to clean and do some more Bible study.

I haven't overeaten either! I am trying so hard to stay in my eating!!! So, George made some Valentine's Sugar Cookies, and I am resisting since I had some boysenberry sorbet after dinner. (Dinner was heart-shaped pizza).

Maybe I will get up early and clean instead of tonight!

Learning and Growing

Learned about the ear and balance today and watched two or three brainpop movies.

Learned about Ghandi's push for peaceful independence. Inspiring man.

Reviewed multiplying factions and double digit division with zero placeholders. I always need a good reminder in these areas.

I kept to my goals yesterday. I miss my FACED accountability, but the interest had wained so much for so many. It was time to leave. I am being accountable to Cheryl in South Dakota. I have about eight that keep creaping back on me. I am convinced this is water weight because I haven't changed my diet.

I will run today. Here is when I plan to do things:

12 - 1:00 p.m. Finish up homeschool and run for 30 minutes, 20 minutes of strength and flex.
1:00 - 2:00 p.m. Read All Rivers Run to the Sea
2:00 - 3:00 p.m. Jesus Bible Study and Bible Reading
3:00 - 4:00 p.m. Deliver things to Nancy (or whenever car gets back from swimming)
4:00 - 5:30 p.m. Clean and cooking prep.

After dinner, maybe Valentine's Day Celebration. Maybe I should go to get a heart shaped pizza? That might be very fun.

Carol

Learning in Homeschool

Today we learned about the eyes, and I had the boys label a diagram of the eye. I love learning right along with them. We watched two brainpop movies on eyes and vision. I love brainpop!

We also read about Cam Townsend who started Wycliffe Bible Translators. I love history!

I am also finishing up my God and the Trinity Bible Study for tonight. I am so glad that I delegated the copying of the homework to Lisa since she is already in the office these days. YEAH! My Mondays were often eaten up by copying that someone else can do besides me. Many hands make light work.

I am off to walk for 45 minutes, do some strength and flexibility and also I am determined to read a bit this afternoon.

Better go then because it is already 1:45! So this is the rest of the day:

1:45-2:00 Eat lunch
2:00-2:45 Walk
2:45-3:15 Strength
3:15-3:45 Bible study
3:45-4:15 Read All Rivers Run to the Sea
4:15-5:15 Dinner preparation and cleaning
5:15-6:15 Dinner and get ready for tonight
6:15-9:30 Women Becoming
9:30-11:30 Debrief with George and watch the Olympics!

This is the next ten hours in a nutshell!

Ready. GO!

Carol

Took a rest that watered my soul

I needed it. After the January 30 meeting of Women Becoming, I took a five day rest from all things related to it. I also shut down FACED email loop and Tia ended Grace Shade Tree website but not the loop. I took a well-earned rest from all that I had been doing in January, went to the doctor to see about my insomnia (she thinks it is related to menopausal symptoms), ran or walked everyday, and slow-down. Lovely. Just what the doctor ordered.

I am out of the prison that I chose to walk back into by please people. So, I said lots of NO's that week, and I am still alive. Now, my biggest challenge will be saying no to the person who badgers me most of all. She has been otherwise occupied, and she really hasn't badgered me for quite some time, but I am afraid that this summer will be another repeat of last summer, and I can't take that again. :(

So, I need to pray. Ginny and Lorraine are praying too.

Sunday morning is quiet. Paul is sick. So, I stayed behind to be with him and will go to second service when Michael can come back and be with Paul. My Lord and my family are such rocks and refuges for me.

Musings on a rainy day

Well, the morning was devoid of rain, and I had a great walk. Now, the rain has come, and I am still OK. I am listening to Ginny Owen. I don't know what it is about that woman, but she always speaks to my heart. She is a person who was formally in bondage, and I know that is where I used to be. Set free from the bondage of people's approval.

