I give myself the option of having a Sabbath on Saturday or Sunday, depending on whether there is a wedding or activity on one or the other of the days.
So I looked at this day, 27th, my monthly birthday celebration, as a "clean calendar day." YAY! Then at 10:30 yesterday I get a Facbook message from a college friend whom I have not seen in probably 8 years.
"Hey, girl. I am driving down to Corvallis right now. Can you meet at 10 am for coffee?"
I am thinking that it is Friday, but if it is 10:30, she must mean TOMORROW.
Yep, it was TOMORROW. Or today.
I am really good at saying "NO" these days. But how do you say "NO" to someone you see once in a blue moon?
So there goes my Sabbath. So I will switch it to Sunday. I love the flexibility, but it means saying "NO" to something I was looking forward to, but I am determined to have one day a week for total rest.
Things that I have prayed about for SO MANY YEARS are coming together. I am not sure how they will come together, but they will. I am resigned to believe that I have a leadership role in this even though I would rather just sit back and "be a resource" and one-on-one companion of the movers and the shakers of the Movement. That is more my role in life: best friend to the president of my sorority, back up center to an All-American and Olympic Gold Medalist, etc.
But this week was Purim, and the story of Esther keeps going in my mind as I have prayed:
"And who knows but that you have come to your position for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14 - I even played Esther in a play once, by the way.)
God keeps saying FLY. My spiritual director, Fran, says I AM CONFIDENT. But why is there still this little bird inside of me that wants to go back to the nest?
This morning, scripture in Lectio365 (or was it yesterday?) became my breath prayer:
OUT: DO NOT FEAR
IN: I AM WITH YOU
OUT: DO NOT BE DISMAYED
IN: I AM YOUR GOD (Isaiah 41:10)
God knows that fear, and he obviously knew that people would struggle with it. But Fran says that she hears me saying I am fearful, but she sees me walking in confidence. (As I skipped and danced on my walk with George yesterday, I sang, "I have confidence in sunshine. I have confidence in rain..." That song in The Sound of Music has been my song since I would sing it at the top of my lungs with Tara Rozelle when we were 6 years old!)
Well, here is my 15-minute bell, and I must go for a walk and do some Pilates!