The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

This all started when I read Renovated (because a directee was reading it, and she knew I loved Dallas Willard). I had also read brain science books like Anatomy of the Soul, and Hardwiring Happiness and had been applying the principles in my spiritual direction. 

Then my word for the year was JOY, and somehow Amazon knew this and recommended Joyful Journey: Listening to Immanuel. So, I read that and started Immanuel Journaling and recommended it to my directees, and they were loving it. Then it led me to Life Model Works and getting on their mailing list. Then, someone trained in the Life Model came and stayed with me, and we talked about it. 

Then I got an email about this study group:

Learning to Become a Full-Brained Christ-Follower - Life Model Works

And this book is what we study. In the class, he recommended The Joy Switch, and I read that (review coming). 

I love all that I am learning in the group, especially the exercises we do as a group. It is six lessons every other week for three months. The next one is in October. 

On top of all of this, I started talking with women who think they are married to Narcissists. One of them said that she had this book recommended to her:

The Pandora Problem: Facing Narcissism in Leaders & Ourselves (still reading) 

She said it was by "Jim Wilder," and I said, "Is this the same guy?" And it is! 

So, I am on a major God-ordained bunny trail with all of this! 

The Body Keeps the Score

 "Competence is the best offense against the helplessness of trauma." 

This is quite a "hot" book right now. I found the first part a lot of review for me having read Hardwiring Happiness and Anatomy of the Soul which deals with a lot of the same issues. I found the last half about EMDR and Neurofeedback fascinating. It gave me a lot to ponder about the violence we see in our world today. 

A pioneering researcher and one of the world's foremost experts on traumatic stress offers a bold new paradigm for healing.

Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat on a daily basis; one in five Americans have been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Such experiences inevitably leave traces on minds, emotions, and even on biology. Sadly, trauma sufferers frequently pass on their stress to their partners and children.

Renowned trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he transforms our understanding of traumatic stress, revealing how it literally rearranges the brain's wiring--specifically areas dedicated to pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. He shows how these areas can be reactivated through innovative treatments including neurofeedback, mindfulness techniques, play, yoga, and other therapies.

Based on Dr. van der Kolk's own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score offers proven alternatives to drugs and talk therapy--and a way to reclaim lives.

2020 Reading Wrap Up

 These are a combined list of questions from Read 52 Books in 52 Weeks. She changed it this year. 

How many books did you read? 68

Which book would you recommend everyone read: 

How to Pray: A Simple Guide for Normal People - No matter how much prayer experience you have. This book is so good to read. It led me to some life-changing decisions. 

I also posted all my answers to the study guide questions and have the study guide in a PDF or a Word Document if you want it. I did this with six other people, and it was really a great experience. 

Did you discover any "new to you" authors? 

Frank McCourt. Loved his writing. 

Tell us about your reading year? What was your goal this year and did you have a plan, and/or follow rabbit trails or wing it? 

My goal was to get through all the book lists for the Book Babes Book Club, the Renovare Book Club, Spiritual Direction tests, and last but not least, the 1000 Book to Read Before You Die list.

I also accomplished the big goal of finishing Proust: In Search of Lost Time! WOOHOO!

Where did your armchair travels take you? 

Moscow, Russia, England, World War II Europe, France, Japan, Ireland, Central Valley California, Texas Samoa, All over America with John Steinbeck, Interior Castle of the Soul, Canada

Which books stood out, made an impression and/or stayed with you the longest? What did you learn from them? 

Interior Castle - I had read her autobiography several years ago, but this is her seminal work, and it encouraged me to go on a deeper adventure in Centering Prayer, and I am glad I did.

The Critical Journey - This was a reread as we went deeper into the book for the second year of Spiritual Direction training. It is such a good base for evaluating where a person is in their journey with God. I have it in the back of my mind with my directees. 

Spiritual Direction - I think this is my favorite of all the books on the subject. It is so thorough and practical.

The Golden Compass - So well written and finally read it for me after so much hub-bub about its anti-Christian undertones.

Silence - Jesuits in Japan. Gruesome. So hard to read but SO well-written!

Friday Night Lights - Such an interesting look into life and values in Central Texas. Mesmerizing. (Caused me to watch the movie and the entire TV series.) 

Angela's Ashes - Totally understand why this is on every classics list. WOW! Such a good memoir of poverty in Ireland. 

Bleak House - This might be my favorite Dickens. And the central characters are women. That is unusual for Dickens.

