Prayer Review of Tuesday-Thursday

What made me feel most alive and in tune with God's plan:

• Teaching Pilates to eager 20-somethings
• Working in a positive university environment with lovely coworkers
• Renovaré Institute readings 
• The LORD's Prayer meditation
• Updating my syllabi and making them be up to the PAC Template (submitting to my authority was hard at first but yielded peaceful fruit in the end)
• Praying around the Campus with John and George
• Praying with Katherine through neighborhoods and have Kent run into us and say, "Oh, are you prayer walking?"
• Walking in the rain through my "Entering Gates" of the East Campus of OSU singing my song and loving the fall in Corvallis
• Poldark - Bella Poldark is the last novel out of 12. LOVE THIS SERIES! Why did you have to die Winston Graham?
• Alexa Worship Music - I really like this feature! I never thought I would enjoy this new device like I have.
• Discussing life with young moms in my living room 
• Knowing speaking to groups is a "sweet spot" for my gifts, talents, personality, and abilities.
• Feeling is pleasure as I moved my body in Pilates - passing on the passion of Pilates to young people
• Freedom from hip pain after my classes
• Finding subs for my October 11 classes
• Sweet text from my friend who just moved
• Eating healthy one of those days
• Ice cream and chocolate on Thursday because is was sort of stressful.
• Ease of renewing my NASM-CPT certification
• Renovaré Justine and doing the Book Club - so looking forward to these LIFE GIVING books (and one of them last year made me start doing this exercise)

What made me feel most dead and not in tune with God's plan:

• Saying, "No" to another person (story of my life) - yes this is a "rinse and repeat" from my Monday life-deadening statement. Only this is another person asking another "little thing" of me, and I want to SCREAM! It is so very stressful for me to stay, "No" to people. I am just at full capacity, and this is probably THE busiest week of my entire year. It is also a busy year because I have CPR - CPT - Power Pilates Certifications all due in the Fall. I guess the "little" request was also so "out there," and the person knows how busy I am. I have got to get better at saying no graciously. 
• Having a person complain about how I did something when they are just not putting any effort into reading directions.
• Expectation that I am going to make things happen when people have enthusiastic ideas - your idea - your execution.
• Opposite experience filing my recertification for Power Pilates versus the above NASM-CPT. NASM took TWO MINUTES. Power Pilates took about four hours because they required PDF of all my certification that I got THROUGH THEM and they sent to me. SO, why don't they just have them on file like NASM does? Made NO SENSE, and now I know I have to keep a PDF copy of everything to upload. Next time will be easier, but I did get really frustrated and ordered that chocolate when Michael went to get more milk
• The Confederate Flag controversy at our university and some unexpected aftermath when I voiced I was going to pray it comes down.
• Michael not being able to be an Uber driver because his car is too old. 
• People taking but not offering to give even halfway
• Feeling alone when I am tired
• Feeling like a failure - I am believing a false narrative, and I want to get to the bottom of that. Honestly have not felt this way in so long. 
• Culture shock back to working with a new population of people
• George might lose his job
• George having major pressure at work
• Extra time required to get things up and running at work (not necessarily out of God plan though)
• Being stressed when I needed to rest
• Seeing Michael struggle to find a job in his field

Ways to show my love for God and others today:

Love on my friends as we prepare food for tomorrow.

Gifts God has given not already covered in feeling alive:

A spouse I can talk to anytime
Low stress children
Seeing Paul thrive in graphic design

Prayerful Review of Monday

I have not done a prayerful review in quite some time. Maybe months. So, I am going to try to do them during this busy time. 

What made me feel most alive and in tune with God's plan:

• Getting my teeth cleaned. Resting in the chair. Taking care of myself. 
• Not overeating
• Prayer walking with Katherine
• Reading Poldark
• Drinking Chai in the morning
• Meditating on the Lord's Prayer after a negative encounter
• Walking - just the simple experience of putting one foot in front of the others
• Listening to My Music on Alexa: Classical, Celtic
• Having down time between 12:45-4:45
• Walking to my OSU meeting and hearing the diversity gathering
• The aliveness and hope of the OSU campus
• Watching people dance and seeing they have skill for the first time

What made me feel most dead and not in tune with God's plan:

• Guarded, annoyed reaction from a person
• Saying, "No" to another person (story of my life)
• Finding the volunteer schedule for Friday is different from how I was first told
• Still a bit of pain in my right hip area
• Traffic

Ways to show my love for God and others today:

The leadership team for IMG. Welcome them to my peaceful, open, and loving home. 

Gifts God has given not already covered in feeling alive:

My boys who left the kitchen extra clean after George gave them encouragement to do so

Laughter of two brothers who get along so well

Rain to put out fires

Lost in Meditation Gregorian Chants on Alexa

That was good! Now off to prayer.

Monday Freewrite Fifteen

I am not sure why I have not done very many freewrites over the last few months. They are usually pretty cathartic for me, and I am always happy to write. 

So, I am going to try to do more. I have been pretty busy. I have written a lot, but it has been more privately and not on a blog. So, just changed focus for a while.

It was a full summer. I worked hard. I rewrote/organized the manual for our Kingdom Community to fit our needs. That was the biggest thing I did. I also took the Weight Loss Specialist course to recertify for my personal training. I also did the four Pilates classes that I needed to recertify for that too. I just finished up my last credit for both of those by doing a CPR/AED and First Aid class with OSU. So, I am totally caught up and just need to enter it all online before October 31 for one and December 18 for the other. 

