One sentence to explain my life

Laura, of TDS, asked us to write a one sentence summary of your life.

Still contemplating that one.

We just completed our first week of homeschool, and it is going GREAT! I love this life with my children. It just fits for our lifestyle and the balance we are seeking to create in our kids and our own life.

No one is running our life except the Lord Jesus Christ. I must remember not to let anyone run my life again or any church run my life again. There is a fine line between submission to authority and idolatry. I think I crossed it last year, and it was scary. I am back in a very good place again.

Patty gave me the greatest idea about using some of my tithe money to go and get pedicures and manicures from "Blondie" so that I can spend more time with her and continue to love on her. I definitely think I will do that! What a great idea! Thank you Patty!

God is so good.

I had the most lovely meeting with R.M. yesterday about the future of leadership development at SCC. She is so lovely. I love the people that I am meeting there, and I continue to just want to listen to His voice as I make plans for my future. Lord, I don't know what doors You will open, but I really want to be discerning about what ones that I need to walk through at this point in time. You are so good to me. I want to walk slow and listen to You all the way. Yesterday was so encouraging, but I want to walk through a door that You want me to walk through, and I have a tendency to get so excited about everything. I am so grateful that Your Holy Spirit will lead and will guide me to all the truth.

You are so very good.

I know I keep saying that, but it is so very true.

Part of My Day

This is a no exercise day. So, I slept in until 7 a.m. and got on the scale to see that my dinner and dessert at Novak's was still in my system. :) I am still at my goal weight though. I just would like to be lower, but I know that I am probably three pounds less than what the scale said this morning.

I spent a leisurely morning looking at Jesus On Leadership: Becoming a Servant Leader. This book covers so many of the things that we did in our leadership class in a much better format! I am so glad that I came across when I was at my mother-in-laws. I am praying about my meeting with Roxanne and hoping that God will open some doors there. I don't know what kind of doors I am hoping that he will open though. I am praying about that and will spend some extended time praying in the car and tomorrow morning on this. I need to hear from God

I also need to hear from God about whether to do the Myers-Briggs workshop for the Oasis Interaction Group and whether to join the cooking club with internationals. Also, should I do BSF/Suburban Ephesians/Bird's Eye View of the Bible?

I went to get my new crown. This is my second fitting. This time it filled the gap, but the dentist thought it was the wrong color for me. So, they are darkening it ever so slightly.

The boys and I worked on their timelines this morning. I think this is going to be a really good year of learning history with less details about every single thing and seeing most points in broader strokes and going deeply in only a few cultures. They like ancient history the best. So, this will be a very good year.

Now, the boys are doing their math, but they seem to have deteriorated into talking and laughing. So, I better go.

I must practice for my talk on stress relief tonight. I am finally ready to have the Dale Carnegie class be over. I have LOVED it in every way, but now that things are kicking up for the fall, it will be really nice to be home another night of the week. I only have three more weeks to go, and it only overlaps with my Bible study two weeks, and it doesn't overlap with Bird's Eye View of the Bible at all.

Friday: Two hour workout, three hour homeschool, make a meal for the Smiths, meet with Roxanne McAuley, meet with Teala at Iovino's Restaurants during Happy Hour from 3-4:30

Saturday: Workout, shopping, Dot photo pictures, Forsyte Saga.

Sunday: Workout, Suburban, rest.

Monday: Rebekah's for walk and prayer, homeschool, "Garden of Blessing" at Suburban.

Our First Day of the 2006-2007 School Year!

I'm keyed. I'm pumped. I'm psyched! (To borrow from the vernacular of my college days.)

WE STARTED SCHOOL TODAY!

It went great. Here is what we are doing for this year:

HISTORY

Starting all over again with the Ancients, but we will do those first 100 pages from our OLD history book, The Usborne Internet-Linked Encyclopedia of World History, and do the prehistoric stuff that we missed last year. I challenged both boys to write a report from this first leg of world history, and they both want to write a report on Dinosaurs. Michael's head is already turning with ideas.

I also introduced them to the Timeline books, timeline figures, and history notebooks. They loved the Ancients book covers for their notebooks.

BIBLE

I am having them each read a chapter in the New Testament and jornaling in a notebook. Trying to introduce having a daily quiet time every morning. Then, we will read Old Testament together and read a selection from The Awesome Book of Bible Facts. I also have timeline figures for Biblical characters that we can add to our timeline.

We also are praying through Windows on the World as we learn about many of the countries. Today we learned about the Garden of Eden and also prayed for modern day Iraq.

SCIENCE

We are going to let the dinosaur study count for both science and history. Then, I have the Usborne Earth Science book that I bought from Laura H. for only $2 many years ago. :) It includes three books in one. One on the earth, one on ecology, and one on weather and atmosphere. The second half of the year, we will study astronomy when we can do some star gazing in the spring. I will use the Ring of Fire Rocks kit for science experiments.

GRAMMAR

Just went to Kinko's and copied off the first fifty-five days of the Daily Grams. I stil love this simple way to do grammar every day in ten minute increments! I thought I had already done the copies, but I guess not. :) We will also continue our Vocabulary on the Vine studies with Greek and Latin roots.

LITERATURE/READING

Michael is reading the A.A. Milne poetry book called And Now We are Six. Paul is going to read the entire Narnia Series.

I will also continue reading A Child's Garden of Verses that I never finished last year! I know there is another Sonlight book that I would like to read from Favorite Poems Old and New. I will have to look it up in the library.

I also want to read some of the Read-Alouds recommended and one of our favorites: Detectives in Togas. Paul does not remember it, and Dad has never read it. So, I will have him read it to them at night.

Other ones that I am considering are:

Beyond the Desert Gate
Eagle of the Ninth
Flame Over Tara
God King
The Golden Goblet
I, Juan de Preja
Master Cornhill
Otto of the Silver Hand
The Second Mrs. Giaconda
The Shakespeare Stealer
A Single Shard
The Trojan War
The Wrestling Game
Aulaire's Book of Greek Myths
Archimedes and the Door of Science
The Bronze Bow
The Great and Terrible Quest
Hittite Warrior
The Ides of April
Mara, Daughter of the Nile
Mary, Bloody Mary
The Mystery of the Roman Ransom
The Phantom Tollbooth
A Proud Taste for Scarlet and Minver
The Saurai Tale
Shadow of the Bull
Theras and His Town
The Cat Who Went to Heaven
The Children's Homer

WRITING

Handwriting is a nice book I got from Bob Jones Press. I will have them write in their history notebooks about things we are learning in history. Much of their writing will also be their research reports. I will do dictation too, but I am not sure of the sources at this point.

SPELLING

It will be no more books for this homeschool mom. I am liberated from them. I will be correcting their writing as they write and give spelling tests from them. So much more practical.

MUSIC

Michael is taking banjo lessons and Paul is taking piano from Suzannah Doyle. She is fantastic. We will also be studying one of the BIG composers a month. This month will be Bach. I have a great Disney record on the composers that George had as a child.

EXERCISE

Still working on this one. I am thinking swimming after music practice on Tuesdays. I thought that we would do fencing, but it is in Salem, and that is a bit far.

ART

I want to finish up those water color books. I want to also do some nature journaling in our journals. I also want to use the Great Artists book that I have never used. Maybe with our coop kids!

CO-OP

Dee and I are really going to do it this year! I promise! We will do fun things and field trips and such.

PLAYS/FIELD TRIPS

With Co-op and also with the plays group. I think one play a term will suffice. The kids are growing out of many of the plays. I also would like to go to a Shakespeare play next summer.

BOYS GROUP

They will be meeting every Wednesday instead of every other Wednesday. Abigail also mentioned wanting to do something together on an every other week basis too.

I think that is it for now!

I will write about what I will be doing tomorrow!

Lifelong Sisterhood

I just went up to Lake Oswego for a reunion with my Bible Study from 25 years ago. It was so fun. I wish I had a picture.

Can't believe it has been so long!

I haven't posted since my birthday!

We had a great time in Seattle staying at the downtown Westin and enjoying the Aquarium and Pacific Science Center and seeing good friends like the Mossings and the Steenstras. In addition, I saw Rosalie, Lisa, and Sue. It was a great four and a half day and to top it off, I found a Tall Girl shop!

Still enjoying my emancipation and freedom.

Carol

My Birthday!

Today I turn 47 years old.

I feel so young.

I haven't talked about my journey to the Well-Educated Mind lately! Today I am reading Robinson Crusoe. It isn't on my "classics" list because it isn't considered a classic novel but more a precursor to the classic novel. I can see why as I read it. It is really more of a travelogue. It is an exciting one though. I think I will really like it.