Open Mind, Open Heart - I finally really "get" Centering Prayer as a result of reading and discussing this book with others. 

Pilgrim at Tinker Creek - So a lovely classic. "Wisdom of born of wonder." 

How to Pray: A Simple Guide for Normal People - No matter how much prayer experience you have. This book is so good to read. It led me to some life-changing decisions. 

Hardwiring Happiness - I learned so much from this book that I apply daily. 

Remains of the Day - Delightful. I saw the movie years ago, but the book is so worth reading. 

Travels with Charley - What a wonderful insight into America in the 60s. 

Which book had the most original, most unique story?  

The Golden Compass - So unusual. The writing is near-perfect.

Which book made you laugh? 

Travels with Charley - Steinbeck is so clever. 

Which one made you cry?

Bleak House

Jude, The Obscure


Which book did you like the least and why? 

The Buddha in the Attic - Just a running list of all these Japanese immigrants to California. NO character development. I am so surprised by anyone who would like this book.

Favorite Cover:

Wednesday Freewrite

 

"Carol, I am so proud of you. What growth I have seen in you in the last three years. I think it is time to launch your own ship." 

I love my spiritual director. She just cuts to the chase. 

I was viciously attacked yesterday by someone with whom I have had maybe one or two in-person conversations that were very pleasant. I communicated with this person in writing when I was asked to give a written evaluation of the program this person leads, and it was glowing. I loved what this person is leading.

So my interactions with this person were only positive until I, on the suggestion of someone in this person's program, asked about maybe joining this person's group because I love the program and love the community of people passionate about the same things I am passionate about. The person's reply was curt, but I went on my merry way for several months until it came to the surface in a prayer time as I was processing what I talked about in yesterday's freewrite. So I emailed about my uncomfortableness with this person's response to me, and the person said "I think I misunderstood what you were asking" and suggested a phone conversation. I assumed the person wanted to know what I meant by the question I initially asked.

So I thought it was going to be an innocuous conversation. This person would tell me what they thought I was asking, and I would clarify what I meant (which was that I love the program and would love to be a part of it and didn't think it was possible until one of this person's leaders suggested that might be a possibility).

How naive I was.

Instead, it started with a "Let's get straight to the point" monologue where the person laid some pretty heavy accusations against me based on my request to be part of this person's group. I was shocked. I really thought it was going to a "clarifying conversation." I listened for a while. Then I tried in vain to clarify the background behind my question. "I love what you are doing. I would love to be a part of it and be around other people who are passionate about it." I said I would not have thought it possible until another person suggested it.  The leader got livid and said, "He said what?!" I tried to defend the other leader. I got the other leader in trouble. OH NO! Then that person on the phone got angrier and attacked my character and making assumptions about me when that person does not even know me. I tried to clarify that I think this person's program is great. I never thought it was possible to be part of it, but it was suggested, and I thought how mutually beneficial it would be to learn from them, and I felt like I would be a great part of the team. (That made the person really sling an arrow of attack - how dare I have the confidence to think I could contribute to the group.) It went really bad, and this person was really angry no matter what I said. 

The person was going into another monologue because that person has learned to be "totally blunt," but I politely said that I think it would be better not to "be totally blunt" anymore because it was hurtful. I appealed to the person's compassion (because they were really starting to scare me - my picture was a pitbull attack), So I politely ended the phone call. I kept calm and did not attack back. WOW. Shocking turn. I really thought when that person said they misunderstood what I was asking that it would just be a clarification.

 I understand why I cannot be in the group now. It is a long process, and they are under restrictions from the people who are over them. But I didn't understand why my asking about being a part of it would be so offensive to this person, and that person felt the need to attack me. I really would not have asked had I not been encouraged by one of the leaders. DEAR ME!

I immediately thought I need to assess whether what this person said about me is true. What this person said was really brutal (and I don't really know the person), and I have such a hard time since this goes against the principles the group teaches. 

But I want to be teachable. It is either a "True Negative," and I will seek to grow from the experience, or it is "False Negative," and I will discard it (let it slide off like Teflon). 

I assess by the responses of the truth-tellers in my life who know me well. Of course, the best one is God. I did some listening prayer about the situation, and that was excellent. He continued to speak to me this morning! The human ones are:

1) My husband - "Do you think that person might be projecting? That is not you. Can I take you out to lunch?" (He took me to my favorite restaurant and bought me ice cream - what a guy.) 