I start teaching classes on Wednesday, and it will be so good to force myself to do Pilates four times a week! I didn't do so well doing it that many times on my own, and I only did it 1-2 times a week. I can totally feel it in my core! I was great on cardio (mostly walking and hiking) and stretched almost every single morning. Also, I got a good resistance training program down for the summer, but I didn't keep up with all my core work like usual, and it all caught up with me a couple of weeks ago. OUCH! My QL muscle wigged out on me again. Too much walking always makes my QL wig out if I am not also doing Pilates with it. Lesson learned. I must find a teaching gig for the summer where I can do subbing. That will at least keep me up on it. 

Oh well. I also go a lot of reading done for my Renovaré Institute course. I love it so far, and I will be going to my residency in a little less than three weeks. I am so happy. I also am almost done with the entire Poldark series. I have about 500 more pages to go.

We also started up our ministry again, and we have seven people that are just precious. I also do three trainings in the next 11 days. Lots on my plates right now, but it is so good for me to be doing all I do out of overflow. 

That is the key. OVERFLOW. I would not have the power without the overflow of His power flowing through me. I know that it is useless to do things on my own power or self-effort. 

I have one more meeting until my classes start. Hoping that I can manage all that I have on my plate. God is good all the time. 

I know this is very stream-of-consciousness kind of stuff. But I write for an audience of ONE. :) 

I have four more minutes. Oh yes, lay offs at George's work. Will is happen AGAIN like it did in 2008!? Stay tuned. It would mean he would be back here with me. :) I wouldn't mind that one bit. I suppose we will find out soon. No fear when the Lord is near. 

What else should I say. The Vietnam War by Ken Burns in one this week. I fell asleep but will watch it right now during my rest time. (Along with finishing my last Poldark novel.) 

Well, I think the timer is going to go off. So enjoy that I can write. 

Oh yes, I am "festooning" on the Lord's prayer:

My wonderful Father who is behind me and before me and inhabits my space, nearby and close to my heart.

Kept holy is your wonderful name. Treasured in my heart. Honored in my thoughts. On the tip of my tongue. 

Your Kingdom rule come and your will be done on this earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day all that we need, no more and no less. 

Forgive me of anything that I may do that does not honor and please you. Help me to forgive others too.

Protect us from temptations of this world, the flesh, and the devil. Get us out of any scrapes we may get in with him.  Keep us from any bad thing.

For my heart is under the rule of Your eternal Kingdom. You hold all the power. You get all the glory now and forever.

AMEN! 

55. The Twisted Sword (Poldark #11) by Winston Graham

I am almost done with this LONG saga. This was SO good! I am going to miss this series, but I am trying to finish them before I have to get back to teaching in 10 days!

54. The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard

I know. You have seen this book SEVERAL times on this blog. And yes, I already read it one time this year. Last time, I listened to it. This time, I read it more than listened to it, and I took COPIOUS notes since it is part of the Renovaré Institute fall reading schedule. The pages are printing, and I cut and pasted 37 pages of notes from the book. I am insane, but I really love this book, and it grows on me each time I read it.

Dallas had me at "HELLO" when I read this book for the first time in 2009. I thought things were obvious, but the more I read it, the more I realize these things are not obvious to most believers, and I think he articulates things so well.  It is part of our ministry curriculum every year, and most people LOVE this book. 

It is interesting to read it after listening to his talks on Kingdom at the Hollywood Presbyterian Church in 1990. That teaching series was the genesis of this book. 

Abundant life is what it is all about. Life in the KINGDOM is so fun and exciting and wonderful. I believe with all my heart that Jesus was the smartest man who every walked this earth, and apprenticing myself to Him is what life is all about!

Willard suggests that one soak in and meditate on many Scripture passages, and the Renovaré Institute has already included two of those passages in the "praxis" (a fancy word for practice) portion of their curriculum. In August, I soaked deeply in Colossians 3:1-17. So YUMMY! September's Praxis Exercise is the Lord's Prayer. These are two passages I already had on my summer "Curriculum for Christlikeness" (something he suggests we do in order to be intentional about apprenticing to Jesus) already! 

Highly recommend this book. 

Fifteen Minute Freewrite

I have not written a freewrite in what seems like months. Possibly skipped the whole summer long. I am not sure why that is, but I had a wonderful and full summer. I think this is the first one in a while where I did not enter it in any state of physical exhaustion. I felt like last year held a lot of balance for me, and it continued into the summer. I also decided not to have any little cohorts other than my Kingdom Community meeting about five or six time, missional community four times, and one Cooking and Conversation Club. 

I also FINALLY reordered and wrote parts of a new Kingdom Community Training Workbook. It was a labor of love, but I loved every minute of that enterprise. I think I spent over 150 hours editing it. That was my big project for late July. 

I read a LOT of Poldark too. But I also started my reading for the Renovaré Institute Seattle Cohort. I spent mornings out on my deck reading and writing notes for most of July. Somehow, August got busier even though we were supposed to go to the Middle East, but our Visas got denied. But I had to renew my Pilates and Personal Training Certifications, and  As I also loved my recertification training. I got a Weight Loss Specialist Certification and Pilates is always fun and easy for me. I just had to get over my fear of taking a test!

Of course I has my M.A.S.S. (Morning Affirmations, Scripture, and Stretching) and went on many walks. At the beginning of the summer, I went on all the bus routes (except the HP one) and prayed over the city. That was fun! I also memorized Colossians 3:1-17 in August. 