I hope to dive into The Gulag Archipelego soon also. That is for my TWEM autobiography list, and it is a little harder than the other ones I have been reading lately. So, we will see how long it takes me to get through it. I really want to get back on track with the novels.

The journey of my "Well-Watered Soul" is coming along nicely too. I am learning much. There is much to humble me these days, but I am going forward with a positive attitude hoping that there is somewhere where I can fit and belong. Belonging is a big thing for me, and I am realizing that I never felt like I "belonged" at Northwest Hills. I am not sure why that it, and I am done trying to analyze it because it is no longer my problem, but there is always that fear that you may not belong somewhere else either!

Off to meditate and pray. I am so excited to be turning 47 today.

Carol

Long time no blog

I am living enthusiastically every minute. I am loving life and living large. I LOVE being free. I am mourning the loss of the women, but I am still seeing many of them. It is good to be in the place that I am in.

So, that is just a bit of an update of where I am at in this journey we call LIFE!

Carol

Wasted

I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by Wasted
-Carrie Underwood

This song has been so strange for me. There have been so many times over the last few years that I have cried to George saying,

"I don't want to wake up one day and realize that I have wasted over half of my life at a dysfunctional church."

Aren't the words in this song so strangely similar to what I have been saying to him?

Carol

Dale Carnegie - Week 2

What a great program. We learned memory pegs to help us memorize the nine factors for becoming a friendlier person. I will do them from memory:

1. Do not criticize, condemn, or complain
2. Express honest, sincere appreciation
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want
4. Be interested in the other person
5. Smile
6. A person's name is the sweetest sound to them
7. Listen to the other person and encourage them to talk about themselves
8. Talk in terms of the other person's interests
9. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

We discussed which ones were hard.

Then we all shared our presentations about a defining moment in our lives. What a great group of interesting people!

I won the Outstanding Performance Award for my talk about Michael learning to talk! I was also in the top three for the Breakthrough Award.

I received a Dale Carnegie pen as a prize!

What a fun class. Off to tea with Sharon Z!

Carol

A South Beach Getaway

In honor of our 16th anniversary later on this month (We are camping on our actual anniversary), we got away to South Beach, Newport for two nights of talking, reading, praying, walking, eating (at Chowder Bowl!), and just being together.

Such a valuable time during this transition time of our lives.

Dale Carnegie - Lemons to Lemonade

One of my goals with this move to a new church is to work on my interpersonal skills. I am great working with most people, but I have a hard time with the difficult people and situations. I don't handle stress or negativity well.

So, I thought the Dale Carnegie Course would be a positive step in helping me overcome these obstacles in my life and have inhibited me from effective mnistry in the past. I am committed to upgrading! So, I figured that $1700 was a small price to pay for upgrading.

Taking this class has been in the back of my mind for the past nineteen years. There was a man in my high school graduating class who took the course back in the eighties. It was great to run into him at a restaurant the day after my ten year high school reunion and see a positivity in his life that was very appealing. I know that only Jesus can transform us, but I also know that John Maxwell even recommends that we go to this course, even though it is secular.

After this first class, I sent my old classmate an email, and I am hoping he responds to my question about it. I want to know how it affected his life. and is still affecting his life 20 years later.

The first course was fantastic. It was the most positive and encouraging 3 1/2 hours that I have spent in a long time. We learned each other's names through association. We developed our vision of where we see ourselves in three to six months and many other things. So far, it hit it out of the ballpark for me.

I love the fact that they believe that you build on your strengths rather than your weaknesses. After such a negative year with negative people over me and working with me. It was a breath of fresh air to be around positive people again.

I am Making lemonade out of the lemons. Such a fun journey!

Life is grand, and sipping lemonae these days.

Carol

Fabulous Fourth

We went to the C's annual BBQ at Willamette Park, and it was a blast. Water balloons, water guns, tug-0-war, sack races and just good friends and laughter. That is what I carry with me about the people at my old church.

They are a wonderful group of people, but I don't think I will be separating from them. I have moved on, and I am excited about the options that lay before us.

CLOSURE
I have closure on the mysteries that surrounded our exit from our church. Nan did not break confidentiality. I had a hard time believing that she would, but I had to be sure for my own sanity. She is so upfront. I know we will be friends for a long time, and this is very important to me.

So, I think I can finally move on in peace. There is a good fit for us somewhere. I have much to do to grow, and I am heading in that direction.

Tomorrow Never Comes

You will recall that the White Queen said:

"The rule is jam tomorrow and jam yesterday but never jam today."

I was listening to Ginny Owens again today, and I have listened to this song, and I FINALLY get what it says:

Tomorrow Never Comes

It really does not every come. Therefore, I must live today to the fullest! Living in "day-tight compartments" as Dale Carnegie would say.

Waiting for Tomorrow

I'm waiting, waiting for tomorrow
Staring out my window until today is done
I'm living, living for the future
Just biding my time here '
'Til something better comes along
Resting in the shade of my daydreaming
'Til I finally awake to what's been missing


I belong here
In this moment in this day
Not some other place
I was made for
For a race that must be run
So I'll run on
Knowing that tomorrow never comes

My trouble, trouble with tomorrow
Is that I always try to borrow
Its worries and its time
While I spend my life anticipating
Today slips away while I am waiting

I belong here in this moment in this day
Not some other place
I was made for
For a race that must be run
So, I'll run on

When today becomes far more than I can bare
I remember ?????
Is driving me every near

I belong here
In this moment in this day
Not some other place
I was made for
For a race that must be run
So I'll run on

I belong here
In this moment in this day
Not some other place
I was made for
For a race that must be run
So I'll run on

Knowing that tomorrow never comes
Tomorrow never comes

Living for today that was glorious,
Carol

A Lovely July 3rd Evening

We spent the evening with two other homeschool families tonight. Turkey dogs, baked beans, potato salad, chips, watermelon, and lemonade.

The parents sat around and talked as the kids played out in the backyard. What a fun and intelligent group of six adults. I really enjoy these two families immensely.

We watched the sun go down as we viewed the valley floor from Vineyard Mountain.

Ahhhh......Life is so good.

Still at Peace

The transition we are in is really huge, and I have some unanswered questions that I am finally at a place to find out about. I can speculate all I want, but I needed to go to the person that I thought was the source of some of my answers.

We meet on Wednesday at 2:30, and I am praying that there will be answers that will unlock the mystery of everything.

George will meet with another person after this meeting. I am praying for everything that was exposed to the darkness will come out to the light.

You, O God, will bring every work into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil. (Ecclesiastes 12:14)

My Happy Place

This is my new arrangement of the furniture in my office. This morning. I sipped Oregon Chai and sat and had a great time with God. In the photo, you see that all my study tools (Greek Word studies with Zodhiates, Vine's, Wuest, etc) are on the left hand side so that I can grab them easily. Before that, the chair was on the opposite side of the room, and I would have to get up and grab and leave them in an unsightly mess on the floor. Now, I can get them one at a time and put them right back! The room also looks twice as big, and there is more floor space where you need it. I could even do my exercises on the floor while I put the DVD in the computer and put it on the ottoman on the right!

MY HAPPY PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Room with a View

Today was a day of rest after our 16 1/2 hour car ride over the past two days. So, we rested, but George also rearranged the office furniture, and it looks so great in there. It is a new "happy place."

Happy and peaceful,
Carol

The Lord Give You Shalom

Had a wonderful morning time with Chai Tea and a word study on Peace:

It came from these two verses in my Face to Face: Praying the Scriptures for Spiritual Growth (I feel like I am definitely in a season of growth that I haven't experienced for quite some time.) :)

O Lord, bless us and keep us;
O Lord, make Your face shine upon us
and be gracious to us;
O Lord, turn your face toward us
and give us peace. (Numbers 6:24-26)

You have loved me, O God, and called me to be a saint; You, O God my Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ have given me grace and peace. (Romans 1:7)

This was most definitely the cry of my heart in the tumultuous time in late May and early June, and you granted it to me at the Sylvia Beach Hotel, and it has not subsided since we made the surprising decision to leave our church of 28 (me) and 20 (George) years.

So, what is peace?

Old Testament word in Numbers is Shalom. That is familiar enough. A deeper study says "peace, safety, prosperity, well-being, intactness, wholeness, peace can have a focus of security, safety which can bring feelings of satisfaction, well-being, and contentment (Strong's). Vine's says it primarily signifies "wholeness." The Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament has a more complete definition of "health and completeness." It says that it means "much more than the absense of strife. . . the root verb Shalem better expresses the true concept. . . Completeness, wholeness, harmony, fulfillment, unimpaired relationships with others and fulfillment in one's undertakings. To wish one Shalom implies a blessing. . . Shalom is the result of God's activity in covenant, and is the result of righteousness."