I feel like I have been set free, but sometimes I walk back in through the open doors without realizing it. I think I have inched closer to the door this month. People disapproving of how I do "me," and that is so hard for me. I had to set a boundary this morning. Had to say no when I had purposed before the Lord to set the next five days apart for rest and refreshment. I was challenged before the morning was out. I said "no," but I am in sitting in the prison room, my old familiar room that I used to inhabit. The door is open, but I am just sitting here looking at the comfortable walls. They whisper at me, "Well, you do have the day off. Your field trip was canceled. So, what would it matter if you had to spend this afternoon calling women to recruit them to serve communion on Sunday?"

Yet, I do know what it has done to say NO in the past. I like life outside the prison. The sky is so BIG outside those walls. I put a ceiling on God when I go back to that prison. I don't feel God leading me to call a bunch of women this afternoon. I hear Him calling me to worship and rest. I am doing the business of communion.

The fact that I haven't read ONE book this month should be an indication that I have been doing too much.

Lord, I felt so condemned by Shawn yesterday. So, not heard. So, not encouraged. BUT yet, you invite me to come and dine with YOU.

I hear you calling. I am off to read that book that my neighbor wrote:



How appropriate for a THIS day.

One day later. I am on a roll!

I read a quote in my journal this week that hit me:

"Every evening before bed, write the story of your day.
And make it interesting. Never tell a boring story."

Sr. Jose Hobday

I think I will use this blog more as a story of my day.

Like that.

Carol

P.S. Found a picture of this Sister on the web, but I can't figure out how to post it. Here is the URL:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/63902551@N00/18763424

Last time it was five, and this time it is only one

The pressure is on because people have this Blog address. I have had it for so long (this is my second one), but I never have given the address to anyone.

I have also been journaling like mad in my cursive writing journal. I like the process of writing "by hand" as opposed to typing on my computer.

Well, I had done a whole long post, and it didn't post! UGE. So, I am doing this again.

Homeschooling

Getting done in three hours lately. They are just into focusing and getting it over. Loving the process of learning with these guys. Learned about where the term Oklahoma Sooners came from (People who hid in the bushes and got into Oklahome before the land rush in the 1880's).

We are almost done with history. It has taken us five years, and I laugh when I think we did it in one year when Michael was in 2nd grade.

I am glad we didn't go to pre-Algebra. I like this review year for Michael. It was a good decision.

Reading is Winnie the Pooh for Paul and Hank for Michael.

They are writing more. They are even enjoying this Greek/Latin Vocabulary book I got. I am so excited about that. Grammar always goes fast and easy.

Science is the human body, and it is in my field of expertise (Nutrition required lots of physiology and I always smoked in those courses in college). So, I am enjoying the science journey this year. I especially enjoy our subscription to www.brainpop.com . Very good investment of $70 for the year of subscription.

Well-Educated Mind

I have not been diligent. Need to get on track with the Autobiographies. They help me to relax. I need to know this. I am reading All Rivers Run to the Sea by Elie Weisel. I was glad to see that Oprah's pick was also one of his books. That is providential, and I need to jump on it. Miss the interaction.

Discussing Madame Bovary with the Book Dames on Saturday at Susan's. I am looking forward to that.

Discussed Da Vinci Code with Book Babes, and I gave it a zero on principle. That man is going to have to answer to God for his "fiction." He is leading many people astray. I liked his writing, but I didn't like where he went with it.

Well-Watered Soul

Time with God has been sweet. I have revived my journaling after a break. I filled up a huge journal in three months. So much to process with the Lord these days with my class. I am glad to learn more of how to have a 24/7 dependence in prayer and presence. I thinking I am getting it. God told me something significant in October, and I keep going back to it. "Carol, I don't allow people to hurt you. I allow you to see in their character and life so that you can pray for them." I have had so many opportunities to apply this and not be so sensitive, especially with someone in this class with a razer sharp tongue and clueless about it hurtfulness. She is sad. I feel for her. I can pray for her and not be hurt by her. It is revolutionary. I am not good at blowing people off because of my sensitive heart.

Family

Sweet Michael turned fourteen yesterday, and we went out to Elmer's to celebrate. It was such a joy to sit across from these young men and lean on my man's shoulder. Life is good with these three. I can never take these moments for granted. I treasure them every day. They are the best thing about my life, and I am aware that they are all three a gift.