I met with many women, went camping (caught 21 fish among all 11 of us), and hosted 11 people for the Solar Eclipse. Overall, it was a lovely summer, and I must remember that I really have 2 1/2 more weeks until school starts, but I must get my CPR/AED and attend many meetings. I think that means no 40th high school reunion, but that is OK. I have too much on my plate, and I don't have anyone "really hoping I will come." The two people I really want to see will not be there. I like them all, but it is OK to miss it this time. I will go to Santa Barbara in October for Renovaré Institute, and that will be enough money to shell out for a trip down south. 

I have loved everything about this summer, and it has really been free of any drama.

Oh my, there you go with the 15 minutes. That went very quickly!

I

My Money is on Texas - Beautiful

52. The Miller's Dance by Winston Graham

Great in every way!

53. The Loving Cup (Poldark Series #10)

I am so amazed at how this saga continues to enthrall me and surprise me! There were a couple of shockers her that made me gasp out loud in the quiet library where I was reading! Great series!

51. Life in the Trinity by Fairbairn

I do like this book. It is readable theology. I liked his take on looking at what the early church fathers wrote, and it helped that I had read Athanasius' On the Incarnation earlier in the year for the Renovaré Book Club. This book is for the Renovaré Institute. (Thank you Justine for helping me learn how to make the l'accent aigu!)

He talks of the "Scarlet Thread" throughout Scripture. I didn't know it was commonly embraced in evangelical circles today. If you follow my other blog: www.3yearbiblebookclub.blogspot.com, you know I am all about the "Scarlet Thread."

I was reading his book while in a row boat fishing at Clear Lake. My friend, Gladwin, grabbed the book and thought it very readable. He is a big theology person. I could be, but I don't want to be. I just want to love God. But this book is a good introduction to theology that emphasizes the relational aspect.

50. The Stranger from the Sea by Winston Graham

I just had to include this cover of the book because my library has the original hardback version of the the book published in 1981. It amazes me that he wrote the twelve books in the series between 1945 - 2002 with a 20 year hiatus between books 4 & 5!

This is book 8/12. Love this cover! :) Love the storyline with more concentration on the next generation of Poldarks/Warleggan, especially Jeremy. 

48-49 The Four Swans and The Angry Tide

The plot thickens. At the end of the Angry Tide, that is the end of the series from the 70's. So, I wasn't super surprised at its ending, but from here on out, the Poldark saga will be new material. (Except there was a movie that we saw with the next generation of Poldarks, but I don't really remember much about it.) The Four Swans had something very different from the old TV version, and it will be interesting to see how the new series handles it! 
Again, the writing is excellent. My husband and I both intersected on the same novel over our anniversary weekend so I read him the story on the way to the coast and back with our own copies to read in between. We walked about 12 miles on Saturday around Newport, but we managed to get many pages of reading in while we were there.

Quote that hit me in light of unrest all over the world today:

"All atrocities are duly punished - or at least avenged. One never knows who begins them - only that they set off a train of consequences that never end."

Ross Poldark in The Angry Tide by Winston Graham

47. Face to Face: Praying the Scriptures for Intimate Worship

I am so behind in my reviews. I always forget to add this little gem into my reading every year. It is a lovely little prayer book with Scripture for each day of a three month cycle. I have use it regularly so go through the whole thing at least once a year. :) I just found it on Kindle this last round. Now I don't have to take my book with me on my walks anymore! 

46. The Black Moon by Winston Graham

The writing is still superb! I wish I would have read this much sooner. It has been delightful to read it over the summer months. My husband is reading them at the same time. So it has been so fun to discuss them! 

45. Warleggan by Winston Graham

He is a more modern day author (even though he has passed away), but he captivates me like an Austen or a Dickens. Some people were just born to write. I don't want to give anything away. I suggest the whole series. 

44. The Good and Beautiful God by James Bryan Smith

I really loved this book. It is simply about falling in love with God. Each chapter deals with a characteristic of God and the false narratives that we believe about Him and what is true through the life of Jesus. I loved the soul-training exercises at the end. If someone says "Meh" about it (as I read one review), I wonder more about that person than the book. I think this would be especially good for someone with a poor concept of God based on their parental picture. 

43. Jeremy Poldark by Winston Graham

I continue to be so impressed by this author. He rates pretty high up there in my book. I get totally lost in his stories!

The new television adaptation follows the books much more closely than the 70's version. 

It is interesting to hear that Caroline is the one who is tall with red hair in the books! So different from both television versions. 

42. Soul Keeping: Caring for the Most Important Part of You by John Ortberg

I have read two other John Ortberg books (well three, if you count Living in Christ's Presence which is a transcript of a conference he did with Dallas Willard), and I always enjoy them. He has a very casual and easy writing style. This is a foundational book if one wants to understand the care of the soul. It is also very sweet because it is somewhat of an ode to his mentor, Dallas Willard. It chronicles their relationship over the years until Dallas' death in 2013. 

We often joke that John Ortberg is "Dallas for Dummies" as sometimes Dallas is difficult for people to understand. (But so worth the investment of time to get to understanding.)  Much of this book is a simpler version of book #41 on my 2017 reading list, The Renovation of the Heart. I adored that book, and I adore this book as well. They are both worth an investment of time with this book perhaps being a good place to start as it is more accessible. I also highly recommend, The Good and Beautiful God which I am currently reading and EATING UP! YUM! YUM!



The book starts out with an analogy that is explained in this YouTube video:



The stream is your soul. And you are the keeper. 

Then it goes on to talk about care of the soul. So rich.