Isaiah 32:17-18
And the work of righteousness will be PEACE,
And service of righteousness, quietness and confidence (security) forever
Then my people will live in peaceful habitation,
And in secure dwellings and in undisturbed resting places

The TWOT goes on that it is the "state of fulfillment which is the result of God's presence. Specifically indicated in the 'covenant of peace'."

Isaiah 54:10
"For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake,
But my lovingkindness will not be removed from You,
And my covenant of peace will not be shaken,"
Says the LORD who has compassion on you.

I just noticed as I typed that there are two contrasts:

mountains removed/lovingkindness NOT removed
hills shaken/covenant of peace NOT be shaken

COOL!

In 1 Chronicles 22:9-10 it is associated with calmness, rest, and to be quiet.

"The classic statement of this concept is in the Aaronic benediction of Numbers 6:24-26. The man to whom God has given peace is one who is blessed (barak) guarded (shamar), and treated graciously (hanan), by Yahweh. This is fulfillment through the divine gift."

Ultimately, our sar shalom is the Prince of Peace - the one who brings fulfillment and righteousness to the earth. Christ is our peace (Ephesians 2:14) who has broken down every wall. He is the messianic prince who brings wholeness and redemption to mankind.

My prayer has been for a season of peace in my life, and I do believe that He is granting it to us.

SHALOM,
Carol

Home Again

Home Again, Home Again, Giggity-Gig. :)

We had a great time in CA, but there is really no place like home. We returned from a perfect vacation. Everything went so smoothly with my mom and her move. It also went really smoothly with my brother and his family.

Intertubing was so much fun!

Did I mention I was free?

There is a big theme of freedom going on here, and I am more excited than anything.

Driving in a boat with the wind in my hair

We are in California for the week, and my brother and his family took us out for a fantastic day of boating, skiing, and intertubing.

This middle-aged momma still has some groove left in her. I got up on Chris' O'Brien ski without a hitch and had a blast! I haven't skiied in nine years.

Paul had a great time on the intertube too.

A good time was had by all. Life is grand when you are free.

Never forgetting that I am free.

Free at last. Free at last. Thank God I am free at last.

I'm Free

Here is another free song that has been running through my mind lately:

Through You the blind will see
Through You the mute will sing
Through You the dead will rise
Through You all hearts will praise
Through You the darkness flees
Through You my heart screams I am free

Chorus:
I am free to run (I am free to run)
I am free to dance (I am free to dance)
I am free to live for You (I am free to live for You)
I am free (I am free)

Just another free song!

Three more:

Shawn McDonald says..
"I wanna be free, free to dance and free to sing
Free to live and learn and free oh, free to be me"

Chris Tomlin sings..
"Caught in the half-light, I'm caught alone
Waking up to the sunrise and the radio
Feels like I'm tied up, what's holding me?
Just praying today will be the day I go free"

Ginny Owens sings...
Turnin' molehills into mountains
Makin' big deals out of small ones
Bearing gifts as if they're burdens
This is how it's been
Afraid of coming out of my shell
Too many things I can't do too well
Afraid I'll try real hard And I'll fail
This is how it's been
Till the day You pounded on my heart's door
And You shouted joyfully
You're not a slave anymore!

CHORUS:

You're free to dance
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing
Even joyful noise is music to Me
You're free to love
'Cause I've given you My love
And it's made you free
I have set you free!

My mind finds hard to believe
That You became humanity and
Changed the course of history
Because You loved us so
And my heart cannot understand
How You accept me as I am
But You say You've always had a plan
And that's all I need to know
So when I am consumed With what the world will say
Then You're singing to me, as You remove my chains

Free from worry
Free from envy and denial
Free to live, free to give, free to smile

Life is a Promise, Fulfill It

Mary Beth said today that she looks forward to hearing where God will have me fly. She remembers the prophecy that was said by Denise Beckhart to me during Candidate School in AZ. It was in October of 1994. She had a vision of a bird in a cage, and God said that he wanted to take me out of the cage and hold me in the palm of his hands and let me fly. George and I knew that day that it is in relationship to Northwest Hills.

I felt like I flew in Malaysia. I was free and unencumbered, and it was so great. I came back to a dysfunctional church culture that I have never felt the love and grace to encourage me to fly. I want to fly, and I want to encourage other people to fly too.

So, when Mary Beth said that today, I remembered that Women Becoming women gave me this bird:

I truly believe this is a confirmation that we are doing the right thing. This bird has the Mother Teresa quote, "Life is a promise, fulfill it." This also goes along with the exhortation from you to "fulfill my ministry." Lord, I will miss the friends at Northwest Hills, but I really think it is time to fly out of the cage of Northwest Hills. The ending of Women Becoming really became the vehicle in which to do this. I finished well, and I know that you are proud of me. Thank you Lord for teaching me to fly.

Welcome to Love

This song is the one that is ministering to me so much these days:

Welcome to Love by Ginny Owens

You’re always peeking ‘round the corner
Prepared for battle at all times
So scared someone might steal your thunder
So scared you might be last in line
You forgot you can’t earn
What you do not deserve

Welcome to Love
Let it surround you feel its touch
You can give up on being good enough
Welcome to love

You face your demons in the mirror
You wonder how you’ll face the day
You think about how they perceive you
Your every move you calculate
You won’t care about these things
When you realize you’ve got all you need

The Lord has definitely surrounded me with His love, and I am in awe and humbled. I wish that I could hold this feeling of humilty fast. The Lord is good. Oh, so good.

Today was the first day of our adventure of finding a new fellowship. I went to Suburban Christian today, and I have to admit that I loved it. The worship was fabulous. The people were friendly. The sermon was meaningful. They have communion every Sunday! They had a drama prior to the communion service about what worship is. An elder read a little "mandate for fathers" that was very good.

What is weird is that they just started an outreach to internationals. The pastoral staff is going through The Peacemaker book. The women's ministry wants to start a discipleship ministry. The pastors wife invited me out to lunch with Carol Menken-Schaudt (I wonder if I will become "Little Carol" once again.). Their assistant pastor was on Campus Crusade staff.

Lord, could this be the place for us. I don't know why I am not more sad about leaving Northwest Hills, but I am just relieved more than anything. I feel almost giddy and happy.

God thank you for surrounding me with your presence. Maybe it will be like dad's death where I didn't really break down until about six weeks later. That might be when it gets really hard. As it is now, we have made a clean break. We went one week, and we are not going the next.

Emancipation

Well, we did it! We have officially left our church of 28 years. I went to see Ginny and Lorraine today, and Ginny looked at me at the lunch table and said, "You look like you have been emancipated!"

The thought of starting all over somewhere is the most wonderful thing. I will live a life of self-reflection as I move forward in faith and see God open up doors.

Maintaining Peace

I had something happen yesterday that was annoying to me. It was also hurtful, but nothing is going to shatter that peace. I have an immovable rock in our God. In the midst of the discouraging thing, two Mormon missionaries came to my door, and I was able to share with them the wonderful plan of Jesus Christ . . .period. Nothing added to it in the belief in a prophet like Joseph Smith. I was able to share with them my journey, and it was awesome. Praise God.

In the Well-Watered Soul department, I am wondering when the best time is to start the Romans study. I am waiting on setting up a plan with Kim and am looking forward to spending one-on-one time with her.

In the Well-Educated Mind department, I am loving my reading of The Kite Runner. I hope to finish that today.

So, I am off to a free day!

Perfect Peace

There is a Ginny Owens song "Let the Silence Speak" that I have been listening to lately. It typifies so beautifully where I am right now. One of the lines says:

"I will lead you to a place of perfect peace"

It speaks of God's calling us by name and waiting and leading. I have found this niche lately that has settled my soul into being still before Him and sensing the perfect peace of His presence. There isn't much filling up my space lately. So, I have had so much time to be still. In that He has been pleading for my heart, and He has it. In the silence speaking, it really has done what she says in her song:

Let is move you
Let it draw you into Me
Let it free you
Let it heal you
Let it speak

I don't say this to boast, but I say it to praise the God in whose presence I "live and move and have my being."

My brains are securely in my head and not at the door

Hee Hee. I just read another blog of a dear friend who believes that evangelicals have been sold a bill of goods about the miracles in the Bible. I love her to pieces, but I came to a different conclusion. I was just at the coast on Wednesday night. I sat there in such perfect peace and confidence in my God. He is real and He is relational. He is there; and yes, He speaks to me. Everyday.

Oh, I love her though, and there is power in love. :)

Loving Limbo Land

Had a major breakthrough in all areas. It is huge. I don't mind limboland at all. Life is an adventure. I am living life in "day-tight compartments," and it ain't so bad.

