Fullfilled Freewrite Fifteen

Deep down, I have peace and will write for a fifteen-minute freewrite. I have been doing them on this blog for several years. Freewrites were introduced to me by my good friend, Julie Bogart, who is the head of Bravewriter. You can write or type non-stop for fifteen minutes with anything that is in your head. It is helpful for me.

It is helpful especially as I am coming off two very FULLfilling days of training FOURTEEN soon-to-be spiritual directors. I am shadowing my trainers who are with Sustainable Faith. Although I will be Sustainable Faith trained, I will launch out on my own with a whole new curriculum that combines what I have learned from over 40 years of contemplative practices, influences from spiritual formation with Renovare Spiritual Formation Groups (that I started here in the early 90s and grew from there), Renovare Institute, and also my newer learnings on Attachment theory through Curt Thompson and Life Model Works (2 classes and numerous books). I will also teach from my training in the Enneagram (different from how Sustainable Faith covers it). I will also include the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius using the manual I wrote.  Oh, and there will be more on Belovedness and hearing God from Jamie and Donna. :) 

I love creating this curriculum, and God is speaking to me about letting go of some things I wanted to be included in, but as Marie says in The Sound of Music, "Reverend Mother always says, 'When the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.'" And my window is outside what has been done before. God is doing a new thing, and I am so excited to fly out that window into the wide-open blue and beautiful skies! YAY!

I also want to empower people worldwide to train spiritual directors. They can do it under my umbrella so they can be recognized by ESDA, but I would love to see training in third-world countries for people who cannot afford the steep (and getting steeper) prices of spiritual direction training. 

Back to the training, I feel like I failed in one supervision session. Not failed, but I ran out of time to supervise, but that was partly because of the person I was supervising. I wanted to get to other things, but many questions caused me not to wrap things up. I also was not in charge of moving things along because my computer froze. So the person I was supervising had to show it on their screen. It went OK though.

I am a bit peopled out though. Really and truly. I have a doctor's appointment at 1:45. Then, I will rest until 6 pm when one of my directees comes over. Tomorrow, I just have to teach one class, maybe meet with a friend from out of town on campus, and the 40th FSF Banquet. 

Then, it will be time for a well-deserved Sabbath for me. I really want to rest. But I also want to put together this curriculum. This is going to be so much fun. 

Lord, help me and lead me to be creative with all of this. I have 1 1/2 minutes left. Then, I will do some writing until I go to the doctor. I am so excited Lord. I am pretty fulfilled! 

YAY for FLYING FREE. 

Fifteen Minute Freewrite

It is time for a freewrite. It is Tuesday. Today is a light day. I'm meeting with someone at 8 am. Then I have my Spiritual Accompaniment of Children Class at 5-7. I am looking at the schedule for this week, I met with a 30-something yesterday afternoon, and I have three 30-somethings as my next three directees. I love it. There is something vibrant and wonderful about this age. They are in such change in their lives. One is a young mom, another is a single who just returned from overseas, another single has just made a decision to go to a specific place to join specific people (our friends, in fact), and another is a young married who is just starting the process of moving overseas. 

This excites me.

And I am facilitating my twice monthly 19th Annotation of the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius group. They are one 30-something, two 40-somethings, and a 60-something. I love the meditations this week, and I kept singing a John Thurlow song called "Mighty Hand" that combines words and concepts from three of the passages we are meditating on this week in Luke 15 ("You put the ring upon my finger. You put the robe upon my back. You throw your arms around me and say, "You are My son, My daughter, don't forget"), Psalm 136 ("With a mighty hand, and an outstretched arm"), and John 8 ("Where are your accusers now?". It throws in Romans 8 (a passage that has a history for me) that we meditated on in Week 3 ("There is therefore now condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus"). The second song combines Romans 8 and Ephesians 3 which we meditated on last week! I love this.

So, I have been listening to the worship set above and loving it. I love how God leads me down little roads every morning. While I have a plan about what I am meditating on, God takes it from there. I love my mornings with Him, and I have until 8 am this morning. 

Yesterday morning, I had an earlier start, leading an Order of the Mustard Seed Prayer Watch at 5:30 am. There were 10 people there, and I subbed for Ciara, and she had a PowerPoint all made up for me. It was a visio divina, and I had looked at that picture for days, and I wondered what people would get out of it, especially me, and I got so much out of it! 

I will write about that someday because I think my Freewrite Fifteen Minutes is almost done. Yep. 55 seconds, and I am moving on.

Yesterday, I also spent time writing out a job description for my Spiritual Direction Training Intern. I want an intern every time! B in South Asia is discerning whether it would be a good thing for her. 

BYE! 