One month later, I return to my blog

Someone said that they check this regularly, and I haven't even updated it for a month.

I journal so much in cursive in my journal book that it seems redundant to journal here, but the pressure is one to keep up with the others that are now into Blogging. I started this such a long time ago. This is my second blog. My other one just wasn't there one day. This one has lasted longer.

Well, let's update:

Homeschooling

We have just gotten into being very efficient. We get everything done in about three hours now. (Not including their time with read alouds at night) I love their focus and their determination. It is fun to homeschool them. I love that 7th grade math is all review if you decide not to skip to pre-algebra. :)

I also am looking forward to being through the entire span of history for the second time. To think that we did ALL history in one year when Michael was in second grade, and it has taken five years to get through it all this time! Of course, this time has been more detailed.

I am sure they will like to get back to ancient history or we may take a year and do church history. I don't know yet.

Science is a breeze since it is the human body and in my field of study from college. I just didn't enjoy Physics stuff last year. Too impersonal.

Well-Educated Mind

Sniff, sniff. With all my busyness of this Women Becoming class, my passions have collided. I miss reading and reflecting with Nikki. I must carve out the time regardless because it is one of the things that really does relax me! I am reading All Rivers Run to the Sea by Elie Weisel (I can't turn the italic off, oh well!)

Book Clubs

Sniff, sniff. We had our last time at Burton's Restaurant. This family-owned business shut down on Sunday. It was sentimental for me as we discussed the Da Vinci Code. By the way, I thought DVC was well-written; but, on principle, I gave it a zero. I don't like the way he portrays Catholics. I don't like the false things he proposes (even though he hides behind it and says it is fiction. I think he has lots of explaining to do to God.

Well-watered Soul

Well, time with Jesus is usually so very good. I have been journaling a ton, and I especially liked journaling prior to the conference. I prayed for each woman in there. I haven't had any Bible Study to do in the last couple of months because of a break in Women Becoming, and I am ready to dig into these doctrinal studies and study a BOOK too!

I am just very convinced that as God has stretched me this year, He has really taught me more of a "Brother Lawrence" like existence. This is part of my pray of 25 years ago, to have a minute-by-minute experience of His presence in the daily grind of life and ministry. I think "Be anxious for nothing" is more and more real in my life. Praise God.

Ministry

Well, we had our Women Becoming Conference, and it was a HUGE success. I am very proud of the women in this group. Some did not contribute very much, but that is the nature of the job descriptions. Learned so much about leading. I have really grown in my capacity for people and handling their issues without letting myself getting "caught in the fray." Good things. I am also seeing the need to always ask for prayer when I need it.

Well, someone may be happy that I posted. I don't know if anyone will even read this, but I am done for the night.

Five Months Later . . .She returns to her blog!

I haven't blogged in five months and one day. I started this so long ago. I almost forgot that I had it.

We had a fabulous Christmas. I didn't need to "do" anything to fend off the "low" feeling that I often feel during this time. This was HUGE. I think going on my first Advent Silent Retreat really helped me focus, and I had a direction for the season that was just lovely and peaceful.

Not that it is ever busy. I have this aversion to overcommercialized and busy Christmastimes. I usually have all my shopping and wrapping done by December 1. This year, I waited until after my Advent Retreat and took a few minutes here and there to wrap the last gifts. I usually do TO much ahead of time and I am bored. Then, the LOW comes.

So, I felt directed to declutter, and I did. I deculttered my closets and went through the downstairs with the boys in order to organize and declutter their play area. Now, all I have left is the guest room closet (which doubles as a craft closet). It really looks pretty good down there, but I know that the boys' craft draw in that closet is in need of some decluttering. After that, maybe the boys' Lego drawers, but they really aren't too bad.

I just purposed to do it a little bit at a time. I am so "addicted to closure" that I overdo things to get to the finish. So, I took little breaks to declutter from which I took little breaks to read from which I took little breaks to cuddle kids from which I took little breaks to talk to friends from which I took little breaks to clean. It was a nice calm flow from one little bit to another.