Thankful to be out of the fog!

Limbo Land

I am in Limbo Land since that last post. Thinking that the separation would be easy, it has become very hard and painful for me and my partner. SHOOT!

I want to escape, but I don't think I am to leave this ministry.

Abiding Fruitfulness

These are the women that I have talked on and off about all year. What an extremely challenging and "out of comfort zone" experience for me. It was out of my comfort zone but not out of my gifting. We each developed Personal Mission Statements and shared our dreams for the future. It was a fabulous time.
Now, I am getting floods of emails with each of these women sharing their excitement as they put feet to their vision and are flying.
- K (far left in the back) has a vision for "bringing love and hope for healing change for hurting people" and is starting a "Changes that Heal" group for women who have suffered with knowing that God really loves them. She is passionate for wholeness.
- K (back second from right) has a vision for "creating a nurturing and inclusive community for women of young children" and is starting a children's retail/resale clothing store in hopes it will become a place for young moms to gather and find support in this isolating time of life. She wants to have big couches and a safe place for the kids to play while there moms chat or listen to people speak on topics that pertain to their life stage. She and
- L(from left) are going to a retail space downtown today to check it out. L is a "put feet to ideas" sort of person and it helping K in the implementing of her dreams since her passion is "fostering healthy, mutually supportive communities where each woman can grow toward wholeness in Christ." In addition, L is wanting to get women together this summer to talk about what they are meditating and journaling about in Scripture.
- J (second from left in back) is going to start breast health workshops through churches in my town. She is starting with our group! She is an RN with a passion for "empowering women to be aware of their own breast health." The old way of breast self-examination is out, and she is on a mission to educate every woman that moves about the best and most effective means of self examination.
- N (second from left in front) has just started that coffee shop, and she has a vision for "presenting an authentic life empowered by her loving God" in the context of her new JJCoffee Shop and in her neighborhood near the shop.
- MA (back row, fourth from left). She has a passion for "teaching God's truth to young children in a loving, safe, and fun environment." She has been our four year old teacher for years, and this class affirmed her in her life long mission. She loves what she does, does it well, and has fun doing it! She wants to start mentoring younger women in her passion and may mentor D after she gets out of grad school!
- D (third from left in front) has a passion for "teaching children from all walks of life through loving and caring for them," no matter what their background. She loves the troublemakers and really wants to reach out in love to the whole family unit. She is getting her masters this following year and will be discipled by . . .
- R (fourth from left in front) who has a passion for "encouraging women toward growth and contentment in God's plan through shepherding, acts of hospitality and mercy. She hosts a monthly prayer time with young marrieds. She also meets to encourage women who are struggling with infertility since she took many years to get pregnant. (She is due in November!). I will have the privilege of shepherding her next year as she disciples D.
- M (third from right in front) has a passion for "brefriending, encouraging, and connecting women as they grow in their walk with Jesus Christ." She might be helping in recruiting for the next year's Women Becoming class that will start in Fall of 2007. She will be helping refine and develop the curriculum for the next class and when it starts will be the "right hand woman" of the woman who teaches the classes (either me or my partner).
- T (fifth from left or right in front) She has a passion for "authentically loving others in witness of being followers of Christ." She is twenty-eight years of maturity and dynamite, but she has no idea of where she will go next year. She works with her Young Singles class at church and would love to see discipleship in their class. She is still praying about career options for next year. If she sticks around, I would love to invest in her.
- D (Far right) She is a sweet servant and intercessor. She is praying through her neighborhood with K (they live a block away) and has a passion for "loving God, reconciling others to Him, sharing His word, praying, and demonstrating kindness" in her neighborhood and at her kids' school. She also might be teaming up with K for some things too. I am also teaming her up with a mentor soon.
- C (third from left in back) She is a brain, higly intellectual, and has a passion for "preparing women to give considered account of their beliefs: theologically, historically, and personally." She may teach a basic doctrine class for women next year but often has a hard time putting feet to her ideas. I think my partner will be helping her since she is very good at that!
- My infamous partner, M (sixth from left in front). She has apassion for "taking life in Jesus Christ to the Women of the Nations." She will be going to Brazil with our college pastor to add a "women's dimension" and will be taking another trip to India. She will also be helping with a once a month follow-up course with our pastor for the women in this class and men in his class who are interested in continuing in leadership development.
- Me (the tallest one). My vision is to "shepherd women toward abiding fruitfulness in Christ through relational evangelizing, establishing, equipping, and encouraging." And this picture speaks of how I have put feet to a part of my passion!
That is what I have been thinking about and doing lately!

Flying?

I am in the mood for new colors and new fonts and new sizes of the letters. I want to spread my wings and fly and be out of the box that I have been putting myself in over the last few months.

I had to admit that I didn't respect someone yesterday. I feel like I have hid behind this all year. The issues are the issues, and I need to face them head-on.

Oh my, help me to fly, Lord. Please help me to fly.

Too Long - It has been almost two months

I don't know how everyone keeps up on these things. I usually journal a ton in my writing journal. Not sure why I don't here. I don't think anyone reads this. So, I guess it doesn't matter that I am not journaling anyway. It is my place to go to when I want to go.

School has gone so well. We are almost at the end of the school year and our five year cycle of World History. We started this journey when Michael was in Second Grade by going through the whole span of history in one big year. WOW! It was a whirlwind, and I thought that I would love to go at a slower pace and really relish it all.

Then, Kimberly gave me the manuscript to The Story of the World Volume I - Ancient Times. Back in October of 2001. It was so great. Here is is 2006, and I have about fifty more years of World History to go. What a satisfying things to go through the whole span of history and find how much I have learned with my kids.

I hate it when I get these stupid anonymous posts on this BLOG from people who are concerned about the "socialization" of my children. My kids are getting plenty of socialization AND they are getting a very good history education. History is so important for teaching values and such. It is so great. I wouldn't trade these years for anything, and I really don't believe my kids are losing anything in the process. They are only gaining.

So, I think I am raising little environmentalist (more conservationist), civil rights activist, pro-women, anti-war, anti-nuclear weapons, pro-life, pro-Native American men. Paul asked me today the difference between Republican and Democrats, and then he asked me what I was. I have to say I better switch back to Independent. I really think that this more accurately reflects where I really am. I think independently rather than being in the hip-pocket of any one political party. I am pro-Jesus. How abut the pro-Jesus party?

My reading of late has been A Prayer for Owen Meany, Atonement, The Land of Sheltered Promise, and The Road from Coorain. Owen Meany was sort of bizarre. Lots of bad language, but the concept was so unusual. I gave it a 7 at book club, not because I liked the language though. Atonement was really good. It had a bit of bad language though, but the writing was excellent. I was surprised to see such style in a modern day popular writer. The Road from Coorain was a fascinating look at a woman who was raised in the Australian Outback with a mother who experiences loss and drifts into control of her children. It was very good. Really enjoyed learning about another part of the world. The Land of Sheltered Promise has been sort of a syrupy Christian fiction novel, but it is holding a special place in my heart because it is reminding me about my time with Young Life at Malibu Beyond. It also has a composite couple names Gail and Isaac Barlett that are based on Gwen and Iral Barrett. Gwen was the woman who rescued me out of the depths when I had a breakdown half my life ago. I has been special to read and reflect upon that dark time of my life.

TrapdoorSociety continues to be a good place for me to be. I went to Baton Rouge, LA with sixteen other women from Indiana, Minnesota, North Carolina, South Carolina, Maryland, Pennsylvania, California, Washington, Texas, Illinois, Ohio, Georgia, Florida, and Louisianna. It was really good. I loved the time with these precious women, and I pretty much got one-on-one time with every single one. Some longer and more in-depth that others. It was special. It was very special. We talked and laughed and analyzed till we were blue in the face. I loved every minute of it.

I have three more weeks of Women Becoming, and it has been a very good year. There are three more weeks to go; and as I reflect, I am very grateful for the opportunity that I have had to be a part of it. I am thankful that Martha asked me to be a part. It has been hard at some points working with her, but I have really learned to develop a thicker skin, and I am also learning much through the pruning. I am still trying to figure out what my role will be in the whole process of this though. Still praying and waiting for a miracle answer to my dilemma, but I am so grateful for this year and the women that God has allowed me to become involved with.

Well, it is 11:30 p.m. I didn't realize it was so late. It has been a much better day today than yesterday. I am praying for a solution to this dilemma.

"My Day"

The last couple of days, we have been learning about The Great Depression and The New Deal. That has led us into a mini-character study of Eleanor Roosevelt.