Aposto-monasticism

Order of the Mustard Seed · Season 3 Episode 12: Joe Steinke, Jill Weber and Pete Greig – Apostomonasticism

Fifteen Minute Freewrite

Order of the Mustard Seed Ring - Vow Ceremony 

It is Thursday, and I just finished listening to Pete Grieg's opening message for the 24-7 Gathering in Rotterdam. I went to the Vow Ceremony this morning at 6 am (I did not read the email and thought it was at another time - actually, I think they must have changed it because I had another day and time on my calendar - usually they do it on the last day of The Gathering, but they did it before The Gathering even started this time). It was a God moment for sure. I'm glad I signed in under the OMS sign-in (I couldn't find my link so went there and just pressed) because it automatically made me a co-host, and the regular host must not have seen that people needed to be let in the meeting because there were so many people waiting in the waiting room. So, I let them all in and proceeded to let about another 50 more throughout the two hour time (a couple of people kept coming in and out). So, it was good I signed in that way.

It was beautiful, and I got to see Kevin take his vows, which was nice. I wish I could have seen Meredith take hers, though. I have not heard from her in over a month. I texted her while she was at the conference but never heard back.

It is hard to believe that today was the day we had the OMS USA Retreat. It was a lot of meetings, and I wasn't very comfortable at first, but I ended up liking it a lot.

24-7 people are good people. 

I had something that sort of bugged me today, but I talked to George about it, and we both came to the same conclusion that I am definitely not supposed to be a part of it, and being "excluded" from the "big table" is really a gift from him. There are other things that God has for me to do. 

I think that can be true for being excluded from another thing. That caused me to create my own thing, and I feel pretty happy that I can create! I think it will be really good in the end.

I am taking a class on Body Restoration and Renew. I want to include whole classes in my repertoire, and I also want to use some of the these movements at the end of my active class. I just always seem to run out of time in my active class. I need to just skip some exercises so that I can do that. I was getting nauseatiated from some of the movements in the training, but I think it was because I was getting sick. It is some kind of flu. I took some Day Quill, and it has made me feel so much better. I didn't get nauseated today when doing a 50 minute class. I just have two more sessions, and I can take the final exam and be certified to teach a Restorative class. I think that will be very nice for my students.

Pete's message was good. After all the scandals with leaders here in the States, I am fairly certain that he is in quite a bit of accountability. These scandals are almost like some of these pastors go into ministry to BE predators. I watched another podcast about it last night, and it made me so sad. Some of these men are still at the churches, and the ones that are gone still have all their messages still on line. 

Shame on you, Morningstar Church! It is so sad to me. 

Something that I noticed. I gave up the news over four years ago. It was about a month before the the 2020 election, and I just gave it up cold turkey. It is hard to believe it has been four years, but it has been, and I am so happy I did. I went back to it a couple of nights ago, and it didn't trigger me like it did last election cycle. I can watch it just enough to know how to pray. I just want healing for our great divisions in our land. 

Graham and Nicole are coming over for dinner tomorrow night. That will be great. Their daughter is sick. We might want to postpone a bit for it. I think my flu is running its course. So, I feel pretty good about tomorrow. I am going to go and teach my Pilates class. 

It should be fun.

There is my 15 minute timer. BYE! 

The Day of the Jackal

Wow! It is so compelling, well-written, and the epitome of a page-turner. I loved it. It is totally worth your time. 

There is some sexual content, so I am a bit leary of the new mini-series coming in November 2024. But the whole time I was reading, I was imagining Eddie Redmayne. 

Here is why James Mustich thinks it should be one of the 1000 Books You Read Before You Die:

James Mustich

Jul 31, 2018

This taut narrative of a 1963 assassination attempt on French president Charles de Gaulle proves that drama, like the devil, is in the details; throughout his intricate chronicle of the techniques and activities of a professional assassin, hired by a homegrown terrorist group incensed by de Gaulle’s decision to grant independence to Algeria, Frederick Forsyth exhibits a peerless gift for spinning facts into suspense. The preparations of the Jackal—the killer’s code name—are enthralling in their relentless ruthlessness, and the investigative research and desperate energies of the detectives on his trail are equally absorbing. Forsyth’s work has spawned a tribe of imitators that is now in its second generation, but the original article has lost none of its appeal. The Day of the Jackal is the epitome of a page-turner.

The Presence of God Emerges

Friday Freewrite

I rarely feel the blahs, but I do.

Mark it on your calendar that Carol feels blah.

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

I had a great time with God this morning. George went to have breakfast with his brother and is spending the day doing things for his 95-year-old mom. 

Then mid-morning I decided to get a sub for Pilates and just stay home. 

I have tried for the last two hours to find a sub, and only one person responded with a "no." I subbed for her last February, and she couldn't sub for me when I needed someone in the spring, but she left the university. She owes me a sub or compensation for my time, but she seems very unwilling. Sigh.

When I taught for seven years before my first retirement, I subbed several times for someone who never paid me back, and then she retired. After that, I decided that my time was valuable, and I would require people to pay me or sub for me. Now I know that the next time I sub, I will make sure we are clear that I expect to be paid or for them to sub for one of my classes, and if they leave the university, they need to pay me. This person has no compulsion to do so. 

So that made me feel more blah. 

Then I found out a saint in my church died yesterday. 

NEWSFLASH: I had to stop my freewrite because a blessed coworker is covering for me today! I am free for the whole day today and tomorrow. I will take one of those days to catch up on some work and the other for a total Sabbath. 

