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| Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash |
Ok, I am doing a 20 minute freewrite. I think I am going to shut off "Grammarly" because it annoys me with over suggestions that are more "preferences" for them.
I think my freewrites are usually 15 minutes. I am not sure why I told my timer to set it for 20, but I am going with that.
I am out in my outdoor office again on this Friday. It is my last workday for the school year. I am going to sub for four more classes in June and July, but I won't be back for the fall, if not for the Winter as I am probably going to Europe.
I had something come up. I had decided in March to not do the Deepen, but the head of it wanted to meet with me. As I suspected, they did want me and there were some changes to their plan that made the whole thing a bit more appealing for me.
If I did that, I would be in Europe for quite a long time, and I am thinking that maybe I might just do that and the Camino and forget about the Gathering later on. I would be in Europe from October 11-November 4th, and I don't really want to be away from home that long.
So, I will go back to pray and see what happens. I hold it all with open hand. As the time I made the decision, I was thinking I would be starting an in-person spiritual direction training, but K cannot start until 2026, and I have had no other "takers." I think people don't really understand what spiritual direction is.
I had someone over, and we talked for six hours. So many things that I had discerned about dynamics were confirmed. I cannot go into it here, but it has caused me to realize that K and I have discern things correctly over the years, and that confirmation was good but also sad. I had to do some walking and talking with God over the whole thing. I know that I am glad that I trusted my discernment enough to say, "No" to two things I was asked to be a part of. I realize it would have sucked me into the control of a very unhealthy person, and I do not want to do that.
But the talk with the director of Deepen was so refreshing. I see growth. I see less stress. It was a lightness on the face that I found endearing. It is also a realization that my lightness of being and overflow of joy was welcomed. Could I bring that light and love to an in-person residency?
Again, I will pray and reconsider. Things were so much clearer for me when I had made a final decision in March. I will let it play out.
Oh, and it was also so good to know that it wasn't as much work as I thought going to be! I would have a "reader" who would read the written projects. I also did not have to read through and give feedback on the non-supervised areas people per month. That added another two-three hours per month that I was not paid for last time. Basically, last time I worked for this group, I put in about 160 hours of work in 10 months, and it turned out to be about $7 an hour! That just was not worth it. Well, I am going to freewrite something that was worth it: it lead to the ABC Supervising Group with five lovely ladies who we so fun to supervise because they are such good directors! It also led me to go on with J. So, I do think it was a good thing.
I am still dreaming of doing something with the graduates of the 2HC. 2HC continuing formation. I need to give this a proposal when I meet with the guys in the middle of June. I am so grateful for this group. It has grown me in many ways. I am grateful.
So, what else have I been up to? I have lost about 10-12 pounds, and this time, it has been pretty easy. I always tell myself that recording on Lose It! has been the best thing (well maybe BodyBugg was a bit more successful, but they went out of business.), and I got so lazy, but I have recorded for 38 days now, and I am doing well. I am just taking it 10 lbs. at a time, and I only needed lose a bit to be in the "healthy" range of my weight. I feel much better.
I have also been reading crazily. Now that I am done with Renovare Book Club (perhaps for good), I am able to read from my 1000 Books to Read, and as this blog shows, I am been going pretty crazy for the last couple of months. I am now #1 on the List Challenge 1000 Books to Read List. I am still going to get to 500 and take a break. I have a whole group of books queued up, and I am plugging my way through them. I tried to finish the book, How Buildings Learn from the OSU Library so I could turn it in for my last day of teaching, but it is pretty tedious (albeit interesting at the same time). So, I will turn it in when I substitute on the 23rd. I have a long term loan on it since I am faculty (or am I staff ? I cannot remember.) So, there is no hurry to get it in, and it certainly isn't a "high demand" item!
There is my timer. BYE!
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