WOW! I love that woman and wouldn't mind reading some other things on her life from some adult books. We read Eleanor with story and pictures by Barbara Cooney. They were beautiful illustrations. This dealt more with her early life. The other one was a simple "Step into Reading" book called Eleanor Everywhere: The Life of Eleanor Roosevelt. One thing that struck me was that she wrote a daily newspaper column called "My Day." In it, she worte about the things she saw while traveling around the country. She wrote about what was going on in the White House.

I had JUST been saying to myself that I should write about my day in a Easter letter for our friends (I prayed through our Christmas letters this morning. So, it made me think of this.) So, it was funny to see that Eleanor Roosevelt had the same idea. I also thought that that is what I am doing on this blog. I am just talking about "My Day." For me, it is nothing profound, but I like it.

One thing that I noticed about all the letters we read were all the sports and activities that people talk about in their letters. Their kids are busy. George and I were joking about how our letter would read. It isn't nearly exciting, but we LOVE our time together. Our kids are happy and enjoy school, enjoy their little group of friends, enjoy God and church, enjoy their tennis and swimming (Michael) and walks with mom (Paul) and hikes with Dad. Nothing very exciting about "My Day," but I feel like we are doing just what God has for us to do everyday. Nothing too overly busy or exciting, just life and love of four people and their friends and family.

So, about Eleanor. I guess I didn't realize the SHE was the one that more closely related to Teddy Roosevelt. FDR was a distant cousin of Eleanor. Thus, why they had the same last name! I didn't realize when I read the book Eleanor yesterday that her "Uncle Ted" that she so enjoyed visiting as a child was THE Teddy Roosevelt. She was her direct uncle. So, that was something new.

I just loved her care for the poor and less advantaged. She had a sad (albeit wealthy) life, but she gave back and overcame her sadness and her fears to make something so significant of her life. That was so inspiring. Paul said, "I can hear your crying voice, Mom!" Yes, I was crying toward the end of her life. A life well-lived is always a sentimental inspiration for me.

Right now, we are listening to Emily's Runaway Imagination. It was another one of those books that I had to convince them to listen to. I thought they would jump at it with it being a Beverly Cleary book, but they were biting. All it took was the first chapter on CD, and they were begging for me. I love this story of a girl in Yamhill County, OREGON in the 1920's. She is trying to start a library in Pitchfork (fictitious town), Oregon. So, fun! We are on chapter four right now.

We are stopping at the New Deal. We have set the stage for World War II by looking at the rise of Fascism in Italy, Naziism in Germany, Hirohito in Japan, and Russian Communism in China. We will take a break until the spring from the march of history. In the meantime, we are going to try to read some novels and biographies. I think George will read about Eric Liddel to the boys at night. I did a bit of his life from the Hero Tales II book by Dave and Neta Jackson. I love those vignettes they have of Christian heroes. I had thought of selling these books, but I might save them for any grandchildren that I might have.

Personally, I am also learning about the Holocaust and the rise of Israel through the autobiography of Elie Wiesel. It is called All Rivers Run to the Sea. I am about half way through and will be discussing it with Nikki in late March.

Well, the chapter is almost through, and we still have to finish our science for today.

The rest of today is really FREE. I am thankful!

Looks like
Homeschool
Wash sheets
Call Mom and maybe Jennifer Hellberg? Nikki?
Reading
Listen to Basic Theology
Bible Reading and meditation/prayer
Do Holy Spirit Bible Study
Prayer walk
Dinner Prep - What was it that I said we would have for Sabbath?
Olympics! (Work on "Inner Life" stuff for next year's Women Becoming while I am watching)

Saturday
NO BOOK CLUBS or OBLIGATIONS
1 p.m. Lunch with Teala downtown
6:30 p.m. Dessert with Greg and Ava (new neighbors)
I might bake some bread for our two new neighbors too.

Now what was I going to say

I came here intent on something profound to say, and I can't remember what it is. I am hopeless at remembering things lately.

Oh well. :)

Carol

Singing the Praises of Brainpop

I know that I have mentioned www.brainpop.com on this blog before, but we sat and watched about five movies today after we studied about genetics in our Usborne Science Encyclopedia. I can't tell you what a great augment it has been to my homeschooling and my own self-education. It is worth every penny of the $70 yearly subscription fee. Today we watched movies about genes, genetic mutation, DNA, diabetes, hair, skin, nails. After each quiz there is a ten questions quiz that reinforces what we just learned. At that point, you can print the quiz out and put it in your kids' notebooks OR you can have the results of your quiz sent to you email so that you can have an electronic record of their progress. So slick!

The movie selection is enormous. In addition to science movies, there are movies on every part of history. We also watch the technology movies. The other day we watched one on the MP3 player. Haven't you always wondered what they REALLY are?

There are also some excellent movies on puberty and thing like your period. They are very tastefully done.

The only drawback is they have an evoluationary bent. This isn't uncommon in any secular science curriculum and can easily be discussed with your kids.

Great site!

Carol

I read my book, visited with Nancy and dropped off her stuff, ran with George. I also spent another hour on my Jesus study. So, I just need to clean and do some more Bible study.

I haven't overeaten either! I am trying so hard to stay in my eating!!! So, George made some Valentine's Sugar Cookies, and I am resisting since I had some boysenberry sorbet after dinner. (Dinner was heart-shaped pizza).

Maybe I will get up early and clean instead of tonight!

Learning and Growing

Learned about the ear and balance today and watched two or three brainpop movies.

Learned about Ghandi's push for peaceful independence. Inspiring man.

Reviewed multiplying factions and double digit division with zero placeholders. I always need a good reminder in these areas.

I kept to my goals yesterday. I miss my FACED accountability, but the interest had wained so much for so many. It was time to leave. I am being accountable to Cheryl in South Dakota. I have about eight that keep creaping back on me. I am convinced this is water weight because I haven't changed my diet.

I will run today. Here is when I plan to do things:

12 - 1:00 p.m. Finish up homeschool and run for 30 minutes, 20 minutes of strength and flex.
1:00 - 2:00 p.m. Read All Rivers Run to the Sea
2:00 - 3:00 p.m. Jesus Bible Study and Bible Reading
3:00 - 4:00 p.m. Deliver things to Nancy (or whenever car gets back from swimming)
4:00 - 5:30 p.m. Clean and cooking prep.

After dinner, maybe Valentine's Day Celebration. Maybe I should go to get a heart shaped pizza? That might be very fun.

Carol

Learning in Homeschool

Today we learned about the eyes, and I had the boys label a diagram of the eye. I love learning right along with them. We watched two brainpop movies on eyes and vision. I love brainpop!

We also read about Cam Townsend who started Wycliffe Bible Translators. I love history!

I am also finishing up my God and the Trinity Bible Study for tonight. I am so glad that I delegated the copying of the homework to Lisa since she is already in the office these days. YEAH! My Mondays were often eaten up by copying that someone else can do besides me. Many hands make light work.

I am off to walk for 45 minutes, do some strength and flexibility and also I am determined to read a bit this afternoon.

Better go then because it is already 1:45! So this is the rest of the day:

1:45-2:00 Eat lunch
2:00-2:45 Walk
2:45-3:15 Strength
3:15-3:45 Bible study
3:45-4:15 Read All Rivers Run to the Sea
4:15-5:15 Dinner preparation and cleaning
5:15-6:15 Dinner and get ready for tonight
6:15-9:30 Women Becoming
9:30-11:30 Debrief with George and watch the Olympics!

This is the next ten hours in a nutshell!

Ready. GO!

Carol

Took a rest that watered my soul

I needed it. After the January 30 meeting of Women Becoming, I took a five day rest from all things related to it. I also shut down FACED email loop and Tia ended Grace Shade Tree website but not the loop. I took a well-earned rest from all that I had been doing in January, went to the doctor to see about my insomnia (she thinks it is related to menopausal symptoms), ran or walked everyday, and slow-down. Lovely. Just what the doctor ordered.

I am out of the prison that I chose to walk back into by please people. So, I said lots of NO's that week, and I am still alive. Now, my biggest challenge will be saying no to the person who badgers me most of all. She has been otherwise occupied, and she really hasn't badgered me for quite some time, but I am afraid that this summer will be another repeat of last summer, and I can't take that again. :(

So, I need to pray. Ginny and Lorraine are praying too.

Sunday morning is quiet. Paul is sick. So, I stayed behind to be with him and will go to second service when Michael can come back and be with Paul. My Lord and my family are such rocks and refuges for me.

Musings on a rainy day

Well, the morning was devoid of rain, and I had a great walk. Now, the rain has come, and I am still OK. I am listening to Ginny Owen. I don't know what it is about that woman, but she always speaks to my heart. She is a person who was formally in bondage, and I know that is where I used to be. Set free from the bondage of people's approval.