YAY!

I was evaluating the last month, and it has been full (albeit full-filling). 

Time with God has been SO SWEET. I love going through the Exercises. Ed did lead yesterday. He never volunteered last year, but we are co-leading. So, I asked him to lead this month. But I still had to send the link, save the transcript, and monitor the timer. It wasn't a total rest for me from leading, but it was great to just listen, and that was really good for me to do. He did a great job. It was also on the heels of leading a 19th Annotation time the day before. This is one of the few times when these two groups will be on the same week. 

Group spiritual direction takes more energy for me, but I love it. These are great groups in both camps. The one I lead monthly with Ed took me a little more time to get used to. The 19th Annotation is all the people I have spent time with over the last year (and one of them from two years ago). 

All that to say, I am reminded that I am a true introvert. People are always surprised, but I know when I am peopled out. I think that was why I didn't want to go and teach my class today.

Also, there is one student who is a complainer, and I just don't do well with complainers. I have had so few of them in all the years that I have taught, but this woman is very verbal. She is not mean about it, but she lets herself be heard ("The music is too loud. I don't like music at all. I don't like bands because it takes so long to adjust them, and you do only five repetitions then I miss the exercise because it took so long to set my band up, etc." - for the record, we do more than five repetitions, and I give them plenty of time to adjust their bands, but I digress.) I had no complaining people last year, and that was nice. 

I realized that I was tuckered out from the unexpected teaching on Sunday. It was SO FUN, but I missed a restful Sabbath so I could prepare for Sunday. 

I also had two last-minute direction sessions. I don't usually do this last minute, but I sensed God wanted me to, and I was so blessed. I had another session that was longer than usual because of a last-minute decision to do a typing interview. So that added things. Live and learn! 

Also, I am on week two of five weeks in a row of the Spiritual Accompaniment of Children class. Before that, we had two weeks and then a break. Then three weeks in a row followed by breaks. I have learned so much in this class, but I am on Week 7 out of 12 and look forward to it being over.

We also have more PDF readings of many pages for the second half of the course. I find PDFs more difficult to read.  I did have the idea to send the PDFs to my Kindle Scribe. That makes notetaking right on the document much easier. 

Also, the people in my group are not committed to meeting with their children for spiritual direction and doing their reflection forms. So, last week, I was the only person who shared in the group from a session. I wonder if I am the only one seeking a certification in this? Maybe so. 

It might be better to separate the people according to those going for certification and those who are not. I might feel more challenged and encouraged. Neither person in my group is a spiritual director, and I thought it was a course for spiritual directors. That was my mistake for not reading the fine print. I do love meeting with the kids, and I like my supervisor. 

I am so relieved I don't have to teach today. 

There is the bell! Good Friday FREEwrite! 

Wednesday Morning Freewrite Fifteen

I have a rare thing: a clean calendar day in the middle of the week! We take regular Sabbath Days, but that is usually Saturday or Sunday with Monday through Friday as our work days, but I woke up this morning and looked, and NOTHING!

Yesterday was meeting with someone who might intern with me as I train spiritual directors next year, if I do an online version of what I am doing in person. It is exciting because she is living in Asia where people do not have the money to go to spiritual direction training. So, we are trying to dream up something online for her to do once she is trained by me.

It is all quite exciting. So, much of my day yesterday was looking at that.

Then, I went to my Spiritual Accompaniment of Children class. I am halfway through. Woohoo. I have loved the four kids I have been meeting with. I might try to meet with kids from another family if God plops them in my lap.

All that to say is that extra hours per week contributed to a pretty busy fall. Still, I am done with the OMS Retreat, my 19th Annotation of the Spiritual Exercises, and the 2nd Half Collaborative small group (campfire) started sailing (after a rather bumpy start). I have the dates for the 18th Annotation on the calendar. I have also started the time with the 2nd Half Collaborative directee assigned to me. I also started my Pilates class at a new time that is much better for attendance. My class has quadrupled in size! (So good to force myself to do a full Pilates routine. I will do this for a long time to come.) 

Whew. It has been a FULL FALL, but most has been the puzzle of scheduling all the components:

1. Renovare Book Club
2. Boller Cohort
3. Spiritual Accompaniment of Children Class
4. Spiritual Direction with four children (over 12/10)
5. 19th Annotation of the Spiritual Exercises
6. 18th Annotation of the Spiritual Exercises
7. 2nd Half Collaborative Campfire
8. OMS Centering Prayer (on hold until Jan)
9. OMS Occasional Prayer Watch Subbing
10. Pilates OSU
11. 17 Individual Directees and Supervisees
12. Elder/Staff with spouses gatherings for church
13. Interacting Cross-Culturally Class we are team teaching (over 10/27)
14. OMS Retreat (done on 10/2)

So, there you go. It is all in the calendar! 

The nice thing is becoming somewhat inactive in the OMS for this season (still lead Centering Prayer starting back up in January and subbing periodically) 

Wow, that was fast. 

TaTa for Now!