“A very simple way to guard your soul is to ask yourself, “Will this situation block my soul’s connection to God?” As I begin living this question I find how little power the world has over my soul. What if I don’t get a promotion, or my boss doesn’t like me, or I have financial problems, or I have a bad hair day? Yes, these may cause disappointment, but do they have any power over my soul? Can they nudge my soul from its center, which is the very heart of God? When you think about it that way, you realize that external circumstances cannot keep you from being with God. If anything, they draw you closer to him.”  

“Our problem is that this world does not teach us to pay attention to what matters. We circulate résumés that chronicle what we have accomplished, not who we have become. The advertisements we watch, the conversations we hold, the criteria by which we are judged, and the entertainment we consume all inflame our desire to change our situation, while God waits to redeem our souls.”

“Whether with an entire day, or periods of time set aside every day, your soul needs rest. Not a change of scenery or a spiritual retreat — those are fine and may contribute to rest. But to remain healthy, our souls need solitude with no agenda, no distractions, no noise. If someone asks you what you did in your “time apart,” the correct response should be, “Nothing.” Doing nothing does wonders for the soul.” 

“Your soul is what integrates, what connects, what binds together your will, then your mind (those thoughts, feelings, and desires going on all the time), and then your body (with all of its appetites, habits, and behavior). God designed us so that our choices, our thoughts and desires, and our behavior would be in perfect harmony with each other and would be powered by an unbroken connection with God, in perfect harmony with him and with all of his creation. That is a well-ordered soul.”

“When we reach out to God, we are lifting our souls up to be nurtured and healed. A soul centered in God always knows it has a heavenly Father who will hold its pain, its fear, its anxiety. This is spiritual life: to place the soul each moment in the presence and care of God. “My soul cleaves to you, your right hand upholds me.” It is much harder than it sounds to keep our souls centered on God. We hold on tightly, but often to the wrong things. But staying centered on God — his word, his ways — is the essence of life for the soul.”

41. Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard

 

This might just be my favorite book by Dallas Willard. I suppose Living in Christ's Presence is really my favorite, but that is a transcript from a conference, and they made a book out of it. So it is a little different.

This is The Divine Conspiracy with feet on it. It is about spiritual transformation. It is lovely in every way, and I highly recommend it.

I listened to the audiobook, and it is a treat because it is actually Dallas Willard reading the book in his peaceful and calm voice.

40. Demelza: A Novel of Cornwal,l 1788-1790 (The Poldark Saga #2)

I wanted to listen to the audiobook of this so I waited and waited while I had it on hold. That meant almost a three month break between books. I wish I had just started to read the hardcopy that my husband had picked up for me back in April. 

Still waiting for the audiobook, I finally started reading that hard copy (yes, he kept renewing the checkout) last weekend, and I could not put it down! THEN, my audiobook came in while I was about 1/4 of the way through, and I finished it quickly. Needless to say, I am NOT going to wait for the audiobook of the third book (they did not have it so I had a purchase request that they fulfilled, but there were two people in front of me) and go pick up the hard copy that is waiting at the library.

The story is so compelling. Graham is a superb writer. This narration was not as good as the first one which was narrated by a man. This one was by a woman, and I just did not like how she portrayed Ross Poldark's voice. But many of the other voices were quite good. 

Here is my first review for background of the whole series:

 http://carolhomeschool2.blogspot.com/2017/04/12-ross-poldark-by-winston-graham.html

And here is a link to my review of the gorgeous photo book of Cornwall that makes the whole series come alive:

http://carolhomeschool2.blogspot.com/2017/05/24-poldarks-cornwall-by-winston-graham.html

IndepenDANCE Day Freewrite 2017

Yes, I know how to spell Independence, but I misspelled it in my journal today, and God whispered that "Independence makes you DANCE!" :) 

I feel a little freer this morning after some pointed conversation with God. Stemming from 2 Chronicles 15:17 in Face to Face: Praying the Scriptures for Intimate Worship 

"May I remove the places of idolatry from my life,

and like King Asa, let my heart be fully committed (blameless)

to You all my days." 

I sensed that "still, small voice" say, "Your #1 place of idolatry is people." 

Yes, people, their inclusion and somewhat their approval. Dallas Willard quoted George Mueller (Dallas and George are both literary mentors for me) in the book I am reading. I learned this quote in the early 80's, and it used to be on my wall:

"There was a day when I died:

- Died to George Mueller: to his tastes, his opinions, his preferences and his will

- Died to the world - its approval or censure.

- Died to the approval or blame even of my brethren and friends.

Since then I have studied only to show myself

approved unto God."

(from George Mueller: Man of Faith, Warren Myers, Singapore)

For me, it is inclusion in the activities of my friends. Also, I admitted that I wanted vindication of a nasty rumor spread about me eleven years ago. I was vindicated, and the person was discredited, but no one came back to me to apologize for believing that person's vicious lies about me. So, that is idolatry. I want approval from them. God said I don't need it. 

God led me to "Whom have I in heaven but Thee . . . You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:25). I know people don't mean to be this way, but God has this plan.

He led me to telling me some pretty awesome things about a precious gift He has, and we must wait (leading me into Psalm 37 and resting in Him and waiting patiently for Him, not fretting because of others).

You said I must keep on going deeper with Him and never stop. Others do stop. He told me to be an aroma to those who are perishing and those who have stopped growing and do not know this full, abundant, abiding life (that I have only tasted a glimpse of but am pressing in every farther on it)! It means feeling excluded from good things, but it isn't the BEST thing for me. 

Idolatry of people. Yep, that is it.

Then . . . 

"There is no one (including YOU, Carol) who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for My sake who will not receive a hundred times as much in this present age - houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields, along with persecutions, and in the age to come, eternal life." (Matthew 19:29; Mark 10:29-30)

"Let goods and kindred go

This mortal life also"

IndepenDANCE Day Baby! Go ahead and DANCE!