I feel like I have been set free, but sometimes I walk back in through the open doors without realizing it. I think I have inched closer to the door this month. People disapproving of how I do "me," and that is so hard for me. I had to set a boundary this morning. Had to say no when I had purposed before the Lord to set the next five days apart for rest and refreshment. I was challenged before the morning was out. I said "no," but I am in sitting in the prison room, my old familiar room that I used to inhabit. The door is open, but I am just sitting here looking at the comfortable walls. They whisper at me, "Well, you do have the day off. Your field trip was canceled. So, what would it matter if you had to spend this afternoon calling women to recruit them to serve communion on Sunday?"

Yet, I do know what it has done to say NO in the past. I like life outside the prison. The sky is so BIG outside those walls. I put a ceiling on God when I go back to that prison. I don't feel God leading me to call a bunch of women this afternoon. I hear Him calling me to worship and rest. I am doing the business of communion.

The fact that I haven't read ONE book this month should be an indication that I have been doing too much.

Lord, I felt so condemned by Shawn yesterday. So, not heard. So, not encouraged. BUT yet, you invite me to come and dine with YOU.

I hear you calling. I am off to read that book that my neighbor wrote:



How appropriate for a THIS day.

One day later. I am on a roll!

I read a quote in my journal this week that hit me:

"Every evening before bed, write the story of your day.
And make it interesting. Never tell a boring story."

Sr. Jose Hobday

I think I will use this blog more as a story of my day.

Like that.

Carol

P.S. Found a picture of this Sister on the web, but I can't figure out how to post it. Here is the URL:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/63902551@N00/18763424

Last time it was five, and this time it is only one

The pressure is on because people have this Blog address. I have had it for so long (this is my second one), but I never have given the address to anyone.

I have also been journaling like mad in my cursive writing journal. I like the process of writing "by hand" as opposed to typing on my computer.

Well, I had done a whole long post, and it didn't post! UGE. So, I am doing this again.

Homeschooling

Getting done in three hours lately. They are just into focusing and getting it over. Loving the process of learning with these guys. Learned about where the term Oklahoma Sooners came from (People who hid in the bushes and got into Oklahome before the land rush in the 1880's).

We are almost done with history. It has taken us five years, and I laugh when I think we did it in one year when Michael was in 2nd grade.

I am glad we didn't go to pre-Algebra. I like this review year for Michael. It was a good decision.

Reading is Winnie the Pooh for Paul and Hank for Michael.

They are writing more. They are even enjoying this Greek/Latin Vocabulary book I got. I am so excited about that. Grammar always goes fast and easy.

Science is the human body, and it is in my field of expertise (Nutrition required lots of physiology and I always smoked in those courses in college). So, I am enjoying the science journey this year. I especially enjoy our subscription to www.brainpop.com . Very good investment of $70 for the year of subscription.

Well-Educated Mind

I have not been diligent. Need to get on track with the Autobiographies. They help me to relax. I need to know this. I am reading All Rivers Run to the Sea by Elie Weisel. I was glad to see that Oprah's pick was also one of his books. That is providential, and I need to jump on it. Miss the interaction.

Discussing Madame Bovary with the Book Dames on Saturday at Susan's. I am looking forward to that.

Discussed Da Vinci Code with Book Babes, and I gave it a zero on principle. That man is going to have to answer to God for his "fiction." He is leading many people astray. I liked his writing, but I didn't like where he went with it.

Well-Watered Soul

Time with God has been sweet. I have revived my journaling after a break. I filled up a huge journal in three months. So much to process with the Lord these days with my class. I am glad to learn more of how to have a 24/7 dependence in prayer and presence. I thinking I am getting it. God told me something significant in October, and I keep going back to it. "Carol, I don't allow people to hurt you. I allow you to see in their character and life so that you can pray for them." I have had so many opportunities to apply this and not be so sensitive, especially with someone in this class with a razer sharp tongue and clueless about it hurtfulness. She is sad. I feel for her. I can pray for her and not be hurt by her. It is revolutionary. I am not good at blowing people off because of my sensitive heart.

Family

Sweet Michael turned fourteen yesterday, and we went out to Elmer's to celebrate. It was such a joy to sit across from these young men and lean on my man's shoulder. Life is good with these three. I can never take these moments for granted. I treasure them every day. They are the best thing about my life, and I am aware that they are all three a gift.

One month later, I return to my blog

Someone said that they check this regularly, and I haven't even updated it for a month.

I journal so much in cursive in my journal book that it seems redundant to journal here, but the pressure is one to keep up with the others that are now into Blogging. I started this such a long time ago. This is my second blog. My other one just wasn't there one day. This one has lasted longer.

Well, let's update:

Homeschooling

We have just gotten into being very efficient. We get everything done in about three hours now. (Not including their time with read alouds at night) I love their focus and their determination. It is fun to homeschool them. I love that 7th grade math is all review if you decide not to skip to pre-algebra. :)

I also am looking forward to being through the entire span of history for the second time. To think that we did ALL history in one year when Michael was in second grade, and it has taken five years to get through it all this time! Of course, this time has been more detailed.

I am sure they will like to get back to ancient history or we may take a year and do church history. I don't know yet.

Science is a breeze since it is the human body and in my field of study from college. I just didn't enjoy Physics stuff last year. Too impersonal.

Well-Educated Mind

Sniff, sniff. With all my busyness of this Women Becoming class, my passions have collided. I miss reading and reflecting with Nikki. I must carve out the time regardless because it is one of the things that really does relax me! I am reading All Rivers Run to the Sea by Elie Weisel (I can't turn the italic off, oh well!)

Book Clubs

Sniff, sniff. We had our last time at Burton's Restaurant. This family-owned business shut down on Sunday. It was sentimental for me as we discussed the Da Vinci Code. By the way, I thought DVC was well-written; but, on principle, I gave it a zero. I don't like the way he portrays Catholics. I don't like the false things he proposes (even though he hides behind it and says it is fiction. I think he has lots of explaining to do to God.

Well-watered Soul

Well, time with Jesus is usually so very good. I have been journaling a ton, and I especially liked journaling prior to the conference. I prayed for each woman in there. I haven't had any Bible Study to do in the last couple of months because of a break in Women Becoming, and I am ready to dig into these doctrinal studies and study a BOOK too!

I am just very convinced that as God has stretched me this year, He has really taught me more of a "Brother Lawrence" like existence. This is part of my pray of 25 years ago, to have a minute-by-minute experience of His presence in the daily grind of life and ministry. I think "Be anxious for nothing" is more and more real in my life. Praise God.

Ministry

Well, we had our Women Becoming Conference, and it was a HUGE success. I am very proud of the women in this group. Some did not contribute very much, but that is the nature of the job descriptions. Learned so much about leading. I have really grown in my capacity for people and handling their issues without letting myself getting "caught in the fray." Good things. I am also seeing the need to always ask for prayer when I need it.

Well, someone may be happy that I posted. I don't know if anyone will even read this, but I am done for the night.

Five Months Later . . .She returns to her blog!

I haven't blogged in five months and one day. I started this so long ago. I almost forgot that I had it.

We had a fabulous Christmas. I didn't need to "do" anything to fend off the "low" feeling that I often feel during this time. This was HUGE. I think going on my first Advent Silent Retreat really helped me focus, and I had a direction for the season that was just lovely and peaceful.

Not that it is ever busy. I have this aversion to overcommercialized and busy Christmastimes. I usually have all my shopping and wrapping done by December 1. This year, I waited until after my Advent Retreat and took a few minutes here and there to wrap the last gifts. I usually do TO much ahead of time and I am bored. Then, the LOW comes.

So, I felt directed to declutter, and I did. I deculttered my closets and went through the downstairs with the boys in order to organize and declutter their play area. Now, all I have left is the guest room closet (which doubles as a craft closet). It really looks pretty good down there, but I know that the boys' craft draw in that closet is in need of some decluttering. After that, maybe the boys' Lego drawers, but they really aren't too bad.

I just purposed to do it a little bit at a time. I am so "addicted to closure" that I overdo things to get to the finish. So, I took little breaks to declutter from which I took little breaks to read from which I took little breaks to cuddle kids from which I took little breaks to talk to friends from which I took little breaks to clean. It was a nice calm flow from one little bit to another.