I have also scrapbooked during this time, but I wasn't feeling led to it. So, I didn't do it! I decided INSTEAD to read through all those books that people have given me to read that I either

1) Felt obligated to accept and read
2) Wanted to read but knew that I really didn't have time with my other readings


So the week before Christmas and this week have been this, and I have loved it. I had eight borrowed books, and I have gotten through six of them. I have done it "slowly" and enjoyed the process immensely. Some were forgettable. Not too impressed, but they weren't bad. The ones that have impressed me amazingly were

Whose Land, Whose Promise about Palestinian/Israeli conflict
Blood Brothers by Elias Chacour

Both are excellent! Wished I had read them sooner.

I only have two more to go now: Scapegoat by Du Marnier and Affliction by Francis Shaeffer.

Trying not to be too addicted and enjoy the experience.

Blah, blah, blah. This is fun, but in anything, I don't want to become so involved with this Blog that I don't enjoy the life I live. I learned this on the Silent Retreat too! I also don't want to lose the art of writing in a physical journal. :)

We went to the welcome of our new worship pastor tonight at church, and I "clicked" with the wife. I like her. She is a homeschooling mom of three children. Their oldest is going into seventh grade. The youngest is five years old.

I am in a good place with NWHills right now. I want to be an encouragement. I am finding that now that I have left the people-pleasing behind, it is so much easier to be myself. It is a good feeling.

On The Well-Educated Mind front, I finished White Noise rhetoric questions today. Now, I am starting Possession. Then, I will be ALL done. A major BHAG accomplished! I am so happy :)

The kids had a fun day at church and playing with John after until 7 p.m. Then, we brought John back to the Smith Welcome, and they had a great time in the back forty. Mom stayed at home.

I am off to bed. Nothing profound to say, just part of my day.

Summer stuff

Hard to believe it has been almost two months since I blogged anything. So, I am going to blog a bit here and say what we have been up to.

We are loving our summer. Today, we pick my mother up from the airport.

The best news is that I finished the novels for the Well-Educated Mind. I still need to do questions for the last two books, but I feel very finished. It was an amazing journey, and I am very grateful for Nikki. She is just as determined as I am, and this has been so good!

I also finished my training for Interactive Metronome after four years! Michael has finally been trained, and I am happy to be done. Two BHAGS in one month is exciting.

Off to the airport!

SCHOOL'S OUT OR SUMMER!

Evaluation and Musings of a Free Homeschooling Mom!

We just took our last spelling test today! My oldest had two more pages and the test, but I told him he could skip the pages and go straight to the test. For a "follow the rules" kind of guy, it was a big step for him to LOOSEN UP and do it, but he did. We finished at 10:30! WOOHOOO!

Here is the Year's Summary!

Prayer
American Indian Prayer Guide was a hit-out-of-the ballpark kind of experience for us. We loved learning about their history and were saddened by the white man's treatment of our most precious national resource! It was eye-opening and a pleasure to pray for these tribes who have been so mistreated. No wonder many reject Christianity when the Christians were so stinky. (Sonlight Press)

Next Year: I was going to do Windows on the World, but I found a book through the Presidential Prayer team called Kids Who Pray for the USA (ISBN:1-4003-0296X). It helps them pray for the USA and its leaders with stickers and a banner and postcards. They also learn history along with it. Looks HOT! May do Windows after we finish this if there is time.

Bible
We started out loving the John: Study the Bible 4 Yourself by Kay Arthur, but it began to BOG DOWN. Three books just for one book of the bible was a little TOO detailed for kids, IMHO! We got to John 13 and decided to pick Chapters 14-21 up next year. Suprisingly, my great idea to include The Gospel of John DVD got boring for them too. I thought since they were making a movie with the Kay Arthur study it would be good to "see" a movie with a word-for-word translation. It bombed!

After Easter, we just read through The Ladybird Storybook Bible. This is our second time through, but they just loved this colorfully illustrated bible.

Next year: We will TRY to finish up John and read through Egermeier's or Hurlbut's again.

History
It worked to combine Story of the World: Volume 3 AND the Sonlight History Read Alouds from US History 3. It was much more US history than World, but that is OK. We used the Mapquest maps too. Also,