2) My best friend - "Well, they obviously don't know you well. Could this be a dart from the enemy because it is Election Day? Praying the arrow bounces off." 

3) Spiritual Director - What I said at the start of this freewrite,  "Carol, I am so proud of you. What growth I have seen in you in the last three years. That person was bullying you, and you disengaged." Later she said, "You are more than qualified. This confirms this person's group is not a good fit, and I think it is time to launch your own ship."  Then, we explored the pattern of me allowing the entry of bullies into my life, my continued desire to want to connect with people that borders on compulsion, and me thinking I am not competent yet or I might be missing something and need more and more training. 

By the end of my conversation with my director, the arrows had bounced off, but I know our brains are "Velcro for the bad and Teflon for the good." So I will apply the HEAL principle to this situation in my Examen Prayer time. (I also took a long walk in Peavy Arboretum the next day and soaked in the experience of God's presence but linked it to this bad experience like the book Hardwiring Happiness suggests. I kept hearing God say, "Launch your own ship.")

 I think I am going to be OK. I should also say that everything around this conversation before and after was so life-giving for me. I was affirmed again and again by people whom I love and love me. I was also affirmed in my gifts and calling from an unplanned direction session with one of my directees who assumed we were meeting (even though we had not scheduled it). 

God is so good! YAY HIM! 

FOLLOW UP: 

I went to the Northumbrian Community Daily Prayer. I have it in a book. So part of it was to see if they were the same. They were not. I went on to pray about the above situation asking God, "Is your word for me to 'launch my own ship' as my director said to me?" This was the poem for meditation:

Today’s Meditation

Many a ship has sailed from port to port
with no interference from Me,
because Strong Will has been at the wheel.
Multitudes of pleasure cruises
go merrily on their ways,
untouched by the power of My hand.

But you have put your life into My keeping,
and because you are
depending on Me for guidance and direction,
I shall give it.

Move on steadily,
and know that the waters that carry you
are the waters of My love and My kindness,
and I will keep you on the right course.

Frances J. Roberts

From: https://www.northumbriacommunity.org/offices/morning-prayer/

It turns out this is from a book called Come Away, My Beloved! This is a book I devoured in my 20s! Since this, God has confirmed more and more that I need to "launch my own ship." I have no idea what that will mean, but he will carry me in the waters of His love and His kindness and keep me on the right course! 

53. Hardwiring Happiness

 

Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence by Rick Hanson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A fascinating look at the science behind being mindful. The author proposes that our brains are "Velcro for the bad and Teflon for the good." So we need to be intentional about dwelling on the good. It goes along with Philippians 4:8-9, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."

From this book, you will . . .

-Understand biological wiring and predisposition to having a negative brain
-Learn how happy and sad thoughts are dictated by your brain and how you should respond
- Delve into the science behind why it is so difficult for us to really bask in the good things that happen, and why we immediately hold tight to the negatives
- Discover training for your brain that will teach you how to embrace the positive
- Develop a user-friendly tool kit to expand feelings of happiness while identifying and responding to positive input
- Learn to erase years of negative and traumatic experiences and overcoming fear
- Learn about the power of journaling, gratitude meditation, morning activities to set your brain
- Research about how to HEAL children and bring your own experiences to education
(This summary was from a course on the book here: https://www.hol.edu/courses/hardwirin... )

His acronym for doing this is H.E.A.L.:

HAVE a good experience -
1. Notice one you are already having.
- In the foreground of awareness
- In the background OR
2. Create one.

ENRICH IT - Open your self to it. Enriching makes the experience more powerful by:
-Duration
- Intensity
- Multimodality
- Novelty
- Salience

ABSORB IT
Absorbing makes memory systems more receptive by priming and sensitizing them.
- Intend and sense the experience is sinking into you.
- Imagery – Water into a sponge; golden dust sifting down; a jewel into the treasure chest of the heart
- Sensation – Warm soothing balm
- Giving over to the experience; letting it change you
- Letting go of resisting, grasping, clinging: “craving”

LINK IT - Feel it and let it soothe the negative parts of you (the things that have VELCROD to your brain.)

I read this because next month is a Gratitude month, and I am going to take one experience from the day and apply this!

This website has a wonderful podcast interview with the author:

https://chriskresser.com/how-to-hardwire-happiness-with-dr-rick-hanson/ 

The transcript is also on the website if you prefer to read it. 

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