Monday Freewrite

It is a Monday afternoon, again, the sun is shining through the side window. I decided to commit myself to an hour of writing because I could not sit very long this morning. I had been experiencing pain on my left side at the waist. It had it on the right on Friday/Saturday, but it came back on the other side today. I figured it was something deeper in my spine. So, Dr. M had a cancellation within 30 minutes of me calling them first thing this morning. Yep, I was all out of whack in my pelvis. So, I did not write. Then I needed to rest and not sit to have my pelvis set. So, I feel great this afternoon so I set myself up to write Week 33 of my 34 Week manual on the Exercises. So close. But I go to write, and my heart is distracted by the sweetness of this final contemplation. I find myself in the presence of God, and I cannot go back. So I am writing it here to document it once again. What is it about these Exercises that hit me so deeply? (I think it just gets to the whole heart of the matter of this walk of faith: God's loving presence in every nook and cranny of our lives is available to all as long as we stop and see him there.)  The first section of this last Exercises is contemplating the gifts of God in the created world; "the wonder of vast plains and mountains and the tiny wild flower." Running along stars and planets, etc. It goes on. It is really quite beautiful. I suppose a part of me just does not want to be done with all of this writing on this good stuff. I have 19 more days of the Exercises. Yes, this is the last contemplation, but the final two weeks will be pondering action and savoring the graces of the whole retreat since September. I have loved this so much. It will open up time for other things, but I love the time that I have spent with this retreat. 

So, I am going to go back (not a fifteen minute freewrite, but I am ready.)

Blessing upon blessing . . . . 

(234) First Point

This is to recall to mind the blessings of creation and redemption, and the special favors I have received.

I will ponder with great affection how much God our Lord has done for me, and how much He has given me of what He possesses, and finally, how much, as far as He can, the same Lord desires to give Himself to me according to His divine decrees.

Then I will reflect upon myself, and consider, according to all reason and justice, what I ought to offer the Divine Majesty, that is, all I possess and myself with it. Thus, as one would do who is moved by great feeling, I will make this offering of myself:

Take, Lord, and Receive

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou hast given all to me. To Thee, O Lord, I return it. All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me Thy love and Thy grace, for this is sufficient for me.^[2]