39. The Global Refugee Crisis: How Should We Respond?

A fascinating pro/con look at the refugee crisis with the transcript of the debate and pre-debate interviews of the four participants. I learned quite a bit. They poll the audience before and after and the difference is quite substantial with one side winning the audience over with their argument. They certainly helped me decide!

38. It's Not OK: Turning Heartbreak Into Happily Never After

I am embarrassed to say that I even read this book! It certainly was not one I would ever buy or even put on hold for that matter.

I was at the library last Sunday, and I already had a pile of books on Iran (going there this summer), Farsi language CDs, a book on the Appalachian trail, numerous Iranian films, and a book about introverts in church. This book was on display at the end of one of the library shelves, and I threw it in the pile.

Since I have worked with women who have come out of abusive relationships, I wanted to get inside this woman's head.

This franchise has always intrigued me. So, I thought an inside perspective would help me understand why anyone would want to do a show like that.

I came away thinking: she is a very shallow, immature person. If she wanted to make her ex-fiancé look bad, she did that; but she made herself look even worse. I feel so sorry for her. She is not very self-reflective and takes no personal responsibility for anything. I feel like she is a little girl lost with very little integrity as a person. (Who splits the seam while trying on pants in a department store and does not tell the store and offer to pay? Who has "revenge" sex months after breaking up with her ex-fiancé and is proud of it? YUK!) The reviews I have read were pretty aghast at her behavior also.

She was afraid of losing her dignity by doing these shows, and I think she has. But hey, she is making  more money now doing pretty frivolous things than she did being a lawyer who put away gang members in Atlanta. It is so sad she has sold out to all of this.

Getting inside this woman's head made me realize she needs a good therapist and a reality check.

Her ex-fiancé does end up looking very bad. There is no question in my mind that, if her allegations are true, he is a typical narcissistic personality type and verbally abusive and quite shallow (I have seen him on TV, and I could have told you that within two seconds). But she is pretty shallow herself. It is pretty disgusting how she describes men in such a sexual way.

One more thing: her gratuitous use of the "F" word is very off-putting.

Not impressed.

I think it is funny that I would read this book after reading Saint Athanasius and The Great Omission by Dallas Willard and concurrent with listening to a Dallas Willard book called Renovation of the Heart. In many ways it was a modern day example of a non-renovated heart!

I do hope she finds God someday. That is when the true fun begins!

My foray into popular culture has now ended, and I will go back to my regularly scheduled book reading.

Reviews:

"Did she really just write that? OMG, she totally just wrote that....Downright shocking." (USA Today)

"[Dorfman's] delivering plenty of surprising (and some disturbing) details." (Cosmopolitan)

37. The Great Omission by Dallas Willard

This book is part of the Renovaré Institute curriculum. So I thought I would read/listen to it before the school started. This is a compilation of articles and talks that Dallas Willard gave over many years about Jesus' final commandment to "make disciples of all the nations." I liked it!

36. Motivation Manifesto: 9 Declarations to Claim Your Personal Power by Burchard

I must have clicked on this guy from an ad on Facebook, and it linked to this six minute video:

In this video, he talks about six things behind motivation (that are fleshed out in p. 57-66 of the book):

SPARKING MOTIVATION
1. Ambition - the choice to be, have, do, or experience something greater in our lives. By deeply contemplating higher aims, we energize ourselves to pursue them.

2. Expectancy - a choice to believe that our dreams are possible and that we can achieve them. Desire without belief in self is ultimately deflating.

SUSTAINING MOTIVATION
3. Focus (Attention) - Giving our ambitions consistent mental attention keeps the drive alive, our energies swirling win anticipation. Don't let the distractions of the day steal mental focus. Real downfall: distraction. We mustn't let our dreams die in the daylight because we lose focus while responding to the world's lame interests or false emergencies. We mustn't take our eyes off of our goal.

4. Effort - Choice to continue on no matter what. (My note: The science of motivation say that if you START a project you are more likely to finish it since you started it already, and it nags at you.)

AMPLIFYING MOTIVATION
5. Attitude - Free and motivated people are positive and enthusiastic about their goals and their lives. Motivation never kindles anyone's soul to it brightest burn unless he or she is open-minded and fired with an enthusiasm for life. An open and positive disposition toward the world can attract people, bring joy into our experience, and channel the highest energies of the universe.

6. Environment - "Hang with people who grow or give" (from the video). Surround ourselves by people who are sane and positive. Few things amplify our long-term motivation more than a positive social environment. Distance ourselves from those with bad attitudes, for their energy is contagious and corrupting.  Also be disciplined in shaping our physical environment. Our workspaces should inspire us.

So, the video peaked my interest to order the free book. I am about halfway through his free video series, and I like it.

Before I had even read the book (it took me a few months to get around to reading it), the notes from the video were in my workspace, and the quote, "Hang with people who give and grow" really helped clarify why I was so down after being with some people from my past back in May. They are not people who give and grow, and they have never been that way with me. They have mostly taken, and, for the most part, they have not grown in the many years I have known them. I moved on many years ago, and I am SO GLAD! :)

Here is the free book: https://goo.gl/voI20L (I don't get anything for giving you this link)

Declarations 1-3 were really significant for me, and I underlined a lot. I got a bit bored with Declaration 4-8. They are good declarations, but they were more obvious to me being a follower of Jesus. The book ended strongly for me with Declaration 9 as I am taking everything in for "two beats longer," and it has been great! 

