The grace I am praying for is "the gift of acknowledging the divine Presence, Emmanuel and the Spirit of Life." It was perfect for today because when I did my Examen this morning - I did a variation of the Examen by doing the Three Circles Exercise - Where am I? (preoccupations of the heart, soul, mind, body) How am I? (feelings about those preoccupations) Who am I? (what does God say to you about those things). I realize the only thing I am sort of anxious about is teaching at the club today. I feel so called to do this at OSU. I am always energized after there. It was a good thing for me to teach regularly at the club for seven months, but it was not as life-giving, and I had other things I was called to (visiting MIL and Lorraine and writing my manual for the Spiritual Exercises), and it was a good call. But I am a little dreading going there today. I LOVE the people I work with. I love my boss and the front desk supervisor is especially lovely. It is just a hit or miss with the class as people are in and out, coming late, leaving early. I like that OSU is a required participation because that is how one gets strong. Anywho, I felt like God said in the "Who am I?" question is LIGHT. So I will be a light.
Lightworks is so lovely. I love how Tetlow has made this little portion of the Exercises available. So, what I heard after meditating on John 3 was "Come Out into the Light!" I felt like I was supposed to journal my drams about the future, and I had a lot. The main point of this week was to reiterate that God is with me always. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. So, I have some crazy dreams, and God is saying to "Light the world on fire!" But I know it will sort of drop in my lap. He gave me the word "Good and Gifted" on the Spiritual Director front, and I can receive that. On the organizing of the PUMP party, I have confidence and he said all I have to be is a "Calm, intercessor and worshiper." I can do that! Having things come together and coordinating a bunch of people over many hours is daunting. Life has changed for my coworkers as they have both had children since we first started five years ago. I am content and happy with that. It will come together. God is with me. That is the theme today and every day. Not on this earth to go it alone. "I am with you always even to the end of time."
Tetlow also has this wonderful little prayer of consideration called "The Lilies of the Field" that was lovely. It was basically about letting go of things that are out of our control. The lily just stands in the field through change and wind and rain. God made it the kind of lily it is and where it stands. No control over that either Most paragraphs end: "Who much of my life world is my making; how much is God's?" One ends: "How much of my life growth is my making; how much is God's?"
For all that, not even Solomon dressed up in gold-embroidered brocade was any more lovely than that lily. So for all that has shaped and misshaped me, for all that has given me health and inflicted ill health on me--I am precious in the eyes of God, and honored, and God loves me as I am. Otherwise, I would not be as I am, though God would be glad were I to slough off my selfish sins. But they are trash compared to God's creating love in me, whose love will burn them away like flakes on the bark of a flaming pine log. How much of me is mine; how much can be God's?
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