Freewrite on a Monday Morning

I am on Day 18 of this newest trial. My Enneagram Thought this morning was about Type Twos usually having a "positive outlook" on things, and that is me. I have been looking on the bright side of all of this, but the Enneagram Thought encouraged me to express my real feelings. This is hard because I really do, with all my heart, not denying, see that this has been a good thing for me! I love reading all day and not feeling guilty about it. I usually feel like I "should" be doing something. But doing something doesn't always have to be WORK. Part of it is that I am saying to myself, "You need to move to keep your muscle loose and 'motion in the lotion' for my pain management." That is "body-work" to avoid the consequences. I also count meeting with friends as part of my mental health work. So, it isn't all "work, work, work" (I feel a Rhianna song coming on). 

George is staying home for at least the morning because Paul has his one year follow up appointment for his teeth reconstruction. I think my accident was on the anniversary day of his final procedure. What a long endurance test that was.

OK, is this leg thing just another endurance test? George keeps on telling his friends that I am "tough," and years of pain in my back has made me pretty resilient. And being a college-level athlete helps too. It is amazing what you can do when you get in the right mental space. I loved that about what sports taught me about life endurance.

I don't know if I am so tough as that I am resilient and dependent. I hear that Type Twos have a hard time receiving help, and I don't have any problem with that. I have so appreciated all the meals that have come our way because I cannot cook. I so appreciate people's offers. I do have a hard time asking when others are all around me and having a good time, and I don't want to stop the fun by asking the obvious, "Could you get me some food?" It was interesting last Monday to have everyone around me eating their breakfast as I sat in the chair, and no one asked me if I wanted something to eat. I finally asked for a nectarine. I think a Type Two would ask a person who cannot walk if they could get them something, but I was the only Type Two in the room. LOL!

I have liked all the reading I have been getting through. I am trying to read 31 books in August. I don't know if that will be possible with all the books on my list that are quite long. I have also decided to read Proust. The comment by his brother that only one who is ill or has a BROKEN LEG could get through Proust's seven volumes. Well, that is me! I still laugh about that, and getting through Proust would be a life goal. I bought all seven volumes in one Kindle book for only 1.99! Can you believe it? I am reading but also listening to it on the text to speech feature, and I am tracking just fine with the digital voice (that I have turned to a British accent that makes it more fun). I listened to much of Nabokov's autobiography this way too, and that story was fascinating. I also have enjoyed listening to Shakespeare and Pygmalion. It is just nice to be reading some classics again after reading many of the Book Dames choices which where mostly non-fiction and more modern. They were actually quite good this year, but there is something about the classics that just sets my soul on fire.

I want to say that God has continued to speak to me about strengthening me with POWER through his Spirit in my inner being (Ephesians 3:16). I really believe He has met me very powerfully during my occasional low points on this journey. I just had a time of centering prayer as I meditated on POWER of the Spirit. It was great. Focus on the Lord. Draw from resources in the Spirit. That is what life is all about.