Here are those Declarations:

1. MEET LIFE WITH FULL PRESENCE AND POWER
2. RECLAIM YOUR AGENDA
3. DEFEAT YOUR DEMONS
4. ADVANCE WITH ABANDON
5. PRACTIVE JOY AND GRATITUDE
6. DO NOT BREAK INTEGRITY
7. AMPLIFY LOVE
8. INSPIRE GREATNESS
9. SLOW TIME

The most significant one for me was "Reclaim your Agenda" as I had a group sort of steal my agenda from me. I had not read this part of the book yet, but the week prior, I dropped out of leadership after only two weeks when I realized that my agenda was being hijacked by the group, and I feel like my agenda is the one God gave me. So this book really confirmed it for me. I am a recovering people-pleaser, and I have to be really careful to not let people control me. I have learned the "power of no."

I am not in charge or responsible for the wrecks others have created in their lives

and I do not need to save everyone in my life."

That is the conclusion that I came to with this group when I realized all the conflict that would take forever to unravel.

I have often allowed other people to cage my spirit and stifle my potential. A term the author calls "social oppression" (p. 14). I also liked the things he said about fear.

 I liked many things he said, and I would recommend this book, especially for those who struggle in these areas!

35. Living Your Strengths by Winseman, Clifton, and Liesveld

This is the Clifton StrengthsFinder for churches. It was helpful, but I hear the regular Clifton StrengthsFinder book gives you test results that are more detailed.

I had purchased this in 2012 because a woman who is an expert on this was coming to the Shalom Prayer Center to teach a four week class. I was so excited and willing to drive up to Mt. Angel four Tuesday nights in a row to learn (since Learner is my #1 Signature Theme). Alas, I was the only one who signed up for the class so it was canceled. This book was required for the class, and my library did not have it. I had already shelled out the money and bought it at the higher price in the Shalom Prayer Center Bookstore. Drat. Hardcover, new, and not at a discount. Then the class was canceled! A year later, my ministry team purchased the StrengthsFinder 2.0 book for everyone on the team. So, my husband was given the book. I wish I had retaken the test and used the more detailed test, but I didn't want to be greedy and have them buy me my own books since I had already taken the test, and my husband was already getting one for free.

This was good. I liked the descriptions. The chapter "Using Your Talents for Growth and Service" had some pretty silly ideas for developing the strengths in the church, but the book overall was useful. I especially liked that many of my strengths complement my husband's. That doesn't surprise me, but it was nice to have it "officially" confirmed.

My Signature Themes are (drumroll please):




Learner - You have a great desire to learn, and you want to continually improve. In particular, the process of learning rather than outcome excites you.

Empathy - You sense the feelings of other people by imagining yourself in others' lives or others' situations.

Achiever - You have a great deal of stamina and work hard. You take great satisfaction from being busy and productive (me: not from being busy but definitely productive).

Connectedness - You have faith in the links between all things. You believer there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.

Relator - You enjoy close relationships with others. You find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends to achieve a goal.

 I guess if I had bought the other book, it would have shown me more themes, but I can tell from reading the book that other strengths behind that top 5 are:


Focus - You can take a direction, follow through, and make the corrections necessary to stay on track. You prioritize, then act.

Context - You enjoy thinking about the past. You understand the present by researching its history.

Self-Assurance - You feel confident in your ability to manage your own life.  You possess an inner compass that gives you confidence that your decisions are right.

Developer - You recognize and cultivate the potential in others. You spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.

"If you want to build a ship,

don't drum up people together to collect wood

and don't assign them tasks and work,

but rather teach them to long

for the endless immensity of the sea."

ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPERY

34. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty by Thurber

It is short and sweet and gets inside the head of someone who escapes in his thoughts. I am not one to do that, but I hear other people are, and it fascinates me! Interesting story.

33. Know Why You Believe by Paul E. Little

I downloaded this in April as a Free Book of the Month from Christianaudio.com. (Great company, by the way, and they have their big half-yearly sale going on right now with 7.49 for most books. I am not paid to say that either!) I am waiting for some audiobook holds from the library, and it is a short book. I think I read this in college. I am not a big apologetics person, but I love how this book is chock-full of Scripture. Lloyd James is a very pleasant narrator too. This will give you the basics of Christianity. The nurse during my acupuncture appointment said she has the whole set of his books, but she has never read them. I think I inspired her!

32. The Making of a Leader by J. Robert Clinton

This is my third time reading through this book as I discuss it with a woman I have been meeting with for several years. I really love it, and reading through it this time, I realize how much of the principles in the book are so deeply ingrained in me that I forgot that I learned them from this book. I think I read it back in the 90s. It is probably my favorite book on leadership development. I use his "time lines" when I take people through the SHAPE process (Spiritual Gifts, Heart Passions, Abilities, Personality, and Experiences), as it is very helpful for people to see patterns and life stages of their own development. I highly recommend this book.

31. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

I had never read anything by an African author so this was very educational. I found it was very slow in parts, but I think that was because of the narrator more than anything else. So, I put it up to 1.25 speed, and it went much better for me! 

I thought it was much more interesting once I got to the part about the missionaries coming and being super culturally insensitive to the people and their customs and way of life. When Western imperialism was added, it became a very interesting conclusion to the story because things fell apart! 

This is usually on lists of classic books to read. So I am glad that I read it for with my Book Dames group. I will add more once we discuss it in mid-July. 

30. The Pearl That Broke Its Shell by Nadia Hashimi

Words cannot expressed how much I loved this book. The writing is very engaging, and it is hard to believe that this book is the first novel by this author.