I have also scrapbooked during this time, but I wasn't feeling led to it. So, I didn't do it! I decided INSTEAD to read through all those books that people have given me to read that I either

1) Felt obligated to accept and read
2) Wanted to read but knew that I really didn't have time with my other readings


So the week before Christmas and this week have been this, and I have loved it. I had eight borrowed books, and I have gotten through six of them. I have done it "slowly" and enjoyed the process immensely. Some were forgettable. Not too impressed, but they weren't bad. The ones that have impressed me amazingly were

Whose Land, Whose Promise about Palestinian/Israeli conflict
Blood Brothers by Elias Chacour

Both are excellent! Wished I had read them sooner.

I only have two more to go now: Scapegoat by Du Marnier and Affliction by Francis Shaeffer.

Trying not to be too addicted and enjoy the experience.

Blah, blah, blah. This is fun, but in anything, I don't want to become so involved with this Blog that I don't enjoy the life I live. I learned this on the Silent Retreat too! I also don't want to lose the art of writing in a physical journal. :)

We went to the welcome of our new worship pastor tonight at church, and I "clicked" with the wife. I like her. She is a homeschooling mom of three children. Their oldest is going into seventh grade. The youngest is five years old.

I am in a good place with NWHills right now. I want to be an encouragement. I am finding that now that I have left the people-pleasing behind, it is so much easier to be myself. It is a good feeling.

On The Well-Educated Mind front, I finished White Noise rhetoric questions today. Now, I am starting Possession. Then, I will be ALL done. A major BHAG accomplished! I am so happy :)

The kids had a fun day at church and playing with John after until 7 p.m. Then, we brought John back to the Smith Welcome, and they had a great time in the back forty. Mom stayed at home.

I am off to bed. Nothing profound to say, just part of my day.

Summer stuff

Hard to believe it has been almost two months since I blogged anything. So, I am going to blog a bit here and say what we have been up to.

We are loving our summer. Today, we pick my mother up from the airport.

The best news is that I finished the novels for the Well-Educated Mind. I still need to do questions for the last two books, but I feel very finished. It was an amazing journey, and I am very grateful for Nikki. She is just as determined as I am, and this has been so good!

I also finished my training for Interactive Metronome after four years! Michael has finally been trained, and I am happy to be done. Two BHAGS in one month is exciting.

Off to the airport!

SCHOOL'S OUT OR SUMMER!

Evaluation and Musings of a Free Homeschooling Mom!

We just took our last spelling test today! My oldest had two more pages and the test, but I told him he could skip the pages and go straight to the test. For a "follow the rules" kind of guy, it was a big step for him to LOOSEN UP and do it, but he did. We finished at 10:30! WOOHOOO!

Here is the Year's Summary!

Prayer
American Indian Prayer Guide was a hit-out-of-the ballpark kind of experience for us. We loved learning about their history and were saddened by the white man's treatment of our most precious national resource! It was eye-opening and a pleasure to pray for these tribes who have been so mistreated. No wonder many reject Christianity when the Christians were so stinky. (Sonlight Press)

Next Year: I was going to do Windows on the World, but I found a book through the Presidential Prayer team called Kids Who Pray for the USA (ISBN:1-4003-0296X). It helps them pray for the USA and its leaders with stickers and a banner and postcards. They also learn history along with it. Looks HOT! May do Windows after we finish this if there is time.

Bible
We started out loving the John: Study the Bible 4 Yourself by Kay Arthur, but it began to BOG DOWN. Three books just for one book of the bible was a little TOO detailed for kids, IMHO! We got to John 13 and decided to pick Chapters 14-21 up next year. Suprisingly, my great idea to include The Gospel of John DVD got boring for them too. I thought since they were making a movie with the Kay Arthur study it would be good to "see" a movie with a word-for-word translation. It bombed!

After Easter, we just read through The Ladybird Storybook Bible. This is our second time through, but they just loved this colorfully illustrated bible.

Next year: We will TRY to finish up John and read through Egermeier's or Hurlbut's again.

History
It worked to combine Story of the World: Volume 3 AND the Sonlight History Read Alouds from US History 3. It was much more US history than World, but that is OK. We used the Mapquest maps too. Also,

We have one more week of history!

This school year is winding down for us. We went down to CA, and I took advantage of our trip through the Sacramento Valley to teach about the CA Gold Rush. So, I skipped ahead to the 1850's. Now, I am backtracking, and we just learned about the "Ladies of Lowell" in American Adventure. These were the ladies who left their farms for a couple of years to work in the textile mills of Mass. in order to save money for a dawry. (sp?) We will learn about the Spanish-American War and The Alamo and Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad. I might do a bit of Civil War studies before the 4th of July or wait to go to the reenactments next year after we have studied it. Who knows.

Michael only has two more days of Grammar. Paul has fifteen days of Math, but Michael has a bit more. So, we will probably do twice as much on the remaining days of school. It should be fine. He has really turned a corner in Math lately. Helps so much that I switched it to the beginning of seat work!

Michael will also be starting a cyberschool where he will create a software game. We just got it in the mail, but I have to wait for George to do it.

In my education, I am reading a book on Leadership Emergence Theory and The Invisible Man.

Off to bed to rest my cold and read!

April Bring Lewis and Clark Studies to a Close

We just finished The Captain's Dog for a fictional account of a dog's perspective on the Lewis and Clark Expedition. It was fun, and I supplemented it with other books that gave us pictures and such.

The next read-aloud will be Imprisoned in the Golden City. I have liked many of these Trailblazer books. Some have been duds, but I hear this one is very good. So, I am looking forward to it.

We are very close to finishing out our history for the year. There have been MANY read-alouds. I am a little burned out. I will have to pick and choose them next year and not try to keep up with all of them on the Sonlight list. There really are too many for us to keep up!

Paul finished grammar, and Michael only has ten more pages. We have about 30 days of math left too. I am not worried about spelling because I am finding dictation to be a better to teach spelling to them anyway. I can bag the formal stuff for Michael next year, and I might do the same with Paul.

Not a very exciting BLOG. I am too lazy to put pictures on them. Actually, I forget how to do it.

I am off to read George Orwell's 1984.

Bye,
Carol

Mid-March Madness

Spring has come early to our town. The flowers are blooming!

Here is a homeschool update:
History - We are studying Lewis and Clark. The Sonlight book by Neuberger was BORING! So, we bagged, and we are just reading The Captain's Dog. I haven't been as impressed with the Sonlight Read Alouds this year! We hope to take the train to Astoria and visit the sights of the L&C Expedition. Good hands-on learning.

Science - We finished up our reading in Usborne Science Encyclopedia. Now, we are doing two chapters in Abeka Science. We finished the chapter on light and just started energy and engines today. After this, it is ALL experiments and write-ups until the end of the year!!!!!

Bible - We finished the first Kay Arthur book for kids, and they really got bogged down. For the second, we are doing most of it verbally. I want to finish John, but I may do it over two years instead of one year. We have also resumed our character studies in history and just finished David Zeisberger

Math - Praise to Bob Jones Math. I love it, and the kids like it too. Mathphopic Michael is gaining comfidence! It is very encouraging to me. Paul will be done soon. He has less than one hundred pages. I forgot that I am very good at math, but I just never liked it. It is nice to see as an ADULT that math is so important. It makes teaching it more fun for me. As a kid, I didn't know how vital it was to life.

Grammar - Paul figured out he only has fourteen days of Grammar, and he wanted to do it all yesterday! A closure boy after my own heart! Michael is a few pages behind him because math usually takes so much longer for him.

Writing - Hallelujah! We have found dictation that has worked for us. We started with www.bravewriter.com The Arrow Subcription. House at Pooh Corner saved us! Humor won out for dictation. I will slip in humorous passages from their favorite books. It is good. Thanks Julie! We practice cursive, grammar, and also spelling in the dictation. Like this.

We are also doing more freewrites, and I will start more science writing. This is our slow-moving skill, but it is moving. I am glad it is not tested on the tests. I can take this slowly and carefully.

Spelling - We have slowed down on Spectrum because we are incorporating it into our dictation. I may two years to go through Michael's book, but there is not one behind it! So, we are good.

Read Alouds - We are reading The Captain's Dog. It is OK so far. I just read Island of the Blue Dolphins. George just read Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH. They loved that one.

Plays - Puss and Boots was a big hit. LBCC always does a wonderful job.

Spanish - We finished up the second term and will not be doing it in the spring because we are going to California.

Swimming - Michael is one arm stroke stroke in the backstroke from Level 8 in swimming! We will continue after we return from California.

BOOKit - We were real good about doing our Pizza Hut Rewards with the Kinkades. In fact, we are going today to redeem our February Coupon.

Field Trip - Went to the Science Factory in Eugene. My kids liked it. Christopher was bored.

Boy's Group - Always a highlight of their week!

Dial-A-Book - Going well. Now that we are not doing Spanish, it will be easier to do it.

For my WEM:Read the Trial and reading Native Son.

