Saturday Sixteen Freewrite about the Last Two and a Half Weeks (Sort of an Examen)

Sometimes Living Out My Calling Can Involve a LOT of People
 (my "Cardboard Sign" from the 2 HC Monthly Meeting I Led)

I have not had a freewrite since that fateful week when I was hiking with George. It was July 13th. It has been 2 1/2 weeks. I have to admit, I have not felt well since that time. I go for walks, and I feel nauseated and really tired and want to turn back around. I finally just climbed into bed yesterday after a walk that left me nauseated. 

It could also be from all the activity since the beginning of July.

• Kick off of new 2HC with 11 hours of retreat (7/1-3)
• 21-Hour Silent Retreat (7/2)
• 2HC Small Group setting up of small group time involved lots of time (7/3-9)
• Met with 21 directees 
• Trained for the Camino by walking a lot (and sometimes listening to audiobooks)
• Led Silent Prayer for Jo (2x) (7/7 & 14)
• Wrote a blog post on Silent Prayer.  (7/16) (See it here.)
• Uncertainty and limbo of when Francis & Shelly were coming. (7/10-15) They finally came ... (7/15-16)
  
• Lunch at Eats and Treats with Francis & Shelly
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   Dinner with the Seaders (7/15)
• Tour of OSU with Breakfast with F & S
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• Kayaking the Willamette with F & S (7/16)

• Drilling about the Enneagram from Francis
• Dinner with F & S 
• Hosted worship and dinner with Group (7/17)
• Late-night talk with K & J after
• Supervised for a direction session (7/18) - The supervision was more frustrating than the session I was being supervised for. Cammie supervised me for the same session a month earlier, and she is a better fit for me.
• Did my FIRST supervision session (7/18) - My style was totally different from the one I was supervised for earlier in the day. I am so glad I decided to go with the supervision training from Lucy Abbott Tucker. It was SO grace-filled. She gave me a great model. 
• Got quotes from Camino and Santiago Ways (7/19)
• Investigated plane flights for October Camino and Belfast 24-7 Prayer only to be totally frustrated by Delta's site. (7/19)
• Interviewed Andrew on a Rule of Life for the Fruitful Disciple Podcast - ask me for the link (7/19)
• Set up and wrote a script for an interview with Dano (7/19)
• Coaching two times with an Enneagram 8 (including hours of preparation for teaching) - 7/19 & 26)
• Dinner at Sandy and David's house (noticed how really tired I was but loved the time) - 7/20

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  Beautiful Cuppa' for George by David!

  
  
• 32nd anniversary at Gamberetti's (7/21)

• OMS Sponsor Interview with Elizabeth (7/22)
• Beach Day from 10am-11:30pm on 7/22 with Maddy and Katherine that included lunch, walking along the beach for 11.5 miles, appetizers with M & K at Sorella's, and dinner joined by George, John, Terry, and Larry. Then, late night fishing off the jetty joined by Mer.
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• Ate Dinner with the Southworths and Ervins at Eats and Treats (7/23) 
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• Church (7/24) 
• Talked with Sandy about her major decision (7/25) 
• Led first 2nd Half Collaborative Small Group (7/26)
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• Dinner with five couples and Shawn at the Donaldson's (7/26)
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• Prayer half day at the library followed by lunch with George for my birthday! (7/27)
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• Birthday cake with Maddy and John
• Started Weight Watchers again (with Kim but we didn't know the other had signed up on the same day!)
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• Led an OMS prayer watch (Three Circles Exercise) (7/28)
• Scheduled plane flights to California for the reunion only to not have my credit card work because it had expired (7/28)
• Ordered a new card and wonder if we should not go to California (7/28)
• Pastini's belated birthday lunch with Kim (7/28)

Looking at all of this, I am tired. I have had so many people in my life over the last 2 1/2 weeks! The reunion totally slipped through the cracks in the process of all the things from this month. 

It is interesting to review the last two weeks because most of the interactions were very life-giving for me. I LOVE people! The only ones that were not were the supervision session (felt very judged and like I had done it "wrong" when I have been supervised many times by others and have never had a problem with my "focus statement" UGH) and plane ticket reservations for both California and the Camino (blocked task goals).

I love people, but I can also get very drained when it is prolonged over a long period and when people are asking me to do things for them, and I have to say, "No." 

 Hmm... Jesus often departed to lonely places to pray. He had long and loving periods of people contact, but he often departed. See the Cycle of Grace that Jesus exemplified

 So, that is what I am doing from the 4-15th of August. I am closing the door to people contact other than my life-giving family!

After just one directee yesterday morning, I was totally free. I rested, but I still feel sick. So maybe I just have a bug or something? It is so weird. I am used to having a lot of energy and pep, and my "get up and go, got up and went" as the phrase we used to say in the 70s goes! 

So, I thought I could just write a bit for my time with God this morning. I am supposed to not "edit my emotions" for my Enneathought of the Day. So that is what I am doing! That supervision session really DID bother me, and I dealt with the emotions at the time, but it is good for me to have a 2 1/2 week Examen! :) I am sure that supervisor is great, but she was definitely not the right fit for me! Pretty canned and non-relational in her approach.