This story is about a woman in the modern day, and her great-great grandmother in the early 1900's. It is about women, and the things they go through in this patriarchal culture.

I have dear friends from Afghanistan. I hope they can read, and we can discuss it!

I am so surprised that librarything.com predicted with "high confidence" that I probably would not like this book. This could not be farther than the truth.

Here is a really interesting radio interview with the author:

http://nadiahashimi.com/news-media/

29. A Man Called Ove by Frerik Backman

This is an absolutely dear book. I loved it. It makes you laugh out loud and cry. I love his evolution. You learn why he is the way he is, and you learn about love.  Beautiful story in every way. I highly recommend it. The narrator on this version is also excellent.

This is the rare occasion where I saw the movie before I read the book. I noticed it was on Amazon Prime, and we had a free evening. The movie was nominated for an Academy Award and is a faithful rendering of the book. You will enjoy that also. :)

Here is the trailer:

28. Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption by Bryan Stevenson

This is an eye-opening and informative book, important for Americans to read. We need to rethink incarceration in this country. He brought out some key points about the disproportionate number of black people in prison, being put there without proper legal representation. This book was hard to get through because some of the stories made me, literally, sick to my stomach!  

Bryan Stevenson is a hero and a person of faith who exemplifies that faith without works is dead (James 2:26). I found this article about him informative on this point:

http://www.evangelicalsforsocialaction.org/compassion-and-justice/connecting-with-the-struggle/

The only criticism about this book would be that he sometimes ventures too far into the legal minutiae of many court cases, but it is a great book, and I stayed up late to finish it. It makes me want to do something about this terrible problem we have in this country. But what? How?

27. In the Kingdom of Ice: The Grand and Terrible Polar Voyage of the USS Jeannette

I was a bit confused listening to this audiobook at first, but once the actual story commenced it was much more interesting. What a doomed mission! It hurt my heart to see them go off into the Polar unknown based on misinformation. It is hard to believe there was a time when you could not communicate with the developed world when you would go off on an expedition.

The last hour of the book was excruciating painful to listen to.

From now on are spoilers. So quit reading if you don't want to
find out what happened.

Many of the men survived as they were separated into three separate parties. One of the parties, including the captain, did not survive.  It was so sad, but it was very interesting.

Thursday Thirteen Freewrite

Life has been so full that I have not even had time to do a freewrite. I looked at my calendar today, and after a totally packed Wednesday, I had all day free. Hopefully, I will not fritter it away. But I have been up since about 4:30, and I have not done the best job at focusing. So, I am focusing by writing out my thoughts.

Nothing particular is on my mind. I had a hard beginning of last week, but I chose to "rejoice and be glad" as Psalm 96 directs. It was a choice. I took pictures of beautiful things and looked for Your goodness everywhere. Then I got to work and Dee said, "I am not using my classroom today if you want to use it." And I DID! I "had a ball" in my Pilates I class instead of having to drag all the balls across the gym.  Many other things happened that day that showed me that I didn't need to be down in the dumps.

You see, I discern things in other people. And while I am very grateful for being given lots of empathy for my fellow person, it can be a real bummer when you pick up on things with other people from your past, and you cannot seem to shake the sadness of it all.

That is what happened to me last week. I got a word from God to "Hang with people who GIVE and GROW," and that is why that group of people have never been people I could necessarily hang with, especially as a group. It is almost like the "group mentality" causes there to be such blindness to God. The group becomes more important than Him. He also gave a vision of the white limousine taking me in the opposite direction of my friends who chose to get in a clunky high school car and go the other way. This is from a memory I had of my friends leaving me high and dry after a high school football game and not telling me where they were going - finding out later they went to smoke pot and knew I would not get into doing that - but the loneliness that I felt being all alone behind the bleachers left a painful memory that God needed to heal though picking me up in His white stretch limo.  I have had many moments where I wanted to desperately to fit in, but I knew that it would not do to opt for anything but Jesus. Sometimes that can be lonely, even in circles where everyone is a follower of Jesus. God is just on the buffet, and they want a "little dibble of Him." It is the C.S. Lewis sermon where he said that they "settle for mud pies in the city when God is offering a vacation by the sea."

I want to go in the direction God has for me, and the next week was FILLED with such beautiful, beautiful confirmations of the full, rich life He has given me, but I hurt for them. The discernment meter was off the charts. Consequently the empathy meter led me to sadness. My dear friend said, "You are someone they admire and speak well of always, but I guess that they are drawn in with need. They perceive that you don't 'NEED' them. You are not someone they can offer or fix."  That made sense to me, but I don't like the loneliness. Then she said, "I am so thankful for you and your life and secretly I am thankful that God has set you apart from the world. Sanctified for a purpose."

I suppose I just want people to get in the limo with me so we can all go to the vacation by the sea! There is plenty of room. I want to share the extra room, but the option is always getting in the clunky car of compromise, and I just don't want to go where that car is going.

All that to say is the days built upon each other, and I am called to a different kind of life. What a fun, fun, fun rest of the week, and it didn't stop. God has given me such incredible friends, but it meant saying good-bye to old ones. Now, I only see them when we gather for big functions (and sometimes I am excluded from those as though I am invisible and forgotten). God is good. I am blessed.

And I went over my 13 minute limit and wrote for 20 minutes! BYE! Sending without proofreading.

26. On the Incarnation by Athanasius

This book was part of my Renovaré Book Club ("a guided journey through four soul-shaping books")  reading. It is the last book of four we have been reading from October to June.