Fantastic February

I am summing up February since I didn't get much opportunity to BLOG in the last month or two.

History
Read about the American Constitution using wonderful books like If You Were There When They Signed the Constitution, A More Perfect Union: The Story of the Constitution (Maestro). We also included America Rock DVD about "The Preamble." It was a lovely month of easy history. We also learned all about George Washington using the wonderfully illustrated D'Aulaire book! We also learned about the beginning of the industrial revolution by learning abou the invention of the cotton gin by Eli Whitney. Our "tall tall" was about Johnny Appleseed.

Read Aloud
I decided that some of the Sonlight RA's were just too boring. So, I skipped a few this month. George tried to get through Carry on Mr. Bowditch with the boys, and they bagged it after 18 out of 24 chapters, and we are fine with that. Too boring. They had faired better with Justin Morgan Had a Horse. It is the story of the beginning of Morgan horses in the US.

For fun, we listened to Bunnicula and went to a play in Salem on the book with the Alexanders and the Kinkades.

Plays
We went to Bunnicula (Salem) and Miss Nelson is Missing (with the Cowdens and Pearce Alexander in Newport). Fun to be on the "play circuit" again.

Field Trips
We went to the Science Factory in Eugene with the Kinkades and the Schaefers. My kids managed to keep themselves pretty occupied for three and half hours.

Writing
Finally dictation is working for us! The KEY: find a book they REALLY like and dictate from that. I found it in The House at Pooh Corner! It has opened up all sorts of doors. I think Hank the Cowdog books will be the dictation of choice! I have incorporated spelling and cursive handwriting practice into the whole thing too!

Spelling
They are still doing a bit of Spectrum Spelling; but if they worked on their spelling for dictation, we skip it! It is so easy to teach spealling in the context of writing. I never wanted to try it before because they both hated writing so much. Maybe they are just ready now.

Math
Hallelujah! I honestly think Michael has turned a corner, and things are clicking so much more easily. Actually, concepts have never been too hard, but his computation was always so behind that. Now, he is computing at a faster rate. Of course, Paul has always done well. Paul just finished multi-digit multiplication and is now in metric measurement. Michael just finished multiplication of fractions and is on to ratio, percentage, and proportion. I love Bob Jones Math!

Science
Almost done with our Usborne Physics section. We are currently studying color. I will be done with the reading portion of the book. Then, we will do experiments the rest of the year with the Wizard kits and the 101 Physics experiments.

Bible
Well this has bogged down, and the boys have said they don't like it. I could have sworn they liked it when we started. I think it is a bit too detailed for kids though. We are on John Chapter 9, and I will just go through half of John this year and the other half next year. No sense in beating their heads with it. It will come in time.

Boys Group
On a positive note, the boys group bible study with the Alexander boys and John Pearson has been a huge success. George handles all of it, and they meet every other Wednesday. They discuss Proverbs and have been working on a multi-scene play. They did some star-gazing last week. Love this.

Reading
Paul continues to read Barenstein Bear books, and Michael reads a chapter of Hank the Cowdog every day. We also buddy read in history.

Physical Education
Love the fact that Michael can swim, and Paul and I have one-on-one time together while he does it. We have been walking, and this has been lovely. I love to just talk with that guy! Michael's teacher pointed out to me that he has a perfect breast stroke. He is doing laps of freestyle, backstroke, and breaststroke. He is more than halfway through Level Seven now.

Spanish
Love my Wednesday afternoons of peace, quiet, exercise, and relaxation. George takes them, and they are speaking more and more Spanish daily. Like this Mr. Campbell as the teacher.

Dial-A-Book
Beverly retired, and I am sad. I hope the new coordinator is as nice as Beverly has been to us. We are enjoying this, and it has become second nature to the boys. I want service to be like this for them for their whole life.

Grammar
Easy Grammar is just that: EASY! I don't even have to think about it.

Greek-Latin Roots
I am just doing those 108 roots, and I decided to make up my own cards from copying the book. It is too complicated to have them make the cards up even though it reinforces the learning, it just makes it more of a hassle and battle. I want to get through them like flash cards after we finish Easy Grammar in April.

So, that sums up my February. I have things that I am learning.

The Well-Educated Mind
I finished questions for The Great Gatsby, House of Mirth, and Mrs. Dalloway. I am reading The Trial and hope to finish it today. Nikki and I are stuck at House of Mirth because her questions are not transferring.

I read The Bounty for book club, and we George and I watched The Bounty with Mel Gibson, Anthony Hopkins, Daniel Day-Lewis, and Liam Niesson. I watched Mutiny on the Bounty with Marlon Brando with the book babes. Interesting to learn about this because it is the period of history that I am studying with my boys.

Bible Study
I have been meditating deeply in James 3 and studying through the "teens" in Acts. I had opportunity to apply James 3 in the context of the Acts study. It was very good but scary.

Well, I am off to rest the rest of the afternoon. I love my life. LOVE it!

February Fifties Party

George and I went to a fifties dinner at Suburban Christian!  What fun! I went to the local beauty college and they did an updo and makeup (including false eyelashes!) for only 10 dollars!

Spring Is Bursting Out all Over!

I am cruising!

Finally! I got a picture to post! :)


I love this journey. My kids are happily stripping their beds. I am sitting here happy that I finished the The Heart of Darkness questions, and I am fast approaching finishing The Red Badge of Courage questions. I hope to get alot of reading on the plane and at mom's.

We just finished studying Ben Franklin and are going to studying about late 1700's pioneer life. We are going back to Dynamics and Motion in Physics. Math is moving to measurement, and swimming starts today.

Must exercise today before it slips away from me. So many goals. So little time.

Back in the Saddle Again

We started up the year yesterday, and it has been painless. We read a great book called How Ben Franklin Stole the Lightening that is gorgeously illustrated! We are reading a more boring biography in the Abeka series, but it still gives more details about his early life.

Paul is doing multiplication and Michael is doing adding and subtracting of fractions, and it hasn't been too bad. Patience is high. Love is strong. We are flying

On my own Well-Educated Mind Quest, I am reading Heart of Darkness and doing the questions for The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and Red Badge of Courage. Maybe I should post my answers from here on out. That would be fun. I am also reading My Own Two Feet, a autobiography of Beverly Cleary that is light. I needed light after heavy books like Portrait of a Lady, Red Badge of Courage, and the current Heart of Darkness!!!!! Michelle asked me to start another book club and NOT read classics, and I said I couldn't handle another book club unless it would dovetail with what I am already doing with the classics. I love meeting with other women though. It sharpens me!

I wish I knew how to post pictures to this blog. :(. I will have to read up.


Paul is in the Performance Hall of his last song on Piano Discovery. If he finishes "Heart and Soul," he will have earned the right to buy his own Nintendo.

2004

This was a very good year for me. Everything was great in "real life." Online, I tried but failed to negotiate some peacemaking between people, but rumor has it that they "patched it up" later on. It left me pretty devastated beause I feel like I lost two friends in trying to help out. I also got spoken to harshly by a couple of people on line (one person more than once), and I am thinking about not being a moderator anymore. I had never had any problems until I became a moderator. So, this is what I am hoping for in the future. I don't now how Tia will respond to that, but this is what I want. I am much better at "coming alongside" another person rather than being a "moderator." So, this is what I am thinking right now. I do think it is one person in particular who continually is at the center of the conflict. It just happened to be that I was the target a couple of times this year, and now I know how the other people feel in their position. It is not fun, and I know my only role is to pray about it now because I want my concentration to be in real life. She is out of my "sphere of influence."

The Christmas holidays were absolutely perfect, and I didn't let that one person online ruin my Christmas, and she didn't. I didn't have the holiday blues, and I had lovely times with my real life friends going to movies, eating out, watching football, scrapbooking, and talking on the phone. I loved this 2004 Christmas so much.

December

Well, it has been so long since I posted! I got so discouraged with the last one that I just gave up posting.

We ended 2004 well. The kids figured out they could have longer in Christmas vacation if they just went for the Math! They did, and we were done by December 13th!

Since then, I have been having fun with reading WEM novels. I finished Portrait of a Lady and Huckleberry Finn. This is SOOO fun and rewarding. I am loving this, and Nikki is such a great partner to have. Most people have a hard time when I get goal-oriented and feel all flustered and overwhelmed. Nikki is just as determined and goal-oriented as I am, and I really like that about her. We are very similar in personality type, but I am more extroverted.

Well, I better go. I am going to see Spanglish in fifteen minutes with Teala. My kids are at the Gilardi's playing and swimming this afternoon, and I am going to go play with my girlfriend!

WOOOOOHOOOOOO!

I love my life. Love my life. Love my life!