Who knew how much I would enjoy this book! Oh my! A man named Christopher Hall (click on the link to read his bio) has guided us through it with an introductory podcast and study guides for each week of reading. They are excellent and have really helped me appreciate this book.

My mind is being expanded in new ways. Since LEARNER is my #1 Clifton StrengthsFinder, this is making my heart soar. It might not be everyone's cup of tea though. Even if it isn't your cup of tea, it is very short so shouldn't be too painful and would expand your world!

25. Two Paths: America Divided or United by John Kasich

This was the man that I wanted to be president. It was good to read about his background, and his vision for America. He ran a very clean campaign and did not get swallowed up in the negativity. He is the real deal.

One big thing I learned was how to pronounce his last name. I rhymes with "basic"!

23. The Pearl by John Steinbeck

I think things are better the second time around, and they are also better when discussed with friends. I have been part of the Book Dames since 2005. It was started when five of us from a contemporary book club that started in 2001 decided to discuss the classics. I am the only original member left. So many of the books are ones I already read, including this one, but discussing it was so meaningful and rich. This group is deep and loves to visit long and lingeringly on a Saturday morning whereas the other "Book Babes" reads much easier books and is in and out of there in very little time. I think I like the long and lingering type better.

This is a cautionary tale pregnant with symbolism. It is very well written and Hector Elizondo's narration is perfect pitch.

24. Poldark's Cornwall by Winston Graham

If you are a fan of the Poldark Series on Masterpiece Theatre and/or the books by Winston Graham, you will love this book of gorgeous photographs of the Cornish Coast with text  by Graham originally published in 1983 and updated in 2016. It is a visual treat, and you will learn more about how Graham came to write these wonderful novels. 

22. The Benedict Option by Rod Dreher

This book had some good points about our post-Christian era. I was so excited to read this after I saw him interviewed on the news and when I realized he is the same person who wrote Crunchy Cons.

He makes some salient points about the degree to which Christians can realistically change the political trajectory of today. (In his mind, that ship has already sailed.) He advocates pulling in and strengthening the church, giving your kids a classical education (something we did with our kids and do not regret, but it is NOT for everyone), and protecting your kids from this oversexualized society. These are all things I agree with, but he got a bit preachy. It also dragged through some of the "preachy" chapters.

21. Exit West by Mohsin Hamid

Wow! This is my favorite book of the year so far. It is so imaginative (the author was inspired by The Chronicles of Narnia). It gives you a different perspective on refugees from all over the world. I loved it. (It does have some language and sexuality that some readers might not like.) Hamid's writing is absolutely beautiful.

Here is the PBS Newshour interview that inspired me to read the book:

20. Lilac Girls

I learned a lot through this book, but I have to admit it was really, really slow in the beginning. I felt like I was reading a harlequin romance, and I almost abandoned it on page 92. But, I did something I have never done before: I read the last chapter, and the author's notes, and it made me curious!

It is interesting because in the author's notes, I read that one of the storylines is not based on anything that happened, and you can tell! It was sort of a stupid storyline, and that is what I almost abandoned on page 92.

It was a SLOG until about page 132. Then, it started moving forward. I learned about something I had never read about: The Rabbits of Ravensbruck.

They were Polish women who had gruesome experiments done on them while they were in Ravensbruck Concentration Camp during World War II.

In the end, I was glad I finished it. I learned quite a bit.

19. Myth Making and Religious Extremism and Their Roots in Crisis

 The information was fascinating in parts, but it droned on with more and more information without much analysis in other parts. I was hoping the author would give analysis about how all of this affect terrorism, but it never seemed to get to this. I kept on saying to the author, "And your point is . . .?" I learned some new facts though, and for that I am grateful. It had no profound conclusions.

It had quite a few typos in the "Terrorism" chapter but not others, and the authors must be atheists because they tend to lump all Christians into one big pot. This will alienate many people who believe that creation is not a myth.

18. Jonathan Swift: The Reluctant Rebel by John Stubbs

I received this audiobook for free from the publisher in exchanged for a unbiased review.

When I first saw that it was 31 hours and 25 CD's (equivalent to 752 pages in the print version), I was a bit overwhelmed, but once I started listening to the excellent narration by Derek Perkins, I knew I was in good hands. WOW! I have listened to many audiobooks by British narrators, and sometimes, especially on academic subjects, they can come across with a "haughty" tone. This is NOT so with Derek Perkins. His narration is all British sophistication without the stuffiness. Excellent choice for a narrator.

The same holds true for the author, John Stubbs. This is a very scholarly biography, but it is not stuffy. It is quite readable (or easy to listen to in my case). I learned many details about British history and found it fascinating, especially since I just went to England last summer, and spent time at Blenheim Palace and many of the spots in London described in the book.

I am sort of a "Brit Lit Nerd" so I really enjoyed this book. I am not sure how much the general population will like it.

I read Gulliver's Travels in 2003, and this biography made me want to read it again now that I have a better handle on the historical background to his satire. I also want to read some of his other works like "A Tale of a Tub" and "A Modest Proposal." So the biography had a very positive effect on me.

I feel so sorry for Swift. His early experiences of abandonment  were heartbreaking. He was brilliant, but I am not sure he was a very happy person.

My only regret with listening to an audiobook is that I did not have access to the pictures that were in a print edition of the book. That would have been very helpful to see the pictures that he sometimes describes.

I agree wholeheartedly with this review of the book in the New York Times:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/20/books/review/jonathan-swift-biography-john-stubbs.html?_r=0

(For West Wing fans, he describes Swift as "an 18th Century Toby Ziegler" - sarcasm and brilliance!)